A Godly Wife

Grace and peace be multiplied to you in the knowledge of God and of Jesus our Lord ;seeing that His divine power has granted to us everything pertaining to life and godliness, through the true knowledge of Him who called us by His own glory and excellence. 2 Peter 1:2-3
Through the last 28+ years of marriage I’ve participated in many Bible studies about being  a godly wife or having a godly marriage. I’ve also read many, many books on those same topics. Why? Because I was seeking for truth about “how to” be the best wife I could be.

Through the years I gleaned a lot of truth, but at times it was also very frustrating. There were books and studies that SEEMED to me to be a long, undoable list of things I should do or how I should behave. I would often become overwhelmed, frustrated and then came the lies. The lies that said, “you’ll never get it”, “just face it, your not going to be a godly wife like so and so” and so many more. “After all there is just no way I will ever be the Proverbs Woman,” I often thought to myself.

What was a woman to do? What steps could I take to be a godly wife and have a godly marriage? Was there a formula I could follow? Maybe a book on “the 7 steps to a godly marriage” ?

At times, early in my marriage I would just sit and cry out to God in frustration. Where were the older women who could show me? Why couldn’t anyone see that I had NO CLUE what I was doing?!

God heard the frustration in my heart’s cry. Over time He answered. His answer was not what I expected, but it brought such freedom!

God set me free from trying to become the “perfect” wife and have the “perfect” marriage. Freedom came when I realized that I only need to follow Christ. What my husband really needed is a wife who followed hard after God.

In order to be a godly wife, or even a godly mother I “only” needed to take care of my relationship with God. I needed to be the woman that God created me to be. A woman who hungers and thirst after God. A woman who obeys her God. A woman who knows that God must be her very first priority.

I needed to be in God’s word, studying, mediating, praying so that God could create in me a changed heart. He alone can change my wrong attitudes toward life and those in it. He alone can create in me a true obedience to His will for my life.

Through the years I’ve realized that it is not about me BECOMING a godly wife but it’s about me seeking the ONE who can create in me the desire to be a godly daughter of the King.

I’ve learned that to be a good wife and have a good marriage that I must be passionately pursuing Jesus and my relationship with Him. It is in the word of God and studying it for myself that I learn to be the woman God desires me to be.
Teach me, O LORD, the way of Your statutes, And I shall observe it to the end. Give me understanding, that I may observe Your law And keep it with all my heart. Make me walk in the path of Your commandments, For I delight in it. Incline my heart to Your testimonies…Turn away my eyes from looking at vanity, And revive me in Your ways. Establish Your word to Your servant, As that which produces reverence for You…Behold, I long for Your precepts;Revive me through Your righteousness. (Psalms 119:33-40)
linking up today with…
image imageimage


  1. This is an EXCELLENT post! You are so right! The more we Try to be the Perfect Wife, the more we fail! But as we Abide in the Vine, He prunes us and we bear Fruit and find ourselves becoming all that He wants us to be! Thank you for linking up with me for Marriage Monday! This is a very encouraging post!

  2. What an amazing post!!!! This was something I truly needed to hear today! Thank you so much!

  3. Thank you for sharing your experience as you've sought the Lord on the journey to be a Godly wife! I'm a missionary nurse in Gabon, Africa and just recently got engaged. My fiancé is currently in the States, we will be returning to Gabon together after the wedding. In the mean time we remain a continent apart, and I have begun praying that God would prepare me to be a Godly wife. I just sat down out here in the jungle, asking the Lord to teach me and began looking up Bible studies and passages on-line and your blog came up- it goes hand in hand with how God's been gently speaking to me over the past couple days. Thank you for letting the Lord speak through you.

    1. Amanda thank you for stopping by and leaving a comment. I took a quick look over at your blogs...you are a beautiful young woman. I look forward to getting to know you and following your journey as you prepare for marriage.

  4. Thank you! I too have read many books trying to be the"perfect wife" and God wants us to put and keep him first. When we surrender it allows him to heal us and shape us in his image.
    Thanks again and God bless you!


  5. I have been married for 13 years. My husband and I have 4 children and I just realized this past week .. I don't know how to be a wife. I didn't have the best example growing up and Ive been struggling with it since we've been married. I finally asked my husband want he thought a good wife was and he was very reassuring making sure I knew he appreciated what I did not only for him but for our family. I believe God led me here today because it fits perfect with what I'm going through and how I have felt. Even Kevin (my husband) said "I don't want a perfect wife. That's boring. I come home to a clean house you always have a smile on your face .. we have wonderful children and a happy baby .. darling you are exactly the wife I want" I didn't even know I was doing it right but I'm very blessed to have a wonderful husband.

    1. Shasta thank you so much for stopping by and leaving a message. Kevin does sounds wonderful! ;-)

      I did not have a good example of what a godly wife should be like either. Keep following the heart of God and the woman He desires you to be and you will continue to grow toward being a good wife.

      Don't let the enemy tell you anything different!

  6. Just thought you would like to know there is a book called 7 Steps to a Godly Marriage. LOL
    It is by Stephanie A. Mayberry.
    When I read that I thought to myself, hey! I read that book! LOL
    Lovely post. No, you don't have to be perfect just keep striving to be Christ like.

  7. Thank you for this post!

    I spent the next hour reading through your posts on Marriage...

    After meeting my soon-to-be-husband at Bible College, I moved across the 'pond' when God told me to follow the man he'd knit me to. My husband often said he fell in love with my heart for God...yet somewhere along the road, I lost sight of God in trying to balance a new country, a new marriage, a new priority list - I thought putting my husband first was a positive thing...but not when it replaces your pursuit of Christ.

    We've been happily married for (almost) 3 years & have been trying to find the passion for God that brought us together in the first place. Priorities of work, house, business of life have too often crowded that out.

    We are now expecting our first baby (boy!) in 6 short weeks - & i find myself quietly panicking about this deadline in being the 'perfect, godly, good' wife & mother. Finding this today again brought to my attention the need to have God first & then the rest falls into place. Or as one college professor put it "Your vertical relationship needs to be right in order for your horizontal ones to balance" - a perfect picture of the cross!

    1. Oh Nicola thank you for taking the time to write me. You are on the right path, keep pressing in, pursuing God. '

      I recently shared with a group of MOPS (mothers of preschoolers) this very thing...that in order to be a godly wife and mom our first priority is to passionately pursue our relationship with Christ above all else.



Leave me some joy...