Be A Peacemaker

  The commitment to make peace is highly valued throughout the Bible, but what does it mean to be a peacemaker? 

Biblically, a peacemaker is someone who reconciles people who are in conflict. The heart of Jesus' earthly mission was to make peace between God and those who would come to Him through faith. He did this by offering Himself as a sacrifice. His sacrifice made a way for God and man to have peace.  

As I think about this I am reminded that in order to be a peacemaker we may have to make sacrifices of our own. We may need to lay down our pride. Peace/harmony among believers is of the upmost importance. It shows the world Jesus. 

Conflict always comes but when it does will you be a peacemaker? Will you seek peace or ignore the conflict? Will you fight for unity among the body? 

God’s children should always be on the side of making peace.  

How Well Do You Love?

Today love means so many different things. It’s thrown around so casually. How many times in a week do I hear, "love you"? If we really believed the words you would think everyone loves everyone. It would be like we all live in one big love fest! Yet our actions often show something so different. 

As a society, and a church and as individuals I believe we have lost the ability to love as we ought. Maybe not lost, but forgotten. We lost the meaning of what it truly means to love. One simple question helps us to see this.  Do our actions back up the love we say we have for our brother’s and sister’s in Christ? Our enemies? Those who believe differently than us?

So what is love? When I go to the Word of God I am reminded of what love looks like. It is selfless. Putting others before my own desires. Love is being kind, patience and giving grace. Love forgives, is loyal and always expects the best of the other. (1 Cor 13)

Do these words describe the way I treat my brothers and sisters in the Lord? All of them? Even the ones who I might not agree with? Even the ones who have hurt me? Am I kind to those I disagree with? What about those who are different than me? Those that look different? Talk differently? Live differently? What about those who are outside the faith? Do I show them love? Do I speak in kindness? Do accept them for where they are and just show the love of Christ to them?

What of the other verses on love? Can I truly love as Christ calls me to? The answer is no. In fact as I read the below list on how I am to treat others I quickly realize just how impossible it is. I can not love like this. At least on my own. It is only through Christ that I am able.

God says that

• I am to be devoted to my brothers and sisters in Christ. He says that we are to honor others above ourselves.
• Be willing to teach and admonish one another.
• Love one another, deeply from the heart.
• We are to live in harmony with all regardless of their social status.
• We should stop passing judgment on one another.
• We are to bring praise to God by accepting one another.
• We should be united in mind and thought.
• We should be willing to serve one another.
• We need to be humble, gentle, and patient with one another.
• Be kind, compassionate and forgiving toward our brothers and sisters.
• We should have a willingness to submit to one another.
• We are to live in harmony with one another; be sympathetic, love as family, be compassionate and humble.
• We are to offer hospitality to one another without complaining.
• Love one another....
  

(Rom 12:10,12:16,14:13; 1Co 1:10; Ga 5:13; Eph 4:2,4:32,5:21; Col 3:13,16; 1Th 5:11; Heb 10:25; 1Pe 1:22,3:8,4:9; 1John 3:11,4:12; 2John 1:5)

My love would be is selfish apart from His Holy Spirit living in me. My love is not only selfish but can be needy and demanding. I (we) often demand others to think, behave and belief as we do in order for us to love. But this is not love. In fact when I read what God says about love I realize it has NOTHING to do with me.

His kind of love is all about others. His kind of love sacrifices self.

Love is a willingness to serve, not be served. Love is about dying to my wants, needs and expectations. Love is not only saying I love you but showing it. Love is putting my plans aside to be with a friend who needs a shoulder. Love is inviting someone to dinner who may need a friend, whether or not they ever invite you to their home. Love is giving of your time and your resources to help those outside your circle of friends. Love is giving a smile, a hug, a simple touch on the arm and letting someone know you care.

Let’s stop just saying “I love you” and start showing it. And by showing it I mean showing it to the point that our gift of love is a sacrifice. After all it is the example Christ gave us of love.

Oh Jesus help me to die to self. To my expectations, my selfish desires. Help me to die to ME! I want to love deeply, sacrificially, without prejudice. I want to show love like Jesus shows life, but laying down my life for others. Oh Spirit help me to be truly willing and obedient.

Community of Hurts

Honesty within community is not easy. And yet we are called to walk in light, in truth and confess our sins one to another. (1 John 1:6-7; James 5:7) But we’ve all been there before. We’ve shared our struggles, confessed our sin and ask for help only to be rejected, judged, criticized, misunderstood or worse. Let’s just be honest, community is filled with hurt people who often hurt people.

So we are challenged, once again, to live in transparency within community and we wonder….

What if I am too much? What if I am not enough? What if my sins are too great? What if I am betrayed, criticized, or rejected when you see the real me?

If I share my struggles will you be the one to encourage or tear down? If you see my weaknesses will you help strengthen me or use them against me?

These are the questions that go through our minds and it causes us to withdraw and remember the past. Past hurts. Past betrayals, rejections and sins.

And I wonder is this the enemy’s plan? What a great plan it is! To have us focus on self, to focus on the past. I mean seriously, if we are so focused on what has been done to the point that we are unwilling to reach out in love, grace and friendship then he has successfully stopped community.

I am reminded that Jesus was criticized, misunderstood, betrayed and abandoned by those that were His friends. Some of His friends had a hard time truly seeing the real Jesus but instead saw what they wanted Him to be. Yet Jesus kept them close, loved them, walked along side of them and would go to the cross for them. And because He did their lives would never be the same.

I wonder what would happen inside the church walls if we did what Jesus did? What if we loved even when an unkind word about us was spoken? What if, when we were criticized, judged or rejected, we offered grace? What if, instead of pulling away, we moved forward? What if we stopped hiding? What if we died to ourselves and our hurts and embraced others?

What if we began seeing others as Jesus sees them? After all they most likely have been hurt too and are in need of a bit of love, grace and encouragement. We all have been hurt by an imperfect community, I really don’t think there are any exceptions. So they don’t need more hurt, they need to see Jesus in us and through us.

What if instead of fearing what man might do or say we fear God? I believe that we would be changed. All of us. We would not, could not remain the same.

As I write this I realize how hard it is. No one wants to choose to move toward possible hurt or rejection. I know I don’t. I would rather stay where it’s safe, where I know I am loved and accepted. I would rather stay in the safety of my home surrounded by my family. And yet Jesus hasn’t called us to safe, He called us to love one another. He has called us to community. .

Oh Father we can not do what you ask. We can not open ourselves up to hurt again. Forgive us for how we have treated one another. Help us make amends where possible. Send Your Spirit upon us and fill us with Your love and grace. Cause us to overflow unto others with the gifts You have given us. Help us to live honestly and truthfully with our brothers and sisters with all wisdom and discernment.

30 Days of Marriage Thankfulness

I’ve been posting thankful updates on Facebook this month and decided that I should list them all in one place and since it's the month of our Anniversary (on the 26th) I thought I would focus on what I am thankful for in regards to my marriage. I am sure I'll have no problems coming up with 30 reasons I am thankful for being married or for my husband.

