Finding My Father

Over the past few weeks, a memory from my nineteen-year-old self has begun to resurface in my mind, almost as if it were trying to tell me something. I can’t quite grasp why now; it has remained tucked away in my mind for years, perhaps forgotten entirely. I am sitting in a booth. Across from me sat a leader from a campus ministry I was involved in. I was nervous, afraid and unsure of what I was about to tell him.

I had requested this meeting because there was something heavy on my heart—a confession I desperately needed him to hear from my own lips rather than through the whispers of others. It was about a sin I had committed, one that would soon come to light, changing my life forever.

As I revealed my burden, he listened quietly for a few moments, a deep sadness reflected in his eyes. I braced myself for judgment, but instead, I encountered an overwhelming sense of empathy. His eyes conveyed genuine sorrow rather than condemnation. Finally he asked, "Sharon, I have noticed for some time that it seems you are searching for something. What is it that you are looking for?" 

That question echoed in my mind, haunting me long after our conversation had ended. I struggled to find a response; I was lost and without direction. All I knew was that, despite being a Christian for three years, there was an unsettling emptiness within me. I felt like a ship adrift at sea, longing for land but unsure of my destination. What I failed to recognize in that moment—and what I would later come to understand—was that I was missing my Father. His love and presence were the very things my heart craved, even if I didn’t yet know it.

Ten years passed before I would begin a journey that would finally answer that question. In that time I followed Jesus but largely ignored the Father. I read the New Testament, but I did my best to stay away from the Old Testament. This disregard for the Old Testament wasn’t always a conscious choice. Before I became a Christian, I had once said that I didn't need God as a Father; I neither needed nor wanted a Father. So when a friend told me about Jesus, it was easier for me to accept Him. It’s not that I didn't believe in God the Father; I was simply ambivalent toward Him.

God brought a woman in my life who would become a dear friend. We raised our families together, prayed and studied God's word together. It was in those times spent with her and doing Bible study she would begin to share with me her relationship with her Father God. 

Her relationship with The Father was tender, merciful and unlike anything I knew  I wanted what she had. I wanted to feel no hesitation in running to the Father with my hopes, dreams, and my shame. I wanted to walk into the throne room, bow before the Father and feel loved, not constant condemnation. 

Now, some 30 years later I am more confident. I can still struggle but what I know that was different then is who God says He is. You see, I viewed my Heavenly Father through the lens of poor and abusive father figures. I have very few memories of my actual father but the men who came after him were not good. So my view of what a father should be like tainted my view of God. 

When I realized, or better said, when God revealed my wrong view of who God is I began searching for truth. I wanted to know who He was and is. I have mostly found that in studying God’s character through the studying if His names. With each name I gained a greater depth of who He is. I began to realize that all those years ago I was searching for my Father, my good, kind and merciful Heavenly Father. The Father who loves me unconditionally and sent Jesus to die for me. What an amazing love the Father has for me.

One of the studies that helped me tremendously was Kay Arthur’s Lord, I Want to Know You.  It is a study of the names of God  

Jehovah Sees and Provides

Recently, I read Philippians 4:19 and discovered a deeper meaning beyond God simply providing for our everyday needs. This verse demonstrates that God meets not only our physical and emotional essentials but also our spiritual needs.

Reflecting on Genesis 22:14, where Abraham names a place "The Lord Will Provide" (Jehovah Jireh), we see God’s profound care for His children. In this context, God tested Abraham’s faith by asking him to sacrifice Isaac. Abraham’s willingness to comply prompted God to provide a ram as a substitute, highlighting His mercy and provision.

The name Jehovah (YHWH) means "I am the one who is," emphasizing His eternal presence. Jireh means "to see" and "to provide," illustrating that God recognizes our circumstances and proactively meets our needs, giving us confidence to trust Him, especially in challenging times.

As we reflect on Philippians 4:19 and Genesis 22:14, we should consider our greatest need: to be in a right relationship with God. This relationship was fractured by the sin of Adam and Eve and has continued to be affected by the sins of humanity throughout history. In His love, God provided a way for reconciliation through Jesus Christ, allowing us to mend this broken relationship and offering us redemption and eternal communion with Him.

Where do you stand? Do you recognize yourself as a sinner? Do you believe that God desires reconciliation with you? Regardless of your current situation or past actions, God has provided a path to reconciliation. He sent His Son to die for your sins and mine. The debt is paid in full; all you need to do is believe, confess your sins, and live your life in obedience to God.

Walking In Peace

 Today my Bible study was a perfect reminder to me. Perhaps you need this too. 

