Hurting His Church, Hurting Christ

I heard the terms “covenant community” and “covenant relationship” long before I really understood what they meant. Even now, I don’t understand in full, but what I have begun to understand has totally changed my view on how God wants me to live, especially how He desires that I treat His children.

You see, what I am beginning to understand is that when I became a follower of Christ, I entered into a covenant with God. In the Old Testament, every time there was a covenant made between two parties, it required the sacrifice of animals. The animals would be cut in half, laid opposite of one another, and the two making the covenant would pass through the flesh. Both parties knew that if either of them broke their part of the covenant, God would do to them what was done to the animals. God takes the making of a covenant very seriously; it’s not something to be entered into lightly.

When Christ came to earth, He was sacrificed for our sins, and we symbolically “pass through” the sacrificed body of Christ into a covenant relationship with God. Christ was the blood that was poured out for our sins. When we believe on the Lord Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of our sins, we “pass through” His flesh to God and enter into a covenant with God.

When you begin to understand the responsibilities of a covenant partner, it is both amazing and sobering. As a covenant partner with Christ, it means that my enemies are His enemies and His enemies are mine. Covenant partners protect one another—they have each other’s back. In covenant with Christ, He exchanges our robe of filth for His robe of righteousness. We become one in the Spirit.

Remember in Acts 9:4, where Jesus confronts Saul and says to him, “Saul, Saul, why are you persecuting me?” Saul was persecuting Jesus because he was persecuting believers whom He was in covenant with. In a covenant relationship, what my enemy does to me, he does to God also.

So let us take this one step further. In a Christian community, believers are in covenant with Christ and one another. So if I mistreat, gossip about, or criticize another believer, then I am doing those very things to God. When my actions are divisive in the church and my words or actions are causing strife, I am sinning against God. If I speak lies and spread rumors against my brothers and sisters, I lie against Christ.

It’s a sobering thought, a painful, heart-wrenching thought. I now realize all those things I have thought, done, or how I might have treated another believer, I have done to Christ!

Oh, may God forgive me! May He forgive the CHURCH. Why do we continue to hurt one another? It grieves my heart! Do we not know, do we not understand, we hurt Christ when we behave in such a way!

He calls us to love one another deeply…from the heart. (1 Peter 1:22) Love does not lie, gossip, divide, criticize, or mistreat one another. This is not the vision Christ gives of how His bride, His church, should behave.

How are you treating your fellow believers? Allow God to search your heart. Ask Him to show you those areas where you have sinned against the body, the church. Confess them, then if applicable, go to those you may need to ask forgiveness of.

Nothing is more important to God than His church, His children, and nothing should be more important to us than making sure our actions and attitudes are becoming of a Child of God. (Phil. 1:27, Col. 1:10)

Therefore I, the prisoner of the Lord, implore you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling with which you have been called, Eph 4:1

My Friend and My Husband

“This is my beloved and this is my friend.”Song of Solomon 5:16

When I married my husband he was more friend than lover. At twenty-one, I hardly knew true love. I knew selfish love, abusive love, conditional love, but true love? Not really. So when I walked down that aisle on my wedding day it wasn’t for love, but for friendship.

In all seriousness (and in total honesty) I wasn’t even sure I wanted to marry him, but he was my friend and he had stood by me through so much. I know there were some who wondered if we would last. I had a son so we would be an instant family. We were young with very little money, very little life experience.  But Keith’s love was deep and strong. He loved me and he loved my son.
I think about those early years of being a wife and mother. I was clueless. Totally clueless about life, love, marriage, family, and God. I was a total mess…and still am at times!

I look back in amazement at what God has done. His mercy and grace can be seen in my marriage, in my life, and in my heart. I mean really, God sent a man into my life that would love me deeply, without reservation. And his love has been constant. His friendship a gift. His leadership comforting. If it weren’t for this man beside me pointing me to Jesus I don’t know where I would be today.

Today, almost 32 years later,  I love my friend deeply. He is my best friend, lover, confidant, and cheerleader. He strengthens me in my weakness and lets me shine in my strengths. He confronts and admonishes me when I need it. He leads, not ahead of me, but walking beside me. Oh, how I love this man!

Our marriage hasn’t always been easy. Being married to me has its challenges I am sure! I can be moody, selfish, and down right cantankerous! ( Oh how I am in need of the Spirit’s work daily in my life!!) But as I sit today and reflect back I can see clearly that there are two things that have helped to hold our marriage together, even at our worst moments.

The first is understanding that it’s a commitment. A covenant between God and one another. It means we will work together through the hard times. It means we will fight for each other and for us. It means he will be my priority, my beloved above all others. It means I will not ever give up on him or our relationship.

Being in a covenant is realizing that we are not alone in the relationship. It’s understanding that we have the power of God the Spirit working along side us.

The second is friendship. From the beginning we were friends. We laughed, played, and had fun together. He is my best friend. I have poured out my heart to him and with gentleness and understanding, he has held it. We share our hurts and brokenness. Our hopes and dreams. We keep no secrets.

We still hold hands. Take long walks and just enjoy each other. But it’s something we have had to work at and we tried not to take each other for granted. We knew that it wouldn’t just happen. We’ve had to make it happen. We had to set aside time for building a friendship.

As I think about all of the friendships I have had I realize that my husband is my best friend. He is always there when I need him and points me to Christ when I am tempted to rely too much on him alone.

I do not want to waste this time with my friend arguing over things that do not really matter. I don’t want to wake up one day to find him gone from this earth and have regrets. I want to enjoy each and every day making memories, and enjoying my friend, and my lover.

Do You Love The Church?

Sometimes my mind gets ahold of something and I just can’t stop thinking about it. I begin to look at it from all different angles mulling it over and over until it reaches the depths of my heart. I usually don’t share my thoughts with just anyone while still in the process of mulling it over. But this time I am feeling led to.

I’ve been bothered by a thought every since a recent sermon. Our pastor reminded us that we are called to love one another as Christ loves us. And by the love I give to my brother's and sisters in Christ my neighbors (and the world) will know I am His disciple. (John 13:34-35) If I love my brothers and sisters in Christ then I will love my neighbor and the world will see I am His disciple.

So my neighbor, co-workers, unsaved family and the world will know I am a Christian by how I love my brothers and sisters in Christ. I don’t know about you but at times that is hard to do. I mean I do love the body of Christ.

But when we have to bring it down to the individual, sometimes it gets a bit harder doesn’t it?