I share the below not to hold my marriage up as some sort of perfect example. It’s far from perfect. We have struggled and continue to struggle, but we struggle together. Even in the hardest, most difficult moments of our marriage we keep working to make it better. To get through the tough times takes a willingness to lay it all out, talk about it, walk through it and come out on the other side stronger. But, and this is a really BIG BUT, none of this is possible apart from God who works individually in our hearts and our marriage. So really it’s all about what God has done in our marriage. It’s about me (well really both of us) surrendering my heart, mind, body, and soul to the will of God. As we surrender to God we are better able to be the husband/wife we need to be.

Marriage is about the husband and wife dying daily to their wants and desires and following Christ. As we do this we often find ourselves more willing to put the other before ourselves.

Anyway, I didn’t mean to write a whole blog post I just wanted to list all the reason I am thankful for my husband and my marriage.

I am thankful for...

Day 1- the kindness of my husband.
Day 2 - his emotional strength and support during the hard times.
Day 3 - his strength of character and integrity.
Day 4 - a marriage that God uses to refine my heart and draw me closer to Him

Day 5: a husband who knows how to make me smile (even when I don't want to). Life with him is filled with so much joy even in the midst of sorrow, pain, and trials.

Day 6:  a marriage that is filled with love, friendship, forgiveness, grace, patience, laughter, and most of all God.

Day 7: the friendship I have with my husband. He is truly my best friend for life.

Day 8: my husband who loves me in those moments I don't think I am being very lovable.

Day 9: He is my hero. He is a blessing to my life.

Day 10: my husband who has faithfully worked hard to provide for our family but even more thankful that he has made choices to put his family and wife over his job/career.

Day 11:  for a marriage that consist of a 3 strand cord. My husband, my self and God.

And if one can overpower him who is alone, two can resist him. A cord of three strands is not quickly torn apart. (Ecc 4:12)

Day 12: I am thankful I get to journey along side my husband and watch him grow, change and draw into a deeper relationship with Christ. It's through my husband I have learned to love deeper and understand God's love for me in a richer way. I am blessed.

Day 13: I love the way he looks at me after all these years and calls me beautiful. I am thankful that he sees me, on good and bad days, and still loves me.

Day 14: that he is faithful. Faithful to our marriage vows, to me, to God, and our family.

Day 15: I am thankful my husband does most (if not all) of the outside work...especially when it's freezing cold out there!

Day 16: I am thankful that within the marriage relationship I have learned, and continue to learn, that it's in those difficult, hard and often times painful moments of life that we grow the most.

Day 17: I am thankful that marriage has taught me to live less selfishly, with greater compassion and love. It has also taught me I sill have much to learn....and room to grow.

Day 18: I am thankful he chose me!! Seriously, for those who do not know our story, he had every right to give up, and yet he kept loving, pursuing and still chose to marry me!

Day 19: So thankful that my husband is there for me when I need to talk and talk or when I need to just sit in silence. I'm pretty sure he likes the silence better, but he is a great listener, sounding board and advice giver.

Day 20: I am thankful for grace. Grace in my marriage. Neither one of us are perfect. Our marriage is far from perfect. We fail, disagree and have wrong attitudes and yet we continue to love, work it out and offer grace. Again not perfectly, we are very aware of our imperfections and sins that cause our marriage to be imperfect. But, even more so, we are aware of a God who empowers us, forgives us, and pours out grace daily in order for our marriage to grow to be what God wants it to be.

Day 21: I am thankful for my children, daughters in law and grandchildren. I am proud of each and every one of them. They are amazing blessings, fruit of our love, marriage and commitment. I give God alone the glory for what He has done.

Day 22: I am thankful that God has been faithful in helping us keep the promise we made to one another on our wedding day.

Day 23: I am thankful my husband is a patient man.

Day 24: I am thankful...today my heart just overflows with thankfulness for blessings too many to list, blessing undeserved...God's grace which He pours upon me is amazing.

Day 25: Almost daily he snuggles up close and whispers in my ear, “You are beautiful!”

Day 26: Today we celebrate 31 years of love, family, joy, friendship, togetherness, but along with these we have also had losses, heartaches, conflict, hard times, disappointments, hurt and sorrow. For all this we can be thankful. We give thanks for all these for we know, and have seen, God work out His purposes through both.

Day 27: I am grateful for two couples in particular who, in our early years of marriage, spoke truth to us, prayed with and for us and modeled what a godly marriage should be. But through the years God has brought many godly couples into our lives as examples and I am thankful for each of them.

Day 28: I am grateful to my church, especially the pastors, who continually preach the truth of God's word when it come to the covenant marriage relationship. And challenge us often on how we are to treat one another as husbands and wives.

Day 29: I am grateful that having a good marriage isn't solely based on what I do or don't do. It's about allowing God to be in control and center of my life. I need to surrender my life to a God who continues to work in and through me to be the wife He desires me to be. I am thankful He hasn't given up on my sometime stubborn heart.

Day 30: Our marriage isn’t perfect. I don’t have a perfect husband. I am not the perfect wife. But we do have a perfect God who daily works in us. I am thankful that for 31 years God is the one who has held us together.

Do You Love The Church?

Sometimes my mind gets ahold of something and I just can’t stop thinking about it. I begin to look at it from all different angles mulling it over and over until it reaches the depths of my heart. I usually don’t share my thoughts with just anyone while still in the process of mulling it over. But this time I am feeling led to.

I’ve been bothered by a thought every since a recent sermon. Our pastor reminded us that we are called to love one another as Christ loves us. And by the love I give to my brother's and sisters in Christ my neighbors (and the world) will know I am His disciple. (John 13:34-35) If I love my brothers and sisters in Christ then I will love my neighbor and the world will see I am His disciple.

So my neighbor, co-workers, unsaved family and the world will know I am a Christian by how I love my brothers and sisters in Christ. I don’t know about you but at times that is hard to do. I mean I do love the body of Christ.

But when we have to bring it down to the individual, sometimes it gets a bit harder doesn’t it?

You know the individual Christian I am talking about. The one who seems to grate on your very last nerve. The one who seems to always have a word of criticism to speak. The one who has to do everything bigger and better than everyone else. The one who bullies his/her way through a meeting. The one who takes credit for something you did. The one who _________ (you fill in the blank).

So the question I am asking myself today is this, "Do I really love my brothers and sisters in Christ?" Can the world look at my life and see my love for them? Or are they more apt to see criticism and arguing over petty differences? Are they more apt to see bullies who try to push people around in order to get their own way? Those who are more concerned about their agenda instead of God’s?

I am asking the hard questions of my heart today. Asking God to search my heart for wrong motives and desires when it comes to loving my church community. Am I truly loving them as Christ loves me?

Seems God keeps challenging me with this verse...seriously some days I wish my mind didn't think so much!! "If someone says, "I love God," and hates his brother, he is a liar; for the one who does not love his brother whom he has seen, cannot love God whom he has not seen." (1 John 4:20) We are a liar if we say that we love God but hate our brother. Brother here means those of the Bride of Christ, the Christian who sits in the pew next to you each Sunday. The Christian, who if you are really honest, you don’t particularly like.

If we aren't showing (that is an action and not just saying it) love to our brothers and sisters in Christ then do we really love them?

Yes, we need to show love to our neighbors, to those we meet on the street, to the unsaved around the world BUT if we are not showing love to those in the body of Christ then what good is it? How will the WORLD know the love of our Savior if we can’t even love one another?

