Calm my Heart, Lord

Father, my heart has been so anxious. Thousands of thoughts run across my mind. The questions and concerns. The what if’s. You hear them all. 

I speak truth. You are there. But I long for healing. I long for answers but none seem to come. At least not the ones I was hoping for. I don’t want to be here, in this place, at this moment. I wonder how long, Oh God, will you wait to return? 

As I cry out to You and voice my troubles, my pain, concerns, and doubts, I know you hear me. I know You are good and have a plan for my life. You are trustworthy. You have it all in your sovereign control. 

Father, thank you calming my anxious thoughts. Thank you for Your peace, comfort and grace. Thank you for restoring my joy in You! 

3 Things We Need When Our Emotions Can't Be Trusted

Last night, before the service began, a flashback came to my mind. Where it came from, I do not know. There didn't seem to be anything that triggered it. Unfortunately, it's not uncommon. Too often, out of nowhere, images play across my mind that I wish would stay buried. In the past, a trigger like this would cause hours, or days, of wrong thinking, eventually sending me toward darkness. It would often end in depression. The images were powerful, filled with so much shame and accusations. But God continues to heal, to teach and to help me battle those flashbacks. He helps me bring them back to the foot of the cross where they belong. It lasted for only seconds. Thank God for His daily grace and mercy in my life. I could now sit and listen to His word being taught without shame being whispered in my ear. At the end of the sermon, a quote by Chuck Swindoll was shared that said, "For faith to replace fears, steer clear of naysayers.*" In other words, stay away from those who influence you to draw away from God. Be careful whom you give access to speak into your heart and life. You do not want to surround yourself with those who will not point you to Christ. Then, a thought entered my mind, "What if you are the naysayer?" What if you are the one who speaks lies to yourself? What if you continue to believe, and dwell on the lies the enemy whispers into your heart? Immediately, I thought back to what happened right before the sermon and thought, "We take it back to the cross." You see, we cannot always be trusted to know if we are believing a lie or not. Our hearts and minds have all kinds of emotions going on that just can't be trusted typically. So, we need help. I believe that help comes in three ways: 1) We need to go before the cross. It's here that we are reminded of who we were. We are reminded of our sin which required Jesus to die in our place. We are reminded of the Gospel. We are reminded that Jesus died for our sins and was raised again so that we might have victory. Victory over sin, shame, flashbacks, and lies. At the cross, we are reminded that the same power that raised Jesus is the same power at work in us. 2) We need to be in His Word, the Bible. We need to read, study and meditate on the word of God. The actual Bible, not books written about it. Without the truths written in His word, we cannot distinguish the truth from lies. We cannot know God, the One true God of the Bible. 3) We need friends who know Jesus. We need friends who will always point us back to the truth, to Jesus when we have forgotten. When we can't see the truth we need those around us who can. We do not need "naysayers" who agree with us or tell us what we want to hear. We need those willing to "hurt" us with the truth. Friends, I do not always get this right but I am so grateful that God does not give up on me. No matter how stubborn I can be, no matter how often I forget, He is always there to point me in the way I should go.

* Swindoll, Charles R. Insights on Mark. Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., 2016. page 140

I am Afflicted and Needy

Let all who seek You rejoice and be glad in You; and let those who love Your salvation say continually, “Let God be magnified.” But I am afflicted and needy; Hasten to me, O God! You are my help and my deliverer; O Lord, do not delay. (Psalm 70:4-5)

I want to be self reliant, to not appear needy. For me to ask for help is difficult especially when it comes to emotional or spiritual help. Actually if I am really honest it’s just any kind of help. In 2005 I was in a car accident and there were those of my friends who wanted to provide a few meals afterwards. I said I was fine; I could manage. I was lying, I could manage, but it was difficult, I was in a lot of pain. In spite of what I said a few friends brought meals anyway. They just didn’t give me a choice. It was such a blessing.

Some may say it’s my pride, and perhaps it is, but somewhere along the line I got the message that needing the help of others was a bad thing. It shows weakness and I didn’t want to appear weak. I don’t want to “have” to need anyone. Most of my life has been lived with an attitude of “ I can do this, I don’t need your help”. Unfortunately this attitude carries over into my relationship with God. I’ve made choices without God because I “can do it” on my own. Yes, I know, pride with a capitol P!

But God, don’t you just love that phrase! BUT GOD! He is unwilling to just let me go. He knows what is best and while I may fight against Him at times He is patiently and lovingly teaching me of my absolute dependency on Him. He is showing me I do need His help and the way He helps us is by sometimes using others.

Since my accident I have lived with chronic pain and today I can rejoice for it. This pain has taught me of my need to rely on God. It has taught me humility. I am afflicted. I am needy. Neither of those are a sign of weakness. In fact they are quite the opposite. I have learned it takes strength to admit that we indeed are weak and in need of help.

Today I still struggle, at times, with asking others for help, but I am learning. However, I can freely admit before God that I am needy. I can not do this thing called life apart from His help. I need Him in every single moment of every single day. As I learn to rely on Him in the moments of life I am able to see in a greater way just how marvelous and wonderful His grace is poured out to me. In fact because I am relying on Him more and more each day I am able to see just how He uses our affliction and neediness to bring glory to Him.

You see, if I get up in the morning, barely able to walk and in great pain, yet do what I am suppose to do and serve those God places in front of me it is because He has given me the grace to do it. He is the one who gets the glory, not me. So while I have not yet arrived in full knowledge I have learned to say along with Paul, “… "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.” 2 Cor 12:9

It is a continued journey of learning, growing and walking in His grace. A grace that gives me what I need in each moment. A grace that strengthens me, His beloved daughter who is afflicted and needy.


Linking up with Grace & Truth and Counting My Blessings

When Shame Speaks My Name

There are moments that all I seem to be able to remember are the names of the past. Names that whisper over me to remind me of who I was.

Stupid. UNLOVABLE. Clumsy.  ABANDONED. Ugly. UNWANTED. Invisible. UNWORTHY. Dirty. SHAMEFUL. Hateful. ALONE. Sinner.

These are the words, the emotions that plagued my life, my heart. These are the words I would repeat over and over in my head.

Words that expressed who I was. Who I thought I was. Who I was told I was. And sometimes names I still believe describe who I am. Names the enemy loves to taunt me with even today as I write this. I live so often in bondage to shamed-filled thinking. I filter everything through shame.

