Being Thankful In All Things

 

Recently I was asked "How can we give thanks for everything that happens to us?" My quick answer was, "We can't. And God doesn't expect us to. God said that we are to give thank in everything, not for everything."

So often the enemy changes one small word and our entire thinking goes wrong. God tells us that we are to be thankful in our circumstances not for them. 

How many times have we been in a place where we are faced with suffering, pain, or trials with the wrong view? We think that somehow we are to be thankful for whatever we are facing. In this life we can face some really hard things in life. Like, how can a mother watch her child die of cancer and be thankful? How can a wife be thankful that her husband is having an affair? How can we be thankful as we live and work in an environment that seems hostile to what we believe? How can anyone be thankful for being abused, beaten, abandoned, marginalized, forgotten or... the list could go on and on.

Oh dear one, God does not ask us to be thankful for these things. He wants us to have an attitude of thankfulness as we walk through them. When our circumstances threaten to overwhelm us we can still be thankful. We can be thankful as we look to God. But first we must take our eyes off the circumstance, die to what we thought would happen, and remember who He is and what He has done. We can be thankful for His continued Faithfulness to us.

We can give thanks because we know that God always acts in righteousness. "I will give thanks to the LORD according to His righteousness And will sing praise to the name of the LORD Most High". Ps 7:17 

We can give thanks because He is our God! "You are my God, and I give thanks to You; You are my God, I extol You". Ps 118:28

We can give thanks as a sacrifice of praise. "...The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; Blessed be the name of the Lord.” Job 1:21

God wants us to choose an attitude of thankfulness.  It’s choosing to live, walk, and believe in TRUTH regardless of emotions or circumstances. Living a life in thankfulness is beyond the ability of the flesh so we must rely on the Spirit. We must be in His word. "Devote yourselves to prayer, keeping alert in it with an attitude of thanksgiving." Col 4:2 

Will you choose to be thankful because of who God is? Will you choose to focus on God and His character instead of whatever current circumstances you find yourself in? Go to God in prayer and ask His Spirit to help you live a life being thankful reguardless of your circumstances.

Stop Fighting For Control

Have you ever had one of those days when it feels like you are carrying around the weight of the world? You look around you and see all the pain, heartbreak, struggling, confusion, uncertainty and you want to do something. You want to try fix it!

 

There is so much hurt. So much pain. You wonder, "How can I help make it better"? As you look around it seems overwhelming. How can you help those that will not listen? How can you warn of the coming storms when people choose not to see? How can you encourage the heartbroken? The abused? Those caught in sin's cycle?

In the midst of a day when I am taking on the sorrow of the world God whispers gently in my ear. “These sorrows are not for you. I will carry them.”

I protest, “But God, shouldn’t I say SOMETHING to help them see truth?” Shouldn’t I DO something?” Again a whisper, “Dear child, you have spoken. You have pointed out truth.  You have loved them where they are. And as I give you opportunity continue but for right now, let it go and pray.”

 

“PRAY? That is it!” “Yes.”

Oh how often I forget that God carries the world and all the troubles on His shoulders I do not need to. I forget I am not in control of the lives of those I love. God changes minds, heart and saves souls. He convicts of sin and He is the one who will work it all out for His glory. 

I need to pray.

What I continue to learn over and over and over is, I AM NOT IN CONTROL. Not even a little. I am learning, continually it seems, that I need to trust more. For if I am fighting to control my family, friends or my circumstances then I am not trusting God. Did you get that?

If I am fighting for control, then I am not trusting God. 

 

Oh Father help me trust you more fully! Help me to realize that I can not carry the sorrows and heartaches of this world. You have called me to pray. Father, teach me to pray and leave it all with you.

#trustgod #blogger #devotions #newblogpost #itsbeenawhile.

Living at the Cross of Jesus

I want to awaken each morning and fall at the cross of Jesus. At the cross is the only place that I can remember what a great sinner I am and what a great Savior I have. To begin each day at the cross is where truly humility is evidenced by Jesus coming down to earth in the form of man so that He could take my sins upon Himself and pay the penalty of death that should be mine to pay.

The cross is a beautiful picture of humility, suffering and grace. I want to embrace it anew each morning so that I will be reminded of the gospel, what it means, what it cost and that I need to walk in it. But I don’t want to stay there, I want to then look to the empty tomb where there is grace.

You see, if I begin each day at the cross how can I possibly think more highly of myself than I ought? How can I not be humbled? But even more so, how can I not walk in a humble gracefulness that then preaches the gospel to myself and to others?

The truth is though, I will fail every single day. I will sin against God and against others. My pride, selfishness, insecurities, fear and so many other sins of my flesh will cause hurt toward God and others. But if I am living at the foot of the cross, remembering I am a sinner and then looking to the empty tomb and beyond to the One who already paid the price, I will walk in grace and not shame.

And this is where I want to live. I want to live at the cross so that I might look beyond it toward the resurrection and walk in the freedom of grace.

If I live preaching the gospel to myself on a daily basis then when I sin against others and God I will seek forgiveness. I will remember when others hurt me that I need to freely forgive them whether they ask for it or not. By living at the cross I will remember to walk in grace.

Oh Jesus, I do not want to ever forget of my great sinfulness. My sins before you are great and I deserve hell. I deserve to be separated from you eternally. There is nothing in me that I can do or say to make myself righteous in Your eyes. Not one thing. So I come before you and cry out for mercy, forgiveness and grace which is so freely given to me. Thank you Jesus. Thank you. Amen.

Community of Hurts

Honesty within community is not easy. And yet we are called to walk in light, in truth and confess our sins one to another. (1 John 1:6-7; James 5:7) But we’ve all been there before. We’ve shared our struggles, confessed our sin and ask for help only to be rejected, judged, criticized, misunderstood or worse. Let’s just be honest, community is filled with hurt people who often hurt people.

