It was a beautiful day and as I sat there watching my youngest granddaughter I couldn’t help but feel blessed. I have a good life, I have four beautiful grandchildren and a family who loves me. Oh sure there have been hard roads, painful memories but God has been faithful to see me through them. He has used them to grow and teach me. And in this moment I was content. My heart was filled with joy, love and an overwhelming sense of gratefulness.
But it was in that very moment I felt the darkness in the pit of my stomach. I physically felt sick. As I sat there the darkness grew to the point that I was overcome by it. I tried to stop it but it was strong, too strong. He had been apart of me for far too long and this time I could feel the strength of his lies. He wrapped himself around my heart and mind until he had his death grip on me. This darkness has a name and I know him all to well. He is called shame.
Shame knows all about me. He knows the evil that lies within me. The sins I have committed. The lies I have told. Shame knows what I could be capable of doing. He knows the monster that I could be. He knows I am not who others think I am. He knows that I am not enough. He knows the darkness and depravity of my heart and the thoughts that so often race through my mind. And shame’s only purpose it to remind me of all these things.
Shame speaks lies. He knows no truth. Or perhaps the better way to say that is he knows the truth of the past, he knows what’s been done and will use it to remind me. But he forgets I know truth too. I know the truth of who I am. I know the truth of who he is and even more I know the truth of who God is.
Shame is my accuser. Shame is my enemy. Shame is what Satan uses as he stands before God and accuses me. He reminds God that I am filthy. I am unworthy. And to be honest at times it feels as if he has won. It feels as if I stand condemned. It feels as if I am the worst sinner ever.
But the truth is that Jesus stands between my accuser and me. Jesus rejects the enemy’s accusations. He paid the blood price for those sins that Satan now accuses me with. Jesus covers me in grace and mercy. Satan does not have power for Jesus defeated Him already.
And I am reminded that Jesus has taken away my sins. I am free. I have a new heart and mind. The Father sees Jesus when He sees me. God sees the blood of Jesus that has covers my sins. I am His precious child who is no longer accused. I can now walk in righteousness. I now have God’s Spirit in me. I have the Spirit’s power.
So sweet child, stop listening to the lies of shame. Shame only has the power over you if you allow it. Do not fear your enemy called shame, rebuke him in Jesus name and he will flee. And beloved, if ever you feel like you can’t fight him, just call out the name of Jesus for He am always with you and the power of His name will cause your enemy to flee.
I wish this scenario didn’t happen as often as it does, but I struggle more often than I care to admit with shame based thinking. But the joy…the grace…the encouragement is this, Each time I struggle the struggle is less. Each time shame comes I grow, heal and learn to run to Jesus. And those times I find it exceptionally hard I humble myself and ask for help. I cry out to Jesus and ask for prayers and words of truth from trusted friends.
Zach 3:1-6; Eph 1:7; John 3:18, 8:36; Luke 10:17; 2 Cor 6:11; Rom 8:1
If you are struggling with shame and want to learn more I encourage you to read these two articles that I recently read and found very helpful