Today though I will choose to remember that Jesus came. He came to give me a new name. He gave me a new identity. A new life.

And oh what a marvelous name it is!  A beautiful name.

He calls me BELOVED.

And because of Jesus I am very much loved. I am WORTHY. He finds me BEAUTIFUL. I am no longer condemned. I am FORGIVEN.

I am never abandoned for He is always with me. I am WORTHY because of Him. I’ve been made CLEAN. I am RIGHTEOUS. He sees me. Watches over me. He cares about every part of my life.

Because of who He is and because He lives in me I am a new creation. The person who was is no more. She dies daily as Jesus continues to renew a holy, perfect spirit within me.

I wish I didn’t have to be reminded of who I am, I wish I could just rest in the truth of whose I am. Sometimes it seems I need a daily reminder. I forget so easily.

But this I know, He continues to work in me in this area. One day I know I will really, really get it. I will “get it” into the depths of my heart and soul. Then shame will no longer have such power over me. But until then, I am thankful that Jesus never tires of reminding me. He never tires of the sanctification process in this area of my life.  I can run to Him at anytime and He gently whispers in my heart the names He has given me.

My dear friend if you also find yourself mired in shame then let me speak these truths over you. Say them out loud. Choose to believe the truth as these words filter down into the depths of your heart. Then choose to walk in them today.

God says, “My precious daughter you are my beloved.”

So, as those who have been chosen of God, holy and beloved… Col 3:12

As He says also in Hosea, "I WILL CALL THOSE WHO WERE NOT MY PEOPLE, 'MY PEOPLE,' AND HER WHO WAS NOT BELOVED, 'BELOVED … Rom 9:25

How precious also are Your thoughts to me, O God ! How vast is the sum of them! Ps 139:17

"The LORD has today declared you to be His people, a treasured possession, as He promised you, and that you should keep all His commandments; Duet 26:18

"My delight is in her... For the LORD delights in you" Is 62:

And truly dear friend, He does delight in you!! Now go and walk in the knowledge of whose you are and how much He loves you.

When Shame Speaks

It was a beautiful day, and as I sat there watching my youngest granddaughter I couldn’t help but feel blessed. I have a good life, I have four beautiful grandchildren and a family who loves me.  Oh sure there have been hard roads, painful memories, but God has been faithful to see me through them. He has used them to grow and teach me. And in this moment I was content. My heart was filled with joy, love, and an overwhelming sense of gratefulness.

But it was in that very moment I felt the darkness in the pit of my stomach. I physically felt sick. As I sat there the darkness grew to the point that I was overcome by it. I tried to stop it but it was strong, too strong. He had been apart of me for far too long. This time I could feel the strength of his lies. He wrapped himself around my heart and mind until he had his death grip on me.
This darkness has a name. I know him all too well. He is called shame.

Shame knows all about me. He knows the evil that lies within me. The sins I have committed. The lies I have told. Shame knows what I am capable of doing. He knows the monster that I could be. He knows I am not who others think I am. He knows that I am not enough. He knows the darkness and depravity of my heart and the thoughts that so often race through my mind. And shame’s only purpose is to remind me of all these things.

Shame speaks lies. He knows no truth. Or perhaps the better way to say that. is he knows the truth of the past, he knows what’s been done and will use it to remind me. But he forgets I know the truth too. I know the truth of who I am. I know the truth of who he is and even more, I know the truth of who God is.

Shame is my accuser. Shame is my enemy. Shame is what Satan uses as he stands before God and accuses me. He reminds God that I am filthy. I am unworthy. And to be honest, at times it feels as if he has won. It feels as if I stand condemned. It feels as if I am the worst sinner ever.

The truth is that Jesus stands between my accuser and me. Jesus rejects the enemy’s accusations. He paid the blood price for those sins that Satan now accuses me with. Jesus covers me in grace and mercy. Satan does not have any power over me, for Jesus defeated Him already.

I am reminded that Jesus has taken away my sins. I am free. I have a new heart and mind. The Father sees Jesus when He sees me.  God sees the blood of Jesus that has covers my sins. I am His precious child who is no longer accused. I can now walk in righteousness. I now have God’s Spirit in me. I have the Spirit’s power.

So sweet child, stop listening to the lies of shame. Shame only has the power over you if you allow it. Do not fear your enemy called shame, rebuke him in Jesus name and he will flee. And beloved, if ever you feel like you can’t fight him, just call out the name of Jesus for He am always with you and the power of His name will cause your enemy to flee.

I wish this scenario didn’t happen as often as it does, but I struggle more often than I care to admit with shame based thinking. But the joy…the grace…the encouragement is this,  Each time I struggle the struggle is less. Each time shame comes I grow, heal and learn to run to Jesus. And those times I find it exceptionally hard I humble myself and ask for help. I cry out to Jesus and ask for prayers and words of truth from trusted friends.

Zach 3:1-6; Eph 1:7; John 3:18, 8:36; Luke 10:17; 2 Cor 6:11; Rom 8:1

If you are struggling with shame and want to learn more I encourage you to read these two articles that I recently read and found very helpful

Living at the Cross of Jesus

I want to awaken each morning and fall at the cross of Jesus. At the cross is the only place that I can remember what a great sinner I am and what a great Savior I have. To begin each day at the cross is where truly humility is evidenced by Jesus coming down to earth in the form of man so that He could take my sins upon Himself and pay the penalty of death that should be mine to pay.

The cross is a beautiful picture of humility, suffering and grace. I want to embrace it anew each morning so that I will be reminded of the gospel, what it means, what it cost and that I need to walk in it. But I don’t want to stay there, I want to then look to the empty tomb where there is grace.

You see, if I begin each day at the cross how can I possibly think more highly of myself than I ought? How can I not be humbled? But even more so, how can I not walk in a humble gracefulness that then preaches the gospel to myself and to others?

The truth is though, I will fail every single day. I will sin against God and against others. My pride, selfishness, insecurities, fear and so many other sins of my flesh will cause hurt toward God and others. But if I am living at the foot of the cross, remembering I am a sinner and then looking to the empty tomb and beyond to the One who already paid the price, I will walk in grace and not shame.

And this is where I want to live. I want to live at the cross so that I might look beyond it toward the resurrection and walk in the freedom of grace.

