The Storm

The earth rumbles as the sky turns dark.

I listen quietly as the storm gathers.

Lightning splits the sky. Thunder follows.

Rain falls—washing the ground,

cleansing, renewing, giving life.

I lift my hands in the storm.

What breaks the sky also shapes me.

I stand in the roar and choose worship.

Not because the storm is gentle,

but because I am held within it.

Safe.

The One who allows the storm is faithful.

Psalm 107:28-31 “Yet when they cried out to the Lord in their trouble, the Lord brought them out of their distress. He calmed the storm and its waves quieted down. So they rejoiced that the waves became quiet, and he led them to their desired haven. Let them give thanks to the Lord for his gracious love and for his awesome deeds on behalf of mankind.”

Psalm 89:8 “Lord God All-Powerful, there is no one like you. You are strong, Lord, and always faithful.”

When we Feel Forgotten, Trust in Him

O LORD, how long will you forget me? Forever? How long will you look the other way? How long must I struggle with anguish in my soul, with sorrow in my heart every day?

How long will my enemy have the upper hand?

Turn and answer me, O LORD my God! Restore the light to my eyes, or I will die.

Don't let my enemies gloat, saying, "We have defeated him!" Don't let them rejoice at my downfall.

But I trust in your unfailing love. I will rejoice because you have rescued me. I will sing to the LORD because he has been so good to me. Psalm 13 (NLT)

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I love these words of David. He, who God says is “a man after My own heart” understood what it meant to be deeply sad in his soul.

He felt forgotten. He felt that God no longer saw him. He thought he might die if God didn’t answer.

I get it. I’ve been there. I struggle often with a deep sadness of the soul. But, like David, I refuse to stay there.

The first thing David does is pray. He prays honestly, pouring out exactly how he feels  He asks God to defeat his enemy. Davide understands that depression, or a deep sadness of the soul, is an enemy that must be battled. We must pray to God for help in battling this enemy.

Then he reminds himself of the truth. He chooses to rejoice because God will rescue him. He can still sing in the sadness because God has been good. God is good!

David relies on the truth he already has learned about God. God can be trusted to rescue him even if in the moment he feels forgotten.

David has learned that no matter what life may look like today God can be trusted to show His unfailing love and goodness in the midst of it all.

David relies on truth not emotions. Sometimes that is hard because emotions seem real, but we must take our feelings to God and allow Him to speak truth into them.  May he be our example in those moments we might feel forgotten and alone.

 

Thank you, God, for this reminder today. I can trust in Your goodness and unfailing love. Help me to focus on Your truth when the lies of the enemy come. Amen

Trust God, Not Man

 It is better to trust in the LORD than to put confidence in man. Psalm 118:8

When I am at a place of actively trusting the Lord in all things I experience peace. There is a calmness, even in trials, because I know God is good. He will not leave me. I know that He has a plan for my life and I can trust that He will work out all the good, bad, ugly, painful things. 

But, when I forget, and place my confidence in humans I experience anxiety. When I trust in leaders, even Christian leaders, I set myself up to be disappointed. What I mean is, I should be able to trust them, but I must trust with the knowledge that they are fallible. They will disappoint. They will make mistakes. They will sin. They are just like me and capable of all the same failures I am capable of. 

I can, however, trust the God who is at work in them. It always comes back to trust in God. God will work through my failures and sin just as He will those leaders who serve over me. The older I get, and the more I see, I realize that my anxiety is at its worst when I begin to trust in man instead of the God. Instead, I need to trust the God who is at work through them. 

Oh, Father, help us keep our hearts focused on You, and You alone. We pray for our leader and fellow man, that Your purposes will be done in and through them. Father, thank you for Your promises to always be with us. Amen

Calm my Heart, Lord

Father, my heart has been so anxious. Thousands of thoughts run across my mind. The questions and concerns. The what if’s. You hear them all. 

I speak truth. You are there. But I long for healing. I long for answers but none seem to come. At least not the ones I was hoping for. I don’t want to be here, in this place, at this moment. I wonder how long, Oh God, will you wait to return? 

As I cry out to You and voice my troubles, my pain, concerns, and doubts, I know you hear me. I know You are good and have a plan for my life. You are trustworthy. You have it all in your sovereign control. 

Father, thank you calming my anxious thoughts. Thank you for Your peace, comfort and grace. Thank you for restoring my joy in You! 

When We Feel Shriveled Up By Suffering

Though I have become like a wineskin in the smoke, I do not forget Your statutes. Ps 119:83

I have always loved Psalm 119 and as a result have spent much time reading and studying it. This chapter has brought sweet comfort and refreshment to my soul on many occasions. But it never fails that a fresh reading of it will bring something new that I hadn't seen before. Today, while reading I stopped at verse 83 and thought so what happens to a wineskin in smoke? What does the psalmist mean by saying that he has "become like a wineskin in smoke"? 