You know the individual Christian I am talking about. The one who seems to grate on your very last nerve. The one who seems to always have a word of criticism to speak. The one who has to do everything bigger and better than everyone else. The one who bullies his/her way through a meeting. The one who takes credit for something you did. The one who _________ (you fill in the blank).

So the question I am asking myself today is this, "Do I really love my brothers and sisters in Christ?" Can the world look at my life and see my love for them? Or are they more apt to see criticism and arguing over petty differences? Are they more apt to see bullies who try to push people around in order to get their own way? Those who are more concerned about their agenda instead of God’s?

I am asking the hard questions of my heart today. Asking God to search my heart for wrong motives and desires when it comes to loving my church community. Am I truly loving them as Christ loves me?

Seems God keeps challenging me with this verse...seriously some days I wish my mind didn't think so much!! "If someone says, "I love God," and hates his brother, he is a liar; for the one who does not love his brother whom he has seen, cannot love God whom he has not seen." (1 John 4:20) We are a liar if we say that we love God but hate our brother. Brother here means those of the Bride of Christ, the Christian who sits in the pew next to you each Sunday. The Christian, who if you are really honest, you don’t particularly like.

If we aren't showing (that is an action and not just saying it) love to our brothers and sisters in Christ then do we really love them?

Yes, we need to show love to our neighbors, to those we meet on the street, to the unsaved around the world BUT if we are not showing love to those in the body of Christ then what good is it? How will the WORLD know the love of our Savior if we can’t even love one another?

How will the world know Christ if His children can not even treat one another with grace, love, mercy, compassion and kindness?

I’ll even go one step further what good is it if we send our time, money, and resources to brothers and sister in Christ around the world if we can’t even love those within our own body of Christ?

How can we say that we love God and yet treat those within the body so badly?

Father forgive me for the times I treat my brothers and sisters sinfully. Forgive us, Your Church for being so petty and fighting over things that just aren’t pleasing to you. Father help us. We so desperately need Your help, for we are a sinful, and stubborn people. May we humble ourselves before you and offer our hearts, our attitudes and our very life up to you as a sacrifice. Mold us, make us into a church that shines Your light brightly.

When Your Spouse Feels Like an Enemy

Recently, someone jokingly asked, “Who is our spouse? Is he or she our neighbor, enemy, or brethren? Is there a different love reserved for our spouse?”

I have been thinking about that quite a bit since.

I mean, I pray your spouse is not your enemy, but what if, at times, you feel like they are? Regardless, Scripture is pretty clear on how we are to treat one another. However, if you do feel as if your spouse is your enemy, how are you to treat them? Do you still have to love them?

In Luke 10:30–37, Jesus tells of a man who is beaten and robbed. Who is the one who helps him? The one least likely to help—his enemy. In fact, the Samaritan goes out of his way to help and provides for his well-being. Jesus then asks which of these was a true neighbor. Of course, it was the Samaritan, and we are to do the same.

In Matthew 5:43–44, Jesus tells us that we are to love our enemies and pray for those who persecute us. Luke 6:27–28 goes even further when it says that we are to “do good to those who hate you” and “bless those who curse you.” Again, we are told to pray for those who mistreat us. If they do mistreat you or hurt you, you are to forgive (Matthew 6).

If your spouse feels like your enemy, you are called to forgive, bless them, pray for them, and love them.

Our spouses are included in the “love your neighbors” and “love the brethren.” So many times, as we study these verses, we forget that they need to be applied to them.

Just how are we to treat one another (including our spouse)?

We are to love as Christ loves (John 13:34). We are to be devoted to one another in love, giving preference to one another. Be of the same mind toward one another (Romans 12:10–16). In other words, we are to give preference to their needs over our own. And how did Christ love us? He gave His life.

We are to encourage one another and build one another up, not tear each other down. Our words should be words of love, not destruction (1 Thessalonians 5:11). We are to share our burdens (Galatians 6:2).

And of course, there is 1 Corinthians 13, where we are told that love is patient, kind, not jealous, and does not brag and is not arrogant. Love does not act unbecomingly or seek its own desires. It is not easily provoked and keeps no record of wrongdoing. Love does not rejoice when the other is hurt. Love bears, believes, hopes, and endures all things.

So does it matter that, on any given day, it could feel as if your spouse is your enemy, neighbor, friend, or lover? No. We are still called to love them. If they are not your brother or sister in Christ, you are still to love them as Christ loves. If your spouse seems like your enemy, Scripture is clear—you are to love them.

Too often, it’s easy to forget to apply the “do unto others” to our spouse, but real love will treat them better than you treat yourself.

I don’t know about you, but there are times this proves quite difficult. In my flesh, it’s impossible. So it is then that we must make an intentional choice to love our spouse as Christ would want us to. We must go to God and pray for the help of the Spirit to give us the desire and obedience to love—not just our spouse, but all the “others” as well.

What about you? Do you struggle to love your spouse as Christ commands? Do you treat your spouse like an enemy? Why not spend some time praying before God, asking Him to show you those areas where you might be able to show more Christlike love? Maybe there are areas where you need to seek forgiveness—from God and your spouse.

4 Qualities Younger Women Need in an Older Woman

It gives us new life, knowing you remain strong in the Lord. How we thank God for you! Because of you we have great joy in the presence of God. Night and day we pray earnestly for you, asking God to let us see you again to fill up anything that may still be missing in your faith. 1 Thess 3:8-10

I find myself in a surprising place. I am not sure how I got here so quickly, but regardless, I am what Titus 2:3 calls an “older” woman. I have weathered many storms in life. Walked hard paths and steep mountains.   I have grown through my failures and my successes. I am far from perfect.  I still make mistakes.

Quite honestly it would be too easy to think I am done. And sometimes, because the areas that have caused me the greatest failure is also the voices that speak the loudest I believe I have nothing left to give. It would be easy to give into the lies that the younger women can take over. They don’t really need what I have to offer.

 But, in His grace and mercy I continue to grow with the Lord. I am not done. We are not done. There is still a whole generation that needs us.

We, the older women, have a calling, an exciting calling. God is calling us to be spiritual mothers. He is calling us to pour our lives out in discipleship. Now more than any other time in our lives we have the opportunity to come along side other women to love them, train them and disciple them. We can help complete what they lack in their faith. (1 Thess 3:10) We can strengthen and encourage them as they are in the trenches of motherhood. We can help them gain a better understanding of how to be mothers, wives and sisters.

As I have processed through this, asking God what I am to do and how I am to move forward I see 4 area’s that older women that need to be evident in our life in order to meet the needs of a younger generation. We do not have to be perfect in any of these area’s but we do need to humbly be willing to admit our weakness and press on towards a deeper growth.