If I live preaching the gospel to myself on a daily basis then when I sin against others and God I will seek forgiveness. I will remember when others hurt me that I need to freely forgive them whether they ask for it or not. By living at the cross I will remember to walk in grace.

Oh Jesus, I do not want to ever forget of my great sinfulness. My sins before you are great and I deserve hell. I deserve to be separated from you eternally. There is nothing in me that I can do or say to make myself righteous in Your eyes. Not one thing. So I come before you and cry out for mercy, forgiveness and grace which is so freely given to me. Thank you Jesus. Thank you. Amen.

Community of Hurts

Honesty within community is not easy. And yet we are called to walk in light, in truth and confess our sins one to another. (1 John 1:6-7; James 5:7) But we’ve all been there before. We’ve shared our struggles, confessed our sin and ask for help only to be rejected, judged, criticized, misunderstood or worse. Let’s just be honest, community is filled with hurt people who often hurt people.

So we are challenged, once again, to live in transparency within community and we wonder….

What if I am too much? What if I am not enough? What if my sins are too great? What if I am betrayed, criticized, or rejected when you see the real me?

If I share my struggles will you be the one to encourage or tear down? If you see my weaknesses will you help strengthen me or use them against me?

These are the questions that go through our minds and it causes us to withdraw and remember the past. Past hurts. Past betrayals, rejections and sins.

And I wonder is this the enemy’s plan? What a great plan it is! To have us focus on self, to focus on the past. I mean seriously, if we are so focused on what has been done to the point that we are unwilling to reach out in love, grace and friendship then he has successfully stopped community.

I am reminded that Jesus was criticized, misunderstood, betrayed and abandoned by those that were His friends. Some of His friends had a hard time truly seeing the real Jesus but instead saw what they wanted Him to be. Yet Jesus kept them close, loved them, walked along side of them and would go to the cross for them. And because He did their lives would never be the same.

I wonder what would happen inside the church walls if we did what Jesus did? What if we loved even when an unkind word about us was spoken? What if, when we were criticized, judged or rejected, we offered grace? What if, instead of pulling away, we moved forward? What if we stopped hiding? What if we died to ourselves and our hurts and embraced others?

What if we began seeing others as Jesus sees them? After all they most likely have been hurt too and are in need of a bit of love, grace and encouragement. We all have been hurt by an imperfect community, I really don’t think there are any exceptions. So they don’t need more hurt, they need to see Jesus in us and through us.

What if instead of fearing what man might do or say we fear God? I believe that we would be changed. All of us. We would not, could not remain the same.

As I write this I realize how hard it is. No one wants to choose to move toward possible hurt or rejection. I know I don’t. I would rather stay where it’s safe, where I know I am loved and accepted. I would rather stay in the safety of my home surrounded by my family. And yet Jesus hasn’t called us to safe, He called us to love one another. He has called us to community. .

Oh Father we can not do what you ask. We can not open ourselves up to hurt again. Forgive us for how we have treated one another. Help us make amends where possible. Send Your Spirit upon us and fill us with Your love and grace. Cause us to overflow unto others with the gifts You have given us. Help us to live honestly and truthfully with our brothers and sisters with all wisdom and discernment.

Make Me Humble Lord…

Humility. It is the word that keeps popping up lately. We all struggle to be humble. We all struggle with the sin of pride. I once was talking with a woman, sharing with her about a recent struggle in the area of pride and she said, “That’s one sin I never struggle with.” It shut me up. It seems it’s the sin I struggle most with. Perhaps I was really as bad as I thought. Perhaps I wasn’t even a Christian!

It’s been five years since that conversation and what I have realized since then is that everyone struggles with pride. EVERYONE. In fact my pastor said in a recent sermon that “every sin is rooted in pride.”

It’s pride that says my way of doing things or my idea is better than yours.

It’s pride that says I deserve this (whatever this is) and I am going to have it even if it might not be good for me or sinful.

It’s pride that says my time is more important than yours so I will make you wait.

It’s pride that keeps people at arms length because you’ve been hurt.

It’s pride that says I don’t have to obey that rule or that law because I don’t like it.

It’s pride that says you aren’t like me, you don’t “fit” into my culture so I will not attempt to know who you really are.

Tim Keller says in his book, The Freedom of Self Forgetfulness, “Spiritual pride is the illusion that we are competent to run our own lives, achieve our own sense of self-worth and find a purpose big enough to give us meaning in life without God.” So basically anytime I try to live my life without seeking God first I am being prideful. Anytime I try to find my worth in anything apart from God I am being prideful.

Pride. It’s bigger than we think. It’s deeper than we see. And unless we begin to call it was it is it will become a stronghold in our heart and life. It is sin. It is a deep sin that has been ingrained in the human heart since the first sin of pride in the garden of Eden.

So what is the answer? What can a prideful heart do? Go to the cross and confess. Run to the cross of Christ and surrender your pride. The cross is where we find humility. Humility is a holy God who chooses to become man so that He could pay the blood price for sin.

Jesus calls us to be humble. He came to show us what true humility looks like. True humility puts the other persons needs before your own.

True humility says that you and your happiness is more important than my own.

True humility doesn’t spend all day thinking of self or what self needs, wants or desires.

True humility shows compassion, forgiveness and grace toward those who they have been hurt by.

True humility says I am not deserving that God would use me but so grateful He does.

Again a quote from Tim Keller that says, “This is gospel-humility, blessed self-forgetfulness. Not thinking less of myself as in modern cultures, or less of myself as in traditional cultures. Simply thinking of myself less.” Oh to be humble enough that I simply forget to think about myself!

So, what I have learned is that to think one does not struggle with pride is in itself pride. We all struggle with it in some form or fashion. I have learned that, yes I struggle with pride, but knowing this should send me to the cross admitting that I am a sinner.

Oh to be humble! To be completely overwhelmed with my utter depravity, not to cause shame, but so that I might fall prostrate before a Holy God and confess my sin. Yes this is my prayer, that God might make me humble. That He might show me the areas of my heart where pride has taken root and has manifested itself in wrong behaviors and attitudes.

Oh Make me humble Lord. This is what I pray!

His Precious Child

He saw me before the foundations of the earth ever came into being. He saw all of my life in that one moment, from the beginning to the end. He knew me and loved me.