How will the world know Christ if His children can not even treat one another with grace, love, mercy, compassion and kindness?

I’ll even go one step further what good is it if we send our time, money, and resources to brothers and sister in Christ around the world if we can’t even love those within our own body of Christ?

How can we say that we love God and yet treat those within the body so badly?

Father forgive me for the times I treat my brothers and sisters sinfully. Forgive us, Your Church for being so petty and fighting over things that just aren’t pleasing to you. Father help us. We so desperately need Your help, for we are a sinful, and stubborn people. May we humble ourselves before you and offer our hearts, our attitudes and our very life up to you as a sacrifice. Mold us, make us into a church that shines Your light brightly.

Words of Grace

…Let your speech always be with grace… Col 4:6

There was a time in my life that I prayed that I might be a woman with a gracious spirit. That my mouth would pour out words of grace. I suppose I’ve grown in this area, but it’s still a prayer and a constant work of the Holy Spirit in my life.

Too often my words are blunt, to the point and lack grace. I was once told that I have no trouble speaking truth but lack the love part of it. At first I thought, “but I am saying this because I love you. I am speaking truth in love.” I was saying it as nice as I could. I knew my motives were right. I had spent much time in prayer. But the person still felt I lacked love in my delivery of truth. It’s taken me a long time to understand what they really meant is that my words lacked grace.

To be honest I still struggle and at times just choose to be silent for fear of being misunderstood. I realize that words and motives are misunderstood even if we’ve said them with grace and love. I realize that sometimes people hear something we never said. They misinterpret what was said and we can’t always be responsible for what people think they hear.

Still, I desire my words to be grace filled. I want my words to give grace to those who hear. (Eph 4:29)

Jerry Bridges reminds us in Transforming Grace that “…we cannot exercise grace as God does, but we can relate to one another as those who have received grace and who wish to operate on the principles of grace.” This is my prayer, that I might “operate on the principle of prayer.”

But what does that look like? Grace is seen in our lives when we express gratitude, contentment, humility, forbearance and forgiveness.

If I speak to someone with an attitude of self-importance or self righteousness then I am not being gracious in my speech. I also can’t speak to someone with an attitude that comes across as if I have a right to. Grace gives up it’s right to be right.

I can speak words of grace when I allow God’s love to flow out of me. I can speak words of grace when my heart is open toward others and invite them in to a safe place. A place that allows them to make mistakes or have weakness. Grace allow a person room to grow.

In truth it comes down to this, my words will never be filled with grace if I run ahead without God leading. I must be willing to slow down, think about what I am to say and how it might come across. I can not help how others receive my words or how they might misunderstand them but I can do everything within my power through Christ to be sure they are words filled with grace and love.

 

Above all, keep fervent in your love for one another, because love covers a multitude of sins. Be hospitable to one another without complaint. As each one has received a special gift, employ it in serving one another as good stewards of the manifold grace of God 1 Peter 4:8-10

 

Join me for 31 Days of Seeking Grace

The Color of Community

This morning I woke up thinking of the rainbow. God must love color. The rainbow is filled with beautiful colors. To the human eye we see seven shades of color, but in reality there are many more. God must love color because we see the beauty of color all around us. We see it with the blossoms each spring and the leaves in the fall. We see color everywhere we look.

During our recent family vacation we went to an amusement park. I can no longer ride the rides but enjoy being with my family and taking in some of the shows. It also means I wait around a lot while they ride the roller coasters. I truly don’t mind since I love to watch people. I am fascinated by it. I love to watch their expressions and wonder about their stories. Most of all I am amazed by the variety of God’s creation. All the beautiful color of mankind.

Color. God didn’t stop with expressions of color in nature He also created people of color. Glorious color. As I watched various families I realized the diversity of His creation. Like the rainbow mankind is not just a few colors but there is a wide array of shades ranging from pasty white to the darkest of dark skin and pretty much everything in between. Even within individual families of the same race there is such a diversity of color.

As I was thinking and watching my mind began to drift to thoughts of God’s community. His people are of various colors and nations. We have grown up in different cultures with different ideas of how community should look. We do look different, we talk different and often live different from one another, and yet God calls us to be in community with one another. I have always been somewhat confused by the church and her tendency to be segregated. You have separate churches that are predominantly African American, Chinese, Spanish and Caucasian. I’ve always wondered why? Why do we tend to gravitate toward those who look (and act) most like us? Why do we judge based on color or culture?

It truly makes me sad that we seem to allow color and culture to separate us. I don’t think it’s the way God intended it to be. We have so much to learn from one another. I believe when we segregate we in effect are missing parts of the body. I have learned so much from my South American daughter in law. Yes her culture is different, but let me tell you there is a lot we can learn from their tight sense of family and community. She has helped me see how sometimes my American culture can come across as insensitive and unkind. For example did you know in Latin culture they really do not understand any form of sarcasm? They don’t understand the “oh! I’m just kidding” kind of talk. They don’t even have a word for sarcasm. To them the person is just saying what they mean, which often comes across as very unkind and hurtful. Maybe they are right, maybe we shouldn’t say anything unkind or borderline mean then say, “Oh I was only joking!”

Anyway, before I totally get off topic, back to color. I just keep thinking how beautiful a church worship service might look with people of all color lifting their hands together. Kind of like the beauty of the rainbow. The color of community should be multifaceted, I think that is the way God intended it to be. 

We have much to learn from our brothers and sisters of color and those who have grown up in different cultures. I wish we weren’t so segregated. Even in my own church, which is predominantly white, I find there are attitudes and prejudices against those who may be of a different color or culture. I realize we all have prejudices of some kind but in the community of God is there really a place for them? Shouldn’t we all be treated the same?

Shouldn’t we work to over come prejudice and take the time to get to know one another. I have found that the prejudices I have had are often unfounded once I get to know a person. Oh let us embrace diversity! Let us love one another and be unified in Christ!

Let us show the world the true colors of a community that is unified in Christ! One that is filled with love, forgiveness, and the building up of one another.

Linking up with…

Thoughts of an “Older” Woman

I’ve been reading 1 Timothy. I’ve always loved the relationship between Paul and Timothy. As a young woman, mother and wife I longed for a “Paul” in my life. A woman who would disciple me. One who would help me learn to be the woman God created me to be. Who would show me how to “fight the fight” and “finish the race” in grace and love.

As I look back over my life I can see those that God brought women along the journey to help me. Most were more peers than “older” women, but they were beyond me in their spiritual walk if not their season of life. They were friends who took my hand in theirs and guided me in the disciplines of faith. In so many ways they discipled and mentored me. They encouraged me toward a deeper walk with Christ. They helped me be a better mother and wife. I still value the lessons they spoke into my heart both by their words and the life they lived.

I remember during those times still longing for a spiritual mother. As I looked around the church I often wondered why the older women weren’t investing in the younger women. In my mind I imagined seasoned women who knew so much more about life than I did. They had finished the “race” of parenting and managed to stay married for 30+ years. I just knew their lives must ooze of wisdom, grace and love that could be shared. Yet more often than not that wisdom remained hidden away as if it was a secret not to be shared.

