Weary Yet Pursuing

They are three little words, yet they were what was needed to encourage my heart today. The words were from Judges 8:4 which says, "weary yet pursuing". 

  

    The context of those words was written amid battle. Gideon and his army of 300 men had been fighting against the Midianites. God had already delivered 3 leaders into their hands and they were still pursuing more. They needed food to be strengthened, but those around them did not come to their rescue. Instead of giving up, they pursued their enemy, even though they were weary. (There is a lot more to the story, and I encourage you to read it in Judges 8, but God used those three little words to encourage me this day.)

    When I am tired and weary of the battle where do I go? Who do I turn to? How do I cope with the weariness that I feel? What should I pursue instead of giving in to the weariness of my soul? 

    Too often I want to go to people, and while the body of Christ can and should be a good source of refreshment often they fail. They fail because we have gone to them first, we've put our hope in their strength to encourage and lift us up instead of Christ. They fail because they have battles of their own to fight. 

So before going to others, even the body of Christ, we must go to God. We must go to His word. It's here, and here alone that I am refreshed and encouraged.

    I forget this so many times and run to people. But today it was God's words that refreshed this tired and weary heart. Perhaps they too will refresh your weary heart.

 Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Everlasting God, the LORD , the Creator of the ends of the earth Does not becomewearyor tired. His understanding is inscrutable.  He gives strength to theweary, And to him who lacks might He  increases power. Though youths grow weary and tired, And vigorous young men stumble badly, Yet those who wait for the LORD Will gain new strength; They will mount up with wings like eagles, They will run and not get tired, They will walk and not become weary. (Isaiah 40:28-31)

"For I satisfy the weary ones and refresh everyone who languishes." (Jer 31:25)

Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and YOU WILL FIND REST FOR YOUR SOULS. For my yoke is easy and My burden is light. (Matthew 11:28-30)

Let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we will reap if we do not grow weary. (Gal 6:9)

For consider Him who has endured such hostility by sinners against Himself, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart. (Hebrews 12:3)

    Jesus will be our strength, in Him we will find rest. Run to Him, pursue Him through His words to you.

    So what should we do instead of giving in to weariness, discouragement, depression, anxieties, or any other ways we may try to deal with hard times? What does God's word say I should pursue instead of giving in to my weariness?

 O God, You are my God; I shall seek You earnestly; My soul thirsts for You, my flesh yearns for You, In a dry and weary land where there is no water. (Psalm 63:1)

So then we pursue the things which make for peace and the building up of one another. (Rom 14:19) 

... pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, perseverance and gentleness. (1 Timothy 6:11) 

...seek peace and pursue it.  (Heb 12:14; 1 Peter 3:11)

  Today may we choose to seek God and the things of God. May we pursue that which will build us up instead of tearing us down. May we fall on our knees before the cross, pray to know God, and pursue Him in a greater, deeper way.

Battle Weary

As you sit quietly fighting the tears you realize you've been here before. You have fought this battle, or at least you think you have. But you wonder, "If it was fought why am I here again?"

Your heart is weary of the battles that seem to take forever to fight. The battles that seem to overcome you. The battles that cause you to feel like you want to give up.

You do the only thing you know to do. You reach for His word. You open up the only weapon you have and begin to read...and pray. As you read you realize you do not fight alone. You feel His strength and His power flow through you.

 It's then you understand that the battle you are fighting is one that must be fought often. It must be fought often, not because you are weak, but because God wants to make you stronger. He wants to take you deeper. Deeper into the battle, deeper into the heart, so that you can come face to face with that which keeps you in bondage. He takes you deeper in order to see your sin, your weaknesses, idols and those things that you hold on to. He takes you deeper for greater healing, and a greater victory.

So when you find yourself fighting a battle that you thought had been fought do not be discouraged. God is taking you deeper into the battle in order to grow you. So fight the good fight, keep a hold of your faith in Christ Jesus and know that He fights for you.

For Further encouragement when you are in the midst of the battle: Deut 20:1; 2 Chron 20:17; 1 Tim 6:12; 2 Thess 3:13 1 Pe 1:13; James 1:12; Eph 6:11; Gal 6:9; Rev 2:10

When Shame Speaks

It was a beautiful day, and as I sat there watching my youngest granddaughter I couldn’t help but feel blessed. I have a good life, I have four beautiful grandchildren and a family who loves me.  Oh sure there have been hard roads, painful memories, but God has been faithful to see me through them. He has used them to grow and teach me. And in this moment I was content. My heart was filled with joy, love, and an overwhelming sense of gratefulness.

But it was in that very moment I felt the darkness in the pit of my stomach. I physically felt sick. As I sat there the darkness grew to the point that I was overcome by it. I tried to stop it but it was strong, too strong. He had been apart of me for far too long. This time I could feel the strength of his lies. He wrapped himself around my heart and mind until he had his death grip on me.
This darkness has a name. I know him all too well. He is called shame.

Shame knows all about me. He knows the evil that lies within me. The sins I have committed. The lies I have told. Shame knows what I am capable of doing. He knows the monster that I could be. He knows I am not who others think I am. He knows that I am not enough. He knows the darkness and depravity of my heart and the thoughts that so often race through my mind. And shame’s only purpose is to remind me of all these things.

Shame speaks lies. He knows no truth. Or perhaps the better way to say that. is he knows the truth of the past, he knows what’s been done and will use it to remind me. But he forgets I know the truth too. I know the truth of who I am. I know the truth of who he is and even more, I know the truth of who God is.

Shame is my accuser. Shame is my enemy. Shame is what Satan uses as he stands before God and accuses me. He reminds God that I am filthy. I am unworthy. And to be honest, at times it feels as if he has won. It feels as if I stand condemned. It feels as if I am the worst sinner ever.

The truth is that Jesus stands between my accuser and me. Jesus rejects the enemy’s accusations. He paid the blood price for those sins that Satan now accuses me with. Jesus covers me in grace and mercy. Satan does not have any power over me, for Jesus defeated Him already.

I am reminded that Jesus has taken away my sins. I am free. I have a new heart and mind. The Father sees Jesus when He sees me.  God sees the blood of Jesus that has covers my sins. I am His precious child who is no longer accused. I can now walk in righteousness. I now have God’s Spirit in me. I have the Spirit’s power.

So sweet child, stop listening to the lies of shame. Shame only has the power over you if you allow it. Do not fear your enemy called shame, rebuke him in Jesus name and he will flee. And beloved, if ever you feel like you can’t fight him, just call out the name of Jesus for He am always with you and the power of His name will cause your enemy to flee.

I wish this scenario didn’t happen as often as it does, but I struggle more often than I care to admit with shame based thinking. But the joy…the grace…the encouragement is this,  Each time I struggle the struggle is less. Each time shame comes I grow, heal and learn to run to Jesus. And those times I find it exceptionally hard I humble myself and ask for help. I cry out to Jesus and ask for prayers and words of truth from trusted friends.

Zach 3:1-6; Eph 1:7; John 3:18, 8:36; Luke 10:17; 2 Cor 6:11; Rom 8:1

If you are struggling with shame and want to learn more I encourage you to read these two articles that I recently read and found very helpful

Change My Heart….