Here is what I found:

The KJV uses bottle instead of wineskin and has this to say, "As the bottles in the East are made of skin, it is evident that one of these hung up in the smoke must soon be parched, shriveled up, lose all its strength, and become unsightly and useless. Thus the Psalmist appeared to himself to have become useless and despicable, through and exhausted state of his body and mind, by long bodily afflictions and mental distress." (1)

As I read this I couldn't help but remember those times in my life that I too have felt parched, shriveled up, weak and useless. For a variety of reasons, whether it's illness, pain, tragedy, sorrow, or any number of difficult circumstances, the journey of this life can seem to leave us withered and worn. These times can come as a result of God's discipline. It is true that God disciplines us for good and our suffering comes in order to produce endurance and character (Romans 5:3-5). But it doesn't always seem like it's for our good and we feel as if we are being dried up. 

So it's in the midst of feeling dried up and useless that we can say, "even though I feel like I am being shriveled up and weak I will not forget Your word. I will not forget your truth." I love Keble's paraphrase, "The severity of the discipline does not alienate me from thee, or cause me to depart from thy Law."  And then there is Matthew Poole's Commentary which says, "My natural moisture is dried and burnt up; I am withered and deformed, and despised; and my case grows worse and worse..." (2) but I do not forget Your word.  

Today regardless of where we are in this journey may we remember that our strength comes from the truth of His word. May we be reminded that in His word we find comfort. No matter how "parched or shriveled" you may feel do not depart from what you know is true according the the Word of God.

(1) http://biblehub.com/psalms/119-83.htm

(2) http://biblehub.com/commentaries/psalms/119-83.htm



Joining these blog hops today...

Hope For The Dry Soul

I love it when God begins to speak a message into your heart. A message of truth. A needed reminder. A message that begins to seep into the dried, cracked places of your soul and begins to awaken seeds that have been laying dormant ready to flourish.

 The interesting thing about this particular message, and possibly every message we hear, is that it's not anything profoundly new. It is simply a message of truth that comes together and awakens us to be reminded of what has been forgotten. (Because we are a forgetful people and need the constant reminders.)

So this message from God began as I sat in worship services this past weekend and scribbled this note, "we can read and pray all we want but, unless we believe, it will not help in those times of dryness, isolation, and feelings of hopelessness. We need to cry out, "Lord, help me believe!""

Then in my reading time I read John 6:44 which reminded me that no one can come to Jesus unless the Father draws him. In other words there is nothing I can do to make me want or believe Jesus. I just can't muster up anything to make myself  grow, change, pray, read my Bible etc. If it is dependent upon my will and want to it's just not going to happen and I am going to stay right where I am. I will forever wander in a dry, isolated, hopeless place. 

Even as I read Psalms 107 this week I was reminded that it is He that satisfies my soul. He will fill me with what is good. He leads and delivers me. He is the one that brings me our of darkness and it is His word that heals me. (verses 6,9,14,20)

My only hope is to cry out to the Father and pray, "Lord, draw me closer to You that I might know You! Fill my soul with a desire to follow You! Lead me! Heal me! Change me! Help me believe!" 

As I reflected on these truths this morning I was reminded that those times when reading and praying seem dry and unhelpful perhaps even hopeless I need to cry out to my Father and ask Him to draw me into His word so that I might know Him. Sometimes, okay maybe a lot of times, I come to God in my quite time expecting to "get" something instead of just coming in order that I might know Him.

 I don't always know what I am looking to get out of my time with God but maybe it's not about me anyway and it's simply about drawing closer to My Father. 

Father draw me closer to You. Help me in those areas of unbelief and allow the truth of who You are flow deep down into my heart in order that I might live it out. Satisfy my soul with all of who You are and fill it good so that I might know you in a greater way. Amen.

Psalm 99 - Holy is He

The Lord reigns

He is enthroned

The Lord is great

He is exalted 

His name is great and awesome

Holy is He

He loves justice

He is fair and impartial

Exalt the Lord and worship Him

Holy is He

The Lord answers prayers

He speaks to His people

He is forgiving

He punishes the sinner

Exalt the Lord and worship Him

Holy is the Lord our God!

Written from Psalms 99

God Sees My Affliction

I love to read the Psalms. It’s here that I best understand the reality of suffering. Many of us walk through hard, difficult things in life. Some have seasons of sufferings while others seem to live a life of chronic suffering. Suffering comes in many forms. We suffer through losses of loved ones, pregnancies, jobs, relationships and more. We suffer physically through chronic pain, illnesses and just growing older and our body not working like it used to. We suffer mentally, even though many don’t admit it, we suffer through depression, anxieties, and many other forms of mental illnesses. And we also suffer because of sin. We suffer because of our own sin and it’s consequences. We suffer because of other’s sin and being sinned against. The reality is, we all suffer.