In this verse God is called “ God Most High” which in Hebrew is El Elyon. This name for God means “Highest” or “Exalted One” and emphasizes that God is the highest in every realm of life.  

It means He is Sovereign, He rules over all things. He is in control and there is no plan of man that can change His sovereign will for His creation. 

This reminder allows me to walk in peace knowing that no matter what happens, no matter how chaotic life might get, God has a plan and it will unfold according to His timing and purpose. I can walk through all things trusting in a God who has a good and perfect plan. 

He Speaks in our Sorrow

"As for me, I know that my Redeemer lives, And at the last He will take His stand on the earth, “Even after my skin is destroyed, Yet from my flesh I shall see God; Whom I myself shall behold, And whom my eyes will see and not another. My heart faints within me!" Job 19: 25-27

Recently, I found myself reflecting on a verse that made me wonder: How did Job know? Although I don't fully understand how the concept of the Redeemer was revealed to him, I am certain that Job had hope in what he believed about Jesus. Even amid immense sorrow and suffering, Job found hope in the knowledge that his Redeemer lives and that one day he would see God. His hope was anchored in Jesus, who had yet to come. Job had a relationship with God, and the Spirit of God had revealed the truth about a Redeemer to his spirit. 

In the face of great loss, pain, and sorrow, Job found comfort in the belief that although his skin would decay, his flesh would one day see God. We, too, share that same hope. No matter what challenges we encounter today or how deep our pain may feel, we can find solace in the knowledge that our Redeemer lives. Jesus came to Earth, died for us, and now He lives; one day, He will return for His bride.

Just as God gave Job hope in his sorrow, He also provides us with hope. We have hope that our Redeemer lives, hope that He will return, and hope that even though pain and sorrow may accompany us, one day we will see God. On that day, there will be no more pain or sorrow.

How did Job maintain hope in the face of overwhelming sorrow? He looked to the promises of God. He chose to believe and to praise the promise of his Redeemer. I pray that as we face our own losses and pain, we too will focus on what has been promised. I pray we will choose to give praise because we KNOW our Redeemer lives!

Therefore, we do not lose heart. Though our outer man is decaying, our inner man is being renewed day by day. For our momentary light affliction is producing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we focus not on what is seen, but on what is not seen; for the things that are seen are temporary, while the things that are not seen are eternal. (2 Corinthians 4:16-17)

 

Linking up with Me, Coffee and Jesus plus….

Does God Want Heaven Without Us?

 Lately I have been wondering, "Does God want heaven without us? Would He be lonely in heaven if He hadn't made a away for us to join Him? 

The question came a few weeks ago while we were singing the Hillsong "What a Beautiful Name it is".  There is a line in the song that says ‘You didn’t want heaven without us. So Jesus, you brought heaven down."  Now I've sung the song many times but it wasn't until this moment that I stopped and asked if this line was true.

Was God lonely without us? Does God need us? As I thought through that I realized the answer is no. God is not lonely. To say different is to say that somehow God is insufficient in and of Himself which we know to be false. Scripture says God is self-sufficient. That He doesn't need anything outside of Himself to exist.

God is in need of nothing. He doesn’t need our worship, our work or anything we might think to offer Him. As Paul says in Acts 17:25, “Nor is He worshiped with men’s hands, as though He needed anything, since He gives to all life, breath, and all things”. 

If God does not need us, then why did He create us? The answer is simply “for His pleasure.” Revelation 4:11 says, “You are worthy, our Lord and God, to receive glory and honor and power, for you created all things, and by your will they were created and have their being.” Colossians 1:16  also says,  “All things were created by him and for him.”  We were created for His pleasure. It gave God pleasure to create humans to have a relationship with them, not because He needed them. 

God made us in His image with an ability to know Him, to worship Him, to serve and to have fellowship with Him. We were created to bring glory and honor to God, not because He needed a friend. 

I came across this by John Piper and he expresses thoughts on this so much better than I can. 

When we Feel Forgotten, Trust in Him

O LORD, how long will you forget me? Forever? How long will you look the other way? How long must I struggle with anguish in my soul, with sorrow in my heart every day?

How long will my enemy have the upper hand?

Turn and answer me, O LORD my God! Restore the light to my eyes, or I will die.

Don't let my enemies gloat, saying, "We have defeated him!" Don't let them rejoice at my downfall.

But I trust in your unfailing love. I will rejoice because you have rescued me. I will sing to the LORD because he has been so good to me. Psalm 13 (NLT)

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I love these words of David. He, who God says is “a man after My own heart” understood what it meant to be deeply sad in his soul.

