Grace in my Insecurities

Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children; and walk in love, just as Christ also loved you and gave Himself up for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God as a fragrant aroma. Ephesians 5:1-2

There are many things I just love about God, but I think the thing that touches the deepest hurts in my heart is His desire for a relationship with me. One of my deepest fears is that of being unloved. Even worse is to be unlovable. To be void of relationships.

Although God has worked in amazing ways to heal my heart of this fear, this insecurity likes to rise up every now and again. Too often I doubt that apart from my family no one really loves me. I may be tolerated, but loved? I have a hard time accepting or believing it when someone tells me they love me.

The most amazing aspect of my healing is how God gave me the perfect husband. No he is not perfect, just perfect for me. You see for over 30 years he has loved me well. He speaks words of love when I am acting unlovable. His love has no strings attached. His love is strong. It’s deep. It’s been a faithful, enduring love. Sure there have been moments that it’s been hard, it’s been frustrating, but still he loves. I’ve never known a love like this from another person.

Through my husbands imperfect love God reminds of His perfect love. God has allowed me to have a husband who lives out Ephesians 5:25 “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her”. Again my husband hasn’t done it perfectly, yet he has loved me in a way that shows me over and over just how deeply I am loved. And through this love I have been able to embrace and accept God’s love for me. I have been able to believe and trust in such a love.

My husband’s love has been unconditional. But God’s is even more so. Man tries not to attach any conditions, but often there are. With God there is absolutely no conditions on His love. Man’s love is imperfect. God’s love is perfect.

My insecurities can and do threaten my heart and mind at times. God is so patient and gracious and when I am feeling particularly unlovable He pours out His love and grace over me in ever surprising ways.

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This is part of the 2014 31 day writing  challenge over at the Nesting Place. You can check out my other post by clicking the image below.

Also linking up here today!