Remembering My Brokenness

I recently listened to a sermon that has stuck with me. It was filled with truths that settled deep in my spirit, both convicting and encouraging me. However, one point from the sermon required some wrestling. I wasn’t sure I agreed—or, more honestly, I wasn’t sure I wanted to agree.

For decades, I’ve begged God to help me forget my sins and the sins committed against me. The memories are painful and heartbreaking—why would I want to hold onto them? And my enemy loves nothing more than to remind me of them at every turn. So wouldn't it be better not to remember?

In his sermon titled Brokenness, Voddie Baucham explained why we need to remember our sins. He argued that if we could forget them:

1.  We could never testify to the goodness of God.

2.  We would lack warnings to avoid repeating those sins.

3.  We could not rejoice in our victories or recognize the spiritual growth the Holy Spirit has produced in us.

I thought about this throughout the day. If I couldn’t remember my sins, would I still testify to God’s goodness in my life? If I forgot the hardships God delivered me from, would I still proclaim His faithfulness? Without those memories, would I continue into the same sins, never truly breaking free from their bondage? And could I recognize spiritual growth without recalling my past struggles?

His point began to make sense. I didn’t like it, but I could accept it.

As I reflect on my life—the difficult times, the sins that continue to haunt me, and the struggles I still face—I can see God’s hand at work throughout it all. With each season of my life, I recognize how God has used these lessons to help me grow. He has transformed a sinner, once headed for destruction, into someone who earnestly seeks Him.

As I look ahead, I am certain of one thing: remembering my sins does not lead to condemnation, for I am no longer condemned (Romans 8:1). However, recalling my past actions serves as a reminder that God will use everything in my life to help me grow, teach me lessons, and sanctify me. Because of this, my life will continue to bring glory to His name. Once, I was destined for eternal death, but now, through Christ, I have been given new life—eternal life.

Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we boast in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us. Romans 5:1-5