So we are challenged, once again, to live in transparency within community and we wonder….

What if I am too much? What if I am not enough? What if my sins are too great? What if I am betrayed, criticized, or rejected when you see the real me?

If I share my struggles will you be the one to encourage or tear down? If you see my weaknesses will you help strengthen me or use them against me?

These are the questions that go through our minds and it causes us to withdraw and remember the past. Past hurts. Past betrayals, rejections and sins.

And I wonder is this the enemy’s plan? What a great plan it is! To have us focus on self, to focus on the past. I mean seriously, if we are so focused on what has been done to the point that we are unwilling to reach out in love, grace and friendship then he has successfully stopped community.

I am reminded that Jesus was criticized, misunderstood, betrayed and abandoned by those that were His friends. Some of His friends had a hard time truly seeing the real Jesus but instead saw what they wanted Him to be. Yet Jesus kept them close, loved them, walked along side of them and would go to the cross for them. And because He did their lives would never be the same.

I wonder what would happen inside the church walls if we did what Jesus did? What if we loved even when an unkind word about us was spoken? What if, when we were criticized, judged or rejected, we offered grace? What if, instead of pulling away, we moved forward? What if we stopped hiding? What if we died to ourselves and our hurts and embraced others?

What if we began seeing others as Jesus sees them? After all they most likely have been hurt too and are in need of a bit of love, grace and encouragement. We all have been hurt by an imperfect community, I really don’t think there are any exceptions. So they don’t need more hurt, they need to see Jesus in us and through us.

What if instead of fearing what man might do or say we fear God? I believe that we would be changed. All of us. We would not, could not remain the same.

As I write this I realize how hard it is. No one wants to choose to move toward possible hurt or rejection. I know I don’t. I would rather stay where it’s safe, where I know I am loved and accepted. I would rather stay in the safety of my home surrounded by my family. And yet Jesus hasn’t called us to safe, He called us to love one another. He has called us to community. .

Oh Father we can not do what you ask. We can not open ourselves up to hurt again. Forgive us for how we have treated one another. Help us make amends where possible. Send Your Spirit upon us and fill us with Your love and grace. Cause us to overflow unto others with the gifts You have given us. Help us to live honestly and truthfully with our brothers and sisters with all wisdom and discernment.

Make Me Humble Lord…

Humility. It is the word that keeps popping up lately. We all struggle to be humble. We all struggle with the sin of pride. I once was talking with a woman, sharing with her about a recent struggle in the area of pride and she said, “That’s one sin I never struggle with.” It shut me up. It seems it’s the sin I struggle most with. Perhaps I was really as bad as I thought. Perhaps I wasn’t even a Christian!

It’s been five years since that conversation and what I have realized since then is that everyone struggles with pride. EVERYONE. In fact my pastor said in a recent sermon that “every sin is rooted in pride.”

It’s pride that says my way of doing things or my idea is better than yours.

It’s pride that says I deserve this (whatever this is) and I am going to have it even if it might not be good for me or sinful.

It’s pride that says my time is more important than yours so I will make you wait.

It’s pride that keeps people at arms length because you’ve been hurt.

It’s pride that says I don’t have to obey that rule or that law because I don’t like it.

It’s pride that says you aren’t like me, you don’t “fit” into my culture so I will not attempt to know who you really are.

Tim Keller says in his book, The Freedom of Self Forgetfulness, “Spiritual pride is the illusion that we are competent to run our own lives, achieve our own sense of self-worth and find a purpose big enough to give us meaning in life without God.” So basically anytime I try to live my life without seeking God first I am being prideful. Anytime I try to find my worth in anything apart from God I am being prideful.

Pride. It’s bigger than we think. It’s deeper than we see. And unless we begin to call it was it is it will become a stronghold in our heart and life. It is sin. It is a deep sin that has been ingrained in the human heart since the first sin of pride in the garden of Eden.

So what is the answer? What can a prideful heart do? Go to the cross and confess. Run to the cross of Christ and surrender your pride. The cross is where we find humility. Humility is a holy God who chooses to become man so that He could pay the blood price for sin.

Jesus calls us to be humble. He came to show us what true humility looks like. True humility puts the other persons needs before your own.

True humility says that you and your happiness is more important than my own.

True humility doesn’t spend all day thinking of self or what self needs, wants or desires.

True humility shows compassion, forgiveness and grace toward those who they have been hurt by.

True humility says I am not deserving that God would use me but so grateful He does.

Again a quote from Tim Keller that says, “This is gospel-humility, blessed self-forgetfulness. Not thinking less of myself as in modern cultures, or less of myself as in traditional cultures. Simply thinking of myself less.” Oh to be humble enough that I simply forget to think about myself!

So, what I have learned is that to think one does not struggle with pride is in itself pride. We all struggle with it in some form or fashion. I have learned that, yes I struggle with pride, but knowing this should send me to the cross admitting that I am a sinner.

Oh to be humble! To be completely overwhelmed with my utter depravity, not to cause shame, but so that I might fall prostrate before a Holy God and confess my sin. Yes this is my prayer, that God might make me humble. That He might show me the areas of my heart where pride has taken root and has manifested itself in wrong behaviors and attitudes.

Oh Make me humble Lord. This is what I pray!

I am Desperate and Needy

Trust. Control. Two words that seem to cause a constant struggle in my heart and life. To trust means to have an “assured reliance on the character, ability, strength, or truth of someone or something” or the “belief that someone or something is reliable, good, honest, effective, etc”.   Control means to have power over (something), to direct the actions or function of (something)  or to cause (something) to act or function in a certain way.” (Merriam Webster Online Dictionary)

I believe God. I believe His written words are truth, His truth. I read and believe in His goodness and yet when it come to my life so often I struggle to trust that He is good to me in all things. I struggle to trust that He will always DO good, not that He IS good. Yet, I know those two can not be separated. He is good and does good. (Ps 84:11; 119:68) I struggle to trust that He will always have MY good in mind even in the midst of horrific circumstances. I struggle in my human flesh to choose what I know is TRUTH over that which I FEEL.