He felt forgotten. He felt that God no longer saw him. He thought he might die if God didn’t answer.

I get it. I’ve been there. I struggle often with a deep sadness of the soul. But, like David, I refuse to stay there.

The first thing David does is pray. He prays honestly, pouring out exactly how he feels  He asks God to defeat his enemy. Davide understands that depression, or a deep sadness of the soul, is an enemy that must be battled. We must pray to God for help in battling this enemy.

Then he reminds himself of the truth. He chooses to rejoice because God will rescue him. He can still sing in the sadness because God has been good. God is good!

David relies on the truth he already has learned about God. God can be trusted to rescue him even if in the moment he feels forgotten.

David has learned that no matter what life may look like today God can be trusted to show His unfailing love and goodness in the midst of it all.

David relies on truth not emotions. Sometimes that is hard because emotions seem real, but we must take our feelings to God and allow Him to speak truth into them.  May he be our example in those moments we might feel forgotten and alone.

 

Thank you, God, for this reminder today. I can trust in Your goodness and unfailing love. Help me to focus on Your truth when the lies of the enemy come. Amen

Weary Yet Pursuing

They are three little words, yet they were what was needed to encourage my heart today. The words were from Judges 8:4 which says, "weary yet pursuing". 

  

    The context of those words was written amid battle. Gideon and his army of 300 men had been fighting against the Midianites. God had already delivered 3 leaders into their hands and they were still pursuing more. They needed food to be strengthened, but those around them did not come to their rescue. Instead of giving up, they pursued their enemy, even though they were weary. (There is a lot more to the story, and I encourage you to read it in Judges 8, but God used those three little words to encourage me this day.)

    When I am tired and weary of the battle where do I go? Who do I turn to? How do I cope with the weariness that I feel? What should I pursue instead of giving in to the weariness of my soul? 

    Too often I want to go to people, and while the body of Christ can and should be a good source of refreshment often they fail. They fail because we have gone to them first, we've put our hope in their strength to encourage and lift us up instead of Christ. They fail because they have battles of their own to fight. 

So before going to others, even the body of Christ, we must go to God. We must go to His word. It's here, and here alone that I am refreshed and encouraged.

    I forget this so many times and run to people. But today it was God's words that refreshed this tired and weary heart. Perhaps they too will refresh your weary heart.

 Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Everlasting God, the LORD , the Creator of the ends of the earth Does not becomewearyor tired. His understanding is inscrutable.  He gives strength to theweary, And to him who lacks might He  increases power. Though youths grow weary and tired, And vigorous young men stumble badly, Yet those who wait for the LORD Will gain new strength; They will mount up with wings like eagles, They will run and not get tired, They will walk and not become weary. (Isaiah 40:28-31)

"For I satisfy the weary ones and refresh everyone who languishes." (Jer 31:25)

Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and YOU WILL FIND REST FOR YOUR SOULS. For my yoke is easy and My burden is light. (Matthew 11:28-30)

Let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we will reap if we do not grow weary. (Gal 6:9)

For consider Him who has endured such hostility by sinners against Himself, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart. (Hebrews 12:3)

    Jesus will be our strength, in Him we will find rest. Run to Him, pursue Him through His words to you.

    So what should we do instead of giving in to weariness, discouragement, depression, anxieties, or any other ways we may try to deal with hard times? What does God's word say I should pursue instead of giving in to my weariness?

 O God, You are my God; I shall seek You earnestly; My soul thirsts for You, my flesh yearns for You, In a dry and weary land where there is no water. (Psalm 63:1)

So then we pursue the things which make for peace and the building up of one another. (Rom 14:19) 

... pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, perseverance and gentleness. (1 Timothy 6:11) 

...seek peace and pursue it.  (Heb 12:14; 1 Peter 3:11)

  Today may we choose to seek God and the things of God. May we pursue that which will build us up instead of tearing us down. May we fall on our knees before the cross, pray to know God, and pursue Him in a greater, deeper way.

Watering the Soul

I have a few plants in my house that will either look lush and thriving or withered and dying. It seems that in order to keep them looking healthy and alive I need to water them. Seriously though, I understand their desperate need for water. But too often I get distracted and forget or I just don’t see them when their leaves are turning brown, withering up and about to die. It’s sad really. I should probably just give up and not try. I am sure artificial plants could look really nice too. To be honest the only reason I have had these particular plants is because my husband is better at seeing them than I am and he will remind me that they are dying. Sometimes he will just water them without saying a word. I am sure they love my husband more than me.

