No one told us how hard it would be those first couple of years. It was the little things like laundry on the floor, who slept on what side of the bed, what kind of toothpaste or whose house for the holidays that seemed to cause so many “discussions”. Everything seemed to cause a struggle.
It was a struggle for two individuals becoming one.
It takes time for a young man to gain confidence and take the lead, to become a man. It takes time for a woman to realize the role God places her in, to come along side and be a helpmate to her husband. It goes against our flesh, it goes against society.
There are many years filled with love, laughter and tears. Learning to understand one another, to love one another. There were sorrows and disappointments shared and deep struggles that caused growth. There were children, moving, losses, death, and decisions to be made.
This was life, it was our life.
It was an amazing life shared with one who loves deeply, sacrificially and unconditionally. Dates planned, intimate talks, holding hands or just sitting in silence knowing we are not alone. Sharing our future, hopes, dreams, desires, and our fears.
Oh, and those moments when you look into one another’s eyes and know just how loved you are. You see your beauty in the way they look at you. You feel safe in their embrace and you know the depth of their commitment to you.
This is life, this is marriage.
We made a promise on the day of our wedding, but we have grown to a place where we realize that marriage is more than a promise, it’s a covenant. A solemn binding agreement between parties, made by blood, and not breakable. God is the sovereign administrator of this covenant.
A covenant means that you become one flesh, its death to independent living. You will put your partners needs before your own. If someone hurts your spouse they hurt you for you have truly grown to be one.
A covenant means that you will stand and fight for as long as it takes to defeat the enemy. You’ve got one another’s back. It means that you will be there for one another no matter how hard the road is. You are in it for the long haul. There is no giving up when it gets hard and messy. There is no divorce – it’s not even in your vocabulary and certainly never mentioned.
When recently asked how we’ve managed to last 27 years I simply said, “we made a covenant, and a covenant is more than a promise. A covenant can not be broken. We’ve committed to making it work and we choose to love one another even in those moments when it’s hard.”
Marriage doesn’t come with an easy button, it takes work, sacrifice, steadfast commitment and prayer. It also takes those around you to build a community of faith and support.
It means allowing God to rule over your marriage and be obedient to do what you know is right. He means that you WILL be there for one another no matter what. You will always choose to stay and work it out instead of leaving and giving up.
It’s more than just a promise – it’s a covenant.
Happy Anniversary my beloved covenant partner.