Life on this earth is not easy, at least for the majority of people. David is a good reminder of this reality. David was chosen by God to be King. He had a heart that followed God. And yet, he still sinned and paid deeply for those sins. He was hated and chased down by his enemies, betrayed by one he thought was his friend. He felt abandoned both by people and at times God. David struggled with deep sadness and some might even say depression. His heart was grieved and broken, not just over his sin but over his life’s circumstances. He grew tired and weary from the constant battles of this life.

The last couple of days I’ve been in Psalm 30 and 31 and here are just a few samples of what David was feeling. He was near the pit of hell. (30:3,9) He cried and was in deep grief and sorrow. (30:5; 31:9) He felt weak, and a reproach to those around him. He was an object of dread, and felt forgotten, broken, lied about, terror, and feared for his life. (31:10-13) David, at least in my reading of this, was not in a good place. As I read these words today they brought such sweet encouragement because I knew then that God really did understand my times of deep sadness. God understands the season that I walk through mild depression and being fearful.

God sees me, just like he saw David.  And just like David I can choose to rejoice in the fact that God does see me. He may not remove that which I am currently facing, he may not remove my affliction but I can still choose to focus on the fact of who God is. (31:7-8)

David chose to believe and trust in the God he knew God to be. Instead of looking at his life and the enemy of this world and his flesh David choose to walk in the truth of a God that would deliver him. David’s response to suffering was remembering who God is. Oh how I needed this reminder too! It doesn’t matter how I feel or what painful experiences I am currently walking through, what does matter is whether or not I believe in who God says He is!

The whole of God’s word tells of who He is but just in Psalms 31 I am reminded today that He will deliver me. He hears me. He is my stronghold, my rock and fortress. He will lead me, guide me and keep me safe. He is my strength. He gives me grace. He is trustworthy. He is good and His loving kindness is mine. Wow, what amazing truth in that one chapter! Truth that we can hold on to and believe. Truth that gives hope. Truth that gives courage to face today and all the tomorrows no matter what may come.


I am so grateful for His words. I am grateful that God chose to include David’s life for us to read. I get David, I understand the soul the that cries out in deep sadness and yet chooses to believe and trust in the God he knows. Of course I often forget, I fail and get lost but when I return to God’s word He is so gracious to remind me of who He is and when I remember who He is my soul, once again find hope in the Lord.

His Goodness in Times of Trouble

There is much heartache and trouble in this world. It comes to us in so many forms and for many reasons. The bottom line is that we have troubles because sin entered the world long ago. Adam and Eve disobeyed God and since that time there has been all kinds of suffering. All of creation suffers and groans because of sin.

It is because of the sinfulness of man that wars are started. It is because of sin that spouses are not content and commit adultery. It is because of the sinful desires in our hearts that we hate, envy, murder, lie, steal, are unkind, lack compassion and are selfish. A sinful heart causes a man to hit his wife, a child to rebel against his parents and woman to abort her child. Because of sin we break our covenant and divorce our spouse. Because of sin there is all kinds of suffering in this world.

We have troubles because we do not obey God. We do not obey God because our heart is deceitfully wicked all the time. Our hearts desire what is wants, when it wants it regardless of what God has said is good.

So is there any hope? Is there hope for the believer of Christ? Of course there is hope! David, in Psalm 27, reminds us that we do not need to fear, we can be confident in the One who will rescue us. Yes we will be rescued from the  troubles on this earth one day when Christ returns, but I also believe that David is telling us that we can also see the goodness of the Lord today. We can have hope in the midst of troubles. We do not need to fear.

To have hope, to see God’s goodness in times of trouble we need to…

…seek Him. We need to worship God, meditate on His word and sing praises to Him. (Ps 27:4-6)
…pray. Cry out to the One who does not abandon you, to the One who promises to help you. (27:7-10)
…walk in humility. Be teachable through the Spirit of God. Submit to His word, to His will. (27:11)
…wait. If we seek Him, pray and are willing to submit to His will then we must wait for the Lord to show us what to do next. It is the strong heart, who seeks the face of God, that can humbly wait. (27:14)

Just to be clear though, we can seek God, pray, walk in humility, wait upon Him and still have troubles. We will still experience suffering, pain and evil in this land. The difference is that the one who seeks God will not be consumed by it. They will remain confident in the Lord, knowing that it is He who will lift us up out of the pit of suffering so that we see His goodness. (Psalms 31:19-24)

Are you in the midst of suffering right now? Does it seem that your whole world is falling apart? Why not spend some time reading Psalm 27 and Psalm 130. Cry out to God. Pour out your heart to Him. Worship Him today through His word in spite of your circumstances, regardless of the pain you are experiencing. He promises to answer the one who truly seeks His face. (Matt 7:7; Deut 4:29; Jer 24:7)

'Then you will call upon Me and come and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. You will seek Me and find Me when you search for Me with all your heart. 'I will be found by you,' … (Jer 29:12-14a)

I am Afflicted and Needy

Let all who seek You rejoice and be glad in You; and let those who love Your salvation say continually, “Let God be magnified.” But I am afflicted and needy; Hasten to me, O God! You are my help and my deliverer; O Lord, do not delay. (Psalm 70:4-5)

I want to be self reliant, to not appear needy. For me to ask for help is difficult especially when it comes to emotional or spiritual help. Actually if I am really honest it’s just any kind of help. In 2005 I was in a car accident and there were those of my friends who wanted to provide a few meals afterwards. I said I was fine; I could manage. I was lying, I could manage, but it was difficult, I was in a lot of pain. In spite of what I said a few friends brought meals anyway. They just didn’t give me a choice. It was such a blessing.