Most days I am a desperate, needy child of God who battles over what I feel and what I know is truth. Truth says that God is trust worthy, He is good and He will work out all things together for my good and His glory. I don’t always see it. The good I mean. In many things I am still waiting to see the good. I might not ever see it until heaven and I need to be okay with that. I am most days.

You see the truth is I am broken, desperate and in need of a Savior. I have tried to be in control. I have tried to “fix” people and myself, but failure always comes. I can not do it. I was never meant to fix anyone or thing. I try to do in order to please so that I might be worthy, but it’s never enough. Even on my best day when I am totally in sync with Jesus it’s still not enough. The truth is I am a desperate, weak, needy sinner. Every single day I fail at some level to be righteously good. I do not have the power to make myself righteous, only Jesus does. Yet too often I try, in my own power, to be good enough.

I am desperate. Yet it is the desperate that Jesus came to save. The leper knew he was an outcast. He knew he was unclean, unworthy and could do nothing about it. He could not heal himself. So he did the only thing he could think of, he went to Jesus. The leper knew that no matter what he tried to do, how well he might try to hide his skin he would always be unclean. He knew he needed a savior. He needed the One true God and so he went out to find Him. (Matt 8:1-4)

The woman with a blood issue knew she too was unclean. She had tried for years to be clean but was powerless to do so. Nothing helped. No one could make her unclean. Then in desperation she reached out to Jesus. Empty of all other hope she reached out and touched Jesus and in that moment she was healed. (Luke 8:43-48)

Both the woman and the leper knew they had no power to fix themselves. They didn’t let their neediness keep them from reaching out. They knew their only hope was Jesus, God incarnate. In Him there was power to raise the dead and to make them clean.

In Jesus there is still the power to raise the dead, make clean, forgive sin and defeat the enemy. Yet I struggle to trust completely. I so often fight for control of my life. I want things “fixed” in my way, in my timing. The truth is, I want to be God. Not really, but isn’t that really what we are saying when we want control? Aren’t we saying, “God my way is better than yours?” If it wasn’t so serious it would be laughable. I mean, it’s not like I’ve done a good joy trying to control my world anyway.

How this must grieve the heart of God when I fight for control. Why do I say I believe with my mouth yet deny His power when I try to do it my way? Why do I deny the work that Jesus wants to do in me by thinking I know better?

Why? Because I am desperate and in need of the gospel. I need to preach it to myself every single day. And when I forget to preach it I forget I am not in control. Every single day I must remind myself that it is Jesus who came to die for my sins, my weakness, my desperation and neediness. He came to die and to defeat sin and death. He paid the price. I must remind myself that He died and then was raised through the power of God. He died, was raised from the dead and this same power that raised Him is available to me.

This is the power of the gospel living in me. A power that says, yes you are desperate, needy and you are so filled with pride to think you can control, yes you are unclean but Jesus came to set you free. Because of what Jesus did on the cross God sees Him not me. It’s the power of the Gospel of Jesus that tells me I can trust that He truly does have everything in control.

So on those days when I battle for control, when I am not inclined to trust completely I must preach the Gospel of Jesus to myself. I must choose to believe, trust and surrender to what I know it truth instead of what the circumstances show or how I feel.

Oh Father I find great comfort knowing that you will not stop your work in me until I am perfect. You will not give up on me. You do not grow weary or impatient with my desperation or neediness. No, because of Jesus You already see me as I will be. My mind can not comprehend it for I only see my need of You and yet You see Jesus. Forgive me for the times I lack trust and I refuse to surrender my will. Help me to trust more completely and surrender wholeheartedly to You. Amen.

 

Joining…..

Weekend Rewind and

 

Stop Giving, We Have Enough!

Imagine for a minute that you are sitting in your church and you hear your pastor say, “We no longer need any more money. Please stop giving. Because of your generosity and sacrificial giving we have enough to do all the work God has called us to do.” Sounds crazy doesn’t it?

And yet that is exactly what Moses told the people when they started giving so that the temple could be built. The people were so moved that they began to bring all that they had in order to built a place for God to dwell.

“And the people continued to bring freewill offerings morning after morning. So all the skilled craftsmen who were doing all the work on the sanctuary left their work and said to Moses, "The people are bringing more than enough for doing the work the LORD commanded to be done." Then Moses gave an order and they sent this word throughout the camp: "No man or woman is to make anything else as an offering for the sanctuary." And so the people were restrained from bringing more, because what they already had was more than enough to do all the work.”  Exodus 36:3-7

As I read this I was challenged. Do I give more than enough? Do I keep giving until there is more than needed to do the work of God? What if we gave freely of our resources until there was no longer a need? I am not saying that we could we end world hunger. But what about hunger in our community? Our church?

I know. These are hard questions. Some might say they are crazy, but they are questions that cross my mind as I read these verses. God may lead each of us to a different answer but nothing will change if we do not at least ask the question.

What if churches or ministries didn’t have to beg for money but instead God’s people just gave and gave until there was enough to do the work of God? What if we gave away more than we kept for ourselves?

 

 

This is part of my 2015 journey through the word. Please click to find more in this series.

Fill My Empty Cup

She walked alone down the street unsure of where she was going. She was a pitiful looking little thing with her dress hanging just below the knees, threads hanging down from the hem which was coming loose. It was barely a dress; it looked more like a potato sack that had been made into a makeshift covering. She had no shoes on. Her straggly hair, hung down to her lower back and looked like it hadn’t been combed in weeks. Her tear streaked face was dirty. Her eyes spoke of heartache and loneliness. If you looked long enough into the depths of her eyes you could see the longing of her soul.