For weeks I have struggled to find words to write. My heart has been processing much. It seems that while I may have much to say the words are not forming on “paper” very easily. Nor are they forming easily out loud. So I sit and ask God to help me understand what it is my heart is feeling?

Then today I keep singing these words, “Change my heart, O God make it ever true. Change my heart O God may I be like you.”

And these are my thoughts…thoughts that are kind of jumbled up inside in some sort of confusing, growing, I know God is trying to tell me something, kind of way. So I sit and write and pray.

God knows me. I mean He REALLY knows me. Inside and out. He has examined the depths of my heart. He knows my thoughts and my motives. He knows the words I whisper in my heart but choose not to speak. He knows all about me. (Psalm 139:1-5) That can be a scary thought. At least in my mind, because you see, I too know the ugly parts of my heart. I hear my unkind thoughts.

My constant cry is Psalms 139:23-24 which says, “Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my thoughts. Point out anything in me that offends you, and lead me along the path of everlasting life.”

Ya’ all, here is the deal. I am a sinner. Oh I know Jesus died for me and conquered death. I know I have been born of the Spirit of God who now lives in me. I know there is grace. I know I stand forgiven. But all this does not change the fact that I still sin.

I still get angry when I should love.

I still fight forgiving others when they hurt me.

I still want my own way.

I still want it to be about me.

I am still stubborn. I can be very unkind. My are not always pure. I can be a hypocrite, a Pharisee and I could go on, but you get the idea. On many days I can forget I am redeemed. And  I often serve whatever idol of the day is rising up in my heart for control.

Regardless of what you think, what you might perceive, I do not have it all together. I have not arrived to some level of super Christian or to a mega spiritual level. So if you want to stop following me, or stop being my friend, or if you lose confidence in me as a leader, a mentor, a disciple(r)? I get it. Really I do.

But know this. It breaks my heart as much as it breaks yours. I grieve over the sinfulness of my heart. The sin it is capable of committing. Sometimes I wonder if there is any hope at all for my heart to really change.

I mean, like change forever!

But the truth is my heart has already changed forever. I now have a new heart. I have the heart of Christ who is changing me daily. I have a heart that desires to do good and to please God. Yet while I am still here on earth I will always battle my flesh.

I have changed and I am changing. Sin is no longer my master. Because of Christ’s victory on the cross I know am no longer a slave to sin. Sin no longer has to control the way I live. I have been freed from the power of sin.  (Romans 6) But still, I will fail. I will sin. I will do the very thing I do not want to do.

I, like you, battle the flesh and I can say with Paul in Romans 7:18-19 (NLT) “I know I am rotten through and through so far as my old sinful nature is concerned. No matter which way I turn, I can't make myself do right. I want to, but I can't. When I want to do good, I don't. And when I try not to do wrong, I do it anyway.”

So what hope do I have? What hope is there? Oh what a miserable person I am!! Who will free me from this battle of the flesh? This sinful heart? “Thank God! The answer is in Jesus Christ our Lord. So you see how it is: In my mind I really want to obey God's law, but because of my sinful nature I am a slave to sin. So now there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus. For the power of the life-giving Spirit has freed you through Christ Jesus from the power of sin that leads to death. ” (Romans 7:24-8:2)

I am not condemned. God does not condemn me, He only sees the work of the cross. He sees the righteousness of Jesus. Therefore I will not condemn myself. I will not condemn you. And please, I ask, do not condemn me. Let us remember that the power of the life-giving Spirit has freed us and is in the process of changing us to be ever more like Him.

Let’s offer grace to one another. Grace that says, “I trust the Spirit that is working in you.” Grace that says, “I see Jesus working in you.”

 

 

I am linking up with….

 

Weeds of Insecurity

My insecurities showed up big time this weekend. I began to look around and it seemed there are those who are doing really important things. They are doing big, grand things for God.

I overheard a conversation where these words were spoken, “it’s the beautiful people, the educated, those with power and status, that get to do the big things.” I know it was their own insecurities, and maybe hurt, that spoke those words but still they found their way deep into my heart and began to take root. They took root in the soil of my own insecurities that tell me quite often that I am not enough.

I allowed the roots a place to grow deep and take hold of my heart for most the day. I wondered why those who were highly educated seemed to always be recognized, and esteemed for what they were doing. Does God really prefer the one with degrees over the one without? Seeds of renewed doubt grew. I questioned my purpose, my value. What do I have to offer? What can I do? It felt like yet another door slammed into my face because I have no degree. Once again I am not enough. I lack value to be used by the church, by those in power.

In the midst of this root growing to the point of almost strangling me to death I felt the warmth of truth begin to flow through my spirit. I knew my thoughts were being plagued with lies. Discouraging lies that threaten to render me useless. And as those lies fought for control, fought to be heard, the truth battled harder. The truth would not give up until it silenced the lies.

What is the truth? I am beloved of God and He has a purpose for me. Psalm 139 reminds me that before the foundations of the world He knew me. In my mother’s womb He formed me. I have a purpose. I am enough in God’s eyes. I have value and I am very much loved.

The truth is, regardless of my status in society, or my education I am called by God to be a light to a very dark world. I am called to obey, to sacrifice, to give my life as an offering to Him. For some that might mean big and grand things. It might mean being worldly famous and traveling to a foreign land. For others it might mean wiping a tear of a child who lost her mother.

This is the truth God impressed upon me in the midst of my insecurities. Each of His children are doing big, important work. Whether you are a doctor helping cure a disease in Africa, a counselor healing the wounded, a woman cooking a meal for the sick or one that feeds a homeless person as you walk to work God sees all. He does not value one over the other. In fact what God values most is a heart that is fully His, a heart that is abandoned to His will, what ever that will might be.

Finally, I was reminded that it does not matter what men think. God does not care about your qualifications or lack of them. He is the One who will qualify those He calls...those willing to do whatever He wills. So I need to go in confidence and DO what He has called me to do and stop looking at what others are doing for Him. What He calls them to do is none of my concern. But at the same time don’t let anyone tell me that I can't do what He has called ME to.

I came across this poem this morning and it just seemed to be a fitting reminder that we are all famous to someone, in our own way, using the gifts and abilities God has given us.

 

BY NAOMI SHIHAB NYE
The river is famous to the fish.
The loud voice is famous to silence,
which knew it would inherit the earth
before anybody said so.
The cat sleeping on the fence is famous to the birds
watching him from the birdhouse.
The tear is famous, briefly, to the cheek.
The idea you carry close to your bosom
is famous to your bosom.
The boot is famous to the earth,
more famous than the dress shoe,
which is famous only to floors.
The bent photograph is famous to the one who carries it
and not at all famous to the one who is pictured.
I want to be famous to shuffling men
who smile while crossing streets,
sticky children in grocery lines,
famous as the one who smiled back.
I want to be famous in the way a pulley is famous,
or a buttonhole, not because it did anything spectacular,
but because it never forgot what it could do.

 

Joining….

