It's a Lie - I Really am a Mess
Can I be honest and transparent for a moment? Lately I have been thinking a lot about how people see me and it hurts. It hurts because even though I think I am being honest evidently I am not. Here are some of the things I so often hear about myself. I have heard that I am a student of
Sigh. I don’t know the woman in the above description. I don't see what others see in me. Oh I might see moments of her, but more often than not I see a woman who struggles with way too many messes in life. I am so far from having life all figured out. But too often I am content with just letting people in general think what they want. Those who are closest to me know the truth. Just ask my husband how submissive I really am!
Here is what I want you to know, what I need you to know. I struggle just like you. I am just trying my best to be the woman God wants me to be. But most of the time I fail because my trying is in my own strength. And when I try in my own strength I walk in my flesh instead of the Spirit and that creates all kinds of issues. Instead of being others focused I am often self focused. Instead meeting your need I will probably whine about no one meeting mine. When I walk in the flesh I am needy and life is all about me.
I don’t have the perfect life or perfect marriage. I am blessed, very blessed in my marriage, family and friendship but it’s not because of anything I have done or because of who I am. I am blessed because of God’s abundant grace. And to be honest I don’t get why He would give me grace at all, other than once again it has nothing to do with me.
He gives me grace because of who He is not because of who I am or what I have done. I sit here looking at the state of my heart and the pieces of my life that are a mess and I just don’t get it, but am grateful that still He pours His grace on me.
So could I ask a favor? Could we stop comparing ourselves to what we think we see in others? Could we stop assuming that anyone has it all together? Because trust me, after walking over 50 years on this earth, I have not found anyone who really has it all figured out. Did you hear that? No one has it totally together. We all have parts of our lives that are a mess or in pieces. We all struggle to get through certain days or seasons of life.
And yet, what you might see in the more seasoned or mature (okay…older) woman (or man) is a contentment of knowing they don’t have it all together. They have lived long enough to realize that they will never have it all together, they will never understand it all, and they will never arrive at perfection. They have come to the place where they can just rest in knowing and trusting in the One who is perfect. They rest in the knowledge that they are a work in progress and the Spirit will continue to work in them until they day they see Jesus.
At least that is what I hope…because I haven’t arrived here yet either….
So perhaps instead of assuming anyone has it all together and being totally shocked when they fail, say something ugly, or behave in a way we think is uncharacteristic of them we should just give them grace.
Perhaps we should just assume that’s not who they want to be, give them grace and love them through it.
“I am not what I ought to be, I am not what I want to be, I am not what I hope to be in another world; but still I am not what I once used to be, and by the grace of God I am what I am”― John Newton
Joining this great ladies!