Lights Flashing in the Rearview

“The truth is, all sin is serious because all sin is a breaking of God’s law. The apostle John wrote, “Sin is lawlessness” (1 John 3:4). All sin, even sin that seems so minor in our eyes, is lawlessness…it is a complete disregard for the law of God…”  (Jerry Bridges*)

Simply put, ALL sin, no matter what value we may place on it, is lawlessness and grieves the heart of God.


I’m not really certain why I woke up Sunday morning thinking about the differences between raising a compliant child verses a strong willed one. I had one of each and have often said that I’d rather raise a strong willed child over a compliant one any day. It’s easier to discipline the heart of disobedience that is seen versus a disobedient heart that is often masked under what seems to be obedience.

Maybe God wanted me to blog about it? Maybe … what? Who knows why we I think what I think! Little did I know what God had in store this day.

Keith was sick, so I began my drive to church listening to praise music preparing my heart for worship. Well sort of, I was singing AND thinking can this guy in front of me go any SLOWER! I looked at my speedometer. He was going the speed limit, still I was frustrated, maybe he would turn off soon.

No, I would follow him almost the whole way to church. He turns off the road and off I go. Not even three minutes later, about three blocks from church I see lights in my rearview mirror. police“Great!” I thought to myself, “I wasn’t going that fast was I ? I had just passed one of those signs that post your speed and I was under the limit!”

I get my information out, ready to had it to the officer. “Where are you headed in such a hurry?” he asked me. “Church”, I said rather sheepishly.

“well, ma’am I clocked you doing 53 in a 35.”

“Oh” “ I am really sorry, Sir.”

He took my information and left me sitting, waiting for my ticket. My consequence for breaking the law. He left me sitting there…with my thoughts…the thoughts of this morning of a disobedient heart that is often masked under what seems to be obedience.

“I knew better. The law is the law. Break it and you are guilty. Whether you are caught or not, you are still guilty. Whatever the fine was I deserved it. It was mine to pay, no one to blame but me.”

These were my thoughts as I sat there…waiting…then my heart heard the chorus of the song playing on the radio…

“Change me on the inside
Change me on the inside
Change me on the inside
Change me on the inside
Change me on the inside
Change me on the inside”

Oh God I have sinned against you! My heart is deceitful and wicked. So often I can be that compliant child that appears to be obedient, doing all the right things, saying the right things but my heart’s attitude is not right before YOU!

My thought’s are interrupted. The officer is at my window. I am surprised by his words. “Ma’am I am giving you a warning today. You need to slow down.” “Yes Sir, thank you very much. I really appreciate your kindness.”

As I slowly drove away the only thought in my mind was “grace”. The officer didn’t have to show my grace. I broke the law and deserved to pay the consequences.  “GRACE” God’s grace. I have done nothing to deserve His grace and yet He bestows me with it daily.

All day yesterday I couldn’t help but think about the sin I so easily tolerate in my heart. Pastor Tim shared asked that same morning if our walls needed to be rebuilt. He asked us if “the walls of our life are in ruin?” “Are there holes in our wall?” “Places that are weak or open?” Had I not just experienced what I did I most likely would have said no. I mean, I am in the word, I pursue God, my relationship with Him is priority. So of course my wall is standing tall and strong!

I know it was just a speeding violation. You might be thinking “she’s making too much of this!” But you see I know, I mean I really KNOW that even something as seemingly small as a traffic violation is still sin. I disobeyed the law.

Yes there was grace. There IS GRACE. But what God showed me is a heart that often disregards those laws, or rules I don’t think much about. Or DON"’T LIKE!

That my dear brothers and sister is disobedience. It reveals a heart that needs changing. Part of my walls that need rebuilding.

Oh and the really sad part of all this was I had plenty of time. I wasn’t even late!! I was breaking the speed limit just because I wanted to, or wasn’t thinking about it. Not that if I was late it would have been justified…

I came home and looked up the verses to the song playing on the radio when I was pulled over… The song was Change Me On The Inside- by Brian Doerksen & Joseph Williams. It’s a short song…but gets to the heart of the matter

I long for freedom to live in the truth
I want to be more like You
But every time I try to bring about change
I only touch the visible me
There's only one way I'm really gonna change
Just like King David, I cry out to You
Create in me a clean heart
I've grieved You again, I need Your release
From patterns that keep me in sin
There's only one way I can finally break free

Change me on the inside (x6)

So today I ask myself, “Do I have a clean heart?” “Is my spirit pricked when I sin, no matter the sin?”

Maybe to some this is just ridiculous. It was breaking man’s law, not God’s. I would say it’s still sin and further more it exposes a heart that can disregard the law when it suits me. It’s a wrong attitude of the heart.

I want to be “holy as He is holy” I want to be like Jesus. I do not want to grieve the heart of God in any way. I can not do it. It’s impossible for me to change in any way, shape of form. It’s impossible to rebuild the walls of my heart to keep sin out.

I want to live my life purposefully. Purposefully following God and obeying His law. I want to rid myself of me, and the sin that so easily entangles me.  (Heb 12:1)

It’s impossible for me….but not for God. So my prayer is “Lord, Change me from the inside out.


*Respectable Sins: Confronting the sins we tolerate by Jerry Bridges,  NavPress 2007.


  1. I agree 100%, and appreciate the convicting spirit!

    I had to laugh, though, because I had the same exact experience a few years ago. I, too, prayed and asked for forgiveness for my foolishness while the officer went back to his car with my license. He, too, returned, and only gave me a warning.

    Lesson learned. :-)

    Thanks for sharing at NOBH!

  2. I think it is funny that you had a lead car keeping you out of trouble at first...


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