America is a materialistic society. Are we losing our bonds with our families? …Are our ambitions making us work harder and harder at the expense of our family values? Katia
This week I’ve been reflecting a lot on the choices my husband has made throughout our marriage. In a day when it seems that choices are made based on money and climbing the corporate latter my husband has made choices that put his family first.
I am thankful that when we were a young family that my husband had a teachable and willing heart to listen to the advice of someone who basically said that your success is wrapped up in your family not your job. At that time he was working 12 hour days and the boys rarely saw their father. In order to spend more time with them he would come home for dinner, tuck them into bed, then go back to work for several hours. Those were the early days of “paying your dues” to get ahead in the company. He paid them without sacrificing his family. Yes there was still sacrifices to be paid, but he was able to have that time to read to the boys, give them baths and give mommy a break.
As the years passed, and the boys grew my husband continued making choices that showed his family was important. Choices in taking inexpensive family vacations, day and weekend trips. Making every effort possible to be at school plays, concerts, soccer, and basketball games.
Throughout the years job opportunities came his way. Opportunities that promised bigger salaries and bigger moves up the corporate ladder. Opportunities that would require more hours, more traveling and moves across the country. Moves to places like Miami, Los Angles, New York. Places he didn’t want to raise a family. Yes he could commute, but that would require time away from family. Time away from what he believed was his first priority, raising his children and supporting his wife.
He has done this and still provided us with a good, comfortable life. A life that enabled me to stay home and raise our children. But again it was through making choices that went against the American way of thinking. We’ve lived in the same house for 26 years, a modest home, and we didn’t feel we needed to provide our children with all the latest and greatest toys.
I could go on, but my intent is not to bring glory to my husband or the choices he has made. My intent is to simply share that it can be done. We can make choices to put family first. We can choose not to try to “have it all” to pursue “the American dream”. We can choose to live simply and comfortably.
I see so many moms who are very weary. They are married and yet they raise the children alone and with very little support from dad. I see children growing up without knowing their fathers and in some cases not really knowing their mothers. Children being raised by strangers. Why? All because daddy, and sometimes mommy, are out chasing the American dream.
I know this isn’t a popular way of life in the world and even in many Christian circles and their will be many who will disagree with me. It’s okay, I am a big girl and can handle it. But so many have bought into the lie that it’s our RIGHT to pursue the American dream and have the big homes, big vacations, expensive cars etc… That “right” has been costly to the family unit.
My encouragement to young families who are trying to do what is right is to keep making choices for your families sake. I know there are families who are doing everything they can and still have a hard time putting food on the table, please don’t be discouraged. I have seen God work miracles in the lives of families who continue to make choices in favor of putting family and God first. I have seen God provide money, food, and things in such miraculous ways that it’s been an opportunity to sing His praises and glorify His name.
We serve a God who sees us, He knows our needs, He is our provider.
This is an excellent post with so much wisdom and encouragement. I have also been blessed with a husband who feels family is more important than work or money. In my work I see people at the end of their life. They are reduced to one room and it doesn't matter how much money or stuff they have. What does matter is their relationship with God and their family, and believe me it really shows!ReplyDelete
Thank you so much Mari! I am glad you shared the prespective you have seeing those you work with.Delete