A Godly Example: One of the first things younger women need from older women is a godly example. They need to see a consistent growth in our desire to know God. They need to see one that runs to God, holds fast to truth and stands firms through suffering. They need to see those times when we falter and forget truth but know how to reach out to ask for help. 

They need to see older women who have learned to refrain from gossip and idleness and aspire to a Christ-likeness in our character and actions. They need to see women of integrity who have learned to handle the word of God accurately. (Titus 2:3-5) 

A Nurturer: A Spiritual mother needs to be a nurturer. In the fallen world we live in it is just a fact that many women have not had the opportunity to be nurtured by their own mothers. Many come in to our churches bruised and wounded. A mother’s heart  is needed to perceive what is going on whether or not it’s openly shared. Mothers need to be checking for the one with the bruises because when something goes wrong or someone is hurt she needs to be able to come along side and help in the healing process. 

We need to genuinely care. Be the one who will teach them how to walk, live, and pray through the hurts. Mothers need to nurture and equip their spiritual daughters to stand firm against an enemy that wants to destroy them, their families and their testimonies. 

A Chastiser: I think one of the harder aspects of being a Spiritual Mother is the role of a chastiser. But older women need to be willing to come along side and help the younger woman know how to act. Some women may need to know how to set godly boundaries in their life and relationships. We need to be willing to chastise wrong behaviors, doctrine or attitudes.  

Many women have not been taught properly from their own mothers and need tender correction. Older women need to be willing to do the hard task of correcting an disciplining in areas of life, but always with love and a whole lot of grace. 

A Leader: In a world where more and more women are leading and the lines of what a godly leader looks like are blurred, we need to be women who lead well. We need to be women who model godly leadership that knows how to lead with humility. We need to model before the younger woman how to lead strong yet be teachable. We need to help her understand the difference between strong leadership skills and being hungry for power or desiring to do things her own way. 

We need to be willing to allow younger women to come along side and lead with us. If we are in ministry leadership positions be willing to bring younger women with you and teach them about that ministry. Don’t be threatened by her youth, her ideas, or strength, instead help her see the value she has to that particular ministry. Yes someday she make take over that leadership position, but that is a good thing. A God thing, not something that should make you fearful to share your ministry.

I know that they are many other areas I could talk about, but truly these four areas encompass much. One thing we need to remember is that while we do not need to have mastered all the above we do need to be growing in them. For example I am not much of a nurturer, It doesn’t come naturally to me and I have to work at it. But that is the point, I work at it. With God’s grace and the nurturing of older women in my life I am learning to be a better nurturer.

We can not give what we do not have. We can not model humility in leadership if we do not have it. We can not help younger women to be teachable if we ourselves are not teachable. Again, we do not need to be perfect, but we must be willing to grow in these areas.

We must be willing to look openly and honestly at these four areas and ask God’s Holy Spirit to show us what area’s we  need to grow in. Then with love and humility begin praying that God might open our eyes to a young women who we might walk along side with and be an encouragement.

May we stop believing the lie that Satan has so easily caused us to believe, “that we are no longer needed”. Younger women do need the older women. And unless you are dead you still need an older woman too. Besides I believe that as an older women we also have a lot to learn from the younger woman too!

Bottom line is that we need each other! So let’s rise up, grab hold in one hand a younger sister and in the other hand an older sister and journey together through this life.

WANTED: Christ Followers

For those seeking peace, grace, love, mercy, healing, security, hope, forgiveness, riches beyond anything this world has to offer and so much more there is a place for you. There is one who longs for you, seeks for you and has died for you.

You see long ago before the world began God saw you and loved you. He wants a personal relationship with you, but a man and woman sinned. As a result you and I are born into sin, as sinners. So in order to rectify the sinful nature that now separates us from God He needed a spotless perfect sacrifice in order to make a covenant with those who would accept Him. God the Son, Jesus, willingly laid down His life so that all who are willing to believe on Him may enter into a covenant with Him.

There is a cost however. The cost of the covenant has been paid through the flesh and blood of Christ and forgiveness is offered to all who, by faith walk through the blood of Christ. As one who is now in covenant with God there will be a great cost, but the reward is even greater.

If you are a follower of Christ the cost will be...

• We will have a common enemy with Christ, Satan. He will seek to destroy you.
• You will be persecuted and betrayed by the world, including your own family. We will suffer in this life.
• We will be afflicted.
• Sorrow.
• Weaknesses, insults, distresses, persecutions and difficulties.
• To carry your own cross in which you must bear.
• Die to self.
• You will be hated by the world.
• To give up pursuing treasures in this world.

There is a Reward of being a covenant partner with Christ. These things are promised to every follower.You can expect:

• You will not battle your enemies alone – Christ fights for you and with you.
• He will never leave nor forsake you.
• Your soul will be entrusted to a faithful God who will do what is right.
• To be worthy of the Kingdom of God
• Favor with God
• To draw on His Strength.
• A new self, a new robe of righteousness.
• Forgiveness of sin.
• Eternal life with Christ in heaven with God.
• Co-Heirs with Christ.
• Called beloved of God.
• Saved from God’s wrath.

These lists are not exhaustive, there is so much more to see – to know. But for now I just want you to understand that to be a follower of Christ means that there is a cost to pay. Being in Covenant with Christ means that we are willingly taking on Christ and His sufferings. It means that we will persevere until the end when God’s glory WILL be revealed in us. Oh what a glorious day that will be!!

One final caution, if you are a true follower of Christ you WILL suffer in this life for His sake. You will choose to die to self and all the pleasures (sin) this world offers. If you are not willing to “count the cost and carry your cross daily” you might want to ask the Holy Spirit if you are truly a follower of Christ.

For further study see Matthew 10:16-39; Romans 8:17; 2 Cor 1:6; Phil 1:29; 2 Tim 1:12 \ 3:11; 1 Peter 4:19; 2 Thess 1:5, 1 Peter 2:19; 2 Cor 12:10; Luke 14:27; Matt 16:24; Col 3:9-10; Mark 13:13; John 15:18; 1 Peter 1:3-5; Romans 5:6-10…

Re-posted from 2010

To Follow Him Only

I’ve been making my through God Searches For A Heart Fully His as my quiet time. When I do a PUP Study as part of my quiet time it typically takes longer than it would in a group study. If I have time I will do the who days homework, if not I just break it into sections. Regardless I have thoroughly enjoyed this time learning about how to have a heart that is fully His. It is the desire of my heart.