He watched her as she approached a young boy. She pulled from her pocket an old dirty cup. She held it out to him and asked if he could please fill it for her. As he filled it with parts of himself, her eyes began to shine and she smiled.

"Thank you very much sir," she said as she skipped away.

It wasn’t but a short distance until she became that same sullen, lonely little girl as before. Time and time again He watched the girl walk up and down the street asking to be filled by anyone who might pass her way but the joy she received never lasted very long.

He waited until He knew she was becoming weary.  He approached her and ask, "What is it that you need child?" She looked at Him with big sad eyes and said, "My cup won't stay full! Every time someone fills it with love and happiness it just flows out."

"Oh, my child," He said with love and tenderness, "you are filling it up with all the wrong things. Do you not know that if you would allow Me to fill it up with all that I am that it would never be empty again?"

Holding tightly to the cup she eagerly held it out to Him to be filled. "No child, you must let go of the cup. You must surrender it to me. Once surrender then I can fill it to overflowing and you will never feel empty again."

Quickly she pulled the cup back and held it tightly to her chest. How could she trust this man with her cherished cup? What if He took it and she still felt empty inside? At least with the cup there were moments of happiness, even if they were fleeting.

She looked up into His eyes. They were kind eyes, soft, and filled with such love. She looked down at her cup. It was empty, again. The ache in her heart was painful and she was growing weary of trying to keep it filled. Maybe she could trust Him. Maybe she would try.

Hesitantly she lifted the cup up to Him with her hands open. He took the cup from her and as He did she felt a joy deep inside that felt so wonderful that she thought she just might explode.

His eyes danced with joy as He watched her transform into a child that flowed with love, beauty and a joy that quickly become contagious to those around her.

The girl instantly became clean and filled with laughter. She rushed toward Him and held Him tightly, tears of joy streaming down her face. She was no longer empty. She no longer felt alone or unloved. She was filled to overflowing with His love. She was filled with Him.

 

“but whoever drinks the water I give him will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life." John 4:14

You have made known to me the paths of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence.' Acts 2:28

Grace in the Wilderness

When I was young the wilderness seemed wild and untamed.

It brought times of isolation and pain.

My soul would groan, ache and whine at the dry, cracked unbearable surroundings.

It seemed like punishment. Torture. Abandonment.

 

Now that I am older, more intimate with the wilderness I embrace it.

Now, even though it still brings isolation, I see God.

I see grace in the wilderness as it brings growth, renewal and humility.

It brings a deeper, closer more intimate walk with God.

 

"You shall remember all the way which the LORD your God has led you in the wilderness these forty years, that He might humble you, testing you, to know what was in your heart, whether you would keep His commandments or not. Deuteronomy 8:2-16

 

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This is part of the 2014 31 day writing  challenge over at the Nesting Place. You can check out my other post by clicking the image below.

Surrender to Grace

 

“Even though we are now in faith, the heart is always ready to boast itself before God and say, ‘After all, I have… lived so well and done so much that surely He will take this into account.’ We… want to haggle with God to make Him regard our life, but it cannot be done. With men you may boast, ‘I have done the best I could… If anything is lacking, I will still try to make recompense,’ but when you come before God, leave all that boasting at home. Remember to appeal from justice into grace. But let anybody try this and he will see and experience how exceedingly hard and bitter a thing it is… I myself have been preaching and cultivating [grace] through reading and writing for almost twenty years and still feel the old clinging dirt of wanting to deal so with God that I may contribute something so that He will give me His grace in exchange for my holiness. I just cannot get it into my head that I should surrender myself completely to sheer grace, yet I know that this is what I should and must do.”

- Martin Luther

 

 

Join me for 31 Days of Seeking Grace

Being Anxious for Nothing

Be anxious for nothing, but in everything, by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving let your request be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Phil 4:6-7

I am a processor. I over think much of life. It can be a good quality as I think through things and look at the current circumstance from all angles. I want to be on the look out for potential problems when trying to decide on a course of action. I want to try understand all the players. The problem is that often I over process and it begins down a trail that leads to being filled with what if’s. If I am not careful it can lead down a path that causes my heart to be anxious. I will begin to worry and focus on all the potential problems. There are far too many times that I can convince myself that a really good thing is a bad thing, or that I am not capable of doing it and I am frozen in indecision or just give up.

Being a processor isn’t a bad thing, but over processing often leads to sin. The sin of worry which then causes a lack of peace. Ultimately is leads to disobedience in the very thing God is asking you to do.

So how can I find peace in the midst of a crazy world? How can I find peace in the midst of a mind that wants to think and over think everything? How can peace guard my heart and mind?

The promise in Phil 4:7 is that the peace of God will guard our hearts and mind in Christ Jesus. The peace of God guards my heart and mind. But how? In order to gain the answer we must begin in verse 6.

Be anxious for nothing instead trust God with everything.. To be anxious means to worry. To be troubled about something. God is clearly telling us in the passage that we should not worry about anything. We should not worry about our life. (Matt 6:25-34) When we find ourselves in a dangerous situation we should not worry. (Matt 10:16-23) We shouldn’t worry about what words to speak when ask to defend our faith. (Luke 12:11)

No, on the contrary we are called to trust God in all things.(Ps 9:10, 31:14) We are called to commit each day to Him and trust in His promises. (Ps 37:3-5) We can trust Him while we face our enemy. (Ps 55:23) When we are afraid we can trust Him. (Ps 56:3-4,11)

The answer to being troubled or worrying is to put our trust in God. Trust Him at all times. Pour your heart out to Him. He is your refuge. (Ps 62:8)

Practice prayer and supplication through each thought. Seek God, bring your anxious thoughts to God. Ask Him to reveal to you what His words says. Ask Him to handle the things that threaten to overwhelm and worry you.