I often wondered how do you arrive in their season of life with such godly wisdom? They appeared to have such great faith. They had been through storms and suffering yet still clung to their God with a surety and passion I longed to have. I suppose I could have just asked them. I suppose I could have began the conversation. But they seemed so out of my reach, so spiritual. Oh how many times I wanted to ask questions and yet my fear of perceived “unattainable” spirituality kept me from approaching them.

I am now the age many of them were then. I have raised my children and been married 30+ years. My love for the Lord is stronger, deeper and more real today than it was then. But this is what I now know about those older, more mature saints. They didn’t see themselves as full of wisdom, grace or love as I saw them. No, most likely they felt a lot like me and wondered if they even had anything to offer the younger generation.

Recently I have had several different young women say to me how much they value the wisdom I have. They see my life and want to be the woman I am, they want to know God the way I know Him. I must admit I am always taken aback. I usually don’t know what to say. Inside I am thinking, “Are you kidding me? Do you know what a mess I am? Do you understand how much I still don’t know? Do you see my weakness and failures?”

What could I possibly offer anyone? I am so far from the woman I want to be. There is so much heart work yet to be done, so much of me, sin and selfishness etc.…how can I possibly disciple anyone? How can I even think of taking anyone by the hand and say along with Paul come, “follow me as I follow Christ”?

And then I stop and wonder. I wonder if those older women of yesterday felt the same way? Did they see their failures more often than their successes? Did they focus more on how far they still needed to go than how far they had come? I wonder if they allowed the enemy to feed them lies about what they had to offer? I wonder did they arrive at 50 with disappointment thinking they would be farther in their spiritual journey? Did they think maybe they’d have a few more things figured out? Did they think they would finally like how they looked? Did they think that somehow being older meant having your life figured out?

So I say to the spiritual mothers of today, let us throw off the lies of the enemies and embrace the calling God has given us. Let us rise up and embrace the younger women in our churches. Let us help empower them to fight the fight God has called them to, not because we have all the answers but because we’ve been there, we understand.

Let us rise up and disciple this younger generation of women not out of our  strengths and successes but our weaknesses and failures. Let them see our failures and how God used them. Let them see that we do continue to fail, we have not arrived and we still have so much more growing up to do. Let them see that in those failures and sorrows of life even though our faith may have faltered it was not completely shipwrecked. We have endured. We are enduring.

We are fighting the good fight, maybe not perfectly but we do keep going. We do have life lessons and stories to share. We do have wisdom that God has given us. Let us stop hiding all that God has taught us.

So to you who are older let me remind you of what Paul reminded Timothy. Until Jesus comes, or calls you home, give attention to reading the word, exhortation and teaching. Do not neglect, regardless of your age, the spiritual gift that God’s Spirit has given you. Use it for the benefit of those in the body. Persevere in teaching truth. Pay attention to your own teaching, and how you are living so that your evidence of growth will be seen. (see 1 Timothy 4:13-16)

“Fight the good fight of faith; take hold of the eternal life to which you were called…” (1 Tim 6:12) We are not to stop fighting, we are never told to give up and stop using our spiritual gifts. So let us, as older women, join the younger women and fight the good fight of faith together. And when they come to us let us be brave, open and vulnerable with them sharing both our joys and our sorrows. Don’t be afraid to let them see your strength and your insecurities. Show them your true selves, but most of all show them Jesus.

 

Join others as they share at

 

Stand Together and Fight

I fear for the young mom today. She, more than the mothers of yesterday, are trying to raise a family in a hostile world. A world that continues to grow hostile towards anything godly.

If she is a stay at home mom most often she is looked down upon and in some circles even mocked. Women no longer have biblical role models readily available to them. My generation of women have been strongly influenced by the media where we see women who are often portrayed as strong, bold and overbearing women who berate their husbands and rule the home. Or we are sex objects. TV shows offer very little in between.

I was recently talking to a stay at home mom who shared with me how she feels like an outcast among other believers. Most of the moms in her church work outside the home. She and her husband have made sacrifices and don’t have the kind of cars others drive or the houses they have. She is content and believes she is doing what God has called her to do but still she feels left out so much of the time, and has so little in common with the other families. Often activities are offered that are really geared, price wise, to the two income family.

She understands some must work, and some choose to work, but why must it seem like it’s an “us against them” battle. Why are we fighting one another? She shared some of the comments that have been made that are just heart breaking. Some just down right mean. When did it become such a bad thing to be a stay at home mom?

She was told by one Christian mom that it’s actually healthy to let someone else raise her children and that she has the right to pursue a career. When did children and families become expendable? When did what I want or desire become more important than my family?

It wasn’t much different in the 80’s and 90’s when I was raising my own children. The message wasn’t quite as loud, but it’s volume was increasing against the mom who would stay home. Stay at home moms were still being attacked, looked down upon. But at least then you felt supported. There seemed to be a greater acceptance of those who choose to stay at home, make sacrifices, and raise their children. Today the stay at home mom finds peer support difficult to find.

I think as the messages of the world has gotten louder it has filtered into the church. The church used to be a place that supported and even encouraged moms to stay home. Recently I heard someone from church leadership (not my church) say that the church shouldn’t help a particular young family out if the mom was unwilling to go to work. Really? Please understand, we weren’t talking about a family that consistently made unwise financial choices but who had several major things happen all at once and just needed help. Fortunately there were some families that helped them out, but is this the message of the church? Is this the message of God’s word.

My heart broke for this family. Then I thought of Nehemiah Chapter 4:14 when he said

"...Remember the Lord, who is great and awesome, and fight for your brothers, your sons and your daughters, your wives and your homes."

So who is going to fight for our daughters... the women of the next generation?

I remembered that this is the call God gave me quite a while ago. To fight for the women of the next generation. To fight for my sisters, daughters, and for godly families. And just so I am clear families can be godly where or not a mom works outside the home.

But do they want me to fight for them? Many will argue that young women will do as they please, in spite of other’s experiences. So why bother trying to be a spiritual mother or disciple? History does prove that often this is true, but it's not a good reason to not try.

While the ideal is for mentors to teach and try to prevent mistakes, they can also support and help work through mistakes. A spiritual mother is the one who can say “Here’s my experience and how I dealt with it, and I can support you while you go through it.”

I believe that we as older women can have great influence among the younger generations of women. We can help them navigate through the storms of life. We can walk with that young stay at home mom who feels isolated. We can help support the mom who chooses to work. We can encourage the mom who must work.

Honestly it doesn’t really matter what I believe about whether or not moms should work outside the home.  It’s not up to me to judge, but I am called to encourage, support and walk with her. Regardless of your beliefs we need to stand together and fight for the Christian family.

Let us join hands and hearts and be there for one another. Let’s stop judging and start encouraging. Let’s stand against an enemy that would rather see us fall apart.

   

photo courtesy of geyerbaby @ http://www.morguefile.com/

Why We Need the “Older” Generation

Many years ago I remember sitting with an older woman who shared with me that she really didn’t have anything left to share with the body of Christ, except to pray. It was time to let the younger ones take over. She didn’t say it with conviction, but with a sadness of heart. A sigh. As if she had resigned herself to being “put out to pasture.”

I remember thinking how sad it was to come to that season of life and feel you have nothing to offer. I wish I would have thought to ask her why she felt that way or how she had come to that conclusion. I did however try to encourage her by saying that she still had much to offer and I for one would love to  have just half the faith she had in her God.