I want my heart, my life, to be completely His, don’t you? I have written other blogs while doing this study, here, here, here and here if you would like to read more.

Now on to something I saw last week in my studies and have been anxious to share it with you!

I’ve been in 2 Chron 17 –19 learning about King Jehoshaphat. He was the king of Judah during King Ahab of Israel. But for today I want to concentrate on chapter 17. He is described as a man who the Lord was with. He followed David’s example and did not seek the Baals. Jehoshaphat sought the Lord and followed His commandments. Then in the last part of verse 4 it says, “and he did not act as Israel did.”

Chapter 17 goes on to tell us that he took great pride in the ways of the Lord and removed the high places. He also sent out officials and priests to teach the book of the law to the people throughout the cities of Judah. Jehoshaphat had great riches and honor among the nations and they did not make war on him.

Jehoshaphat is off to a good start and we get a clear look at a heart that seeks God. A heart that is fully His is one that seeks the Lord. He follows the commandments and does not worship other gods.

Throughout this study I have seen other kings described in similar ways. But here there was something different. Something new I hadn’t seen before and it struck my heart and I’ve been chewing on it since.
Verse 4 tells us, “and he did not act as Israel did.” Why was this mentioned? I mean I would understand it saying “he did not act as the nations around him.” That is something God had said over and over to His people. But to not act as Israel? Were they not also apart of His people?

To find out why read more here.

Sinning Against My Husband

Last week God allowed me to see that I have been responding to my husband in a way that doesn’t always show love or respect. I was reminded of a blog post I wrote last year about respect. At the end I had asked several questions. One being, “What about my attitude when speaking with him? Does my voice tones also show respect?”

My heart was grieved. I looked at my husband who I dearly love and felt such sorrow. A sorrow that leads to repentance. (2 Cor 7:10) He does not deserve my snarky attitude. He doesn’t deserve my bad day (or week). I mean it’s one thing to tell him I’m having a bad day, or feel bad. It’s something entirely different to take it out on him.

Tears of compassion welled up in my eyes. As I looked at him I began to really see him. Not just as my husband but also as a man who loves God. As a man who is my covenant partner, friend and brother in Christ. A man who has devoted his life to me, to provide for our family and raise our boys. A man who works very hard so that I can stay home. 

This man I married has not been prefect. But, he has always loved me. Always. Even in my moments of a disrespectful, awful, snarky attitude. He honors me, lifts me up and continues to love me. Do you know that there is hardly a day that goes by that he doesn’t tell me I am beautiful and he loves me? So how could I possibly be mean with a man like this?

It’s easy. I am a daughter of Eve. I have a sinful nature that wants to rise up and have my own way. I want to be in control. I want what I want when I want it!! No, it’s not pretty. In fact it’s rather ugly. It’s times like this that I really understand Paul in Rom 7:18 “For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh; for the willing is present in me, but the doing of the good is not.”

At times I suppose it would be easy to just stop there and say “Oh well, it’s my sinful flesh, God’s working on it, so deal with it!” It grieves me when I here that excuse or attitude. Whether I hear it in my mind or hear it out of the mouth of believers.

My husband shouldn’t have to deal with it. Not because he loves me or is good to me. And not just because I shouldn’t treat him that way. He doesn’t have to deal with it because Jesus already dealt with it.

It’s times like this that I must return to the cross. I have sinned against my husband. I have sinned against God. So my snarky little attitude needs to take time to go back to the cross and preach the gospel!

What I mean by that is I need to remember that I am a sinner. I need a Savior. And at the cross “Christ died for our [my] sins according to the Scriptures, and that He was buried, and that He was raised on the third day according to the Scriptures, (1 Cor 15:2b-3)

At the cross Christ conquered death. He paid for my sin. I no longer am a slave to my flesh. Christ Jesus is living in me through His Spirit. Therefore, I no longer have to live according to what my flesh desires. Because of His righteousness I am able to live in righteousness, (with a right attitude). (Roman 8:10-20)

Don’t you see? I do not have to be disrespectful attitude toward my husband. When I am feeling bad, with a wrong attitude, I can go to the cross BEFORE I behave in an unbecoming way. I do not have to live in bondage to my flesh any longer. It doesn’t have to rule over me. I have been set free. (Rom 8:2)

So my snarky little self spent time at the foot of Jesus so that I could have my attitude adjusted! And you know what? It felt really good, and freeing as I allowed His Spirit to minister to my spirit with grace, mercy and love.

 

Note: If any husbands are reading this please know that the same truth can be applied to you toward your wife!

 

Today I am joining….

    

 

 

*Photo of couple fighting By David Castillo Dominici,Stock Photo - image ID: 100122416

What is Love Anyway?

I’ve been thinking about love lately.  Wondering if I really love those around me. Do I tell them? Do I show it?

Today love means so many different things. It’s thrown around so casually. If you believed the words you would think everyone loves everyone. Yet our actions so something so different.

Have we lost the true meaning of love? Have I lost the meaning of what it truly means to love? To love my brother’s and sister’s in Christ? To love my enemies?

They (whoever they are) say that love is an action. It’s a verb. We show love by how we treat one another. Really? Is that true? Id love is shown by action then lately I haven’t felt very loved. And quite honestly as I search my own heart I am not so sure I show love the way I should.

If I go to the Word and am reminded of what love is to look like. I must search my heart. My attitude. Is this the way I treat my brothers and sisters in the Lord? All of them? Even the ones who I might not agree with? Even the ones who have hurt me?

As I read the below list I quickly realize just how impossible it is. I can not love like this. At least on my own. It is only through Christ that I am able.

My love would be is selfish apart from His love in me. My love is often not only selfish but can be needy and demanding.

So with a grieved heart I read through this list and realize, again, my love is not what it should be. When I read what God says about love I realize it has NOTHING to do with me.

His kind of love is all about others. Giving them honor. Willing to serve, not be served. Love is about dying to my wants, needs and expectations.

Oh Jesus help me to die to self. To my expectations, my selfish desires. Help me to die to ME!

Our Father wants us to be devoted to one another.
We are to honor others above ourselves.
We are to live in harmony with all regardless of their social status.
We should stop passing judgment on one another.
We are to bring praise to God by accepting one another.
We should be united in mind and though.
We should be willing to serve one another.
We need to be humble, gentle, and patient with one another.
Be kind, compassionate and forgiving toward our brothers and sisters.
We should have a willingness to submit.
We should be willing to teach and admonish one another.
Encourage one another and lift up those in your church family.
Love one another, deeply from the heart.
Live in harmony with one another; be sympathetic, love as family, be compassionate and humble.
Offer hospitality to one another without complaining.
Love one another....
Love one another....