He knew that as a little girl I would have hopes, dreams, love deeply and enjoy life.  I would be  precious to my Father and He too had such hopes and dreams for me. From the moment He fashioned me He fell in love. He had never seen anyone so beautiful. For He believed that each of His creations were filled with such beauty and so precious to Him. But tears fell down His eyes as He held me, His precious daughter. He would watch me grow; and see how I made Him laugh with the silly things I’d do and say. Oh how I would love life and see the beauty of it all.  My tender child’s heart caused Him to smile.

His smile was also filled with sadness, for He knew what was to come. He knew I would not understand the life that I would live.  He knew what I would suffer. My Father would weep for the pain and suffering I would endure. He knew He had the power to stop it; a suffering that would leave me numb and lost. A suffering that would change me forever. Man’s sin would leave it’s mark on my life. I would make sinful choices of my own. Sin that would bring more pain, heartache and suffering. But in that moment my Father saw another One suffer an even greater suffering. One who would not deserve to suffer and yet choose to. He saw His Son suffer for the sins of all mankind. His suffering, and death would set me free. Because of His suffering I would be healed.

It would take years for me to understand though. It would take walking through darkness and pain before I would be able to see what His suffering meant for me. But, my Father knew I would someday have an even greater understanding of His suffering because of what I would suffer. I would, in part,  see His suffering and understand the pain and the torment He went through because of my own suffering. In the midst of seeing His suffering I would then see the hope, the beauty of His suffering for me. His beauty would then reflect in my face.

Until then I would feel so alone and abandoned. I would walk in such darkness, afraid.  How could He help me understand He was with me? He had His arms wrapped so tightly around me, loving me, but I would not know. I could not see His tears fall as evil took over my body. I could not hear Him weeping loudly and painfully. His groans would be so loud that all of heaven could hear. I would not know that He felt all my pain. He would feel the tearing of my soul and the tears that would not come. "Vengeance is mine He'll cry!" "You will not destroy her! For out of this evil I will create beauty. Out of these ashes I will create a garland." "Oh my child, I will not leave you."

Before the foundations of the world were ever formed He knew me and tears ran down His face. He knew what His precious little girl would walk through. The years of pain that she would not understand until she had grown. In that moment He held her tightly and whispered, "My Beloved, I love you, I will walk with you. I will not leave you alone."

(This was originally published on this blog in 2008. Today God brought it to mind and as I read it I ended up editing and rewriting it.)

Is My Ministry Better Than Yours?

“This has been on my heart for months. I’ve chewed on this, prayed about it, and it just will not let go. Therefore I am writing it out to process it and hoping it doesn’t come across as a “rant” but from a heart filled with grace and desiring to speak truth in love.”

There is an interesting phenomenon that I often see among people. In order to feel like we are doing the right thing or fighting the right cause we make others feel like they are fighting the wrong cause. Or at least make them feel as if our cause or ministry is better. If our passion or ministry is feeding the poor then we think everyone should be feeding the poor.  If we are waging war on sex trafficking then everyone should. If we are homeschooling, everyone should. If we adopt, everyone should. If we are a stay at home mom then every mom should stay home. You get the idea.

I wish I could say it’s only among those outside the walls of the church, but unfortunately it’s not. It seems to permeate all of mankind. For some reason we have a deep need to feel that we are doing what is most important. We need to know we are fighting the right battle. We need to be sure we are on the right side. I don’t know about you, but I am tired of jumping on the latest “cause” bandwagon hoping that this is the right one.

We are all prone to it. Recently I was listening in on a conversation with several people who where criticizing a church for using their many resources to begin a new ministry when there are plenty of needs elsewhere. In fact, in their opinions, there were dire needs being neglected at the cost of this new ministry. I felt their frustration and their pain. I understood, I too had moments of similar thinking, both presently and in the past.

Personally, I am passionate about helping those who live in my community who have no hope of a better life. They are trapped in suffering and cycles of many forms of poverty. They are trapped in the lies they’ve been told and no one is speaking truth to them. I see a generation of young people (outside the church walls) who do not know God. Unlike the generations before them they do not understand godly morals, sin, or even the truth about love. They have bought the lies of the world and it seems there is no one to tell them anything different. They believe in a God that does not even exist but is a distortion of what others tell them. They have no idea who God really is. To be honest, at times, I can get frustrated that others do not see what I see. They do not share my passion. 

But I forget that they are often called and see things I do not. They do not share my passion because God has called them to something different. God has placed a passion within them to go to other countries. He has called them to adopt orphans, to fight slavery, and to reach the utter parts of the world. But He has called me, and you, to other ministries.

The hand of the body of Christ should not feel shame, or insignificant, just because she is not the foot.

Why must we shame one another for being passionate about what God has laid on our hearts to do? Why do those who are serving in small ways feel insignificant compared to those doing big things? Each one of us have lived different experiences, suffered different pain and most often our ministries come out of what we have suffered. What better person to understand the pain of poverty than those who have experienced it? What better person to adopt a child than those who can not have children or who, because of various other reasons have that burning passion to do so? I am reminded of 2 Cor 1:4 that says we are able to comfort because we have been comforted. And 1 Cor 10:13 that reminds me that nothing is unique to me. Whatever others have been through there is someone who understands.

Bottom line is this, there are enough resources and people in God’s kingdom for all the passions, causes, ministries and callings which He has laid on the hearts of His children. Instead of shaming or criticizing others for what they are doing (or not doing) perhaps we should be grateful that God has raised up someone to meet that need. Instead of giving in to feelings of insignificance because I am only reaching one person at a time instead of thousands I need to rest in particular God’s calling of my life.

God has not called me to end slavery. I see the need, the atrocity and horror of it. I can even become angry about the injustice of it. I can donate money, pray or offer my encouragement of what others are doing, but I am not called to go into the trenches. I am not called into that specific ministry. I understand God has called others to go battle it and fight. But He did not call me and there is no shame in that. He has called me, and you to something totally different. Why can’t we understand that and stop criticizing one another for what God has called each of us to do?

You might be a “hand” or a “foot”, I might be an “eye” or an “ear”, but we are all apart of the body so let’s give one another grace. Let’s support what the feet are doing without making the hands feel like what they are doing is not important.

Go forth and find what God has called you to do. Find what He has gifted you to do. Ask Him to stir your heart and then passionately, fearlessly, and tirelessly pursue it. And don’t let anyone shame you for doing the ministry that God has called you to do.

