It is better to live alone in the corner of an attic than with a contentious wife in a lovely home. (Proverbs 21:9) NLT
Contentious. I don’t know if I had been contentious exactly. But grumpy, short tempered, easily argumentative? Maybe.
Several days ago the love of my life came to me and asked if anything was wrong. My response to him was “no”. (Meaning I don’t want to talk about it right now and just leave me alone.)
He looked at me for a few minutes before speaking. He was probably praying. Then He said, “you are just not yourself. You seem down and…”
I looked at him, smiled and finished for him, “On edge? Short tempered?” I really did smile when I said it…I knew…he didn’t HAVE to say it.
“Well, yes and I didn’t know if I had done something to upset you?”
Poor guy. I adore him. He is patient with me. He loves me. And honestly would do anything in his power to make me happy.
I assured him he hadn’t done a thing. I was just processing some emotional junk and I guess it was affecting me more than I thought. I then apologized for taking it out on him.
Mental Note: Next time maybe I need to warn him ahead of time if I am trying to struggle through issues or process.
Next time…Oh how I wish there wouldn’t be a next time. I want to have life all figured out. Now. I want to never have to struggle with my emotions or trying to separate what I FEEL from what is REAL.
Why can’t I remember that just because I might FEEL a certain way doesn’t mean my feelings are right?
I hate when I allow my emotional mess to affect my husband. To effect my relationships.
I want to be a “fountain of blessing for him” (Prov 5:18)
I want to be his “joy and crown” his “treasure”. (Prov 12:4; 18:22)
Proverbs 19:14 says “only the LORD can give an understanding wife”.
So I ask my husband to forgive me, again! Then I go to the LORD and ask Him to help me…
…to be a wife that does not snap out at the love of her life just because she’s having a bad day…or bad week.
…to be a wife that is a blessing.
…to be a wife that is his joy and crown.
…to be a wife that brings honor to her husband.
Father thank you for the gift of a man in my life that honors and cherishes me. Thank You for Your grace and mercy, Your faithfulness and love in my life. Help me be the helpmate you intended, one that shows respect and love toward her husband.
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Leave me some joy...