(Rom 12:10,12:16,14:13; 1Co 1:10; Ga 5:13; Eph 4:2,4:32,5:21; Col 3:13,16; 1Th 5:11; Heb 10:25; 1Pe 1:22,3:8,4:9; 1Jo 3:11,4:12; 2Jo 1:5)

Who is Shepherding the Flock?

“I walked into church, the pews were filled with familiar faces and yet I felt like a stranger. I felt alone. Do they see me? Do they notice that I am slowly fading away?

Can they care that I sat in my room for hours last night fighting to stay alive? Fighting the desire to just end my life. I don’t know if I can go on. I don’t know if I have the strength. Where are the people who should care? Where are those that are suppose to love me?”

Jesus leaves the ninety-nine to love the one.

“It’s been two years since my husband died. I feel alone. My friends were our friends, now they keep their distance, feeling uncomfortable, unsure what to say. I wish there was a ministry for me, but I don’t feel there is a place to connect anywhere.”

Jesus leaves the ninety-nine to comfort the one.

“I have missed two month of church due to illness. I haven’t been able to drive for weeks due to car problems. No one stops in to visit me. No one has come by or called to see if I am okay. I guess I thought the body of Christ took care of their own. I though being apart of a church meant family.”

Jesus leaves the ninety-nine to care for the one.

“My husband stopped attending church with me quite some time ago. I’ve been praying that someone, the pastor or leaders might call on him to see why he stopped coming. But they don’t even ask me where he is. Do they notice? Do they care?

Is it possible for a church member to just stop coming and no one notices? Is that right? Is is it showing love? I don’t understand.”

Jesus leaves the ninety-nine to pursue the one.

"Suppose one of you has a hundred sheep and loses one of them. Does he not leave the ninety-nine in the open country and go after the lost sheep until he finds it?” Luke 15:4

Recently I have noticed a trend. I have no real statistics to back up what I am about to say, it just comes from listening and observing over the last couple of years. The conversations above come from those I’ve talked to or have come into contact with through social media.

I have many more examples I could share of those who have wondered off from church. They are both non-believers and what I call nominal believers. (those who have made a profession of faith but show no real evidence or commitment). Their church attendance has dropped and it’s likely that soon they will drift away from church altogether or find fellowship else where.

This saddens my heart. Whether we mean to or not we are sending a message to those on the peripheral that we do not care about them. Many have gone to leadership and expressed their concerns and shared their hurt only to be told they should get more involved. They are often told they don’t feel apart of the church because they have made no effort to get to know others.

This simply is not always true. Many have showed up at Bible Studies, Sunday School, Church picnic’s, retreats, and other opportunities for fellowship to sit alone and left feeling even more alone.

So they leave. They wander away. No one notices. No one pursues. If they do notice they just shrug it off and say it was their own fault for not trying.

There is One who sees. Jesus notices. Jesus sees the one who is hurting. Who needs a friend. Who needs a savior.

I’ve been asking what is my responsibility? It’s easy to say the leadership and/or pastors should pursue the one that leaves. The one who is hurting.  It’s easy to shift the responsibilities to church leadership, but I am not so sure it’s what Jesus would have me do.

Maybe I am to come away from the flock where there is safety and familiarity to pursue the one who is wandering away or about to wander away.

I understand there are those that will leave and there isn’t anything you can do to stop them. But I think about the many who leave because no one bothered to “circle around them” in order to keep them in the fold. But to circle around someone means that I we would have to move away from our comfort zone.

We would have to leave the comfort and safety of the ninety-nine. This includes pastors, leaders and those strong believers that are mature enough to leave and pursue. It’s easy for all of us to want to stay were it feels safe.

But…

Jesus calls us to pursue the one not the ninety-nine.
Jesus came to the sick not the healthy.

In my humble opinion, He is expecting us to do the same as He did. I believe He is calling us to go to those who are sick and wandering away. He would have us to pursue them.' He would have us, as individuals, to come away from the safety of "our people" and pursue those not in our circle. Be more inclusive instead of exclusive.

Matt 9":10-13 says “While Jesus was having dinner at Matthew's house, many tax collectors and "sinners" came and ate with him and his disciples. When the Pharisees saw this, they asked his disciples, "Why does your teacher eat with tax collectors and 'sinners'?" On hearing this, Jesus said, "It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. But go and learn what this means: 'I desire mercy, not sacrifice.' For I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners."

Oh Father, help me to see those that are about to leave. Those who are hurting and giving up. Help me to see Your children as You see them. Help me to understand when and how you are calling me to feed, care, love and pursue Your sheep.

Return to Me My beloved

 

My dear child, I remember how eager you were to please me when you first came to salvation. How you loved me and and couldn’t wait to tell everyone about me. There was such joy and excitement in your heart.

You were willing to follow Me anywhere, even into the desert or the darkest valley. You would shout from the mountains how I had led you through barren land, darkness, death, pain, and sorrow. You would proclaim my name and give Me praise for leading you from bondage to freedom.

You began living a fruitful life, filled with so many of my blessings. Such joy showed on your face! Our worship time, both publicly and private was precious. You were seeking my kingdom above all else and all those around you wanted what you had.

But my most beloved child, your heart began to wander. You began to take notice of the world around you. You began to listen to the voices of others.

Now you defile your body and bow to idols. You chase after other gods and you have forgotten me. Your houses, and closets are filled with things that will not fill your heart. You have taken your eyes of the eternal and now look to the temporal.

My Father’s heart is grieved because my children have forgotten me. You have forgotten that it is I that can fill you with a living water that never runs dry. Instead of coming to me you fill yourself with things that do not satisfy.

Now your hearts and lives are lived in bondage to this world and the flesh, but you do not see it.

Do you not remember that I set you free? I broke your chain of slavery to the flesh when I died for you.

Do you not remember the covenant you made with me when you bowed your knee at the cross? I promised you a life of freedom, not without cost, but a life filled with Me. You said you believed upon me and wanted all I had to offer. You promised to live a life of obedience to Me.

But you have broken our covenant. You have prostituted yourself to the desires of this world. You run after that which is corrupt. You may think that you haven’t done these things but just stop and take an honest look at your life.

What are your priorities? Do you worship Me above all else? Do you hunger and thirst after righteousness? Or is your life too full to fit me in?

You complain that you are tired and weary and yet you are not willing to make the necessary changes. You continue to chase after bigger houses, expensive cars, closets full of designer clothes, lavish vacations, bigger TV’s, the newest gadgets. Tell me, Are you happy with all these things? Do they bring deep long lasting pleasure?