Some may say it’s my pride, and perhaps it is, but somewhere along the line I got the message that needing the help of others was a bad thing. It shows weakness and I didn’t want to appear weak. I don’t want to “have” to need anyone. Most of my life has been lived with an attitude of “ I can do this, I don’t need your help”. Unfortunately this attitude carries over into my relationship with God. I’ve made choices without God because I “can do it” on my own. Yes, I know, pride with a capitol P!

But God, don’t you just love that phrase! BUT GOD! He is unwilling to just let me go. He knows what is best and while I may fight against Him at times He is patiently and lovingly teaching me of my absolute dependency on Him. He is showing me I do need His help and the way He helps us is by sometimes using others.

Since my accident I have lived with chronic pain and today I can rejoice for it. This pain has taught me of my need to rely on God. It has taught me humility. I am afflicted. I am needy. Neither of those are a sign of weakness. In fact they are quite the opposite. I have learned it takes strength to admit that we indeed are weak and in need of help.

Today I still struggle, at times, with asking others for help, but I am learning. However, I can freely admit before God that I am needy. I can not do this thing called life apart from His help. I need Him in every single moment of every single day. As I learn to rely on Him in the moments of life I am able to see in a greater way just how marvelous and wonderful His grace is poured out to me. In fact because I am relying on Him more and more each day I am able to see just how He uses our affliction and neediness to bring glory to Him.

You see, if I get up in the morning, barely able to walk and in great pain, yet do what I am suppose to do and serve those God places in front of me it is because He has given me the grace to do it. He is the one who gets the glory, not me. So while I have not yet arrived in full knowledge I have learned to say along with Paul, “… "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.” 2 Cor 12:9

It is a continued journey of learning, growing and walking in His grace. A grace that gives me what I need in each moment. A grace that strengthens me, His beloved daughter who is afflicted and needy.


Linking up with Grace & Truth and Counting My Blessings

Living in Peace with the World in Unrest

The world is a crazy place theses days. Truthfully it has always been a place of confusion, hate, war and fighting the enemies of God. Somehow we think our time is unique, we think it’s worse than it’s ever been and yet I believe every generation has felt the same way.

It would be so easy to give in to the hysteria of the news and social media when it comes to what is happening or could happen in our world. As I read blog posts, twitter and Facebook statuses of friends I am reminded of just how easy it is to become overwhelmed. We begin to focus on how it all might affect us, our children and our families. We want to lash out against our enemies, build walls of protection and cry out to the authorities to protect us.

It’s true we live in a world today that is hard to know who our enemy is. Are we truly safe in our homes, in the grocery store, at work, at school or even on the playground. When will the next bomb rip apart our security? When will the next terrorist walk into a public place and just start shooting randomly? How can we live in such a time as this without becoming fearful?

This morning I was reminded of truth. I was reminded of the One who is my shield and my refuge. Psalm 2 tells of people, kings and rulers who counsel together against God. They are enemies of God, therefore they are an enemy of God’s people. But God’s response is to laugh and scoff at them. He will deal with them with His righteous anger. He reminds us that He has a plan and that plan began with sending His Son Jesus who is The King. He is King over the earth. (Psalm 2:4-5) Chapters 3 and 4 continue to remind us that God will deal with our enemies. He will “smite them on the cheek” (3:7).
He has a plan for the wicked and He has a plan for the righteous. His plan is Jesus (2:6-9). Jesus will judge His enemies. He will judge those who do not trust in Him. So we need to rest in His sovereign plan no matter how bad it seems in our eyes. We can not see what God sees. We do not know His plans and purposes in allowing evil to continue on this earth. But we can rest assured knowing and trusting that He does have a plan for each of us for all of eternity.

We are not to live in worry or fear but to live in joy and safety. But how are we to live a life of joy and peace in a world gone mad? We are to cry out to God, pray to Him. He will answer the righteous. Know that He is your refuge. He is your shelter. He will protect you. Spend time in His word, meditate on it. Do not trust in the words of man but trust God. Praise Him. Worship Him. These are the things we are to do in place of worry and fear.