Take every thought, every concern for your life and offer it up to God with a surrendered heart. Tell Him that He is free to do whatever His will is, and mean it. Then just leave it there. If you find yourself taking it up again, then again, in prayer take it to God. Give it to Him and leave it. Repeat as often as needed until you have completely surrendered whatever you are worrying about.

Give thanks always. This doesn’t mean we must be thankful for the cancer diagnosis (or whatever) we are facing, but we can find things to be thankful for. Give thanks for what God will do. That He heard your cries, answered your prayers. Give thanks for Him, His character and attributes.

When we begin to focus on God and who He is we find less room to worry about things we have no control over.

Peace in Jesus. And last but certainly not least we find another clue in verse 7 on how to find peace. It’s found in Christ Jesus. In other words, my thinking about it, over processing it will not help find peace. In fact there is nothing in me that can find peace. I can’t solve the crisis. I can’t control the situation. In fact I am pretty helpless in and of myself to find any peace at all. It’s only in Christ Jesus that peace is found.

It’s resting in Him that I find peace. It’s turning it all over and surrendering it all to Him. It’s knowing that He has got this. He is trustworthy. He is good. (Ps 34:12; 84:11; 107:9; Heb 9:11)

I am not saying or trying to make it sound easy, it is not. Especially for this processing mind of mine. What I am saying is that I am learning to stop over thinking and just give it over to God. I am learning that when I begin to dwell on, and over think an issue it can show a lack of trust in a God who promises to work out the good in all things. (Rom 8:28-29) It’s learning to surrender each and every thought to His will and trust Him.

Weeds of Insecurity

My insecurities showed up big time this weekend. I began to look around and it seemed there are those who are doing really important things. They are doing big, grand things for God.

I overheard a conversation where these words were spoken, “it’s the beautiful people, the educated, those with power and status, that get to do the big things.” I know it was their own insecurities, and maybe hurt, that spoke those words but still they found their way deep into my heart and began to take root. They took root in the soil of my own insecurities that tell me quite often that I am not enough.

I allowed the roots a place to grow deep and take hold of my heart for most the day. I wondered why those who were highly educated seemed to always be recognized, and esteemed for what they were doing. Does God really prefer the one with degrees over the one without? Seeds of renewed doubt grew. I questioned my purpose, my value. What do I have to offer? What can I do? It felt like yet another door slammed into my face because I have no degree. Once again I am not enough. I lack value to be used by the church, by those in power.

In the midst of this root growing to the point of almost strangling me to death I felt the warmth of truth begin to flow through my spirit. I knew my thoughts were being plagued with lies. Discouraging lies that threaten to render me useless. And as those lies fought for control, fought to be heard, the truth battled harder. The truth would not give up until it silenced the lies.

What is the truth? I am beloved of God and He has a purpose for me. Psalm 139 reminds me that before the foundations of the world He knew me. In my mother’s womb He formed me. I have a purpose. I am enough in God’s eyes. I have value and I am very much loved.

The truth is, regardless of my status in society, or my education I am called by God to be a light to a very dark world. I am called to obey, to sacrifice, to give my life as an offering to Him. For some that might mean big and grand things. It might mean being worldly famous and traveling to a foreign land. For others it might mean wiping a tear of a child who lost her mother.

This is the truth God impressed upon me in the midst of my insecurities. Each of His children are doing big, important work. Whether you are a doctor helping cure a disease in Africa, a counselor healing the wounded, a woman cooking a meal for the sick or one that feeds a homeless person as you walk to work God sees all. He does not value one over the other. In fact what God values most is a heart that is fully His, a heart that is abandoned to His will, what ever that will might be.

Finally, I was reminded that it does not matter what men think. God does not care about your qualifications or lack of them. He is the One who will qualify those He calls...those willing to do whatever He wills. So I need to go in confidence and DO what He has called me to do and stop looking at what others are doing for Him. What He calls them to do is none of my concern. But at the same time don’t let anyone tell me that I can't do what He has called ME to.

I came across this poem this morning and it just seemed to be a fitting reminder that we are all famous to someone, in our own way, using the gifts and abilities God has given us.

 

BY NAOMI SHIHAB NYE
The river is famous to the fish.
The loud voice is famous to silence,
which knew it would inherit the earth
before anybody said so.
The cat sleeping on the fence is famous to the birds
watching him from the birdhouse.
The tear is famous, briefly, to the cheek.
The idea you carry close to your bosom
is famous to your bosom.
The boot is famous to the earth,
more famous than the dress shoe,
which is famous only to floors.
The bent photograph is famous to the one who carries it
and not at all famous to the one who is pictured.
I want to be famous to shuffling men
who smile while crossing streets,
sticky children in grocery lines,
famous as the one who smiled back.
I want to be famous in the way a pulley is famous,
or a buttonhole, not because it did anything spectacular,
but because it never forgot what it could do.

 

Joining….

Too Independent for My Own Good

I don’t know what made me think I didn’t need help. But there I was six years old walking the three miles home from school. I missed my bus and instead of telling anyone I just began the journey home. We lived near the State Penitentiary and my journey took me through the work release site of the prisoners.

I don’t remember being afraid. Of course I didn’t understand all the possible dangers that lurked out there. I was confident I knew the way home. I was only about a half mile from home when a neighbor saw me, took me home and called my mother.

She had been frantic when I didn’t get off the bus. She started crying, first tears of joy then anger. I understand now that I have raised children, but at the time I didn’t see what all the fuss was about.