O My beloved children, come back to me! Turn from the idols that have a hold of your heart. Bow to me and me alone.

Return to the cross and remember the covenant that was made. Humble your heart before me, cleanse your minds and hearts of the things of this world.

Return to Me My beloved….

I have swept away your sins like the morning mists. I have scattered your offenses like the clouds. Oh, return to me, for I have paid the price to set you free.

Isaiah 44:22

 

(I’ve been reading Jeremiah and today after reading chapter 4 this just poured out of me.)

It Should Have Been Me…

He had no sin and yet took on my sin.

He took on my punishment - my death.

It should have been me on that cross.

 

But, it wouldn’t have been enough.

 My heart is wicked, my flesh sinful.

His heart is beautiful, pure, and spotless.

He is without sin.

 He is God incarnate.

Only He could save me.

His sinless, pure heart was needed.

He would take my wicked heart and give me a new heart.

A clean heart.

One that is pure, righteous and holy.

 

Now written on my heart are His ways.

His words.

His love!

He put His Spirit inside me!

His very Spirit, LIVING in side ME!

He makes my heart new.

I am no longer a slave to sin.

I gladly live as a slave, a bond servant, to righteousness.

His righteousness.

He who knew no sin became sin for me.

Now I live in righteousness

He sees me as righteous.

He see me without sin.

 

 Hallelujah!

(Jeremiah 17:9; 30:40; 31:33-34; Ezekiel 36:26; Romans 6:18; 2 Corinthians 3:3; 5:21)

To My Beautiful Ashley

I watched you marry the love of your life on Saturday. It was a beautiful ceremony surrounded by family and friends. As I watched your daddy walk you down the isle I couldn’t help but remember the summer you stayed with us for 3 weeks to go on a missions trip to Mexico. Or how could I forget that little girl that was always so loveable and huggable! Precious memories.

Now before my eyes stood a beautiful young woman. Your beauty flows from the inside out. I am sure you have your faults, as we all do, but I see a sweet young woman who loves those around her. You love to laugh and your laughter is so contagious.

I love you very much. So as I sat there listening to the words the pastor said and the commitment you and Gary made to one another I prayed. I prayed that you understood the commitment you were making to one another, before your friends and family, and the commitment you were making before God.

Marriage, which I have written about here, here and here, is not something to be entered into lightly. It’s a commitment for a lifetime.

• Marriage is a vow to another that you will love, cherish, honor, in sickness and health, for richer or poorer, until death does you part.
• Marriage is hard work. Both parties must choose to work at the marriage. Both must make is a priority.
• Marriage is more about committing and choosing than loving. There will be days you don’t FEEL in love, but you choose to love. You remember you commitment and you work through the hard times.

In exchanging your vows I loved that instead of just saying “I will” you both said “with God’s help I will”. For apart from a relationship with God it’s nearly impossible to take two individuals and create one. I pray that you will grow into an even greater understanding of what it truly means to have Christ be apart of your marriage. I pray that the Spirit of God would draw you into a deeper knowledge of Him. But mostly I pray that you are a true child of God and committed not just your marriage but that your heart and life would be one that pleases the Lord.

So, to my sweet beautiful Ashley I pray that you always stay true to who God is creating you to be. That you would love the Lord your God with your whole heart, soul and mind. I pray that you would show Gary the honor and respect that Christ calls you to when He says in 1 Peter 3:2 that wives should have a chaste and respectful behavior toward their husbands. I pray that Gary will love and honor you. That he would be a man that leads you with a gentle, kind and loving spirit.

Ashley I know I’ve said this before, but never forget that you are precious, beloved and beautiful. I love you.

Marriage Monday: It’s Not just a Promise

We took our wedding vows and made a promise to live until death does us part.

No one told us how hard it would be those first couple of years. It was the little things like laundry on the floor, who slept on what side of the bed, what kind of toothpaste or whose house for the holidays that seemed to cause so many “discussions”. Everything seemed to cause a struggle.

It was a struggle for two individuals becoming one.

It takes time for a young man to gain confidence and take the lead. It takes time to become a man.

It takes time for a woman to grow and realize the role God places her in. She will grow to come along side and be a helpmate to her husband.

It goes against our flesh, it goes against society so God must be allowed to work in our hearts. In our marriage.

There are many years filled with love, laughter and tears. Learning to understand one another, to love one another. There were sorrows and disappointments shared. Deep struggles that caused growth in both of us.

There were children, moving, losses, death, and decisions to be made. All allowed by the grace of God to mold and shape us.

This was life, it was our life. It is still life.

Marriage is an amazing life shared with one who loves deeply, sacrificially and unconditionally.

Dates planned, intimate talks, holding hands or just sitting in silence knowing we are not alone. Sharing our future, hopes, dreams, desires, and our fears.

Oh, and those moments when you look into one another’s eyes and know just how loved you are. You see your beauty in the way they look at you. You feel safe in their embrace and you know the depth of their commitment to you.

This is life, this is marriage. Both are filled with love, joy, pain and sorrow.

We made a promise on that day of our wedding, but we have grown to a place where we realize that marriage is more than a promise, it’s a covenant. A solemn binding agreement between parties, made by blood, and not breakable. God is the sovereign administrator of this covenant.

A covenant means that you become one flesh, its death to independent living. You will put your partners needs before your own. If someone hurts your spouse they hurt you for you have truly grown to be one.

A covenant means that you will stand and fight for as long as it takes to defeat the enemy. You’ve got one another’s back. It means that you will be there for one another no matter how hard the road is. You are in it for the long haul. There is no giving up when it gets hard and messy. There is no divorce – it’s not even in your vocabulary and certainly never mentioned.

When recently asked how we’ve managed to almost 29 years I simply said, “we made a covenant, and a covenant is more than a promise. A covenant can not be broken. We’ve committed to making it work and we choose to love one another even in those moments when it’s hard.”
Marriage doesn’t come with an easy button, it takes work, sacrifice, steadfast commitment and prayer. It also takes those around you to build a community of faith and support.

It means allowing God to rule over your marriage and be obedient to do what you know is right. He means that you WILL be there for one another no matter what. You will always choose to stay and work it out instead of leaving and giving up.

It’s more than just a promise that seems so easily broken– it’s a covenant.

Once again I find myself a say late….but linking up with…

 

Until Death Separates

Marriage, a lifelong commitment.
Love, a choice one makes
regardless of your feelings
of the moment.

To commit to another soul means
that you are joined to that person
and nothing can break
the bond.