Today I am sitting here working on my Bible Study lesson as Beth shares, “Contrary to my expectation, the women who stood before us were not beaten down by a youth-obsessed culture nor were they gearing down for spiritual retirement. Their heads were raised high…they weren’t proud but, make no mistake, they were confident….They’d suffered too much and lived too long to pretend to the rest of us that life turns out like a Disney movie.” (Beth Moore: Children of the Day;135-36)

I am of an age that it’s easy to give into the lie that I no longer have value in the church. Too often it seems the younger generation are the movers and shakers and the older ones are being left behind or left out of the work. Maybe it’s just that I attend a church where there really are not any women over the age of 65 and the age demographics are closer to 30 to 40 something.

As I reflect on this season of my life I understand now, how and why that older woman may have felt the way she did, but I want to choose to be like the women who stood confident knowing that they had a lifetime of truth to share.

I am tired of giving into the lies that I have nothing to offer a younger generation. What better way for the enemy to lead a whole generation astray than to convince an older generation that they are not needed.

The truth is they are desperately needed. They are needed because

- they have walked through suffering, sorrow, heartbreak and come out on the other side stronger in the Lord. They can walk along side the younger generation and show the way.

- they have been successful leaders and business owners, and they have learned from their failures. They can mentor and teach from both their success and failures.

- they have raised families, buried children, prayed for the prodigal, and walked through life with a special needs child. They can help guide the younger mother.

- they have lived life in the valleys and on the mountains. They have walked through the hot humid deserts and the land of fertile soil yet still found God true to His promises.

- they have life experience which is different from book learning. This new generation has a greater opportunity for higher education, which is valuable, but books can not always teach us everything about actually living life.

- they have been in plenty and want yet have seen the faithfulness of God.

Yes I want to be an older woman that stands with confidence knowing that her God is not ready to put her out to pasture. I want to stand firm on what I know in the face of the lies and self doubt. I want to live life to the full (at least as full as this decaying body will let me) and know that while I can most certainly pray there is still so much work this older woman can do!

But the reality is, most days, I am too tempted to give into the lies that I am no longer needed….or worse…wanted.

Oh God may you speak truth into this stubborn heart of mine and help me stand firm in the knowledge that you still have a purpose in my life. As I heard someone say recently if I’m not dead then God isn’t done with me.

I still have a purpose for Your Kingdom…help me see it.

 

 

4 Qualities Younger Women Need in an Older Woman

It gives us new life, knowing you remain strong in the Lord. How we thank God for you! Because of you we have great joy in the presence of God. Night and day we pray earnestly for you, asking God to let us see you again to fill up anything that may still be missing in your faith. 1 Thess 3:8-10

I find myself in a surprising place. I am not sure how I got here so quickly, but regardless, I am what Titus 2:3 calls an “older” woman. I have weathered many storms in life. Walked hard paths and steep mountains.   I have grown through my failures and my successes. I am far from perfect.  I still make mistakes.

Quite honestly it would be too easy to think I am done. And sometimes, because the areas that have caused me the greatest failure is also the voices that speak the loudest I believe I have nothing left to give. It would be easy to give into the lies that the younger women can take over. They don’t really need what I have to offer.

 But, in His grace and mercy I continue to grow with the Lord. I am not done. We are not done. There is still a whole generation that needs us.

We, the older women, have a calling, an exciting calling. God is calling us to be spiritual mothers. He is calling us to pour our lives out in discipleship. Now more than any other time in our lives we have the opportunity to come along side other women to love them, train them and disciple them. We can help complete what they lack in their faith. (1 Thess 3:10) We can strengthen and encourage them as they are in the trenches of motherhood. We can help them gain a better understanding of how to be mothers, wives and sisters.

As I have processed through this, asking God what I am to do and how I am to move forward I see 4 area’s that older women that need to be evident in our life in order to meet the needs of a younger generation. We do not have to be perfect in any of these area’s but we do need to humbly be willing to admit our weakness and press on towards a deeper growth.

A Godly Example: One of the first things younger women need from older women is a godly example. They need to see a consistent growth in our desire to know God. They need to see one that runs to God, holds fast to truth and stands firms through suffering. They need to see those times when we falter and forget truth but know how to reach out to ask for help. 

They need to see older women who have learned to refrain from gossip and idleness and aspire to a Christ-likeness in our character and actions. They need to see women of integrity who have learned to handle the word of God accurately. (Titus 2:3-5) 

A Nurturer: A Spiritual mother needs to be a nurturer. In the fallen world we live in it is just a fact that many women have not had the opportunity to be nurtured by their own mothers. Many come in to our churches bruised and wounded. A mother’s heart  is needed to perceive what is going on whether or not it’s openly shared. Mothers need to be checking for the one with the bruises because when something goes wrong or someone is hurt she needs to be able to come along side and help in the healing process. 

We need to genuinely care. Be the one who will teach them how to walk, live, and pray through the hurts. Mothers need to nurture and equip their spiritual daughters to stand firm against an enemy that wants to destroy them, their families and their testimonies. 

A Chastiser: I think one of the harder aspects of being a Spiritual Mother is the role of a chastiser. But older women need to be willing to come along side and help the younger woman know how to act. Some women may need to know how to set godly boundaries in their life and relationships. We need to be willing to chastise wrong behaviors, doctrine or attitudes.  

Many women have not been taught properly from their own mothers and need tender correction. Older women need to be willing to do the hard task of correcting an disciplining in areas of life, but always with love and a whole lot of grace. 

A Leader: In a world where more and more women are leading and the lines of what a godly leader looks like are blurred, we need to be women who lead well. We need to be women who model godly leadership that knows how to lead with humility. We need to model before the younger woman how to lead strong yet be teachable. We need to help her understand the difference between strong leadership skills and being hungry for power or desiring to do things her own way. 

We need to be willing to allow younger women to come along side and lead with us. If we are in ministry leadership positions be willing to bring younger women with you and teach them about that ministry. Don’t be threatened by her youth, her ideas, or strength, instead help her see the value she has to that particular ministry. Yes someday she make take over that leadership position, but that is a good thing. A God thing, not something that should make you fearful to share your ministry.

I know that they are many other areas I could talk about, but truly these four areas encompass much. One thing we need to remember is that while we do not need to have mastered all the above we do need to be growing in them. For example I am not much of a nurturer, It doesn’t come naturally to me and I have to work at it. But that is the point, I work at it. With God’s grace and the nurturing of older women in my life I am learning to be a better nurturer.

We can not give what we do not have. We can not model humility in leadership if we do not have it. We can not help younger women to be teachable if we ourselves are not teachable. Again, we do not need to be perfect, but we must be willing to grow in these areas.

We must be willing to look openly and honestly at these four areas and ask God’s Holy Spirit to show us what area’s we  need to grow in. Then with love and humility begin praying that God might open our eyes to a young women who we might walk along side with and be an encouragement.

May we stop believing the lie that Satan has so easily caused us to believe, “that we are no longer needed”. Younger women do need the older women. And unless you are dead you still need an older woman too. Besides I believe that as an older women we also have a lot to learn from the younger woman too!

Bottom line is that we need each other! So let’s rise up, grab hold in one hand a younger sister and in the other hand an older sister and journey together through this life.