May we celebrate our differences. Let us rejoice in the uniqueness that God has called us to! And together the Church Body can reach the world for Christ.

For the body is not one member, but many… But now God has placed the members, each one of them, in the body, just as He desired. If they were all one member, where would the body be? But now there are many members, but one body.  And the eye cannot say to the hand, "I have no need of you"; or again the head to the feet, "I have no need of you." On the contrary, it is much truer that the members of the body which seem to be weaker are necessary; and those members of the body which we deem less honorable, on these we bestow more abundant honor, and our less presentable members become much more presentable, whereas our more presentable members have no need of it. But God has so composed the body, giving more abundant honor to that member which lacked, so that there may be no division in the body, but that the members may have the same care for one another. 1 Cor 12:14-25

 

Joining these link parties…

 

A Do Over Will Not Change Anything

“True repentance always terminates on Jesus. It does not wallow in self-loathing or delight in self-flagellation. Rather, it allows an honest sense of our sinfulness to drive us toward the depth of Christ’s mercy in the gospel.” (taken from Journey to the Cross – Readings & Devotions for Lent)

How many times have I come face to face with my own sin and thought, “I will try harder next time to be obedient”? Or how often have I looked over past failures and sins with guilt and shame thinking if I could just have a do over. If I could just go back I would do things differently.

The truth is having a “do over” will not change anything. The reality of my sinfulness tells me that chances are great that I would do the same thing over again. Why? Because I am hoping to change things in my own strength. More often than not when we want a “do over” it’s about us and what we did or did not do. We are focusing on how we might go back and change things and do them right or better this time.

But, what we fail to remember is the sinfulness of our hearts. Hearts that are prone to wonder. Hearts that are bent toward our own selfish desires. Hearts that are often filled with ourselves and not God.

No, having a do over will not change anything. But what will change things is an honest evaluation of our heart. We change things when we allow our weaknesses, failures, and sinfulness to turn us toward Christ, His grace, and what He did on the cross. Only when we come in humility to the cross of Christ and meet Him there can we truly see that no amount of self punishment, do overs or self induced shame will change anything. Only repentance changes our hearts. Repentance, true repentance “allows an honest sense of our sinfulness to drive us toward the depth of Christ’s mercy in the gospel.”

Today may I encourage you to take all those “do over” wishes and lay them at the foot of the cross? Ask for forgiveness. Repent of the sins that may have caused them in the first place. Repent of your tendencies to want to try to go back to ‘fix it’. Move forward, forgetting the past and allow Christ to heal you, change you and show you how you can grow through those failures. Then choose to walk in the knowledge of His grace, forgiveness and power.

 

Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. All of us who are mature should take such a view of things. And if on some point you think differently, that too God will make clear to you. Phil 3:13-15

2015: A Year of Grace

“True grace produces joy and promotes godliness.”

I am not sure where the above quote came from but it has really stuck with me. I came across it at some point in 2014 as I  was focusing on the word joy. For the most part I could sum up the year with this, “Joy in our circumstances come when we focus on Jesus not our suffering.” As I intentionally tried to focus on Jesus in the midst of the various sufferings that 2014 brought, and often failing, I would often come across the word grace. Grace is needed in order to produce joy. I can’t manufacture joy on my own, nor grace for that matter. Grace is the merciful favor of God which keeps me bound to Christ. It’s God’s grace that pours out upon me that helps me to even want to have joy in the hardest of circumstances.

Grace I have realized is something that I lack. My heart is too often a bit too judgmental, critical and self focused to really be a heart that flows with grace. So here is the problem, if I want to walk in joy I must focus on Christ, not my circumstances. But joy will elude the heart that is critical. The only real hope for a critical, judgmental heart is grace.

Grace changes us.My heart needs to change. My heart has a great propensity towards legalism. Legalism breeds a judgmental and critical heart. If we are stuck in legalism, judgmentalism, or have a critical heart we can not live a life that offers grace to others. I don’t know about you but I want my life, my heart, to reflect grace. I want it to reflect Christ. But it will never reflect Christ if I don’t allow the grace of God to change it. I must learn to live in the overflow of grace. To be grace-filled. Oh how I long for that!

But you nor I will ever be able to offer grace to ourselves or others if we do not first fully accept and understand God’s grace at work in us. This is where my journey begins in 2015. It begins with grace. Actually I began a few months back when I did 31 days of seeking Grace, well… I actually only did 24 days. But, October was a hard month. I was in the hospital and then we lost my mother in law so I didn’t get though all 31 days. Regardless though, as I began to understand grace I realized just how much more I needed to understand, embrace and grabbed hold of it. So my word, my focus for 2015 is GRACE.

Change My Heart….

For weeks I have struggled to find words to write. My heart has been processing much. It seems that while I may have much to say the words are not forming on “paper” very easily. Nor are they forming easily out loud. So I sit and ask God to help me understand what it is my heart is feeling?

Then today I keep singing these words, “Change my heart, O God make it ever true. Change my heart O God may I be like you.”

And these are my thoughts…thoughts that are kind of jumbled up inside in some sort of confusing, growing, I know God is trying to tell me something, kind of way. So I sit and write and pray.

God knows me. I mean He REALLY knows me. Inside and out. He has examined the depths of my heart. He knows my thoughts and my motives. He knows the words I whisper in my heart but choose not to speak. He knows all about me. (Psalm 139:1-5) That can be a scary thought. At least in my mind, because you see, I too know the ugly parts of my heart. I hear my unkind thoughts.

My constant cry is Psalms 139:23-24 which says, “Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my thoughts. Point out anything in me that offends you, and lead me along the path of everlasting life.”

Ya’ all, here is the deal. I am a sinner. Oh I know Jesus died for me and conquered death. I know I have been born of the Spirit of God who now lives in me. I know there is grace. I know I stand forgiven. But all this does not change the fact that I still sin.

I still get angry when I should love.

I still fight forgiving others when they hurt me.

I still want my own way.

I still want it to be about me.

I am still stubborn. I can be very unkind. My are not always pure. I can be a hypocrite, a Pharisee and I could go on, but you get the idea. On many days I can forget I am redeemed. And  I often serve whatever idol of the day is rising up in my heart for control.

Regardless of what you think, what you might perceive, I do not have it all together. I have not arrived to some level of super Christian or to a mega spiritual level. So if you want to stop following me, or stop being my friend, or if you lose confidence in me as a leader, a mentor, a disciple(r)? I get it. Really I do.

