A Wave of Sorrow

Have you ever stood out in the ocean with the water at your knees and allowed the waves to wash over you? Then all of a sudden one comes in, it's stronger than it looks and knocks you over. You lose your balance, hit the bottom of the ocean, fight for the surface, and when you come up your gasping for air. It took only seconds, but you felt like you might drown. It was only a moment of panic, then it was gone, then once again you were out enjoying the ocean waves.

Sorrow can be a lot like this. It does not matter how much time has passed by since that last wave caught you off guard. It just comes with no warning, for what seems to be no reason.

Yesterday I was driving down the highway headed to an appointment. Nothing had happened prior to this point that would have caused the thought. I hadn't seen any recent pictures or even thought of him in quite some time.

And yet...there it was...like a sudden wave washing over me.

I MISSED my daddy.

I could not explain it, but there was that all too familiar longing of wanting to run into my father's arms. Oh how I imagine those loving, safe arms around me.

It's been 47 years, the intensity of the pain is less, but there is still sorrow. There is still the longing of that “felt” safety of his arms. A safe place which speaks of rest, protection and comfort. A place which offers acceptance and love.

Years of being in this familiar place reminded me that while I do miss my earthly father, what my heart truly longs for is an even greater intimacy with my Heavenly Father. For even the love and safety of an earthly Father can not replace or fill the need of my Heavenly Father.

So once again I remember my daddy. I remember those precious five years I had with him. I give thanks for the love and life he gave me. I am so very grateful that he was my daddy. Then I run into the arms of my Father and I press in to know His heart in an even deeper way. And I rest.
O God, You are my God; I shall seek You earnestly;
My soul thirsts for You, my flesh yearns for You, In a dry and weary land where there is no water.
Thus I have seen You in the sanctuary,To see Your power and Your glory.
Because Your lovingkindness is better than life, My lips will praise You.
So I will bless You as long as I live; I will lift up my hands in Your name.
Ps 63:1-4

1 comment:

  1. I experience this same thing with missing my brother. He has been gone for 6 years. He loved me like no one else I know. I can't describe it because it has always been undescribable. Funny how the human mind and heart recalls events. Even now, if I, even temporarily, forget that it is nearing the anniversary of his death, my heart doesn't. I often recall him and our memories with greater intensity. Things like this are difficult to put into words to someone else. I guess I just wanted you to know I know how you feel.


Leave me some joy...