WANTED: Christ Followers

For those seeking peace, grace, love, mercy, healing, security, hope, forgiveness, riches beyond anything this world has to offer and so much more there is a place for you. There is one who longs for you, seeks for you and has died for you.

You see long ago before the world began God saw you and loved you. He wants a personal relationship with you, but a man and woman sinned. As a result you and I are born into sin, as sinners. So in order to rectify the sinful nature that now separates us from God He needed a spotless perfect sacrifice in order to make a covenant with those who would accept Him. God the Son, Jesus, willingly laid down His life so that all who are willing to believe on Him may enter into a covenant with Him.

There is a cost however. The cost of the covenant has been paid through the flesh and blood of Christ and forgiveness is offered to all who, by faith walk through the blood of Christ. As one who is now in covenant with God there will be a great cost, but the reward is even greater.

If you are a follower of Christ the cost will be...

• We will have a common enemy with Christ, Satan. He will seek to destroy you.
• You will be persecuted and betrayed by the world, including your own family. We will suffer in this life.
• We will be afflicted.
• Sorrow.
• Weaknesses, insults, distresses, persecutions and difficulties.
• To carry your own cross in which you must bear.
• Die to self.
• You will be hated by the world.
• To give up pursuing treasures in this world.

There is a Reward of being a covenant partner with Christ. These things are promised to every follower.You can expect:

• You will not battle your enemies alone – Christ fights for you and with you.
• He will never leave nor forsake you.
• Your soul will be entrusted to a faithful God who will do what is right.
• To be worthy of the Kingdom of God
• Favor with God
• To draw on His Strength.
• A new self, a new robe of righteousness.
• Forgiveness of sin.
• Eternal life with Christ in heaven with God.
• Co-Heirs with Christ.
• Called beloved of God.
• Saved from God’s wrath.

These lists are not exhaustive, there is so much more to see – to know. But for now I just want you to understand that to be a follower of Christ means that there is a cost to pay. Being in Covenant with Christ means that we are willingly taking on Christ and His sufferings. It means that we will persevere until the end when God’s glory WILL be revealed in us. Oh what a glorious day that will be!!

One final caution, if you are a true follower of Christ you WILL suffer in this life for His sake. You will choose to die to self and all the pleasures (sin) this world offers. If you are not willing to “count the cost and carry your cross daily” you might want to ask the Holy Spirit if you are truly a follower of Christ.

For further study see Matthew 10:16-39; Romans 8:17; 2 Cor 1:6; Phil 1:29; 2 Tim 1:12 \ 3:11; 1 Peter 4:19; 2 Thess 1:5, 1 Peter 2:19; 2 Cor 12:10; Luke 14:27; Matt 16:24; Col 3:9-10; Mark 13:13; John 15:18; 1 Peter 1:3-5; Romans 5:6-10…

Re-posted from 2010

5 Things to Remember Before Falling Apart

It never fails. I am in the midst of a crisis, no matter how big or small and I find myself at wits end. I am emotional, can’t seem to make a decision, at least a good one. So I stand there crying, wondering where it all went wrong, why I am here again. How did I fall into believing lies again? Why do I feel like I am falling apart?
I am weak. I forget my weakness. I call a friend and she reminds me that I haven’t been sleeping, I’ve been in pain and my defenses are down.
She has had to remind me many times. I have forgotten all to easily. Too many times. But she is patient, she sees what I do not. She knows that eventually I will get it. There will come a day when I will be prepared before I am tempted to fall.
That day is today. I do understand better that when I am weak physically I will be open to attacks spiritually.  My enemy knows that when I am tired and in pain I am more vulnerable to his attacks.
Today I came across something written by Charles Stanley which is an excellent reminder. He uses the word H.A.L.T. but I also added an S. When we find ourselves about to lose control or we feel ill equipped to make a decision we need to remember to stop or “HALTS” and evaluate ourselves.
1) HUNGER – Am I hungry? Have I given my body proper nourishment? When can get cranky when we are hungry. And we we are hungry we are less likely to make good decisions or react in a good way.
Am I hungry spiritually? Have I been in the word consistently or am I starving myself of spiritual nourishment.
If I am hungry then I must eat. Eating something healthy is wise. If it’s spiritual hunger I need to run back to the word and read it. I need to drink deeply of His truth.
2) ANGER – Am I angry? Is there something I haven’t dealt with or someone? Anger can distort our judgment. Anger can also cause us to lash out or over react to our current circumstances.
If I am angry then I need to deal with it. I need to talk to someone about it, forgive or do whatever is necessary.
3) LONELY -  Am I lonely? Have I isolated myself? Do I have someone I could reach out to.
If I am lonely then I need to call a friend. I need to reach out and make new friends if I am in a season of not having many.
4) TIRED - Am I tired? Having I been getting less sleep? Sleep is essential for our bodies.  When we are tired we can find it harder to be nice. We can find it harder to think straight or make good choices.
IF I am tired then I need to be intentional about getting more sleep.
5) SICK – Am I sick? To I have a fever or a cold? Am I in pain or just overall feeling sick? When we are sick we often feel miserable and in that mindset we are not thinking clearly. Again, when sick, we often are less likely to be kind or patient with others.
When I am sick I need to take care of my body. I need to be aware that when I am not feeling well I may not act well.
So what can we do?
Most of us find ourselves in one or more of the above. We must remember that when we are tired, sick and hungry that it might not be the best times to try to make a major decision. When we are feeling lonely we must remember that we become more vulnerable to the lies of the enemy.
We must also be honest. Be honest with yourself and those around you. Share with them that you are tired and in a lot of pain and while you aren’t using it as an excuse you want them to understand.
We must pray. Admit to God where you are at. Ask for His help, His strength and His Spirit.
And finally we might want to delay any further decisions or actions until you address some of these things. You can deal with them later when you are better equipped to approach it with prayer, patience, and godly wisdom. 
We can choose to not fall apart. We can choose to look at where we are physically, where we are spiritually and then take these things to the cross of Christ where we have unlimited access to His love, grace, strength and help.
Please hear me on this. If you are not in a good place spiritually or physically then it will effect you emotionally. It will effect your coping abilities and your decision making. You will be more likely to “fall apart”. But it does not have to be that way. You can choose differently.
Now that I understand how these things effect me I am better able to choose to rise above my emotions. When I am aware that I hurt and I am tired then I can be on guard and better prepared. I don’t have to fall apart! That my dear friend is freeing.

To Finish Well

In my last blog post I shared how King Asa was a king that sought the Lord. He removed idols from the kingdom and He restored the things in house of God.

I shared “…the LORD is with you when you are with Him. And if you seek Him, He will let you find Him; but if you forsake Him, He will forsake you.” (2 Chron 15:2) God was with the King. God gives Asa a reign of peace, without war. We are even told that King “…Asa's heart was blameless...” (2 Chron 15:7)

At this point you could say that King Asa was off to a good start. A life that pleases God. A life that seeks God in all he does. He was running his race and he was winning, so to speak. He was living a life of peace in the land. But if you read verse 19 of chapter 15 you see that things change in the 35th year of his reign.