Fight for Community

Today I had a conversation with a friend. My heart hasn’t been right, it was hurt. Our relationship  had been affected. I had let insecurities and other people speak their own insecurities and lies into my heart.  For weeks I had allowed the hurt to fester and grow. I was dangerously close to allowing the hurt pour out to others in anger and criticism. I was close to writing him off and being “done”.

But God loves His people. He doesn’t not want His children fighting against one another so He convicted my heart. His Spirit convicted me to the point that I had to make things right. I had to talk to my friend. I needed to share my insecurities, the lies I had believed and the things I had began to listen to from others.

To be honest this was not easy. It was very difficult. I was fearful of how he might react. I didn’t want to hurt him, but most of all I hated the thought of his disappointment. But his response was graceful. There was no condemnation or judgment. He listened as I shared my hurt, and my frustration.

He then walked me through three things. He helped me remember…

What he has done in the past. He reminded me of circumstances, and life decisions that spoke of his character. He reminded me of his consistency in his choices and the living out of his life.

His heart. He shared his heart with me. First he shared with me what I already knew about his heart, then he shared the things God was showing him.

Who our enemy is. He reminded me that we fight the same enemy and that enemy would do anything to stop the work that is being done in God’s kingdom. He reminded me that our enemy loves nothing more than to create friction and undercurrents in order to divide the body of Christ. He doesn’t want God’s people getting along.

There are parts of me that could go to the place I so often go and that is shame. I could beat myself up inside for forgetting who I know my friend to be. I have known him for a long time. We have worked along side together in ministry. Our families have broken the bread of fellowship together. I should know better. I could allow shame to cause me to withdraw, but I will choose to rejoice that Christ’s love won and the enemy was defeated in this battle.

As I have thought about this today it became very clear how easy it is for all of us to do this with our relationships (and with God). We let little things grow into big things. We do not confront and we forget.

So going forward I choose to do better.

I choose to go to my friend (or to God) immediately when I have doubts. No matter how small or petty I may think my insecurities or doubts are I will value relationship over looking foolish.

I choose to always remember who I know them to be. I will always choose to believe they want God’s best for me and would never harm me on purpose.

I choose to remember that our enemy seeks to destroy all healthy, godly relationships among God’s children.

I choose to believe that my friends, just like God, we always respond in grace and love not matter how silly my insecurities are.

Let us all remember to guard our relationship with our brothers and sister in Christ. Let us remember that we all fight the same battle…the same enemy.

What about you? Are you willing to go to your friend, your brother or sister in Christ, your pastor, Bible study leader or church leadership and fight for community. Are you willing to humble yourself and die to pride so that the body of God will be guarded? Will you, at all cost, protect the community of Christ against an enemy that seeks to destroy?

Who do you need to talk to today?

Therefore if there is any encouragement in Christ, if there is any consolation of love, if there is any fellowship of the Spirit, if any affection and compassion, make my joy complete by being of the same mind, maintaining the same love, united in spirit, intent on one purpose. Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves ;  do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others.  Phil 2:1-4

So then we pursue the things which make for peace and the building up of one another. Romans 14:19

Motherhood, in Life and Ministry

There were days when my boys were young that I was just tired and wanted to run away. Seriously. I didn’t want to even hear the word “mommy”. In fact, I was one of those girls who grew up saying I’d never have children. I did not have some overwhelming desire to be a mother.

 I often wondered what God was even thinking when He allowed me to be a mother. I would grow weary of doing for my children without appreciation or notice. I would be selfish and just want to get away. Why couldn't I be like those other mommy's that seemed to have it all together and LOVE motherhood.

Then God, in His faithfulness and gentle ways would cause my heart to look upon those precious little faces and my heart would remember truth. The truth that He did call me to be a mother. He placed these precious, loud, curious, rough and tumble boys into my arms with a heavenly purpose in mind. Yes God desires us mothers to raise them for Him, to teach them the word and show them the love of the Father. But, I believe God also give us children in order to teach us.

They teach us to be a mother. They help us understand the Father and His love, patience, mercy and grace. So often we, as mothers, get so caught up in trying to do and be what we think a good mother would do and be that we forget the lessons that God is trying to teach us through our raising children.

In those moments that I wanted to run, give up and give in I learned to run to God. I learned that it was in His strength I could go another day. It was because of Him and what He was doing in my heart that I would learn to keep on fighting for my children. After all if I wasn’t teaching them, loving them, holding them, praying with and for them who would? No one. I was the one God called. I would be the one who would lead them.

Over seven years ago when I led me into women’s ministry I found these same emotions arising. I would become weary of being a spiritual mother. I would become frustrated in the fighting for “children” who seemed to not care. Day after day I would fight battles within and outside that threatened to rendered me useless. My enemies, were my flesh, Satan, the world and the very ones I was trying to minister to. The lies, betrayals, gossip and criticism at times brought great bouts of  discouragement. I wanted to quit, run away and give up.

But God has called me, and so, just like when I felt this way raising my boys, I learned to once again run to Him. God, once again being faithful, reminded me that it’s not about me, or how I am feeling. It’s about them, what’s best for them, and what they need. It’s about  who they need me to be – who God expects me to be. I was reminded that I have a God who empowers me to do that which He has called me to do. He called me to be a mother. This my dear friends is a blessing – a high calling. And I had learned that God will enable me to rise above my flesh and do what He has called me to do.

So today God continues to call me into “Mothering”. As I look back I can see how all the lessons beforehand led up to this role as a "mother". The women God brings to me today are broken, many know nothing of God let alone what it means to be loved by a mother. God is calling me to mother His lost children. Children who do not know Him or know very little about Him. These women, these young girls need to see and experience what being a mother really is about. They need to hear the truth, not only about being a mother but about their heavenly Father. They need to know they are heard, seen and understood. They need mothers who have not only “been there” but who are real and honest about the struggles, and heartache of mothering.

This journey has only begun and I stand with great anticipation to see all that God will do. I am thrilled to serve God in this way. I am humbled that He has chosen me to help Him save these girls and their unborn babies. Working in a pregnancy center will bring new, hard challenges I know and I fully realize that there will be day that I will not  “feel” like fighting for them. I will grow weary and feel  like giving up.

And yet, I have learned who to run to and I will rise in confidence of who Christ says I am and believe the truth of what I KNOW – not what I feel or the lies that the enemy would have me believe – I will stand on the truth of who Christ is and the truth of what His word says.

I will think like a mother, sacrifice like a mother, love like a mother. I will fight like a mother! I will fight with God to help save a generation that does not know Him.
 
 
 
Photo courtesy of morguefile.com by greyerbaby

Called to Live and Preach Christ

There is a quote that has often bothered me. It just didn’t sit right in my heart. The quote is often attributed to Francis of Assisi and says “Preach the Gospel at all times. Use words if necessary.”

Quite honestly it just doesn’t make sense to me.  I mean if my neighbor sees me living my life in service to others and being a good neighbor, loving those I meet, all he will think is that I'm a nice person. He doesn’t  come to know the content of the gospel  simply by watching me live my life.

Shouldn’t  I also speak the gospel so that he will know?

So, I sat down to do some research on the quote. I wanted to know the context of the quote. Maybe the context had been distorted over the years. Interestingly enough what I found was that Francis of Assisi never said it. Read more here.