When feelings come that go
against your commitment of love,
you must battle the
urge to flee.

 

To flee from love
is to take the easy path,
to walk away is to say
that you were never
committed to that person.
No one ever said it would
be easy.

 

Marriage is a commitment.

With God at the center
it is possible to go the distance.

It is possible to weather the storms.

With God it is possible to stay together

until death separates you.

 

 

 

Today I am also joining The Alabaster Jar…

 

 

What Makes a Marriage Last?

What makes a marriage last, grow, and filled with love?

My first response would be a mutual commitment to God and one another, and yet sadly statistics would not back that statement up. Recent surveys show that divorce is just as high in the church as outside the church. And I know plenty of Christian marriages that are not filled with a growing, deeper love for one another.

So what IS the difference?

Keith and I  have talked quite a bit about this because we have often been asked how we have maintained such a good, solid marriage. What have we done to grow deeper in love? What have we learned or done along the way that has helped us, not only stay together, but grow together? As we've pondered those questions I believe God has give us insight to share.

First of all it IS all about having a commitment to God and one another! Unfortunately today many do not understand commitment or keeping a promise. So even to use those words sometimes it loses the depth of the meaning. I personally like to use the word covenant. We are in a marriage covenant with one another and God. A covenant that says I will stay beside you, love you, and encourage you no matter what life may bring. It says we are one and nothing but death can separate us. Keith and I decided very early in our marriage that the word divorce or separation would never be an option, we would always work through our differences.

A covenant marriage is about serving your mate, being Christ to them. Putting their needs above your own. It's about praying for one another and with each other. Learning to laugh together. For more on Covenant Marriage click here.

Communication is huge. Learning to talk heart to heart openly and without fear is so important. We talk and talk and talk through those things that we are struggling with. We share our hopes, dreams, disappointments, failures and sin with one another. My husband is not always good at this, and doesn’t really like to talk on about emotions. He often likes to keep things inside, which is total opposite of me who will often just spill it all out. So I patiently taught him how important it was. (OK! OK! sometimes I wasn't so patient) but the point being that we can teach one another what is needed. I was able to, over time, teach my husband it was okay to talk about emotions. And he has taught me that sometimes we need to just let each other process our thoughts and feelings before spilling out all our emotional stuff!

Be content with your role in the marriage. I, as a wife, have learned to be joyful and content in my role as his help meet. Yes it was a long process to get here, and yes, there are days I struggle. But quite honestly the days I fail, the days I try to "rule the roost" I have gone to God and my husband to ask for forgiveness. But I have learned that while I can have a voice, I can have an opinion and I can make decisions God has placed the husband with greater accountability for our marriage and I need to respect that.
Keith has learned to love, cherish and lead our family. But please hear me on this, our husbands will only lead when we let them. I hear so many women complain that their husbands don't lead. My question is always, "Are you letting them?" Ladies we need to be obedient to God and allow our husbands to lead, even if that means letting him fail. God will deal with his heart. God will mold him into the man He desires. I can not be the Holy Spirit in my husbands life. I can not change him, only God can. And like wise Keith has learned that only God can change me. So we have given each other room to make mistakes, to fail and allow God to do a work in us and through us.

Be best friends. I know that seems so elementary, and easy. But we must realize it doesn’t just happen. We have to spend time together, quality time. We have always made family time and couple time a priority. Many couples do well with family time to only fail at setting time aside for themselves. Couples need to continue “dating” throughout their married life. Often those who do not put time into their marriage find that when the kids are grown and gone there are two strangers living in the same house.

Recognize that marriage is HARD work. A good marriage doesn't just happen, you have to work at it. It has to be important enough to you that you are willing to sacrifice daily for the continued health of it. You can't let your children, your parents, or your girlfriends come before your husband. After God he is your first priority. God gave me to my husband to be his help meet and that means to come along side him and help him.
Realize there is no thing as a perfect marriage or perfect husband/wife. We realize that neither of us are perfect, so how could we have a perfect marriage.But we have made our relationship to one another a priority over every other relationship. We have worked hard at it, and not given up. We have stood in the mud together (and most likely threw mud at each other) but then we both help with the clean up.

My husband and I both are committed to our Lord and I know that your circumstance could be different making it more difficult. But as a Christian wife we are still called into obedience to God regardless of whether or not our husbands are Christians. You can read more about this here or here.

Of course there is so much more I could share practically on how we can do these things, but it would be a whole book!

You might also enjoy the story of how we met here.

What Is It Like To Be Married To You?

“Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting” (Psalm 139:23-24

Have you ever thought about what it might be like to be married to you? So often we don’t really stop and think about what our actions and attitudes are toward our spouse. We tend to think in terms of “this is the way I am, they have to love me” or “If they would treat me better I might treat them better.” Both of these thoughts are wrong. As discussed in How Should I Treat My Husband we learned that Scripture has a lot to say about how we are to treat one another, and those “one another’s” include our husband.

So in truth how I treat my spouse should have nothing to do with him. I am to be obedient to God and treat my spouse as God tells me. I think today we should ask ourselves a few questions about our actions and attitudes.

We should ask ourselves, “What is it like being married to me?” I challenge you to sit alone before the Lord as you pray through the following questions. Ask God to reveal those things in your life that aren’t honoring to your spouse or to your God. Confess whatever sinful ways God points out to you.

I ask that the Lord would help you work on your own issues — your own “planks” that need to be removed. This is a time to consider the weaknesses you personally contribute to your marital relationship. DO NOT use this time to point out your mate’s weaknesses, but go humbly and honestly before God and ask if there is any hurtful way in YOU and ME!

