I am a Mess, but I am Not Falling Apart

I get discouraged.

I get angry.

I get frustrated.

I have moments of envy and jealousy.

I sometimes speak before thinking.

I can be judgmental, critical and a bit too sarcastic.

I can think too much of myself.

I am often a mess emotionally.

I struggle with my what my flesh wants.

But, I have not lost my faith.

I am not falling apart.

My world may seem out of control.

I have doubts.

I say the wrong things.

I have a lot of questions.

And very few answers.

I do not have “it all together.”

You may not understand me.

You may not even like me.

You may have given up on me.

I have not lost my faith.

I am not falling apart.

I know that...

God is real.

He is who He says He is.

The Bible is true.

Jesus died for me.

He is full of love and grace.

He never changes.

His Spirit is at work in me.

I learn to surrender more each day.

To rest in His presence.

To be obedient to His will.

I am His beloved child.

He will never leave or forsake me.

I am learning to walk in His grace.

This is why, in the midst of pain, sorrow and the messiness of life I have not lost faith.

This is why, I when fail or fall, I do not fall completely apart.

"For I am the LORD your God, who upholds your right hand, Who says to you, 'Do not fear, I will help you.'” Is 41:13

An Ordinary Life

Life, at times can seem rather ordinary.

We have not been called to do grand things for God.

Our purpose does not seem extraordinary.

Our purpose feels so small. Insignificant.

No one sees. No one hears.

We are not changing the world.

Not even one heart. So it seems.

Instead our days are filled with crying children.

Filled with long days and sleepless nights.

A friend calls, we speak words of truth.

We encourage a broken heart.

Mending scraped knees and read stories.

Our world seems filled with the mundane.

We comfort those mourning a loss.

Take a meal to the sick.

We hold the hand of a dying friend.

We cry, laugh and live an ordinary life.

An ordinary life filled with soccer and ballet.

A life filled with grocery list, house cleaning

and cooking yet another meal.

It's an ordinary life.

We struggle with purpose, significance.

The lies of the enemy.

Lies that tell us we have no value.

We aren't enough.

Lies that tell us ordinary is somehow wrong.

It is weak.

It's in the ordinary life that God uses to minister.

It's the ordinary life, serving an extraordinary God ,

that changes the world one heart at a time.

God calls the ordinary to pour out their life and

heart in service to Him.

God uses the ordinary life to make disciples.

Why do we seek to be more than ordinary?

It’s the ordinary life God uses to be His hands and feet.

Lies

Lies easily believed, easily spoken.

We hear them through various media, friends, family and strangers.

We hear them at church and in our own minds.

Lies spoken tell us we are worthless, unloved, and alone.

They speak words that tell us we are not enough.

Lies fill our minds rendering us useless over their power.

 

Lies make us fearful.

Afraid to believe in hope, faith and the power that sets us free.

Afraid to try again after another failure.

 

Lies are spoken by our enemy.

An enemy who desires to discourage and destroy.

An enemy who desires to keep us from truth.

 

Truth sets us free.

Jesus is the truth that sets us free.

Jesus came that you might have abundant life.

 

Freedom is knowing truth.

The truth of who you are in Christ because of the cross.

The truth that His written word speaks truth.

 

Jesus calls you friend.

All who believe on Him are pure, holy, righteous and beloved.

Jesus says all that believe upon Him is saved.

 

Lies of the enemy who seeks to destroy you.

Truth of the One who came to set you free.

Who will you believe? The choice is yours.

A Lament

My heart is heavy.

Grief rises up and threatens to overwhelm me.

I want to gather you in my arms

and whisper words of truth.

Words of healing.

Words of love.

You do not listen.

You have been deceived.

Deceived by the lies of the world.

The enemy.

You chase after your own desires.

You chase after emptiness.

You have bought into the lies.

The lies that say…

Do what feels good.

Do what is right in your own eyes.

It’s not your fault you were born that way.

So many voices, so many lies.

 

But you are not happy.

You cry yourself to sleep.

You drown out the pain with parties,

drinking and lovers.

You are chasing dreams

only to find that they elude you.

You find that your dreams do not bring you

the happiness you seek.

My heart breaks as I watch you struggle in your sin.

Making choices that will only bring more pain.

You choose to live in the wilderness of the world.

A world that offers no hope, no love.

Only sorrow, pain and death.

 

Oh my dear one can you not see?

Can you not understand that you walk in darkness?

Will you not heed my warning?

When will you grow weary of your sin?

How far into the darkness must you walk

before you see truth.

Oh child how I long for you to take my hand

and allow me to lead you to the ONE that offers peace.

He waits for you. He died for you.

He alone can fill your emptiness.

He stands willing to give you grace, love,

mercy, hope and so much more.

His love will fill you to overflowing

and you will have a joy this world can never know.

He offers you life. A life of joy.

A life of sweet amazing grace.

He offers forgiveness.

He offers Himself.

It’s all yours.

You only need to believe.

To have faith.

Reach out and take His hand

Take His gift.

His gift of grace.

The gift of eternal salvation.

The gift of truth.

 

Can you hear my heart breaking?

Oh how I long to take you to Jesus!

But you are blinded by the lies of this world.

I will not lose hope.

I will speak truth into your heart.

I will love you, pray for you

and maybe one day you will believe.

"Jerusalem, Jerusalem, who kills the prophets and stones those who are sent to her! How often I wanted to gather your children together, the way a hen gathers her chicks under her wings, and you were unwilling . Matt 23:27

Note: This is was originally posted in 2011 but it continues to be the cry of my heart for those that are dear to my heart and yet do not know the saving grace of our Lord Jesus Christ. I will continue to pray, continue to speak truth, but most of all I can trust in my Father who longs to gather them unto Himself.