Beginning in 2 Chron 16 we see that war breaks out. Now you would think that King Asa would remember that in the past God helped them defeat an army of a million men. (16:8-9) King Asa had prayed to God (16:11) for help and God answered. (16:12-15) But this time when war comes King Asa takes matters into his own hands. He doesn’t seek God’s counsel. He makes a treaty with the king of Aram.

Was he over confident in his own abilities? Had he became complacent during those 30 plus years of peace? Scripture doesn’t tell us why this change in Asa. All we know for sure is that when he was in trouble this time he relied on man (King Aram) for help. So we know something in the heart of Asa had changed. King Asa did not win this battle. God was displeased.

2 Chron 16:7 tells us “…Hanani the seer came to Asa king of Judah and said to him, "Because you have relied on the king of Aram and have not relied on the LORD your God, therefore the army of the king of Aram has escaped out of your hand.” Hanani goes on to remind Asa of the time he has sought the Lord in war and God has answered." and then says “For the eyes of the LORD move to and fro throughout the earth that He may strongly support those whose heart is completely His. You have acted foolishly in this. Indeed, from now on you will surely have wars” (16:9)

I don’t know about you but I like happy endings. Unfortunately King Asa didn’t finish well. He did not have a happy ending to his life. At this point King Asa could have fallen before the Lord in humility and confessed that he had sinned against God. But King Asa did not. Instead he became angry and put the seer in prison. Scripture says he was “Enraged”. He was so upset that not only did he take his anger out on the seer but he also oppressed some of the people. (16:10-11)

Because of King Asa’s actions God choose to give him a disease of his feet. 2 Chronicles says in 16:12 that the disease was severe but even in this King Asa did not seek the Lord. Instead he choose to put his trust in the physicians. Two years later King Asa would die. 

As I look at King Asa’s life I wonder about my own walk on this earth. Do I seek God’s council or man’s? Who do I most often put my trust in? My dear sisters I don’t know about you but I want to finish well. I want to come to the end of my life and know that I have finished my race. I want to know that I have ran it with endurance. (Heb 12:1) I do not want to be one that shrinks back but one that has faith to preserve. (Heb:35-39)

How can I persevere to the end? I am sure my list is NOT exhaustive but this is what came to my mind as I was reflecting on Asa’s poor finish.

God wants a heart that is completely His. 2Chron16:9 God doesn’t want bits and pieces of our lives that we are willing to give Him, He wants access to all of our life. God wants someone who seeks Him and Him alone. Our whole life belongs to Him.

Our confidence must be in God. Hebrews chapter 10:35 says Therefore don’t throw your confidence away. But then what should we place our confidence in? Hebrew 10:1-34 tells us to place our confidence in Jesus Christ whose sacrifice is sufficient for us all. Our confidence is in the power of a living God who was raised from the dead.

We need endurance. We must understand that times in this life will be hard. We WILL have struggles, trials and temptations. When we face circumstances that seem impossible we need to persevere through it in the strength of Christ. We can not run to man (or woman) but we must run to God. (Heb. 10)

Remember past victories.  Hebrews 11 gives us a long list of those who persevered in their faith. We see men and women who faced unbelievable circumstances and yet they kept there faith in the God who would deliver them. Then in Heb. 12:1a we are told “Therefore, since we have so great a cloud of witnesses surrounding us…” Remember the pass victories of others and in your own life. Believe that if God worked things out before He is working things out now.

Lay aside this life. Hebrews 12:1b says “let us also lay aside every encumbrance and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us.” I think it’s fairly self explanatory and yet not always so easily done. But we must pursue a life that lives separated from things in this world. WE must stay away from those things or people that easily distract us and ends up getting us entangled in to sin. We must lay aside our selfish desires and press on toward a life that finishes well.

Oh Father help me to run my race with endurance. Help me to lay aside those things that keep me from running a good race. Show me those places in my heart that I have held from you. Father I desire to to run a race that is pleasing to You. I want a heart that is wholly yours, a heart that seeks you and you alone. And yet I am so weak. I give in so easily to my flesh!

“O LORD, there is no one besides You to help in the battle between the powerful and those who have no strength ; so help me, O LORD my God, for I trust in You” 2 Chron 14:11

Suffering, the Plan of God

Every time I read through Genesis I am reminded anew that God has a plan for my life. He has a plan for each of us. Knowing He has a plan helps, however rarely do we fully understand or accept the journey He leads us to.

His plan for Abraham was to make him a great nation. God says to him in Genesis 12:2 “And I will make you a great nation, And I will bless you, And make your name great; And so you shall be a blessing.”

Of course we know Abram’s reaction. He was old and had no children so how could he possibly become a great nation.

Abram, like I do so often, ran ahead of God. He thought he could help God out. Abram needed an heir, Sarah had a plan. It sounds good, it must be God’s will, it must be the way God plans of making him a nation.

A son is born to a servant girl. All seems well. God will bless Abram’s son. Abraham will be a great nation. At least I am sure this was what Sarah and Abraham thought.

But God has HIS plan. A better plan. A plan that would be sure to show He was God Almighty. For God would open the womb of an old woman, beyond child-bearing years, and give her a son. This son, named Isaac, is whom God would make a nation through.

Making the impossible possible.

Why don’t I get that? Why do I always think it’s about what I can do? How I think I can help God? Why do I run ahead of God thinking I know what or how He is going to do what He has promised? (sigh)

The promises of God are rarely, if ever, fulfilled in the way we think they might be… or should be. And yet I continue to try to figure it all out. I want to know how God will fulfill what He promises. I want to know ahead of time what He plans for me.

It’s not the way God works. For example God says to Abraham in Gen 15:13 "Know for certain that your descendants will be strangers in a land that is not theirs, where they will be enslaved and oppressed four hundred years. But I will also judge the nation whom they will serve, and afterward they will come out with many possessions”.

Now if it was me I would think “Wait! What do you mean they will be enslaved and oppressed for 400 years?” But Abraham didn’t seem to question it. Maybe he just trusted in the promise of God and didn’t worry about how God would fulfill it. He had worried about that before and made a mess of it. Maybe this time he was going to just trust God to do it and not wonder how? I don’t know…just thinking out loud.

What we do know is that several generations what God said He did fulfill. In Genesis 46:2-4 we see God speaking to Jacob, Abraham’s grandson, and telling him “do not be afraid to go to Egypt, for I will make you a great nation there. I will go down with you to Egypt, and I will also surely bring you up again”

So God sends Abraham’s descendants into Egypt knowing they would be there for 400 years. It would be hard. They would become enslaved, oppressed and wonder “where is God?” But they would grow to be a strong nation. Their numbers would multiply greatly.

We don’t like to think of it. To be reminded that God sent the nation into slavery in order to grow. God sent them to suffer under taskmasters so that they would become a strong people.

God knew that one day His people would cry out and He would save them. He knew they would need to be strong and have the ability to endure hardship before they ever entered into the land of Promise. God knew that the 400 years in slavery would prepare them for the 40 years they would end up in the desert.

What about me? What about you?

I know the promises of God. I know that Jesus will return. I know that while I am here God has a plan for my life. But when faced with hard times do I feel forgotten? Do I wonder what I have done to warrant pain or suffering? Do I automatically assume God must be punishing me?