This world can be a very scary and uncertain place, but for those who trust in the Lord we can walk in peace instead of fear. In those times when this world begins to overwhelm you and fear begins to rise up why not come and sit before God, read Psalms 2-5 and list all that God promises to do for those who fear His name. Then you can list all that God will do to those who mock His name. Look over your list and ask God for help in those areas that you find it difficult to walk in peace. End your time with Him by praising Him for His purposes and promises of protection for His righteous ones.
From my distress I called upon the LORD; The LORD answered me and set me in a large place. The LORD is for me; I will not fear; What can man do to me? Psalm 118:5-6

The above verse came to mind as I was reading these passages today. We do not need to fear this world or what man may do to us. We need to fear the Lord. To be honest, even if I would be killed tomorrow by some random bullet somewhere I have peace knowing that I will spend eternity in the presence of God. It is the one who does not know God or trust in Him that should fear what man might do.

I know it’s not always an easy place to live, especially when I think of those I love who may not know God but still I need to trust that He is not willing for any to perish and He will not lose even one of those promised to Him.

He Sees Me. I am Known.

Today I want to remind you (and me) that you have not been forgotten. You are not invisible. You have a God who sees you and knows you.  He knows everything about you. He knows your thoughts, desires and He knows the depths of your heart. He sees your past, your present and your future. There is nothing about you that God does not know. There is nothing about you that is hidden from Him. (Psalm 139:2)

And YOU are greatly rejoiced over. You are loved. (Zephaniah 3:17) Even when you were unlovely He called you His Beloved. Even when you were a sinner He died for you. (Roman 5:8 )

I know some days you struggle to remember WHOSE you are and just how much He loves you. There are so many messages that play over and over in your mind. Lies the world has told you. Lies you tell yourself. But that is just it, they are lies. Truth only comes from His words. He can be trusted. He alone speaks the truth of who you are.

Sweet girl I know it’s hard. Oh the lies seem so strong some days telling you that you are not enough, you’ll never be enough. Lies that tell you that you are a failure as a mom, a wife, and a woman. But in those moments you must cling to Jesus and the truth He speaks over you.

You are His. You are loved. You are precious. You are beautiful. You are enough. He loves you. He made you. And there is nothing about you that surprises Him. Nothing. Did you hear that? He created you and knew you before the foundations of the world and He knew who you would be today this very minute and still He choose to die for you. He choose to make you His beloved. (Ps 139:13-14)

So today hold on to truth sweet girl. Hold on to the One who is merciful, loving and faithful toward you. (Ps 86:15) The One whose love toward you is ever lasting. (Jer 31:3)

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I am joining up with these great blogs today.Please feel free to visit them!! Women with Intention and Unite the Bloggershere

Choose to Rejoice!

Today I was reminded of Psalms 118. I do love this chapter! This chapter begins with “Give thanks to the Lord, for His is good; For His lovingkindness is everlasting.” and ends with, “Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good; for His lovingkindness is everlasting.”

The verses in between speak of distress, fear, and suffering and I am reminded that no matter what circumstances I find myself in today that I can rest in the knowledge that God is good. I can rest in His lovingkindness.

There is so much truth packed in this chapter I want to encourage you to read it. Reflection on it. Pray through it. As you do remember that God is good. He is your strength, your salvation. He, The Lord God, has given you light! So today choose to rejoice in Him.

Today, even if nothing else seems to be good, choose to rejoice and be glad because He alone is good.

He Delights in Me!

The steps of the godly are directed by the LORD. He delights in every detail of their lives. Though they stumble, they will not fall, for the LORD holds them by the hand. Psalms 37:23-24 NLT

Oh Father you direct my way. You, not anyone else, knows that path I should walk. You know my purpose. You know the plans You have for me. And Father, You delight in every detail of my life!

Oh how that brings a smile to my face, that you not only know the plans you have for me, but that you delight in those plans. Father help me to come to you for advice, for direction and purpose and not those around me. Help me to seek your wisdom in the path I should choose. And when I stumble Father, I know you will be there, holding on to me so that I don't completely fall.

What a beautiful picture Father! You and I walking hand in hand along the path that You have chosen. As we walk together we are laughing and delighting in one another. You take full pleasure in your daughter!

But there will be times that I  trip over the terrain, but it is alright,  for you still have me by the hand. You will pick me up, brush me off and send me on my way again.

There will be no scolding, just love and delight. Oh Father you fill me up with love when You speak your words to me. Thank you for your faithful watchfulness over me.

A Shelter For My Wandering Heart

His Word

Then I realized how bitter I had become, how pained I had been by all I had seen. I was so foolish and ignorant -- I must have seemed like a senseless animal to you. Yet I still belong to you; you are holding my right hand. You will keep on guiding me with your counsel, leading me to a glorious destiny. Whom have I in heaven but you? I desire you more than anything on earth. My health may fail, and my spirit may grow weak, but God remains the strength of my heart; he is mine forever. But those who desert him will perish, for you destroy those who abandon you. But as for me, how good it is to be near God! I have made the Sovereign LORD my shelter, and I will tell everyone about the wonderful things you do. Ps 73:21-28

My Prayer

 Oh Father in Heaven how my heart aches for You. I look around and see all that is going on and sometimes I am afraid. I too easily think that somehow I can fix things or make them better. How foolish I am when I take my eyes off you. I  forget that You alone are sovereign. You alone hold all things in Your hands. Why do I so easily forget You? My heart is so prone to wander far from you. Help me see You in the everyday, ordinary events of my life. Do not let my heart wander.

