I love it when God begins to speak a message into your heart. A message of truth. A needed reminder. A message that begins to seep into the dried, cracked places of your soul and begins to awaken seeds that have been laying dormant ready to flourish.
The interesting thing about this particular message, and possibly every message we hear, is that it's not anything profoundly new. It is simply a message of truth that comes together and awakens us to be reminded of what has been forgotten. (Because we are a forgetful people and need the constant reminders.)
So this message from God began as I sat in worship services this past weekend and scribbled this note, "we can read and pray all we want but, unless we believe, it will not help in those times of dryness, isolation, and feelings of hopelessness. We need to cry out, "Lord, help me believe!""
Then in my reading time I read John 6:44 which reminded me that no one can come to Jesus unless the Father draws him. In other words there is nothing I can do to make me want or believe Jesus. I just can't muster up anything to make myself grow, change, pray, read my Bible etc. If it is dependent upon my will and want to it's just not going to happen and I am going to stay right where I am. I will forever wander in a dry, isolated, hopeless place.
Even as I read Psalms 107 this week I was reminded that it is He that satisfies my soul. He will fill me with what is good. He leads and delivers me. He is the one that brings me our of darkness and it is His word that heals me. (verses 6,9,14,20)
My only hope is to cry out to the Father and pray, "Lord, draw me closer to You that I might know You! Fill my soul with a desire to follow You! Lead me! Heal me! Change me! Help me believe!"
As I reflected on these truths this morning I was reminded that those times when reading and praying seem dry and unhelpful perhaps even hopeless I need to cry out to my Father and ask Him to draw me into His word so that I might know Him. Sometimes, okay maybe a lot of times, I come to God in my quite time expecting to "get" something instead of just coming in order that I might know Him.
I don't always know what I am looking to get out of my time with God but maybe it's not about me anyway and it's simply about drawing closer to My Father.
Father draw me closer to You. Help me in those areas of unbelief and allow the truth of who You are flow deep down into my heart in order that I might live it out. Satisfy my soul with all of who You are and fill it good so that I might know you in a greater way. Amen.