Or do I look upon suffering as a time of God preparing me for the next step in life. Do I see pain as a way that God may be training me in endurance?

The above example is just one of many examples that show God using suffering as a way to train, prepare, discipline and/or grow His people.

I’ve heard it said that you can’t make a sailor out of a man on calm waters. It’s true of life too. If there was never any trials, suffering, difficulties in life we would be easily overtaken by our enemies.

God uses the rough seas of life to train us and teach us to endure. I also believe, based on my own experience, that God uses whatever trial I might currently be going through to prepare me for the next season of life.

All of life is a training ground. We are being trained, disciplined toward holiness. It’s through suffering that we grow more Christ like. So take courage today and remember

 So then, since Christ suffered physical pain, you must arm yourselves with the same attitude he had, and be ready to suffer, too. For if you are willing to suffer for Christ, you have decided to stop sinning. And you won't spend the rest of your life chasing after evil desires, but you will be anxious to do the will of God… So if you are suffering according to God's will, keep on doing what is right, and trust yourself to the God who made you, for he will never fail you.1 Peter 4:1-2,19

Undone by Your Grace

My heart is troubled as I look within and see the darkness that lurks there.

I want Jesus to empty me of my will, self-desires, self sufficiency and the idols that keep me from truly seeking my Fathers heart.

I long for the deepest part of God- to know His heart- to feel it beating inside me.

I long for it and yet it terrifies me.

His heart, His love, it will break me. I will be undone.

It is required in order to truly die to self. To give myself over completely. To be undone by His love. His grace.

My flesh rises up and wants to overpower my longing to die!! I must, once again, lay it all at the cross.

My focus should always be the cross and what happened there.

Christ dying for my sin. Conquering death, He lives.

My soul is weary. Weary of the battle. Fighting the flesh.

But weariness comes when I take my eyes off of Jesus, the cross and what was accomplished there.

Why does my flesh, my will, try to fight a battle that has already been won.

There is victory.

Victory has been won through Christ.

Father help me to surrender, to be completely undone by Your grace.

Help me rest.

The Mad King

There was a young shepherd boy who would be king. I imagine as this young boy stood day after day looking after his sheep he spent time talking to his God. He knew God’s protection and faithfulness while alone in the pastures. He knew it was God who watched over him when he killed the lion, the bear and even a giant!

Things changed the day he killed that giant. The boy’s whole life changed. He went from watching over the flocks to serving in the court of the king.

Can you imagine what a change that must have been? Do you think he ever wondered about God's plan for his life? He had been told he would be king, so why did he now serve the king? And a mad king at that!

The days could have been confusing for him, or did he trust his God so completely that he understood this was part of the plan? Do you think he ever thought about his sheep? Did he desire to go back where it was safer, quieter than the court of a mad king?

I suppose it’s possible to imagine it to be a good place to be at the time. Wondering what new and wonderful thing God might do. The young boy grew in favor of the king and the kings’ son. The boy became like family. Maybe he considered himself blessed by God for taking him out of the pastures and placing him in the court of a king. Was there ever any doubt in his mind as he served the king?

This boy, a shepherd was told he would be king. Do you think he wondered just how God was going to make him king? Or did he just follow in obedience that path which his God led him on?

I wonder what went through his mind as the king’s favor turned on him and the king began to hunt him down with the spear. He had grown up in the court, sat at the table of the king and now he wanted to kill him? Was this truly part of God’s plan? How was God to make him king if he was dead?

I wonder if this boy understood that God was in the process of teaching him submission and brokenness. This boy loved his Lord God and desired to follow Him. To be pursued by your friend as if you were an enemy must have been difficult. There had to be times of doubt and depression, of wondering if he heard God correctly.

Was he really to be king?

This boy understood more than most boys do.

The king was delivered into the hands of the boy several times, he had opportunity to kill the king but did not. But why not? He could have thought “It was God’s plan for him to be killed so that the boy could be king”. The boy understood something that many of us do not. He understood that you do not raise a hand against God’s anointed.

The king was mad and God no longer with him, but he was still God’s anointed. If God places His anointed over you and he seeks to destroy you it does not give you the right to turn around and destroy him. What this young man may or may not have realized is that it is often the unbroken, mad king, who God sovereignly picks, to teach us submission and brokenness.

I learned a valuable lesson while reading about this boy who would be king. He understood what many of us today do not understand. God sometimes places us in kingdoms with mad spear throwing kings. We want to run and hide, we want to fight back, we want everyone to know about this king gone mad. But remember what this boy said in the midst of being in such a kingdom. He said “ Don't destroy him! Who can lay a hand on the Lord’s anointed and be guiltless? As surely as the Lord lives the Lord himself will strike him; either his time will come and he will die, or he will go into battle and perish. But the Lord forbid that I should lay a hand on the Lord’s anointed.”(1 Sam 26:9-11)

The question then is “how do we know we are in a kingdom of a mad king or not”? We can not know, only God knows for sure. Some may think they know but they do not, God does not tell. God asks us to live in the kingdom of a mad king. But what about the spears, do we just stand there and get pierced? Yes, as hard as it seems we do for God has anointed that king over us for a season and a sovereign reason at that.

Some may be thinking at the moment, “Are you mad?” But ask yourself this question, “Can you be so sure that your king is a mad king and not a man after God’s heart that you’d be willing to kill him?” If you are then remember another time when a man thought to be mad was crucified.

 

Many years ago I read the book A Tale of Three Kings by Gene Edwards. It had a huge impact on the way I now view the leaders God places over me. Whether it be Pastors, Elders or Presidents. Today as I finished my readings through 1 and 2 Samuel I thought of that book along with the example David gives us in his attitude toward Saul. So I sat down and wrote the above.

No More CHRISTmas

Each year I find my heart grows sadder during the Christmas season as I watch more and more of Christ being taken out of the celebrations.

Sadly I witness the true meaning of Christmas being buried and forgotten beneath holiday decorations, presents, Santa, elves, and anything else that man can think of in order to gain a profit and our enemy use to distract from the birth of our Lord.

This year, more than any other, I keep asking myself “where is Jesus?” Drive down the road and you see very few nativity scenes. Home after home there are many Santa’s and such. But where is Jesus?

I wonder if we are headed to a time, in the not so distance future, when people will actually forget it’s the birthday of the Christ. Already towns are being told to remove nativity scenes and Christmas crosses. It’s hard to find any retail store that will say Merry Christmas. Children can’t sing Christmas songs about Christ in school. It seems with each generation the babe that came to save us is pushed further away.

It’s true, none of this is completely surprising to me, as the enemy has done a good job of deceiving those who don’t believe in Christ anyway. But what does surprise me, what saddens my heart, is that even those who believe in Christ have either put Him in the background of their celebrations or practically removed Him from the holiday.

Christmas has become a celebration of Rudolph the Red nose Reindeer, and Dasher, and Dancer, Frosty the snowman and an elf you can adopt who will then report back to Santa if boys and girls are good or not. Apart from having nothing to do with Jesus are we saying it’s good parenting to teach our children that bribery is okay? Do we really want our children thinking the reason for good behavior is to get presents? What does this have to do with Christ and the need of a savior?