• Do I speak to my spouse in a dishonoring way so they feel belittled? (You may feel justified in speaking this way to them but the result could be that your spouse will eventually avoid being with you and instead seek to be with others who don’t belittle them the way you do.)
•Do I give them my full attention when they’re trying to communicate with me? Do they feel that what they have to say is important to me? Or am I trying to multi-task?
•Do I have a tendency to lecture or berate them making them feel like a child?
•Do I lose my temper easily? When I am angry do my words tend to be words that could make them feel assaulted? (This could cause them to shut down mentally and emotionally from hearing what you’re trying to communicate.)
•Do I treat “outsiders” with more love and respect than I do my own spouse?
•Do I use cutting humor with my spouse, saying, “I’m just kidding…” and yet my spouse has shown they don’t think what I’ve said is funny? And do I do this in front of others so that my spouse feels humiliated?
•Am I patient with my spouse, bearing with his weaknesses?
•Does my marriage partner ever complain that I act like I am better than them (and deep down I think it’s true)?
•Do I often act irritable or are you hyper-sensitive in your thoughts and actions with them?
•Do I keep bringing up things from the past — things they’ve already asked forgiveness for? (This can result in their feeling that they’ll never be able to escape their past actions with you no matter what they do.)
•Am I living a trustworthy life so my spouse doesn’t need to be concerned that I will violate their trust in me? And do I find ways to show them my trustworthiness? Do I participate in anything that Christ would see as “deeds of darkness” which could bring unhealthiness into my marital partnership? (See: Ephesians 5:11)
•Do I try to be a peacemaker in my home? (See: Ephesians 4:3; Romans 12:18)
•Do I protect my spouse’s feelings and their dignity, in how I speak and interact with them, both when I am alone and when I’m with others? Do I say things about my spouse to others that could hurt their feelings and integrity?(See: 1 Corinthians 13:7)
•Have I become such a serious person that I rarely laugh or try to have fun times in our relationship – times like we used to have before we married?
•Do I make an effort to show that I value being married to them above anyone else?
•Am I a negative person to live with? Do I need to make more of an effort to be more positive in how I interact with my spouse so I don’t drag down their spirits also?
•Do I look for ways to compliment and encourage my spouse when I am alone as well as when I’m with others?
•Am I gracious to my spouse so that when they make mistakes they still feel accepted and loved by me?
•Do I actively participate in making me marriage a better one? Do I show by my actions as well as by my words that I am in partnership with them?

Some of these questions are very difficult because my heart is convicted and I see that being married to me isn’t always a bed of sweet smelling roses. I have a lot of areas where I know that I need to treat my husband better.

There are days it seems too difficult. I must remember that the Lord walks with me and strengthens me. Why is it so hard anyway? It would be nice if I could blame my husband. But I can’t, not because he is perfect, but because I recognize that at all times my actions and attitudes are to bring glory to God regardless of how others might treat me.

If my husband isn’t treating me the way he should it doesn’t give me the right to treat him in a bad way. Yes, that can be hard. I battle my flesh that says I want to give it right back to him. But God’s Spirit is at work in me and I truly desire to be the wife God is creating me to be.
So those times I fail, I  MUST go to my husband to ask for his forgiveness…
 
You might also enjoy

Learning to Love in Marriage

Who is my husband anyway?

Marriage is a covenant

In Covenant we are one

How should I treat my Husband?

What if He Doesn't Deserve My Respect?

Living Purposefully with Confidence

The Law, written on tablets of stone, was given to Moses and the people of Israel. A covenant was made. They promised to obey. It would be a promise they would not keep. They could not keep.

Breaking covenant meant death. The death of an animal sacrifice. Sin required a blood sacrifice. The priest would need to offer the blood sacrifice of perfect animals, daily for the sins of the people.

It was a shadow of things to come. There would be a better way. A better covenant. A perfect sacrifice that would be once and for all. It would cover all sin, for all time. To those who believe.

A better covenant. A law, not written on stone but written on our hearts. No longer would an earthly priest be needed. We will know God. We will be His people. Our sins remembered no more.

Our sins forgiven. Forgiven, not because of the blood of animals, but because of the One who came to offer His perfect sacrifice.The One, Jesus, the perfect sacrifice offered Himself freely.

Before, in the shadow of the things to come, man could not enter into the tabernacle. A veil separate man from entering. But Jesus provided a better covenant. His flesh, the veil, was torn so that we could freely “draw near” to God with “hearts sprinkled clean from an evil conscience and our bodies washed with pure water.” (Heb 10:22)

So the law written on stone could not be kept, but the law written on our hearts can be kept through Jesus. We can have confidence in the One who promised is faithful to keep His covenant. A covenant that frees us from our sins and will no longer be remembered.

Since we have this confidence in Jesus we can endure the struggles and trials of this earth know that we will receive what has been promised. That which is promised is eternal life with Jesus.

So let us not give up, but let us hold fast and preserve to the end.

(see Hebrews 8-9 and Exodus 24)

 

Other Blog Post for Living Purposefully!

1. Living Purposefully in the New Year
2. Living Purposefully with eyes on Jesus
3. Living Purposefully: Consider Jesus
4. Are You Mature?
5. Living Purposefully with Hope

How Should I Treat My Husband?

It’s Monday and time to reflect on Marriage! IF you are just joining me or have missed a few weeks feel free to catch up here.

 

Last week we looked at the symbols of a Covenant and how they reflect our relationships in marriage. The two symbols looked at were the Robe and the Armor. When the robe is being exchanged it is a symbol of putting on the other person as if becoming one. So in marriage we exchange our “robes” and become one flesh.

 

The Armor shows us that we have a come enemy. Because we are one whatever our enemy does to our partner he does to us. Our enemy is Satan and he desires to destroy our marriages. Together we fight and guard our partners from attacks.

 

Remember, because we are one with each other and one with Christ then anything I do to my husband I am doing to Christ.  In whatever way I treat a brother or sister in Christ it is as if I am doing it to Christ Himself. (Acts 9:1-7)

 

So then, how should we treat our husbands?

 

Scripture has a lot to say about how we are to treat one another. You know all those one another verses like, love one another, serve one another, submit to one another, be kind, compassionate, patient toward one another? ALL those verses apply to our husbands too. Lets just look at a few of them.

 

If at times you feel your husband is your enemy scripture says you are to love him. (Matt 5:43-48)

 

We are to be “tenderly affectionate” to another and give preference to one another. (Rom 12:10)

 

Our speech should be edifying toward each other. (Rom 14:19)

 

Galatians 5:13 we are told that through love we are to be “servants one to another.”

 

We should not provoke one another. (Gal 5:26)

 

We are to bear one another’s burdens. (Gal 6:2)

 

Be kind, tenderhearted, forgiving to each other. (Eph 4:32)

 

We are to be subjecting yourselves one to another. (Eph 5:21)

 

So how does your actions and attitude toward your husband compare to just this list? Read over it again and ask God what areas you might need forgiveness or some work in.

 

As I read over it I am convicted in a couple of areas that I could do better at. I want my attitude toward my husband to bring glory and honor to Christ and as I consider this list I can see I need some improvement. (sigh)

 

Well my dear sisters I think that might be enough for today! Next week I want to talk about love and respect for our husbands. I think this is an area that is extremely important and most often misunderstood. So I look forward to you joining me next week!

 

Don’t forget to leave a comment! Let me know what God is showing you in your relationship to your husband! How may I be praying this week for your marriage?