I remember looking at her and saying, “Momma, I am fine.” “I was almost home.” She told me I was too independent for my own good.

Too independent for my own good. That about sums up my life.

Seems I have always thought I could handle my problems on my own. I didn’t need anyone’s help. I would just figure it out myself.

That independent, figuring out how to handle life in my own way, attitude has left me with a lot of heart aches. Too many wrong choices that have scars. But it also left me with no other choice but to follow Jesus when I met Him.

My life, my choices, hadn’t been working out very well. Maybe He would know the way.

I’ve been following Him for a long time now. I wish I could say I’ve learned not to be so independent.

Too often I still think I know better. I still try to do things my own way.

I can still be too independent for my own good. But here is the beauty of it all. Here is the wonder of following the One who knows the way I should go. The One who died for my sins. He journeys with me.

He is patiently revealing my sinful independence. My “I can do this myself” attitude. It’s in this process I continue to learn to let go and trust Him. I learn to surrender my will for His will.

He continually asks me to surrender and trust those places that I cling to and as I obey I find that He provides my deepest needs.

It’s a journey, but I am following the One who knows the way home. I am learning to be dependent on the One who knows and sees the dangers that my independence can bring.

He sees my deepest need for Him and is faithful to bring whatever is needed into my life in order to remind me of my need for total surrender. For that I am grateful.

Today I am joining…

   

If I Love Him...

I love the little things in life. Sometime we miss those things that seem unimportant and yet when we really pay attention we see just how important they are.

Little things, like conjunctions.

In John 15  there is the little conjunction “if” and while I know God’s love of me is not conditional, this little word helps me to evaluate if I really love God.

If I love God then rest assured my life will show it. Yes there may be times of failure and inconsistencies but there should be a genuine pursuit of these things in my life as a result of my love for God.

If I love Him…

I will keep His commandments/words. (John 14:16,23; 15:10)
I will  abide in Him and I will bear fruit. (15:4-5)
I will  lay down my life for Him. (15:12)
I will be hated by the world. (15:18)
I will be persecuted. (15:20)
I will testify of Christ (15:27)

We  need to ask ourselves a few questions, "Does my life show that I love Jesus? Do I allow Him to mold and change me? Am I bearing fruit? Am I keeping His commandments? Am I willing to lay down my life for the life He calls me to?"

These can be hard questions but we must be willing to ask them and to allow the Holy Spirit to speak into those areas where we do not see growth.

Oh Father help me to love you not just in what I say, or write, but help me live a life that testifies of my love for You. Amen

I Am But Clay

Sometimes it’s a bit too easy to forget that I am but clay. It seems rather silly to think that clay could ever possibly do anything on it’s own and yet I try. Forgive me Father.

Oh Father help me to surrender completely to Your hands as you mold me into the woman you desire. Oh how I want to put away any thoughts of what I think I should do or be and yet yield to you.

My heart is often so stubborn, forgive me. Help me surrender completely to Your grace. A grace that works daily in my life to make me more like Your son.

You are my Father, I am but clay, You are the potter. Mold me, make me, help me to surrender to Your hands.

His Grace is Enough

There are days I am overwhelmed with this life.

All sorts of doubts plague my mind.

I am assaulted with lies and insults within.

My self talk seems bent on destroying the truth I know.

I see my weaknesses.

I understand the powerlessness of self to be different than I am.

Then I am reminded that Christ has said, “…My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness."

But still I strive to be, to change and yet it is impossible apart from His grace. It is His work in me that I must surrender to. So I choose to glory in my weaknesses knowing that it is the power of Christ dwelling in me that can change me.

So I must choose to surrender to His power, His grace, for it alone is enough. It’s all I need.

“…My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me. Therefore I am well content with weaknesses, with insults, with distresses, with persecutions, with difficulties, for Christ's sake; for when I am weak, then I am strong.” 2 Corinthians 12:9-10

Suffering More Than We Can Handle

I am not sure the first time I heard it, but I thought it was something being quoted from the Bible.  I was going through a particularly hard time. I felt overwhelmed, battered and broken. I didn’t know how much more I could stand. My little world had come crashing down.

It was then I heard this, “Don’t worry God will not give you more than you can handle. He will provide a way through this.”
They were words meant to encourage, to give hope. I thought, “Okay God we can do this together.”

It wasn’t okay.  My circumstances grew worse until I was a crumbled mess on the floor crying out to God, “STOP! It’s too much!” “Mercy! I give up, just take me home now!” I truly was at the end. I didn’t think I could handle one more thing and yet God’s plan was to keep piling it on.

I didn’t understand. If God doesn’t give us more than we can handle and if He always provides a way through then why was my life so out of control? Why did it seem I had more than I could possibly handle? Was I weak? Was there sin in my life that God was trying to purge? Was He trying to teach me something and I was just too stubborn? While the answers to these questions could be a resounding YES! I have come to realize the lie that was spoken and has been spoken every time someone speaks that little phrase.

The Bible doesn’t say that God will not give us more than we can handle. It isn’t anywhere. I have looked and looked. It’s just not there.

Many will point you to 1 Cor 10:13 which says that He will not allow you to be tempted beyond that which you can bear. He will always provide a way for us to escape temptation. It does not say anything about suffering or trials.

In fact the Bible says just the opposite. We read in 1 Cor 1:8-12 we read Paul’s letter saying that he was burdened excessively, beyond his strength. So much so that he thought he was going to die. Paul goes on to say that he suffered to the point that he could not trust in himself, in his strength or abilities but he could trust in the God who raises the dead. He trusted in the One who He knew could deliver him.

It wasn’t an attitude of, “Okay God, it’s you and me in this together.” No Paul released it all into God’s hands. He set his hope in the One who would and could deliver him. He always reminds the people that it was their prayers that got them through.