But know this. It breaks my heart as much as it breaks yours. I grieve over the sinfulness of my heart. The sin it is capable of committing. Sometimes I wonder if there is any hope at all for my heart to really change.

I mean, like change forever!

But the truth is my heart has already changed forever. I now have a new heart. I have the heart of Christ who is changing me daily. I have a heart that desires to do good and to please God. Yet while I am still here on earth I will always battle my flesh.

I have changed and I am changing. Sin is no longer my master. Because of Christ’s victory on the cross I know am no longer a slave to sin. Sin no longer has to control the way I live. I have been freed from the power of sin.  (Romans 6) But still, I will fail. I will sin. I will do the very thing I do not want to do.

I, like you, battle the flesh and I can say with Paul in Romans 7:18-19 (NLT) “I know I am rotten through and through so far as my old sinful nature is concerned. No matter which way I turn, I can't make myself do right. I want to, but I can't. When I want to do good, I don't. And when I try not to do wrong, I do it anyway.”

So what hope do I have? What hope is there? Oh what a miserable person I am!! Who will free me from this battle of the flesh? This sinful heart? “Thank God! The answer is in Jesus Christ our Lord. So you see how it is: In my mind I really want to obey God's law, but because of my sinful nature I am a slave to sin. So now there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus. For the power of the life-giving Spirit has freed you through Christ Jesus from the power of sin that leads to death. ” (Romans 7:24-8:2)

I am not condemned. God does not condemn me, He only sees the work of the cross. He sees the righteousness of Jesus. Therefore I will not condemn myself. I will not condemn you. And please, I ask, do not condemn me. Let us remember that the power of the life-giving Spirit has freed us and is in the process of changing us to be ever more like Him.

Let’s offer grace to one another. Grace that says, “I trust the Spirit that is working in you.” Grace that says, “I see Jesus working in you.”

 

 

I am linking up with….

 

30 Days of Marriage Thankfulness

I’ve been posting thankful updates on Facebook this month and decided that I should list them all in one place and since it's the month of our Anniversary (on the 26th) I thought I would focus on what I am thankful for in regards to my marriage. I am sure I'll have no problems coming up with 30 reasons I am thankful for being married or for my husband.

I share the below not to hold my marriage up as some sort of perfect example. It’s far from perfect. We have struggled and continue to struggle, but we struggle together. Even in the hardest, most difficult moments of our marriage we keep working to make it better. To get through the tough times takes a willingness to lay it all out, talk about it, walk through it and come out on the other side stronger. But, and this is a really BIG BUT, none of this is possible apart from God who works individually in our hearts and our marriage. So really it’s all about what God has done in our marriage. It’s about me (well really both of us) surrendering my heart, mind, body, and soul to the will of God. As we surrender to God we are better able to be the husband/wife we need to be.

Marriage is about the husband and wife dying daily to their wants and desires and following Christ. As we do this we often find ourselves more willing to put the other before ourselves.

Anyway, I didn’t mean to write a whole blog post I just wanted to list all the reason I am thankful for my husband and my marriage.

I am thankful for...

Day 1- the kindness of my husband.
Day 2 - his emotional strength and support during the hard times.
Day 3 - his strength of character and integrity.
Day 4 - a marriage that God uses to refine my heart and draw me closer to Him

Day 5: a husband who knows how to make me smile (even when I don't want to). Life with him is filled with so much joy even in the midst of sorrow, pain, and trials.

Day 6:  a marriage that is filled with love, friendship, forgiveness, grace, patience, laughter, and most of all God.

Day 7: the friendship I have with my husband. He is truly my best friend for life.

Day 8: my husband who loves me in those moments I don't think I am being very lovable.

Day 9: He is my hero. He is a blessing to my life.

Day 10: my husband who has faithfully worked hard to provide for our family but even more thankful that he has made choices to put his family and wife over his job/career.

Day 11:  for a marriage that consist of a 3 strand cord. My husband, my self and God.

And if one can overpower him who is alone, two can resist him. A cord of three strands is not quickly torn apart. (Ecc 4:12)

Day 12: I am thankful I get to journey along side my husband and watch him grow, change and draw into a deeper relationship with Christ. It's through my husband I have learned to love deeper and understand God's love for me in a richer way. I am blessed.

Day 13: I love the way he looks at me after all these years and calls me beautiful. I am thankful that he sees me, on good and bad days, and still loves me.

Day 14: that he is faithful. Faithful to our marriage vows, to me, to God, and our family.

Day 15: I am thankful my husband does most (if not all) of the outside work...especially when it's freezing cold out there!

Day 16: I am thankful that within the marriage relationship I have learned, and continue to learn, that it's in those difficult, hard and often times painful moments of life that we grow the most.

Day 17: I am thankful that marriage has taught me to live less selfishly, with greater compassion and love. It has also taught me I sill have much to learn....and room to grow.

Day 18: I am thankful he chose me!! Seriously, for those who do not know our story, he had every right to give up, and yet he kept loving, pursuing and still chose to marry me!

Day 19: So thankful that my husband is there for me when I need to talk and talk or when I need to just sit in silence. I'm pretty sure he likes the silence better, but he is a great listener, sounding board and advice giver.

Day 20: I am thankful for grace. Grace in my marriage. Neither one of us are perfect. Our marriage is far from perfect. We fail, disagree and have wrong attitudes and yet we continue to love, work it out and offer grace. Again not perfectly, we are very aware of our imperfections and sins that cause our marriage to be imperfect. But, even more so, we are aware of a God who empowers us, forgives us, and pours out grace daily in order for our marriage to grow to be what God wants it to be.

Day 21: I am thankful for my children, daughters in law and grandchildren. I am proud of each and every one of them. They are amazing blessings, fruit of our love, marriage and commitment. I give God alone the glory for what He has done.

Day 22: I am thankful that God has been faithful in helping us keep the promise we made to one another on our wedding day.

Day 23: I am thankful my husband is a patient man.

Day 24: I am thankful...today my heart just overflows with thankfulness for blessings too many to list, blessing undeserved...God's grace which He pours upon me is amazing.

Day 25: Almost daily he snuggles up close and whispers in my ear, “You are beautiful!”

