On Friday I was talking to a friend about the death of a parent. We have both lost our dads. He asked me how long do you mourn? I said “until heaven”.
It is true that it gets easier and the missing of them gets less painful. It is true that as time goes on we adjust and learn to live without them. We will live days, weeks, and months without thinking of the loss.
It is true that there are still moments of mourning, remembering, tears, and sorrow. These moments will come unbidden and when you least expect it. I remember one day drive down the road and the tears just began to flow, then I began to sob. I missed my father.
My Father has been gone for over 40 years and it has taken me almost that time to realize that it’s okay to stop and remember, to mourn once again and then move on. It is not a sign of weakness. It is not a sign that you haven’t gotten “over it”. It’s just part of the mourning of a loved one.
When we lose someone we love deeply there will always be moments that we need to breathe in the memories of the one we have lost and as we breathe in those memories there may be a tear or two. It’s a sign of loving deeply.
So give yourself permission to remember. To mourn. In the midst of it all allow the Spirit of God to bring comfort once more.
A time to weep and a time to laugh; A time to mourn and a time to dance. (Ecc. 3:4)
Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction so that we will be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. (2 Cor 1:3,4)
Photo courtesy of Stuart Miles, at www.freedigitalphotos.net
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