 

Help me to offer myself and my life up to You.

Oh Father how I desire to be completely filled up with Your Spirit! Come Spirit of God and fill me! Father help me surrender those places that are still filled with me and my desires. Help me to surrender completely to Your will. Keep my heart still so that I might hear Your Spirit's whisper.

 

Guide me. Teach me. Stretch me. Grow me. Mold me. Remove all that keeps me from you.

Strengthen my heart and mind that I might not turn from You in times of trouble. You alone are my shelter. You hold my life in Your hands. Draw me near Lord. Draw me ever nearer to Your Spirit. Amen

 

 

Image courtesy of Evgeni Dinev at Freedigitalphotos.net

6 Things to Remember When Battling Soul Sadness

The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. –Psalm 34:18
As I sit here trying to decide if I should try to write today I realize that there may be those that need to hear the words that lay heavy on my heart. I’ve been in a place lately of deep sadness, spiritual depression, darkness of the soul or whatever term you want to use.

It’s not a new place, it’s been a life struggle. Today I find myself here again. The dog of depression has been hunting me down for several months now. For the first time in quite some time he has over taken me. I began to recognize it as I realized that my discouragement had gone to depression. Looking back I see that I didn’t fight. I didn’t run. I just sat here, alone, with my thoughts. I didn’t cry out for help. I didn’t pray. I didn’t call a friend for prayer. In fact I just put on my happy face and faked it through the day.
These my friends are deadly to one who is prone to discouragement and depression. We must be brave enough to allow others to walk with us during these times. Even now as I write this I know I should just pick up the phone and let my sister/friends know where I am. Let them know to pray for me.  I know these few friends understand, they know my heart so there is no judgment, only love and grace. But still I hesitate and I don’t even know why. Why is it so hard to pick up a phone and say, “hey I need you, my weakness is showing”?
Why? Because we want to be strong. We have bought into the lie that we have to have it together and we certainly can’t show our weaknesses. It’s just not true. It’s a bald face lie of the worse kind. I hate that I have fallen prey to the lie again. I hate that I have forgotten what I have learned. So as a reminder to myself and to those who might need it today here are a few things I have learned long the way.

Ask Questions. I love to read the Psalms when I am feeling depressed. David understood and he wasn’t afraid to ask questions of God and himself. These were not questions that questioned who God was or what He was doing, but David sought understanding. They were questions that always pointed to the One who would help him.

How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me? How long shall I take counsel in my soul, having sorrow in my heart all the day? Psalm 13:1-2a
Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God,
for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God. Psalm 42:5; 43:5-6

Sing Songs. When we are sad or depressed singing is not something we feel like doing but do it anyway. Put worship music on. Songs that remind you of truth. Songs that point you to His character. A word of cautions here, there are songs that will only make you sadder so be discerning. I always use worship songs, not just any Christian music or artist.

But let all who take refuge in You be glad, Let them ever sing for joy; And may You shelter them, That those who love Your name may exult in You Psalm 5:11
And now my head will be lifted up above my enemies around me, And I will offer in His tent sacrifices with shouts of joy; I will sing, yes, I will sing praises to the LORD . Psalm 27:6
You are my hiding place; you will protect me from trouble and surround me with songs of deliverance. Psalm 32:7
By day the LORD commands his steadfast love, and at night his song is with me, a prayer to the God of my life.” Psalms 42:8

Speak truth to yourself. Read through the Psalms. Read over them and then pray them back to God. Remind yourself of who God is and the promises that are yours. I find that when I am in the midst of depression my thoughts are very dark. They tend to go toward hopelessness, fear and anxiousness so I must be filling my mind with truth. If I can’t then I MUST ask for help and let others speak truth to me. Also, sometimes the truth is that we need medical help. Don’t be afraid to seek the help of a doctor. But I know from experience that medicine is not a cure all, we still must speak truth to ourselves.

Surely goodness and lovingkindness will follow me all the days of my life, And I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever . Psalms 23:6
I will rejoice and be glad in Your lovingkindness, Because You have seen my affliction; You have known the troubles of my soul… Be strong and let your heart take courage, All you who hope in the LORD Psalm 31:7,24
For I hope in You, O LORD; You will answer, O Lord my God. Psalm 38:15

Remember you are not alone. God is with us. He will never leave or forsake us. It is in Him we find our strength, He will be our help. We must also remember that God places His children in our lives to help us too. When we are in darkness we feel alone. We feel isolated from God and our friends, but it’s a lie. I have a friend who has said to me in the past, “if you don’t tell me how will I know? I can’t read your mind”. We must be willing to share our burden with those who love us.

Taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the man who takes refuge in him. Psalm 34:8
Praise be to the Lord, to God our Savior, who daily bears our burdens. Psalm 68:19
My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. Psalm 73:26
For the LORD will not abandon His people, Nor will He forsake His inheritance. Psalm 94:14
My eyes shall be upon the faithful of the land, that they may dwell with me; He who walks in a blameless way is the one who will minister to me. Psalms 101:6

Continue to seek Him. The tendency when we are depressed is to withdraw from God but we must fight it. We must press in hard, go to His word, study it. Keep reading, praying and seeking even if you feel like it’s for naught. God will revive you. He will meet you.

O God, You are my God; I shall seek You earnestly; My soul thirsts for You, my flesh yearns for You, In a dry and weary land where there is no water. Psalm 63:1
The humble have seen it and are glad; You who seek God, let your heart revive. Psalm 69:2
Let all who seek You rejoice and be glad in You; And let those who love Your salvation say continually, "Let God be magnified. Psalm 70:4

Preach the Gospel. This final thought is probably the single most important. We must recognize that there is nothing in us that can help. No matter how hard I try I can not move myself out from under the cloud of darkness. I can put on a happy face but it will not help the state of my soul.
Only God’s grace can move me from sadness to joy again. We are reminded in Psalm 44:6-7 that our “bow” or “sword” can not save us only God can. I am weak and unable to save myself. But God can and will save me. He came down from heaven to save me! He will deliver me! My hope and joy rest in Him alone!
This is preaching the gospel to yourself every day; knowing you can not do it, but Christ can and will. I am weak but He is strong and will strengthen me. His grace is sufficient in our weakness.My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness. "Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me.” 2 Cor 12:9

He will send from heaven and save me; He reproaches him who tramples upon me. Selah. God will send forth His lovingkindness and His truth. Psalm 57:3

Disclaimer: Depression can be a serious condition and you may need to seek medical help. Please know that it’s okay. It does not show a lack of faith or trust in God. Depression is not sin, although it can be caused by it.  Depression can also be caused by a chemical imbalance or side effects of other medicines. So if you are experiencing suicidal thoughts, feel like you want to harm yourself or can’t seem to even get out of bed please seek medical attention.

He Gives Grace and Glory

This is part of the 2014 31 day writing  challenge over at the Nesting Place. It’s my first year in joining along and I am praying I can keep up even though I am already behind!!

I love this Psalm. The picture it paints in my heart is one of beauty, grace and encouragement. It is my prayer. My hearts cry. Oh how I long for His dwelling places. To be in a place of His purposes. How I yearn to be in His presence.

How lovely are Your dwelling places, O LORD of hosts! My soul longed and even yearned for the courts of the LORD…For a day in Your courts is better than a thousand outside. I would rather stand at the threshold of the house of my God Than dwell in the tents of wickedness. For the LORD God is a sun and shield; The LORD gives grace and glory; No good thing does He withhold from those who walk uprightly.  O LORD of hosts, How blessed is the man who trusts in You!

Be encouraged dear one, no matter where you are today or what you are going through it is the Lord that gives us grace. He promises grace to those whose walk is upright.

 

Join me for 31 Days of Seeking Grace

The Reality is…

My soul clings to the dust; give me life according to your word! When I told of my ways, you answered me; teach me your statutes! Make me understand the way of your precepts, and I will meditate on your wondrous works. My soul melts away for sorrow; strengthen me according to your word! Put false ways far from me and graciously teach me your law! I have chosen the way of faithfulness; I set your rules before me. I cling to your testimonies, O LORD; let me not be put to shame! I will run in the way of your commandments when you enlarge my heart! Teach me, O LORD, the way of your statutes; and I will keep it to the end. Give me understanding, that I may keep your law and observe it with my whole heart. Lead me in the path of your commandments, for I delight in it. Psalms 119:25-35

 

I love this part of Psalms 119. In many ways it’s the cry of my heart right now. This very moment.

I want to cling to God so that every word that comes from my mouth is His. I want to live in a way that shows His faithful in my life. Oh how I want to follow Him in all I do and go in the path He has chosen.

But the reality is…

My flesh battles within me and I so often give in. I can get lazy and not spend time in the Word like I know I should. Like I need. I want to be faithful to my God but too often I am faithless. I chose my own way instead of His way. The reality is I still have a lot of growing to do. I still have much learning when it come to the things of God. There are moments in my life that are messy. I can become overwhelmed and fearful.

BUT GOD remains faithful. God remains the same. These things I desire He will work out in me. He is the one that teaches me, gives me understanding and helps me stay on the path of faithfulness. I delight in His Word because He places that desire in me. I am nothing without Him.