Mark Galli of Christianity Today says this about the quote, “First, no biography written within the first 200 years of his death contains the saying. It's not likely that a pithy quote like this would have been missed by his earliest disciples. Second, in his day, Francis was known as much for his preaching as for his lifestyle.”¹

I love what Jeremy Carr writes about the quote on his blog One Thing, “ While it commends us to live out the Gospel through our life, it falls short of what it means to preach the Gospel and it actually makes no sense at all. I recently heard D. A. Carson comment that it would be like telling a news reporter to "Give the news and if necessary use words." After all Gospel means good news. News is something you tell people.”

Some might say who cares who said it, after all it’s still a good statement. Maybe,  but I wouldn’t want someone to say I said something when I didn’t, or take something I said and misquote it. Would you?  I imagine not. So it is import to understand that Francis of Assisi did not say this.

But is it a good quote regardless of who said it? I really struggle with that in light of what scripture says. God’s word is very clear that we are to live out the gospel and we are to preach the gospel.
We live the gospel when we love one another. What if the body of Christ so loved one another that they actually did 1 Thess 5:11-13 and encouraged, built up, showed appreciation, encouraged the fainthearted, helped the weak, was patient, and sought what was good for one another. Wouldn’t that speak volumes to the world if they saw the church living out the gospel in such a way? So yes,  we absolutely must live out the gospel before the world.

We are also told to preach the gospel. Jesus tells the disciple to “go preach the gospel.” (Mark 16:15) and Paul says “for woe is me if I do not preach the gospel.” (1 Cor 9:16) In fact as I searched scripture (but did not do an in-depth study) it seems that the New Testament writers often preached the gospel to those outside of the body. They did not leave it up to the idea that “if I just live right before them they will know I am a believer”. No they PREACHED Jesus! (2 Cor 10:16; Rom 15:20; Mark 15:15)

A quick look at 1 John 3:18 “Little children, let us not love with word or with tongue, but in deed and truth.” John is telling us that if we speak love only with words and no actions it is not love. When taking the gospel to a dark world we need to both live and preach the gospel. It’s not one or the other. We are called to live and love as Jesus did. He IS our example.
My dear beloved, Jesus both lived and spoke the gospel. His life both showed and spoke the love of the Father. We should go and do likewise.

¹ http://www.christianitytoday.com/ct/2009/mayweb-only/120-42.0.html

The Truth About Forgiveness

Forgiveness can mean that you must forgive again and again.

Recently I’ve had several hurtful things come up to surface again. They were hurtful experiences of betrayal by those that were thought to be on my side. Those that I considered friends. The wound was deep and I must admit caused me to withdraw from relationships once again. My response in the past has always been to withdraw, build the walls higher, thicker and resolve within to never let hurt come again.

This time God wouldn’t let me build my walls. God worked on tearing them down. It took a while. He was patiently faithful in helping me see the need to forgive. To forgive not just in this but in past betrayals, past hurts that have caused me to prefer isolation over community.

As I said, He is faithful and forgiveness came. With forgiveness came glorious freedom and healing.

So now as I face this emotion once again, remembering the past betrayal and hurt, I am faced with a choice. Do I allow the enemy to use it, making me angry again and feel the hurt all over? Oh my flesh wants to cry, kick and scream! I want to go back and make this right! I was wronged and there was no apology, no setting the record straight! The emotions and hurt threatened to rise up! In this moment if I would listen to my flesh (my enemy) I would sin.

But I  choose to forgive. Again and again.

Just so you understand, I am not speaking of one who hurt me again but of allowing the memory of a hurtful experience hurt me again. Both would require the same response. That response would be to forgive.

 I use to believe that if a hurtful memory came up again and again it meant that I didn’t really forgive the first time. I no longer believe that, for I understand that often my enemy will take those opportunities to tempt me to sin. He reminds us of a hurt, holds it over our hearts and wants us to become resentful, angry or bitter. We must choose to forgive again and remind our enemy and ourselves that we've chosen the path of forgiveness.

So when those times of painful memories arise thank our Father for the opportunity to forgive once again.

See Matthew  11:25; 18:21-35

Season, Reason or Lifetime Friends?

Recently I posted this picture on Facebook. The private comments I received were quite interesting. Since then I have thought a lot about friendship, friendships that last a lifetime. This is what I am processing…

When I think of my circle of friends I always find myself looking the example I see in the relationships Jesus had while on earth.

He had the multitudes whom he definitely had influence over as He traveled from place to place. He had His followers, those that would often follow Him from town to town to hear Him. There were His twelve, then His three, and some even narrow it down to His one.

I have those who are on the peripheral, those that know me to say hello or who may know my name and face but our relationship doesn’t go beyond that. They know me because we attend the same church, or they have sat in on one of my workshops.

Friends for particular season and reasons: Then there are those who know me because we have spent time with one another over a mutual project, ministry or for a particular crisis or event. We know each other a bit deeper but often it can still be a bit of a surface relationship for once the reason of the relationship is done we have very little contact.

I think along this same line is friendships that develop during certain seasons of our life. For example when my boys were of preschool age I attended a Bible study with other moms where we spent much time together encouraging one another. If it had not be for some of those mothers I don’t know what I would have done. But as we each began making different life choices about how to school our children or what church we would attend and become involved in I found those relationship fell by the wayside.

Even though I have not seen some of these season or reason friends for a long time I still consider them friends. When we run into one another on the street we hug, catch up and encourage one another with a smile. We will even connect from time to time on face book, following along as their lives change and grow.  And if they had a need, a prayer request, I’d like to think I’d be there for them just as they would be for me.

Lifetime friends: Then there are lifetime friends. These friends have been through practically every season with you. They have stood by your side through the good, bad and ugly. These friends often can begin as season/reason friends but they grow to be much more. Two of my lifetime friends came out of the young moms Bible Study, our friendship grew to depths beyond the time in study. Our commonality was more than the season/reason relationship.

Lifetime friendships develop out of a mutual connection of the heart. Just because I have known someone for more than 7 years doesn’t mean we are lifetime friends. A lifetime friend is one to whom your heart is connected. Neither time nor distance can separate you. You have cried over prodigal children, and hard seasons of marriage. You have cried with each other during times of suffering, bearing one another’s burdens, confessed sin and allowed them inside your heart and life.

We may not see eye to eye on everything, and there may be times of hurt feelings, but the relationship is far more important to us than a disagreement. We will talk it out with grace, love and forgiveness.

I do not know about you but my group of lifetime friends is small. In fact I can count them on one hand.  I have known these women anywhere between 7 to 25 years. But it is more than just knowing them for a long time, it is about our level of consistent, intentional involvement in one another’s lives.

So what is my point? I suppose bottom line is that just because you have known someone for more than 7 years it doesn’t mean we are “lifetime” friends. On the other hand we will always be friends. We will always be friends because of the moments we shared, the impact that was made, the season we walked. But lifetime friends go beyond that. They go to a deeper level of the heart and soul and they stay connected throughout the various seasons of life regardless of whether or not you still live in close proximity.

So what do you think? Would love to hear your thoughts!

I Can’t Forgive Them!

“You don’t understand what they’ve done to hurt me!”

“They keep hurting me, over and over!”

“They aren’t remorseful for what they have done!”