God doesn’t need elves, He sees everything. He knows that there is not one that is good, we have all sinned. Therefore we are in need of Jesus, not Santa.

Please understand there is nothing wrong with sharing the real story of St Nicholas who was a good saint, but why would Christians allow this man to become the center of the holiday? Why would believers in Christ buy into all the commercialism of the holiday and those things that draw us away from Christ? It’s not Nickmas, Elfmas,  or Santamas,  it is CHRISTmas right?

So if it’s still called Christmas, and it’s a celebration of Jesus coming to earth as a baby then why not make it about Jesus? Why not center our celebrations on the birth of One who would save us from our sins?

Just one last thought. If Christians do not celebrate the birth of Christ differently than the world how will we be a LIGHT? No wonder the world is walking away from the the true meaning and allowing Christ to be removed, why wouldn’t they if Christians are also forgetting the Babe who came to earth.

I am still processing…wondering…praying and asking. I just can’t seem to break the feeling that we are losing Christ in Christmas.

30 Days of Blessings: The Desert

I’ve been here before, but the desert walk has been harder this time. I am here for a purpose. There is something to learn, to see.

Our time spent here always has a purpose. It’s never wasted.

In my earlier journeys through the desert I have not been prepared. I came without food or water. My soul would dry up and I would feel as if I were dead. I identified with a quote from C.S. Lewis that says, “My heart is empty.  All the fountains that should run with longing, are in me dried up.”

There is sadness. Deep sadness. A sadness I do not understand.

A friend wrote a blog several years ago in which he said “Whether you feel like you are on a sinking ship rowing for all you are worth and barely keeping yourself above water, or like every iota of happiness has been leeched from your soul, it is a horrible way to live.” He calls it soul sadness and it perfectly describes where I am at the moment.

The thought that goes through my mind often is “Lord, where is the joy of my salvation?”

I am fighting hard, harder than I have ever fought before while in the desert. I thought this journey might be different. Easier. I have food and water. I know the truth of the Word. I am crying out to God. I know He is here with me.

In past journeys I have had others walk along with me, but this time I walk alone. Alone with God. I don’t know if this is by God’s design or not. I only know the depth of my aloneness feels very real. And yet in the aloneness, and deep sadness God speaks to my heart. He is here. I know He has not abandoned me. He has not left my side. I KNOW this. I find comfort in this.

Last night I read Kim’s blog post on Psalms 18 so this morning I read through the chapter. I marked all personal pronouns (me, my, I) and I marked all references to God. I wanted to see what God had to say. Like Kim I don’t think I ever really thought about the fact that not only is God A rock He is MY rock.

This chapter reminded that indeed MY God is with me. He is" “my rock and my fortress and my deliverer, My God, my rock, in whom I take refuge ; My shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.” (v2)

I can call on Him and He will help me. He hears my cry for help. And I know that as long as I pursue after righteousness HE will delight in me. He will rescue me. (vs 6, 17-23)

Then I came to the last part of the chapter. In these words God fed my soul. He reminded me of who He is. Knowing who God is brings food and water to refresh the soul.

 “As for God, His way is blameless; The word of the LORD is tried; He is a shield to all who take refuge in Him. For who is God, but the LORD? And who is a rock, except our God, The God who girds me with strength And makes my way blameless? He makes my feet like hinds' feet, And sets me upon my high places. He trains my hands for battle, So that my arms can bend a bow of bronze. You have also given me the shield of Your salvation, And Your right hand upholds me; And Your gentleness makes me great. You enlarge my steps under me, And my feet have not slipped….The LORD lives, and blessed be my rock; And exalted be the God of my salvation, The God who executes vengeance for me, And subdues peoples under me… Therefore I will give thanks to You among the nations, O LORD, And I will sing praises to Your name. He gives great deliverance to His king, And shows lovingkindness to His anointed, To David and his descendants forever.” (see verses 30-50)

I know the word of the Lord is true. I know I can trust in it. So as I walk this journey again I walk with a hope I have not had on past journeys.

Because I have hope I can see this desert place as a blessing. It doesn’t make the journey easier but it does enable me to keep walking. I can feel the deep soul sadness but KNOW it will not destroy me. It will not weaken me. I will keep holding fast to TRUTH. I will keep hungering and thirsting after His Spirit.

So, I am blessed, not so much because of being here again, but because this time I know in the depths of my soul that My God will deliver me. And when He does I will come forth stronger and better equipped for whatever road I am to travel next.

30 Days of Blessings: His Spirit

I am blessed in so many ways. In ways I don’t even know. But today I am not feeling it. It’s been hard to FEEL it. I want to give into my flesh. I want to just sit and have a pity party. I want SOMEONE to feel sorry for me. I want to feel important to at least one person.

I want it to be about ME!! Seriously I do! ((Sigh)) At least my flesh does.

There is something greater at work in me. There is One who calls me daily to die to my flesh. He reminds me that I am not to walk according to my flesh but according to the Spirit. His Spirit. He reminds me that to walk according to my flesh means death, it means I live hostile toward God.

It’s not about me. It can never be about me. It’s about HIM. It must always be about Him. For Him.

His Spirit is in me. That same Spirit that raised Christ from the dead. His Spirit dwells in me, and if it does then how can I live according to my flesh? I am compelled to live according to the Spirit who live in me.

I must die. So you see it doesn’t really matter how I FEEL today. It doesn’t  matter how bad, grumpy or sick I feel or what circumstance I face. I can still choose to cling to the Spirit at work in me. On days like today when it gets hard to see the blessings I can rely on His Spirit to help me see the good.

So today His Spirit testifies to my spirit and reminds me I am blessed with so much more than I could ever imagine. And for this I give thanks.

So then, brethren, we are under obligation, not to the flesh, to live according to the flesh - for if you are living according to the flesh, you must die ; but if by the Spirit you are putting to death the deeds of the body, you will live. Rom 8:12,13   (Read all of Romans 8)

 

O God, My Father forgive me! Help me!I know that Your Spirit intercedes for me and strengthens me in my weaknesses. Thank you Father! Search my heart and mind, help me walk according to Your purposes. Deliver me from those things that will threaten to come between my walk with You. Amen.

Endurance

I hate days like today.

Feelings

Insecurity

Doubt

Wondering

Fighting the battle is difficult.

Endurance

Joy

Contentment

Peace

Lies and Truth seem inseparable.

Stand

Fail

WORD

Emotions

Every day is a choice.

Life

Death

truth

Lies

Today I choose LIFE and TRUTH.

Regardless of EMOTIONS and LIES.

I Don’t Need to Hide From You

Today I heard a song that spoke into the places of my heart that have been crying out to God.

Those places where I KNOW the enemy has been whispering lies. Lies that cause doubt and tell me I am unworthy. Lies that say I am not enough, God can’t use me.

You know the lies my sweet sister’s don’t you? We all have them, we all hear them. Sometimes they come boldly and we fight them off with truth.

Other times, when our defenses are down they come creeping in and get ahold of us before we realize it.

