Grace in the Midst of Doubt

I've had some unexpected questions, doubts really, over the last few weeks. The hours prior to my husband's mom passing away two weeks ago, as we stood watching, praying,  and waiting, I kept wondering if God is really who He says He is. At first the question surprised me and I quickly dismissed it. But as I sat there watching and thinking about the realization that she was about to go to heaven a question began to haunt me. What if God (and heaven) isn't real? What if we die and that's just it? What if there is nothing beyond this life?

As these thoughts fought through my mind I kept reminding myself that I did believe. I know, that I KNOW God is real and yet the doubts remained. How could I doubt the God who I KNOW exists? Please hear me, my faith is strong and there is a part of me, deep inside that knew, I mean really KNOWS that God is real. I KNOW that when I die I will live forever with Him.

Yet, where did the doubts come from? How could I doubt? Why were they here? Now? Of course my godly mother-in-law would be in heaven, rejoicing in the presence of Jesus.  It wasn’t a moment of doubting her salvation, but doubting who God is. How could I doubt a God would had been faithful to me for so much?

How indeed, Then I was reminded that even John the Baptist asked the question in Luke 7:20 " Are you the Messiah we've been expecting, or should we keep looking for someone else?'" John, cousin of Jesus. The very John who Malachi had prophesied about coming to make a way for The Christ. (Mal 3:1),  John who recognized Jesus when He came to be baptized. (Matt 3:14) This is the John who had a moment of doubt and wondered if Jesus was who He said He was.

Jesus' answer to John's question was simply, “go tell John what you have seen and heard”. They had seen Jesus heal the sick, cast out evil spirits and restore sight to the blind. They had seen the lame walk, the lepers healed,  and the dead raised to life again. They had heard the Good News being preached.

Many lives were being changed by Jesus. They were being radically transformed from a life of mere existence to complete healing. They were given a new life! 

Jesus simply said let my actions speak to who I am. What He didn't do is scorn John for asking. He wasn't angry or frustrated by the question. He was disappointed in John’s momentary doubts. I think at that moment, as John faced death, Jesus understood the question. He understood that our finite minds just can't possibly wrap our minds around an infinite God. Jesus understood the doubt and simply reminded them of who He is.

Jesus does that for us too. We are faced with circumstances whether it’s death, sorrow, pain or any number of things, that cause doubt. Instead of being angry or giving us a lecture Jesus simply takes us by the hand and reminds us of what we've seen. He reminds us of the lives we've seen changed, the eyes that have been opened and the nearly dead brought back to life. He reminds us of answered prayers and moments of strength in the midst of utter weakness. Jesus reminds us of who He IS.

Jesus does not condemn us for asking the question, “Are You who You say You are?”. Instead He gives us grace. It's in the midst of His grace that our faith is made stronger. 

Join me for 31 Days of Seeking Grace

Also linking up with these lovely ladies….