Day 26: Today we celebrate 31 years of love, family, joy, friendship, togetherness, but along with these we have also had losses, heartaches, conflict, hard times, disappointments, hurt and sorrow. For all this we can be thankful. We give thanks for all these for we know, and have seen, God work out His purposes through both.

Day 27: I am grateful for two couples in particular who, in our early years of marriage, spoke truth to us, prayed with and for us and modeled what a godly marriage should be. But through the years God has brought many godly couples into our lives as examples and I am thankful for each of them.

Day 28: I am grateful to my church, especially the pastors, who continually preach the truth of God's word when it come to the covenant marriage relationship. And challenge us often on how we are to treat one another as husbands and wives.

Day 29: I am grateful that having a good marriage isn't solely based on what I do or don't do. It's about allowing God to be in control and center of my life. I need to surrender my life to a God who continues to work in and through me to be the wife He desires me to be. I am thankful He hasn't given up on my sometime stubborn heart.

Day 30: Our marriage isn’t perfect. I don’t have a perfect husband. I am not the perfect wife. But we do have a perfect God who daily works in us. I am thankful that for 31 years God is the one who has held us together.

Do You Love The Church?

Sometimes my mind gets ahold of something and I just can’t stop thinking about it. I begin to look at it from all different angles mulling it over and over until it reaches the depths of my heart. I usually don’t share my thoughts with just anyone while still in the process of mulling it over. But this time I am feeling led to.

I’ve been bothered by a thought every since a recent sermon. Our pastor reminded us that we are called to love one another as Christ loves us. And by the love I give to my brother's and sisters in Christ my neighbors (and the world) will know I am His disciple. (John 13:34-35) If I love my brothers and sisters in Christ then I will love my neighbor and the world will see I am His disciple.

So my neighbor, co-workers, unsaved family and the world will know I am a Christian by how I love my brothers and sisters in Christ. I don’t know about you but at times that is hard to do. I mean I do love the body of Christ.

But when we have to bring it down to the individual, sometimes it gets a bit harder doesn’t it?

You know the individual Christian I am talking about. The one who seems to grate on your very last nerve. The one who seems to always have a word of criticism to speak. The one who has to do everything bigger and better than everyone else. The one who bullies his/her way through a meeting. The one who takes credit for something you did. The one who _________ (you fill in the blank).

So the question I am asking myself today is this, "Do I really love my brothers and sisters in Christ?" Can the world look at my life and see my love for them? Or are they more apt to see criticism and arguing over petty differences? Are they more apt to see bullies who try to push people around in order to get their own way? Those who are more concerned about their agenda instead of God’s?

I am asking the hard questions of my heart today. Asking God to search my heart for wrong motives and desires when it comes to loving my church community. Am I truly loving them as Christ loves me?

Seems God keeps challenging me with this verse...seriously some days I wish my mind didn't think so much!! "If someone says, "I love God," and hates his brother, he is a liar; for the one who does not love his brother whom he has seen, cannot love God whom he has not seen." (1 John 4:20) We are a liar if we say that we love God but hate our brother. Brother here means those of the Bride of Christ, the Christian who sits in the pew next to you each Sunday. The Christian, who if you are really honest, you don’t particularly like.

If we aren't showing (that is an action and not just saying it) love to our brothers and sisters in Christ then do we really love them?

Yes, we need to show love to our neighbors, to those we meet on the street, to the unsaved around the world BUT if we are not showing love to those in the body of Christ then what good is it? How will the WORLD know the love of our Savior if we can’t even love one another?

How will the world know Christ if His children can not even treat one another with grace, love, mercy, compassion and kindness?

I’ll even go one step further what good is it if we send our time, money, and resources to brothers and sister in Christ around the world if we can’t even love those within our own body of Christ?

How can we say that we love God and yet treat those within the body so badly?

Father forgive me for the times I treat my brothers and sisters sinfully. Forgive us, Your Church for being so petty and fighting over things that just aren’t pleasing to you. Father help us. We so desperately need Your help, for we are a sinful, and stubborn people. May we humble ourselves before you and offer our hearts, our attitudes and our very life up to you as a sacrifice. Mold us, make us into a church that shines Your light brightly.

A Failure to Focus

I am working through Hebrews and opened up today to chapter 3 where it begins “Therefore, holy brethren, partakers of a heavenly calling, consider Jesus, The Apostle and High Priest of our confession;” My goal today was to just read the chapter, but how can I go on read without pausing on this rich thought. There is so much here. So much to consider.

I love the richness of His Word. But too often I neglect it. I push it aside for other things, often this that seem to be good. But I miss out on HIS words. I miss His words pouring into my soul anew and experiencing the refreshment they have to offer.

How long, O Lord, will I neglect your word? How soon I forget the comfort, the peace and the joy Your words bring?!

It’s been 4 days since I last looked at Hebrews and the first thing I am struck by in this verse is “consider Jesus”. Consider Him, The Apostle and High Priest. Consider this Jesus who is God, the first born of all creation. The One who is fully of glory, who created all things. The One who sits at the right hand of God, who suffered death on a cross. (Heb 1 &2) Who “had to be made like His brethren in all things, so that He might become a merciful and faithful high priest in things pertaining to God, to make propitiation for the sins of the people” (Heb 2:17)

Consider, fix your eyes on THIS Jesus. Oh how often I loose sight of who He IS. I loose sight of Him because my eyes have been fixed on the things of this world. Things that do not matter. Things that He already has control over. Things I am not to concern myself with for God is working them all out in His time and His way.

O Father….May I consider Jesus today. May I fix my eyes on Him. My I focus on YOU!

Oh Jesus help me to keep my eyes on You. Forgive me for neglecting You and Your word. Forgive me for those moments that my eyes become fixed on this world and all the worries and cares that it brings. I can not do this alone, my flesh constantly desires to turn its eyes from you, forgive me for thinking I can do it. Fill me with Your Spirit. Help me keep my eyes fixed on You and You alone. Thank you for Your grace and Your mercy. Thank you for forgiving me of my sins. Thank You for Your Spirit that lives in me. Amen.

Fill My Empty Cup

She walked alone down the street unsure of where she was going. She was a pitiful looking little thing with her dress hanging just below the knees, threads hanging down from the hem which was coming loose. It was barely a dress; it looked more like a potato sack that had been made into a makeshift covering. She had no shoes on. Her straggly hair, hung down to her lower back and looked like it hadn’t been combed in weeks. Her tear streaked face was dirty. Her eyes spoke of heartache and loneliness. If you looked long enough into the depths of her eyes you could see the longing of her soul.