Thank you Father for your work in me, for the desires you place within my heart. Amen.

When the Day is Hard

Some days are just hard aren’t they? For a myriad of reasons there are just days that seem to drain us emotionally. We could be facing the death of a loved one, a prodigal child, financial loss, a painful relationship, betrayal of friends or loved ones and the list could go on and on. Or you could just be having a rather ordinary day that seems hard due to chronic pain, lack of sleep, sickness and so many other physical things that often come upon us.

Lately my life has seemed really hard. It’s hard to get up in the morning. Hard to do what must be done. I am tired, really tired, of chronic pain. I don’t write much about it because I don’t want you to think I am whining, or complaining. I know that others face far greater pain than I. So on most days I just “suck it up” and plow through my day. I do what must be done. Sure pain meds help, but so often that adds a whole list of other issues too. So it’s a battle of just how much pain can I tolerate before giving in and “popping a pill.”

But I get tired of “sucking it up”. I get tired of the doctor’s visits, meds, and once again lets try physical therapy. I get tired of having to pretend I am fine because there are those who don’t understand. After all, you look, fine on the outside. Besides, you get tired of trying to explain that “just because I’m having a hard day and my pain levels might be very high I am not falling apart spiritually.” I mean seriously, my faith and trust isn’t that fragile! Or my personal favorite, “but I’ve been praying, why are you still living with pain?” Sigh, that would take another post to fully answer but let’s just say that for these responses it’s sometimes just easier to pretend and say I am doing “just fine”

It is my faith that holds me together. It’s my trust in the One who sees me and understands that keeps me strong. Today has been hard. I cried all the way home from another doctors visit. I felt weak because my pain caused tears. I should be stronger and yet I was reminded that my trust is in Jesus. He is my deliverer, He is my strength. When I got home God took me to Psalms 56 where it begins with a reminder that even though I might battle all day with pain I can put my trust in God whose words I will praise.

David’s battle was with an enemy, my battle is chronic pain, your battle may be something entirely different. Regardless, we can trust in Him, the One who is worthy of our praise. The Psalm ends with these words, “For You have delivered my soul from death, Indeed my feet from stumbling, so that I may walk before God in the light of the living.” Regardless of kind of day it is I know He will deliver me through it, He will keep me from stumbling so that my walk before Him stays pure and right.

Oh, and right in the middle of Psalms 56 we are reminded that the tears we cry are collected by God. Ours tears are in His book. He knew before time the tears I would cry. He knew the pain and sorrow I would face. He knew my body would feel far older than it is. Could He heal me? Absolutely! But He chooses not to, at least not at this point. Why? I don’t know. Maybe to teach me endurance, or to keep me relying upon Him? There could be many reasons, but I don’t need to know them. I only need to press in and praise Him in the midst of pain. That’s where faith and trust is most evident, to be able to sing His praises regardless of the kind of day you are having.

So today my friend look to Him and walk through the day, not because you have to “suck it up” but because you are resting in Him. Sing praises to Him because He is the God Almighty and worthy to be praised. And be reminded that He sees where you are today even if no one else does and He alone promises to strengthen you.

He Cares For Your Soul

I love how God brings reminders of truth to us just when we need it. God brought Psalm 142:4 across my path today which says, “Look to the right and see ; For there is no one who regards me; There is no escape for me; No one cares for my soul.”  and I had to go look it up.

Who was speaking? Why was he feeling that no one cares for his soul? What did he do? What did God do? These are the questions that ran through my mind.

Psalm 146 is a prayer that was prayed by David when he was in a cave trying to hide from Saul. David was being pursued by Saul whose intentions were to harm him. I can only imagine how alone he may have felt.

Saul was once a friend who now sought to kill him. It’s one thing to be hated by an enemy who is a stranger, but to have a friend turn on him must have been hard.

Psalm 142 says, “I cry aloud with my voice to the LORD; I make supplication with my voice to the LORD.  I pour out my complaint before Him; I declare my trouble before Him.  When my spirit was overwhelmed within me, You knew my path. In the way where I walk They have hidden a trap for me.  Look to the right and see ; For there is no one who regards me; There is no escape for me; No one cares for my soul.  I cried out to You, O LORD; I said, "You are my refuge, My portion in the land of the living. "Give heed to my cry, For I am brought very low; Deliver me from my persecutors, For they are too strong for me.  "Bring my soul out of prison, So that I may give thanks to Your name; The righteous will surround me, For You will deal bountifully with me."   

I can feel the emotions of David as he cries out to God. I have been in places where I felt overwhelmed, trapped, and felt the there was no one who cares for my soul. But I am encouraged by David’s reminder that in those times we can take comfort in knowing God sees us, God is our refuge, He hears us and will deliver us.

So may we cry out with David to God in those times that we are troubled in mind, body, or soul and pray this prayer and be comforted by a God who will care for our soul.