This is where I have been.

I haven’t kept my defenses up. I have allowed the enemy to breach a part of my wall that I haven’t been diligent to keep strong.

Yesterday the word God had for me came from Heb 10:35-36 that reminded me that I NEED patient endurance. I need to remember that my confidence comes from the very One who created me to do His good will.

My confidence is in Christ who remains faithful. It is in Him I have hope. (Heb 10:23)

How did that affect my thinking? It was a wonderful reminder that I am to patiently endure that which He has called me to do. I am to walk in the hope of an eternal reward. I walk based on the truth I KNOW not what I feel and certainly not what the enemy would like me to believe.

Truth is – God created me for a purpose and He has given me everything I need to do that which He has called me to do.

Truth is – He knows me inside and outside. He knows my heart, my mind, my passions and desires and HE LOVES ME. And while there are times I do need to hide my heart from others, I never ever have to hide from Him.

 

Today these words from a song worked to reinforce that which God has been speaking…

You don’t have to prove yourself you are already mine. You don’t don’t have to hide your heart, I already love you and I hold it in mine. So You don’t have to work so hard ….just rest easy

Maybe you also find yourself working too hard to prove you are worthy of His love…I pray this song might speak to your heart also.

 

When I am Weak, He is Strong

Have you ever had those days when you are just tired? Tired of fighting the flesh? Tired of trying to be who you are suppose to be? Tired of fighting the lies of the enemy? Tired of fighting wrong emotions and feelings?

It’s where I have been for a couple days now. My emotions have been all over the place. Sometimes it feels like my feelings, thoughts and life are a tangled mess.

I try as hard as I can but just can’t seem to untangle the mess of emotions. It’s exhausting trying to sort out what I am suppose to feel, what is normal, and what is not.

I am suppose to be a big girl and have all this figured out. Right? Or is that another lie? Am I suppose to ask for help? But who do I ask? Who would understand? Who would really be available to sit and listen? And NOT think I was totally losing it! Who could I talk to that would know it’s just a moment. Who would give me grace and allow me a few minutes to talk out loud and then I’ll be fine? Because most of the time I just need to talk out loud.

Currently, the lies in my head say I have no one. No one that is but Jesus. (I do KNOW deep in my heart that this is another lie. Our emotions often DO lie to us!) But still I wonder, shouldn’t Jesus be enough? I mean, He IS enough. He IS all I need. He’s the only one I am suppose to really need. Right?

If that is true then why does this place feel like a place of such loneliness? Is this yet another lie? Another attempt of the enemy to try and wedge discontent between me and my God? To create a distance between me and those God has placed in my life to journey with?

It all makes me tired and it’s exhausting….and I just want to go home. To my Father. I am tired of my enemy's constant knocking on the door of my mind. Seriously, I believe my mind is the enemy's most powerful weapon against me.

Then it hits me…

The selfishness of the flesh that cries out to be noticed, to be fed. Yes I am weary of the constant onslaught of what seems like the constant battles of my mind. Wrong thinking. Emotions that want to be given into. Emotions that cry out to be felt. But they are lies that FEEL like truth.

I am weary because for this moment I have forgotten. I have forgotten truth. The truth that I know, believe and trust in.

The truth is I do not fight alone.

I have forgotten to be diligent about putting on the armor of God so that I can fight against the powers of this dark world. The evil forces of this world do not let up, they desire to destroy me. 

 I have forgotten that I need to stand firm with the belt of truth buckled tightly around my waist. Never should I be without it. 

I have forgotten that I am to take my shield of faith up daily against the flaming arrows of the evil one. 

I have forgotten that I do not fight alone but with the Lord and in His mighty power. 

I have forgotten that when I am weak HE IS strong. I can run to Him and find rest, even in the midst of my struggles.

Paul reminds the Ephesians in chapter 6 that they are in a battle. They are to be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. He tells them that in order to take a stand against the devils schemes they need the armor of God. They need to stand firm, be alert, and always praying.

I need the armor of God. I need to pray. I need to stand strong in His mighty power.

And then in Paul’s final sentences he tells the Ephesians that he is going to send Tychicus so that they might be encouraged. Don’t you love it?

Paul reminds them that yes, they ARE to stand firm, they ARE to wear the armor of God, they ARE to be alert and pray BUT he knows they also need the encouragement of others.

We need our brothers and sisters who can come along and encourage us when we become battle weary. To strengthen us and pray with and for us.

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. 2 Cor 12:9-10

Oh precious Father, thank you for these words of reminder. Thank you for helping me through this moment. Father forgive me for my forgetfulness and selfishness. Help me to lean on You and allow You to bring other’s into my life to encourage me. Help me to remember I don’t always have to be strong, have it all together or be perfect. For in my weaknesses You can show Your strength, Your power and Your grace.

Have We Failed The Test?

Since the beginning of the year I have been reading through the Bible and jotting down blog ideas! Thoughts that have really struck me in a new or different way, hoping that I’ll be able to get back to them and study further. Well, several weeks ago I read Judges 3 and saw something I hadn’t really noticed before and my mind has not let it go.

Judges 3 begins this way, “The LORD left certain nations in the land to test those Israelites who had not participated in the wars of Canaan. He did this to teach warfare to generations of Israelites who had no experience in battle…These people were left to test the Israelites -- to see whether they would obey the commands the LORD had given to their ancestors through Moses.” (v.1,2,4)

As I read those verses I couldn’t help but to compare it to my life. To life here in what is considered a “Christian” nation. A nation built on godly morals by people who fought for their religious freedom. They were not afraid to take a stand against those who would deny their right to worship God. They left everything they knew, everything they had and came to a land that promised freedom.

I’ve often wondered how we got here, to where we are today. A nation led by godless leaders. Making laws in favor of things God calls sin. How did we become a nation that allows homosexuals to marry? We allow babies to be aborted? We have allowed God to be taken out of our schools, our work place and our government!

Where did it happen? When did godly men and women begin turning a blinds eye to sin? When did we stop fighting for what God sees as right and holy? When did we, as a nation and as a church, fail the test?

A test? What test? I believe God will always leave “certain nations” or “certain people” in the land to test us. Why? To see whether we would obey the commands of the Lord. Will we stand up and fight against God’s enemies? Have we forgotten that we have God on our side? As believers we have God fighting for us and with us and yet so often we sit idly by and allow those that have been left to test us, rule us.

Israel, like God’s people today, joined together with the pagan nations. They began to worship the god’s of the land. They began to do what was evil in the sight of the Lord. And they forgot about God. (v.5-8)

Let’s remember that God’s judgment in verse 8 is against Israel, not the nation. God’s anger burned against His own people and He handed them over to a King to be his subjects. There freedom was gone.

Do you see the lesson here for us to learn? Today we cry out that our nation needs to repent, but it’s not the nation. It’s God’s people that needs to repent. His people have become apathetic and no longer fight for God. His people serve the god of this nation, wealth, power and self interest. His people have allowed sin into the church to the point that many churches no longer care about God’s law and only teach a watered down gospel.

