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In my first decade of marriage—I’m in my fourth decade now—I participated in many Bible studies about being a godly wife. I wanted a marriage that honored God, but I didn’t know anything about being a good wife or having a godly marriage. It wasn’t something modeled for me. So I read everything I could get my hands on.
Through those years, I gleaned a lot of truth, but at times it was also very frustrating. Some books and studies seemed to be a long, unattainable list of how I should behave. I would often become overwhelmed and frustrated. If I am honest, I was looking for a 7-step formula to become a godly wife, but it just didn’t exist.
At times, I would sit and cry out to God in frustration. Where were the older women who could show me? Why couldn’t anyone see that I had no clue what I was doing? I needed help!
God heard the frustration of my heart’s cry. Over time, He answered. His answer was not what I expected, but it brought such freedom!
God set me free from trying to become the “perfect” wife and have the “perfect” marriage. Freedom came when I realized that I only needed to follow Christ. What my husband really needed was a wife who followed hard after God.
In order to be a godly wife or a godly mother, I needed to take care of my relationship with God. I needed to be the woman that God created me to be—a woman who hungers and thirsts after God, a woman who obeys Him, a woman who knows that God must be her very first priority.
I needed to be in God’s Word—seeking God, studying, meditating, and praying—so that He could create a changed heart in me. He alone can change my wrong attitudes toward life and those in it. He alone can create in me a true obedience to His will for my life.
Through the years, I realized that it is not about me becoming a godly wife, but about seeking the One who can create in me the desire to be a godly woman.
I’ve learned that I can be a good wife and have a good marriage by passionately pursuing Jesus. It is in the Word of God, and by studying it for myself, that I learn to be the woman God desires me to be. As I become that woman, I will be the godly wife my husband truly needs.
linking up today with…
This is an EXCELLENT post! You are so right! The more we Try to be the Perfect Wife, the more we fail! But as we Abide in the Vine, He prunes us and we bear Fruit and find ourselves becoming all that He wants us to be! Thank you for linking up with me for Marriage Monday! This is a very encouraging post!
ReplyDeleteWhat an amazing post!!!! This was something I truly needed to hear today! Thank you so much!
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing your experience as you've sought the Lord on the journey to be a Godly wife! I'm a missionary nurse in Gabon, Africa and just recently got engaged. My fiancé is currently in the States, we will be returning to Gabon together after the wedding. In the mean time we remain a continent apart, and I have begun praying that God would prepare me to be a Godly wife. I just sat down out here in the jungle, asking the Lord to teach me and began looking up Bible studies and passages on-line and your blog came up- it goes hand in hand with how God's been gently speaking to me over the past couple days. Thank you for letting the Lord speak through you.
ReplyDeleteAmanda thank you for stopping by and leaving a comment. I took a quick look over at your blogs...you are a beautiful young woman. I look forward to getting to know you and following your journey as you prepare for marriage.
DeleteThank you! I too have read many books trying to be the"perfect wife" and God wants us to put and keep him first. When we surrender it allows him to heal us and shape us in his image.
ReplyDeleteThanks again and God bless you!
Jamel
I have been married for 13 years. My husband and I have 4 children and I just realized this past week .. I don't know how to be a wife. I didn't have the best example growing up and Ive been struggling with it since we've been married. I finally asked my husband want he thought a good wife was and he was very reassuring making sure I knew he appreciated what I did not only for him but for our family. I believe God led me here today because it fits perfect with what I'm going through and how I have felt. Even Kevin (my husband) said "I don't want a perfect wife. That's boring. I come home to a clean house you always have a smile on your face .. we have wonderful children and a happy baby .. darling you are exactly the wife I want" I didn't even know I was doing it right but I'm very blessed to have a wonderful husband.
ReplyDeleteShasta thank you so much for stopping by and leaving a message. Kevin does sounds wonderful! ;-)
DeleteI did not have a good example of what a godly wife should be like either. Keep following the heart of God and the woman He desires you to be and you will continue to grow toward being a good wife.
Don't let the enemy tell you anything different!
Just thought you would like to know there is a book called 7 Steps to a Godly Marriage. LOL
ReplyDeleteIt is by Stephanie A. Mayberry.
When I read that I thought to myself, hey! I read that book! LOL
Lovely post. No, you don't have to be perfect just keep striving to be Christ like.
Blessings!
Ambry
Thank you for this post!
ReplyDeleteI spent the next hour reading through your posts on Marriage...
After meeting my soon-to-be-husband at Bible College, I moved across the 'pond' when God told me to follow the man he'd knit me to. My husband often said he fell in love with my heart for God...yet somewhere along the road, I lost sight of God in trying to balance a new country, a new marriage, a new priority list - I thought putting my husband first was a positive thing...but not when it replaces your pursuit of Christ.
We've been happily married for (almost) 3 years & have been trying to find the passion for God that brought us together in the first place. Priorities of work, house, business of life have too often crowded that out.
We are now expecting our first baby (boy!) in 6 short weeks - & i find myself quietly panicking about this deadline in being the 'perfect, godly, good' wife & mother. Finding this today again brought to my attention the need to have God first & then the rest falls into place. Or as one college professor put it "Your vertical relationship needs to be right in order for your horizontal ones to balance" - a perfect picture of the cross!
Oh Nicola thank you for taking the time to write me. You are on the right path, keep pressing in, pursuing God. '
DeleteI recently shared with a group of MOPS (mothers of preschoolers) this very thing...that in order to be a godly wife and mom our first priority is to passionately pursue our relationship with Christ above all else.
Blessings!