He watched her as she approached a young boy. She pulled from her pocket an old dirty cup. She held it out to him and asked if he could please fill it for her. As he filled it with parts of himself, her eyes began to shine and she smiled.

"Thank you very much sir," she said as she skipped away.

It wasn’t but a short distance until she became that same sullen, lonely little girl as before. Time and time again He watched the girl walk up and down the street asking to be filled by anyone who might pass her way but the joy she received never lasted very long.

He waited until He knew she was becoming weary.  He approached her and ask, "What is it that you need child?" She looked at Him with big sad eyes and said, "My cup won't stay full! Every time someone fills it with love and happiness it just flows out."

"Oh, my child," He said with love and tenderness, "you are filling it up with all the wrong things. Do you not know that if you would allow Me to fill it up with all that I am that it would never be empty again?"

Holding tightly to the cup she eagerly held it out to Him to be filled. "No child, you must let go of the cup. You must surrender it to me. Once surrender then I can fill it to overflowing and you will never feel empty again."

Quickly she pulled the cup back and held it tightly to her chest. How could she trust this man with her cherished cup? What if He took it and she still felt empty inside? At least with the cup there were moments of happiness, even if they were fleeting.

She looked up into His eyes. They were kind eyes, soft, and filled with such love. She looked down at her cup. It was empty, again. The ache in her heart was painful and she was growing weary of trying to keep it filled. Maybe she could trust Him. Maybe she would try.

Hesitantly she lifted the cup up to Him with her hands open. He took the cup from her and as He did she felt a joy deep inside that felt so wonderful that she thought she just might explode.

His eyes danced with joy as He watched her transform into a child that flowed with love, beauty and a joy that quickly become contagious to those around her.

The girl instantly became clean and filled with laughter. She rushed toward Him and held Him tightly, tears of joy streaming down her face. She was no longer empty. She no longer felt alone or unloved. She was filled to overflowing with His love. She was filled with Him.

 

“but whoever drinks the water I give him will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life." John 4:14

You have made known to me the paths of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence.' Acts 2:28

Grace in my Insecurities

Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children; and walk in love, just as Christ also loved you and gave Himself up for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God as a fragrant aroma. Ephesians 5:1-2

There are many things I just love about God, but I think the thing that touches the deepest hurts in my heart is His desire for a relationship with me. One of my deepest fears is that of being unloved. Even worse is to be unlovable. To be void of relationships.

Although God has worked in amazing ways to heal my heart of this fear, this insecurity likes to rise up every now and again. Too often I doubt that apart from my family no one really loves me. I may be tolerated, but loved? I have a hard time accepting or believing it when someone tells me they love me.

The most amazing aspect of my healing is how God gave me the perfect husband. No he is not perfect, just perfect for me. You see for over 30 years he has loved me well. He speaks words of love when I am acting unlovable. His love has no strings attached. His love is strong. It’s deep. It’s been a faithful, enduring love. Sure there have been moments that it’s been hard, it’s been frustrating, but still he loves. I’ve never known a love like this from another person.

Through my husbands imperfect love God reminds of His perfect love. God has allowed me to have a husband who lives out Ephesians 5:25 “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her”. Again my husband hasn’t done it perfectly, yet he has loved me in a way that shows me over and over just how deeply I am loved. And through this love I have been able to embrace and accept God’s love for me. I have been able to believe and trust in such a love.

My husband’s love has been unconditional. But God’s is even more so. Man tries not to attach any conditions, but often there are. With God there is absolutely no conditions on His love. Man’s love is imperfect. God’s love is perfect.

My insecurities can and do threaten my heart and mind at times. God is so patient and gracious and when I am feeling particularly unlovable He pours out His love and grace over me in ever surprising ways.

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This is part of the 2014 31 day writing  challenge over at the Nesting Place. You can check out my other post by clicking the image below.

Also linking up here today!

Grace in the Wilderness

When I was young the wilderness seemed wild and untamed.

It brought times of isolation and pain.

My soul would groan, ache and whine at the dry, cracked unbearable surroundings.

It seemed like punishment. Torture. Abandonment.

 

Now that I am older, more intimate with the wilderness I embrace it.

Now, even though it still brings isolation, I see God.

I see grace in the wilderness as it brings growth, renewal and humility.

It brings a deeper, closer more intimate walk with God.

 

"You shall remember all the way which the LORD your God has led you in the wilderness these forty years, that He might humble you, testing you, to know what was in your heart, whether you would keep His commandments or not. Deuteronomy 8:2-16

 

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This is part of the 2014 31 day writing  challenge over at the Nesting Place. You can check out my other post by clicking the image below.

Your Grace Finds Me

I was listening to this song on the radio today, and singing along, I realized I needed to share it as part of my 31 Days of Seeking Grace. There is no way I could say it better. Grace is a part of every aspect of our life. Where does God’s grace shine in your day today?

May we be intentional in breathing in His grace and breathing out His praise….

It's there in the newborn cry
It's there in the light of every sunrise
It's there in the shadows of this light
Your great grace

It's there on the mountaintop
It's there in the everyday and the mundane
There in the sorrow and the dancing
Your great grace
Oh, such grace

From the creation to the cross
Then from the cross into eternity
Your grace finds me
Yes, Your grace finds me

It's there on a wedding day
There in the weeping by the graveside
There in the very breath we breathe
Your great grace

Same for the rich and poor
Same for the saint and for the sinner
Enough for this whole wide world
Your great grace
Oh, such grace

From the creation to the cross
Then from the cross into eternity
Your grace finds me
Yes, Your grace finds me

There in the darkest night of the soul
There in the sweetest songs of victory
Your grace finds me
Yes, Your grace finds me

Your great grace
Oh, such grace
Your great grace
Oh, such grace

So I'm breathing in Your grace
And I'm breathing out Your praise
I'm breathing in Your grace
Forever I'll be
Breathing in Your grace
And I'm breathing out Your praise
I'm breathing in Your grace
And I'm breathing out Your praise
Breathing in Your grace
For our God, for our God

Yes, Your grace finds me
Yes, Your grace finds me

by Matt Redman

This is part of the 2014 31 day writing  challenge over at the Nesting Place. You can check out my other post by clicking the image below.