God allowed the nation to rule over Israel for eight years. What changed? The people, God’s people,  “cried out to the LORD for help, the LORD raised up a man to rescue them.” (v.9)

 

Oh Father how I have sinned, how your church, and your bride has sinned against you. Forgive me for not standing up for Your truth. Forgive me for those times I have voted for godless men and women to rule this nation. Forgive me for sitting by and allowing this nation and it’s leaders to take You out of the schools, the work places and the government. O, Father forgive a generation that has been apathetic and have forgotten You. Show me what you would have me do. Help me to stand against Your enemies, even if it means standing against a giant with only a sling shot and a few rocks. I know that You will be with Your people who choose to make a stand for righteousness. Father raise up those who will fight for You. Lead a revival in this land among Your church. O God I pray that You will begin by creating a fire in my own heart, a holy, righteous fire.

Family Friday: The Journey

Each path in motherhood life has it’s ups and downs. We journey through mountains, over deserts, along the ocean and through open fields.
We journey through the darkest nights, rain storms, sunshine, fog, and seasons of Spring, Summer, Fall and Winter. Regardless of where we find ourselves in the journey we are often unsure of the next step. We have not come this way before. Each road is new, it’s different, and doesn’t always look just like the path others have walked.
Sometimes we feel so alone. Its seems no one else is with us on the path. We’ve lost sight of those who are ahead or those who are walking behind.

A young bride is fearful and unsure how to be a good wife. She looks around and so many seem to have it together. The marriages of her friends seems…dare she think it? “Perfect?” Yet she feels hers is falling apart. She feels afraid and alone.
A young mom hasn’t been able to leave her home for weeks. She doesn’t doesn’t understand how all her friends are able to attend Bible Studies, get together for lunch and stay sane. She is overwhelmed with motherhood. She feels as if she is walking this journey alone.
A mother of a prodigals is desperate for understanding, but she feels as if she is being judged. She spends her day crying and praying.Her heart is breaking. Does anyone see?
A mother says goodbye to her last child and wonders, “what now?” As she looks around it seems that others along this path know where they are going. They are pursuing careers, going back to school for degrees, they are DOING something. She wonders to herself how did they know what to do? She feels alone.

All of us have found, or will find ourselves in the above paragraphs. Some will find themselves in all of them.
I have walked them all. On each path there is something that remains constant, regardless of how we feel we are never alone. Our God walks with us through each stage. With each step we take He is preparing us for the next pathway of our journey.
We must remember that it may LOOK or FEEL like we are alone but others are with us. There are other women on the same path. We only need to look, speak out and be willing to be transparent.
To often the enemy preys on minds, our thoughts, during these times of aloneness and whispers lies. He convinces us that no one would understand, and that other’s lives are perfect. He tells us we alone in our struggling. He wants to keep us alone and silent.
But we must speak out. We must speak truth. Once we begin sharing our struggles along the journey we WILL find that other’s are struggling too. We WILL find that we are not alone, other women are just like us.
So in light of that I think I am going to spend the next couple of Friday’s talking about the “Empty Nest” path. I know it’s called FAMILY Friday, but I believe it fits. I will be sharing with you what has been difficult, what I’ve learned, and what I still haven’t figured out about being a FAMILY and a mom without any chick’s in her nest.

In Covenant We are One

This week I will continue with reflections on Marriage as a Covenant. If you missed last week I strongly suggest you read it before continuing. You can find it here.

The idea of covenant started with God. If you look throughout scripture, you will find that every covenant God makes with His people is based on a blood sacrifice. In the Old Testament (Old Covenant) covenant meant the cutting and sacrificing of animals. In the the New Testament (New Covenant) it meant the blood sacrifice of God’s Son.

God never enters into a permanent relationship with man without a covenant. God takes covenant very seriously a study of various covenants made in the Old Testament (Duet 4:31; 7:12; 1 Kings 19; Jeremiah 34:8-22) would show you when you make a covenant with God or man and break it you would die or pay whatever the consequences were.

When we “cut” a covenant with another it carries responsibilities. It’s some of these responsibilities that I want to look at today.

A good example to look at is the covenant made between Jonathan and David. While this is a covenant made between two friends it gives us a good look at the result of the covenant they made. It also gives us a picture of Christ and our covenant with Him. If you are not familiar with this story you can read it in 1 Samuel chapters 16-20.

David and Jonathan make a covenant of friendship because God knit their hearts together. (1 Samuel 20:12-23; 35-42) There are three involved in this covenant. David, Jonathan and God. Each have responsibilities.

Let’s look at David and Jonathan first, for their responsibilities are the same. 1 Samuel 18:4 says “Jonathan stripped himself of the robe that was on him and gave it to David, with his armor, including his sword and his bow and his belt.” Isn’t that interesting? I wonder what the significance of it means?

The Robe: By checking my references and comparing scripture with scripture I find out that taking off one’s robe and giving it to another was a sign of “putting on” the other person. In the New Testament we learn that Jesus puts on our “robe” of humanity so that He could take our place on the cross and so now we can put on His robe of righteousness. Other covenants between man were often made by cutting a finger or arm and mixing their blood, some cultures would even mix the blood and drink it. These actions of putting on the robe or mixing of blood all symbolized the same thing, the two would become one. Check out these verses for more - Galatians 3:26-27, 2 Cor 5:21, Eph 4:20-24, Isaiah 61:10

The armor: The Armor was given to signify that they have a common enemy in the Philistines. We also have a common enemy. Col 1:13 tells us that when we receive Christ we gain Christ’s enemy, Satan. We have a common enemy with Christ and being in a covenant Marriage we also have a common enemy. The enemy is relentless in his attacks on the marriage of believers and the Christian family. So as husband and wife we do have a common enemy.

In Acts 9:1-7 we see Jesus asking Saul “why are you persecuting Me?”  But Saul was persecuting the Christians so why would Jesus say “I am Jesus whom you are persecuting”? Because when we are in covenant with Jesus we become one with Him. And by being one with Him anything I do or say to one of His it’s as if I am doing it to Christ.

So lets apply all this to our marriage. We are in covenant with God and our spouse (Of course I am assuming here that both spouses are believers, but even if you enter into a covenant with an unbeliever I believe the responsibilities are the same).

My spouse is my brother in Christ. So not only am I in a marriage covenant with him I am also in covenant with him as part of the family of God. So anything I say or do to him I am doing to Christ. Think about that for a few minutes. How I treat my spouse in my words and actions is as if I am treating Christ the same way.

If I treat my spouse in an unkind or unloving manner, I am treating Christ unkindly and unloving.
If I speak harshly to my spouse, I speak harshly to Christ.

I am sure you get the idea. It is sobering isn’t it?

In a marriage my husband and I are one, we share a common enemy. Therefore, if you treat my husband badly then you treat me badly. IF you hate my husband then you hate me. IF you fight against my husband you fight against me.

We are united as one with Christ in a covenant relationship. We can not be separated.

Oh may God forgive me! I am not the worlds worst wife I am sure – but let’s face it we all battle our flesh! And there are moments that I fail to treat my husband with Christlikeness! Oh God continue your work in my heart so that I might be more like you.