If God doesn’t give me more than I can handle then why do I need Him? I could do it in my own strength and wouldn’t need to rely on Him. But He does give us more than we can handle. He can and often does bring us to the point we too, despair of life. But why? Why would God want us to suffer and hurt?

I went back to the same passage for the answer. I saw two things at work.

1. It causes me to trust in God alone. It brings me to the end of myself, to the point I realize that I am indeed weak and can do nothing apart from Him. Suffering causes me to place our confidence in nothing and no one but Him. I must set my hope on Him alone.
2. It allows others to join in helping me through their prayers. When I enlist the prayers of the saints I am saying that I need help. I can not do this alone. I need you.

Neither of these are easy. Pride often gets in the way. I want to be independent and have the ability to handle life’s crisis. I want to be strong. I don’t want to come across as needy.

The truth is when I try I often fail and make things worse. I also miss out on all God desires to do in me and through me. When I surrender all to God and seek the prayers of others when God does lead me through the suffering I can not say that I did it. In fact I must give all glory to God and praise Him for I am aware of just how weak I am. I am needy and in desperate need of a God who works in and through me.

Dear sister or brother are you struggling today? Do you feel you might be going down for the last time? Surrender it all to God. Just give it to Him. Admit you are weak and can not do it. Place your trust in His abilities and His power. Have the hope that God promises to deliver you. Just stop trying to fix your life and give it over to the One who can. 

For we do not want you to be unaware, brethren, of our affliction which came to us in Asia, that we were burdened excessively , beyond our strength, so that we despaired even of life; indeed, we had the sentence of death within ourselves so that we would not trust in ourselves, but in God who raises the dead ;who delivered us from so great a peril of death, and will deliver us, He on whom we have set our hope. And He will yet deliver us, you also joining in helping us through your prayers, so that thanks may be given by many persons on our behalf for the favor bestowed on us through the prayers of many. 2 Cor 1:8-11 (emphasis mine)

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Bible translation used NASB

If You Love Me…

Sometimes when I sit and read the word of God it speaks so simply and I wonder how can the reader not understand? It’s so straight forward, the truth so obvious.   This morning was one of those times.

I sat down to read John 14, taking a break from Acts. This weekend we had a special speaker, one of our missionaries. He spoke on John 15 and as he brought forth the truth my heart was deeply pricked. It wasn’t a new truth, but I heard the Father ask a simple question of my heart. “Do you love me? Do you love me enough to allow me to prune you? Do you love me enough to allow me to lift up those parts of your life that are lying in the mud? Do you love me enough to allow me to reattach those places that no longer bear fruit?” (John15:1-6)

These are not easy questions. They trouble my heart. I am troubled because I am aware that if I truly loved Him the answer would be a whole hearted, “yes!”. Instead I think of how tired I am, how discouraged I have been and I think to my self, “maybe the pain, the surrender, the dying to self isn’t worth it”.

The Spirit speaks to my spirit and reminds me, “You have a Helper. You are not alone. “Do not let your heart be troubled; believe in God, believe also in Me.” (John 14:1)

I realize my thinking isn’t truth so I open the book of Truth and read John chapter 14.

This is Truth. Jesus is preparing a place for me with His Father. Jesus reminds me that He is THE way, THE truth and THE life and that no one comes to know the Father but through Him. (14:6) Jesus reminds me that if I truly believe in Him and the works that He does He will do even greater works in me and through me. All I need to do is ask in His name. And finally I am reminded that if I love Him I will keep His commandments. (14:15)

If I love Him? Of course I love Him! How could there even be a doubt in my mind?

“Do you love Me enough to allow Me to prune you?”

My heart is heavy and I see my sin, my weakness, my unwillingness to pay the cost of loving Him, of following Him.

I surrender. I confess. Again I am encouraged, by the words of Jesus. Through His word encouragement comes when He speaks to all and says that If you love Me not only will you keep my commandments but…

I will send a Helper to help you (14:16)

The Helper will abide with you and in you (14:17)

Jesus will not leave you (18)

Because He lives you live (19)

He is in His Father and you in Him and He is in you (20)

Jesus goes on to say that if we love Him we will -

Keep His commandments and will be loved by Him and the Father (21)

We will keep His word and the Father will love him (23)

We will come to Him and abide in Him (23)

Do I love Him? With great humility and honesty I must admit that at times my life and my thoughts testify against my love for Him. But I do love Him. I believe in Him, His words, His truth, His love for me. With all my life I choose to follow Him and count the cost, whatever it may be.

So yes, prune me, lift me up out of the mud, show me the areas of my life that have fallen from You. Teach me the things I still need to know, to see and to confess.

Oh Father I am forever in Your debt. These words that I have written seems so hollow in compared to all that I owe you. Help me. Remind me I am not alone in the pruning process. You have sent me Your Helper. He will teach me. He will remind me of all that You have said.  Father help me to live a life that shows I love You. Help me to do exactly what You command me to do. Help me to live like Jesus. Amen.

Thinking of Self Less

Currently I am reading a book called The Freedom of Self-Forgetfulness by Timothy Keller and came across this little gem that pricked my heart,

"...the essence of gospel-humility is not thinking more of myself or thinking less of myself, it is thinking of myself less...it means I stop connecting every experience, every conversation, with myself. In fact, I stop thinking about myself...and think of others more. "¹

I wondered “how often do I think of self in a single day”? How often do I think of others?

Can I honestly say that I think of ways to pray or encourage others more than I think of myself? To be perfectly honest I don’t like what I see. I definitely could do better.

I want a gospel-humility. I want to live my life thinking of myself less. Self often screams out to be heard, to be fed and I quickly realize how hard this will be. To live a life that does not think of self? 

I can NOT do this.  At least not on my own. It is only through Christ that I am able. But I so desperately want to change. I want to be more like Christ.