“How do you forgive someone who will not admit what they did to you?”

I have heard these and more from many I have spoken to. Their hurt is deep. They feel broken inside. They have been left with scars that seem to never heal.

Their pain comes from what others have done.

I have been here. I understand.

I would try over and over to forgive as an act of obedience to the God I loved. I would remind myself that HE forgave MY sins AGAINST Him. Horrible sins of murder (Matt 5:21-22), idolatry, adultery and list goes on and on…

But still I could not forgive. I could not forgive to the point that I could look at those who hurt me and LOVE them. I could not get to the point that I could PRAY for them. (Matt 5:39-45)

Until…

I prayed that God would allow me to see them. I prayed  that that God would allow me to see the heart of those who hurt, offended, beat and abused me as He sees them.

Something happened unexpected as I prayed, God began to show me my own heart instead. You see I was a wretched sinner, but God looked down on me with mercy and love. And with a marvelous grace, I will never understand, He sent His Son to die so that MY sins could be forgiven.

I did not ask Him to. I did not, do not, will never deserve His Grace.  And yet He gives it to me freely.

I began to ask “How am I different than those who have sinned against me? Jesus died for their sin too. They, like me, are sinners in need of a Savoir.” They are no different than me. Not really. We are both sinners. We both have wronged another. Our actions and words have wounded and hurt others.

God allowed and continue to allow me to see my enemies and those who have sinned against me through the eyes of the cross. At the cross I am on level ground with those who have sinned against me.

At the cross Jesus took upon Himself the sin of mankind. MY sin and THEIR sin.

When I look at those who have hurt me through the cross I can forgive them. I can love them. I can pray for them.

To say they don’t deserve God’s forgiveness, mercy or grace is to say the same of me. It also says that I do not fully understand the GRACE that God gives to me.

I know it’s not easy, in fact humanly speaking it’s impossible. I must remember that it’s a process of letting go of the hurt and giving it over to God. I must remind myself that He has forgiven me of SO much, how can I not forgive them?

We can only truly forgive when we allow the pain and the hurt to take us to the cross where we can, once again, gaze at the sacrifice of Christ. It’s at the cross that we must preach the gospel to ourselves everyday and then we will find it easier to forgive as Christ has forgiven you.

An Ordinary Life

Life, at times can seem rather ordinary.

We have not been called to do grand things for God.

Our purpose does not seem extraordinary.

Our purpose feels so small. Insignificant.

No one sees. No one hears.

We are not changing the world.

Not even one heart. So it seems.

Instead our days are filled with crying children.

Filled with long days and sleepless nights.

A friend calls, we speak words of truth.

We encourage a broken heart.

Mending scraped knees and read stories.

Our world seems filled with the mundane.

We comfort those mourning a loss.

Take a meal to the sick.

We hold the hand of a dying friend.

We cry, laugh and live an ordinary life.

An ordinary life filled with soccer and ballet.

A life filled with grocery list, house cleaning

and cooking yet another meal.

It's an ordinary life.

We struggle with purpose, significance.

The lies of the enemy.

Lies that tell us we have no value.

We aren't enough.

Lies that tell us ordinary is somehow wrong.

It is weak.

It's in the ordinary life that God uses to minister.

It's the ordinary life, serving an extraordinary God ,

that changes the world one heart at a time.

God calls the ordinary to pour out their life and

heart in service to Him.

God uses the ordinary life to make disciples.

Why do we seek to be more than ordinary?

It’s the ordinary life God uses to be His hands and feet.

To Be Like Jesus

His Truth

Romans 12:10 Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves. Live in harmony with one another.

Ephesians 4:2 Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.

Ephesians 4:32 Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

1 Thessalonians 5:11 Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.

My Prayer

Oh Father how often do I fail to treat my brothers and sisters the way I should. Forgive me. Help me to forgive others when they mistreat me. Father may my words and actions be such that they encourage and build up the body of Christ.  Help me to be compassionate to those who are hurting and to be kind to those who may not understand kindness. Father help me to be patient with those I come into contact with as I walk through my day.

Oh Father help me to treat others the way you would have me treat them regardless of their action or lack of action toward me. Father I know I can do none of this apart from you. Come Spirit and work a mighty work in me so that I might be Jesus to those that need to see Him.

Help me to show them Jesus. Amen.

Live AND Preach the Gospel

There is a quote that has often bothered me. It just didn’t quite sit right in my heart. The quote is often attributed to Francis of Assisi and says Preach the Gospel at all times. Use words if necessary.

Quite honestly it just doesn’t make sense to me.  I mean if my neighbor sees me living my life in service to others and being a good neighbor, loving those I meet, all he will think is that I'm a nice person. He won't come to know the content of the gospel by watching me live my life. Shouldn’t  I also speak the gospel so that he will know?

So, I sat down today to do some research on the quote. I wanted to know the context of the quote. Maybe the context had been distorted over the years. Interestingly enough what I found was that Francis of Assisi never said it. Read more here.

Mark Galli of Christianity Today say’s this about the quote, “First, no biography written within the first 200 years of his death contains the saying. It's not likely that a pithy quote like this would have been missed by his earliest disciples. Second, in his day, Francis was known as much for his preaching as for his lifestyle.”¹

I love what Jeremy Carr writes about the quote on his blog One Thing, “ While it commends us to live out the Gospel through our life, it falls short of what it means to preach the Gospel and it actually makes no sense at all. I recently heard D. A. Carson comment that it would be like telling a news reporter to "Give the news and if necessary use words." After all Gospel means good news. News is something you tell people.”

Some might say who cares who said it, after all it’s still a good statement. Maybe,  but I wouldn’t want someone to say I said something when I didn’t, or take something I said and misquote it. Would you?  I imagine not. So it is import to understand that Francis of Assisi did not say this.

Now to the point of whether it’s a good quote. I really struggle with that in light of what scripture says. God’s word is very clear that we are to live out the gospel and we are to preach the gospel.

We live the gospel when we love one another. What if the body of Christ so loved one another that they actually did 1 Thess 5:11-13 and encouraged, built up, showed appreciation, encouraged the fainthearted, help the weak, was patient, and sought what was good for one another. Wouldn’t that speak volumes to the world if they saw the church living out the gospel in such a way? So yes,  we absolutely must live out the gospel before the world.

We are also told to preach the gospel. Jesus tells the disciple to “go preach the gospel.” (Mark 16:15) and Paul says “for woe is me if I do not preach the gospel.” (1 Cor 9:16) In fact was I searched scripture (but did not do an in-depth study) it seems that the New Testament writers often preached the gospel to those outside of the body. They did not leave it up to the idea that “if I just live right before them they will know I am a believer”. No they PREACHED Jesus! (2 Cor 10:16; Rom 15:20; Mark 15:15)

A quick look at 1 John 3:18 “Little children, let us not love with word or with tongue, but in deed and truth.” John is telling us that if we speak love only with words and no actions it is not love. When taking the gospel to a dark world we need to both live and preach the gospel. It’s not one or the other. We are called to live and love as Jesus did. He IS our example.

My dear beloved, Jesus both lived and spoke the gospel. His life both showed and spoke the love of the Father. We should go and do likewise.

¹ http://www.christianitytoday.com/ct/2009/mayweb-only/120-42.0.html