Today I was reading Psalm 1 and my heart was pricked by verse 3 which says, “He will be like a tree firmly planted by stream of water, which yields its fruit in its season and it leaf does not wither…” In the quietness before the Lord He reminded me of something I had forgotten. Jeremiah 17:8 says, “For he will be like a tree planted by the water, that extends its roots by the stream and will not fear when the heat come; But its leaves will be green, and it will not be anxious in a year of drought nor cease to yield fruit.”

Sometimes we can be like my poor plants. Our leaves begin to wither and die and for various reasons no one sees us. They don’t see that we are dying spiritually. They don’t see that we are struggling. They walk by and we die a little more. Our edges begin to curl up and we no longer produce our fruit. The ground around us begins to dry and discouragement sets in. We wonder will anyone see? Does anyone know we are struggling?

But unlike my plants we can do something about our withering leaves. My plants are dependent on me. Their only hope is that I see that they are dying. Their only hope is that I will remember to water them. We, however, have a greater hope. We have the hope of Jesus and His written word. We only need to open up His word and allow it to refreshing and renew us.

So if you feel like your life is falling apart. If you feel dried out and about to wither up then go to the One who does see you. Go to the One who is never so distracted he forgets about you. In fact He never forgets you and always sees you. Go to Him and spend time in His word and let Him refresh you.

To be honest I have forgotten this lately. Thinking other things, books, and people would be able to refresh that which I felt dying inside me. But it’s when I am meditating on the truth of His word that my soul and heart grows and is refreshed. It’s His word alone that waters my soul. I;m so grateful He sees me and reminds me that He is the answer to my thirsty soul.

What about you? How long has it been since you have sat before the Lord with your Bible? Not a bible study or devotional, but His Word, the Bible? Not that those things are wrong, but if we are only getting what others have already studied and chewed up then we are missing the richness of watering our soul through the words of Jesus. Why not start today and open up your Bible and see how God might speak to you?

Press On Toward Christ

In this world we are told there will be suffering, trials, heartache and tribulations.

It can feel overwhelming. So overwhelming that people are often tempted to stop, give up and they lose hope. 

But God reminds us to press on to maturity. (Heb 6:1) We can choose to allow the trials of this life to mature us and make us more like Christ.

We are reminded to press on to know the LORD" (Hos 6:3)

And...

We are told to press on so that we may lay hold of that for which also  was laid hold of by Christ Jesus. We press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. (Phil 3:12,14)

My dear friends no matter what you are facing today, no matter how you feel, I pray that you will choose to press in to Christ so that you are able to grow in maturity and be more like Christ Jesus.

Being Thankful In All Things

 

Recently I was asked "How can we give thanks for everything that happens to us?" My quick answer was, "We can't. And God doesn't expect us to. God said that we are to give thank in everything, not for everything."

So often the enemy changes one small word and our entire thinking goes wrong. God tells us that we are to be thankful in our circumstances not for them. 

How many times have we been in a place where we are faced with suffering, pain, or trials with the wrong view? We think that somehow we are to be thankful for whatever we are facing. In this life we can face some really hard things in life. Like, how can a mother watch her child die of cancer and be thankful? How can a wife be thankful that her husband is having an affair? How can we be thankful as we live and work in an environment that seems hostile to what we believe? How can anyone be thankful for being abused, beaten, abandoned, marginalized, forgotten or... the list could go on and on.

Oh dear one, God does not ask us to be thankful for these things. He wants us to have an attitude of thankfulness as we walk through them. When our circumstances threaten to overwhelm us we can still be thankful. We can be thankful as we look to God. But first we must take our eyes off the circumstance, die to what we thought would happen, and remember who He is and what He has done. We can be thankful for His continued Faithfulness to us.

We can give thanks because we know that God always acts in righteousness. "I will give thanks to the LORD according to His righteousness And will sing praise to the name of the LORD Most High". Ps 7:17 

We can give thanks because He is our God! "You are my God, and I give thanks to You; You are my God, I extol You". Ps 118:28

We can give thanks as a sacrifice of praise. "...The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; Blessed be the name of the Lord.” Job 1:21

God wants us to choose an attitude of thankfulness.  It’s choosing to live, walk, and believe in TRUTH regardless of emotions or circumstances. Living a life in thankfulness is beyond the ability of the flesh so we must rely on the Spirit. We must be in His word. "Devote yourselves to prayer, keeping alert in it with an attitude of thanksgiving." Col 4:2 

Will you choose to be thankful because of who God is? Will you choose to focus on God and His character instead of whatever current circumstances you find yourself in? Go to God in prayer and ask His Spirit to help you live a life being thankful reguardless of your circumstances.