Keller says “The more we get to understand the gospel, the more we want to change.”¹ I find this to be true. Since the beginning of the year it seems that all the books I’ve read, all that God has showed me leads to one word, the Gospel. The gospel of Jesus Christ. A gospel that I need to preach to myself everyday.

I want to change. I want to allow God to go deeper into my heart in order to mold me and shape me. I pray for it and ask God to remove any pride or false humility from my life. I pray that He would lead me to a place where I think more of others and think of myself less. I want my life to be centered around the cross, Jesus and the gospel.

Oh Jesus help me to die to self. If there is any pride, false pride or false humility in my heart Jesus I ask that You remove it. Show me how to live filled up with You so that I can live with a gospel-humility attitude. Help me to die to ME!

 

 

¹ Keller, Timothy'; The Freedom of Self Forgetfulness pages 32,34

To Finish Well

In my last blog post I shared how King Asa was a king that sought the Lord. He removed idols from the kingdom and He restored the things in house of God.

I shared “…the LORD is with you when you are with Him. And if you seek Him, He will let you find Him; but if you forsake Him, He will forsake you.” (2 Chron 15:2) God was with the King. God gives Asa a reign of peace, without war. We are even told that King “…Asa's heart was blameless...” (2 Chron 15:7)

At this point you could say that King Asa was off to a good start. A life that pleases God. A life that seeks God in all he does. He was running his race and he was winning, so to speak. He was living a life of peace in the land. But if you read verse 19 of chapter 15 you see that things change in the 35th year of his reign.

Beginning in 2 Chron 16 we see that war breaks out. Now you would think that King Asa would remember that in the past God helped them defeat an army of a million men. (16:8-9) King Asa had prayed to God (16:11) for help and God answered. (16:12-15) But this time when war comes King Asa takes matters into his own hands. He doesn’t seek God’s counsel. He makes a treaty with the king of Aram.

Was he over confident in his own abilities? Had he became complacent during those 30 plus years of peace? Scripture doesn’t tell us why this change in Asa. All we know for sure is that when he was in trouble this time he relied on man (King Aram) for help. So we know something in the heart of Asa had changed. King Asa did not win this battle. God was displeased.

2 Chron 16:7 tells us “…Hanani the seer came to Asa king of Judah and said to him, "Because you have relied on the king of Aram and have not relied on the LORD your God, therefore the army of the king of Aram has escaped out of your hand.” Hanani goes on to remind Asa of the time he has sought the Lord in war and God has answered." and then says “For the eyes of the LORD move to and fro throughout the earth that He may strongly support those whose heart is completely His. You have acted foolishly in this. Indeed, from now on you will surely have wars” (16:9)

I don’t know about you but I like happy endings. Unfortunately King Asa didn’t finish well. He did not have a happy ending to his life. At this point King Asa could have fallen before the Lord in humility and confessed that he had sinned against God. But King Asa did not. Instead he became angry and put the seer in prison. Scripture says he was “Enraged”. He was so upset that not only did he take his anger out on the seer but he also oppressed some of the people. (16:10-11)

Because of King Asa’s actions God choose to give him a disease of his feet. 2 Chronicles says in 16:12 that the disease was severe but even in this King Asa did not seek the Lord. Instead he choose to put his trust in the physicians. Two years later King Asa would die. 

As I look at King Asa’s life I wonder about my own walk on this earth. Do I seek God’s council or man’s? Who do I most often put my trust in? My dear sisters I don’t know about you but I want to finish well. I want to come to the end of my life and know that I have finished my race. I want to know that I have ran it with endurance. (Heb 12:1) I do not want to be one that shrinks back but one that has faith to preserve. (Heb:35-39)

How can I persevere to the end? I am sure my list is NOT exhaustive but this is what came to my mind as I was reflecting on Asa’s poor finish.

God wants a heart that is completely His. 2Chron16:9 God doesn’t want bits and pieces of our lives that we are willing to give Him, He wants access to all of our life. God wants someone who seeks Him and Him alone. Our whole life belongs to Him.

Our confidence must be in God. Hebrews chapter 10:35 says Therefore don’t throw your confidence away. But then what should we place our confidence in? Hebrew 10:1-34 tells us to place our confidence in Jesus Christ whose sacrifice is sufficient for us all. Our confidence is in the power of a living God who was raised from the dead.

We need endurance. We must understand that times in this life will be hard. We WILL have struggles, trials and temptations. When we face circumstances that seem impossible we need to persevere through it in the strength of Christ. We can not run to man (or woman) but we must run to God. (Heb. 10)

Remember past victories.  Hebrews 11 gives us a long list of those who persevered in their faith. We see men and women who faced unbelievable circumstances and yet they kept there faith in the God who would deliver them. Then in Heb. 12:1a we are told “Therefore, since we have so great a cloud of witnesses surrounding us…” Remember the pass victories of others and in your own life. Believe that if God worked things out before He is working things out now.

Lay aside this life. Hebrews 12:1b says “let us also lay aside every encumbrance and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us.” I think it’s fairly self explanatory and yet not always so easily done. But we must pursue a life that lives separated from things in this world. WE must stay away from those things or people that easily distract us and ends up getting us entangled in to sin. We must lay aside our selfish desires and press on toward a life that finishes well.

Oh Father help me to run my race with endurance. Help me to lay aside those things that keep me from running a good race. Show me those places in my heart that I have held from you. Father I desire to to run a race that is pleasing to You. I want a heart that is wholly yours, a heart that seeks you and you alone. And yet I am so weak. I give in so easily to my flesh!

“O LORD, there is no one besides You to help in the battle between the powerful and those who have no strength ; so help me, O LORD my God, for I trust in You” 2 Chron 14:11