To Follow Him Only

I’ve been making my through God Searches For A Heart Fully His as my quiet time. When I do a PUP Study as part of my quiet time it typically takes longer than it would in a group study. If I have time I will do the who days homework, if not I just break it into sections. Regardless I have thoroughly enjoyed this time learning about how to have a heart that is fully His. It is the desire of my heart.

I want my heart, my life, to be completely His, don’t you? I have written other blogs while doing this study, here, here, here and here if you would like to read more.

Now on to something I saw last week in my studies and have been anxious to share it with you!

I’ve been in 2 Chron 17 –19 learning about King Jehoshaphat. He was the king of Judah during King Ahab of Israel. But for today I want to concentrate on chapter 17. He is described as a man who the Lord was with. He followed David’s example and did not seek the Baals. Jehoshaphat sought the Lord and followed His commandments. Then in the last part of verse 4 it says, “and he did not act as Israel did.”

Chapter 17 goes on to tell us that he took great pride in the ways of the Lord and removed the high places. He also sent out officials and priests to teach the book of the law to the people throughout the cities of Judah. Jehoshaphat had great riches and honor among the nations and they did not make war on him.

Jehoshaphat is off to a good start and we get a clear look at a heart that seeks God. A heart that is fully His is one that seeks the Lord. He follows the commandments and does not worship other gods.

Throughout this study I have seen other kings described in similar ways. But here there was something different. Something new I hadn’t seen before and it struck my heart and I’ve been chewing on it since.
Verse 4 tells us, “and he did not act as Israel did.” Why was this mentioned? I mean I would understand it saying “he did not act as the nations around him.” That is something God had said over and over to His people. But to not act as Israel? Were they not also apart of His people?

To find out why read more here.

True Worship

I read a quote recently that said something along the lines of “If you want to know what your idol is look at what makes you angry”. It has stuck with me over the last couple of days and wish I could find where I saw it! Anyway, it keeps coming to me as I have noticed a certain thing that makes me angry to the point that it interrupts my worship of God through song. I realize this thing, which is a preference of style, has nothing to do with the root issue of my anger, or idolatry. Once again it comes back to my idol of self. I want to do things my way. I want to control the circumstances, but I know I can not.

I can not insist on my preference of a certain style of song  or music just as you can not insist on your preference. When we begin to demand our preferences in order to worship, we begin to walk a thin line of making it more about me (or you) than God.

So once again I find myself asking the question, what is worship? I know it’s more than the songs we sing on Sunday. It’s more than anything we do on a Sunday during “worship” services. But so many people, including myself at times, insist that the worship service must be a certain way. We all have opinions and preferences.

I want to know what God wants. How does He define worship? What does it look like according to His desires?

In John 4 Jesus tells the Samaritan woman, who believes in God and worshipped him according to the her traditions, that her worship is wrong. The Jews worshipped in Jerusalem, but even their worship had become apostate. He then says in verses 23 and 24, "But an hour is coming, and now is, when the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth; for such people the Father seeks to be His worshipers.  "God is spirit, and those who worship Him must worship in spirit and truth."

What does it mean to worship in Spirit and Truth? What is true worship? If true worshippers will worship both in spirit and in truth, does that mean those who don’t worship this way are false worshippers? Is there a right way and a wrong way to worship?

As you can see I have a lot of questions. I want to worship in spirit and truth. I want to worship in a way that brings glory to God and allows me to totally focus on Him.

As I journey to seek answers I thought it would be fun to allow you to walk with me. Hopefully together we will answer these questions by searching scripture to see what it says about worship.  

Here is just a taste of some of the questions I hope to answer, not necessarily in this order.

• How do we worship?
• Who do we worship?
• Is individual worship different than corporate?
• What does worship in spirit and truth look like?
• Does God care how I worship as long as my heart is right?

I hope you join me as I would love to hear your heart and what God has taught you about true worship.

A Word of Encouragement

I love it when the Word of God speaks into my heart with encouragement at just the time I need it. For months I have felt distant from God, a lack of passion to really seek Him. It’s been especially hard since I haven’t had a Bible Study or a person to study with.  You know, someone to help keep me accountable to be in the word. Someone to encourage me, listen to me process, and to just grow together. We all need that right?

Then I remembered the message God had given me at the beginning of the year. He gave me Psalm 24:4-5 which says "He who has clean hands and a pure heart, who has not lifted up his soul to falsehood and has not sworn deceitfully. He shall receive a blessing from the Lord..." From this verse and various books He has had me read, I have come face to face with my idols. Like my tendency to run to people instead of God.

If I run to people instead of God I am saying I do not trust God. I am saying He alone isn’t enough. In essence I am telling God “I only need you if I can’t figure this out on my own”. I’ve even said “I just want/need Jesus with skin on!” While we understand the meaning of that phrase to mean sometimes God uses people to give a hug or a word at just the right time as if God Himself were doing it, it isn’t something He chooses to do all the time.

So what do you do when you are feeling like you need “Jesus with skin on” and He says “I am enough”? What happens when weeks and months go by without “feeling” His presence in a tangible way?

Here is what God showed me today. This is the truth from His very voice that was spoken to my heart.

"…LORD, there is no one besides You to help in the battle between the powerful and those who have no strength ; so help us, O LORD our God, for we trust in You… 2 Chron 14:11

And this, “…the LORD is with you when you are with Him. And if you seek Him, He will let you find Him; but if you forsake Him, He will forsake you.” 2 Chron 15:2

And this, …"But you, be strong and do not lose courage , for there is reward for your work."… 2 Chron 15:7

 

As I read through 2 Chronicles I was reminded that my part is to seek the Lord. I am to seek Him with my whole heart. I am to purge the idols and rid my life of the things that distract me from spending time with Him. (2 Chron 15:5-16)

God sent Asariah to King Asa in Chapter 15 with a message from God. The way the king responded gives me much food for thought.

First, he received the message and took courage. In other words he didn’t need to think about it. He didn’t need to talk it over with anyone. He accepted it as truth.

Second, he removed all the idols. He heard from God, knew God was with him so then he acted. He did not whine or argue or think he had a better way. He just went to work doing what was needed.

Then he restored the altar. This is huge. When we begin removing the idols of our heart we must then replace the idols with truth. We must allow the sweet promises of God to be restored into our soul.

He gathered the people together. We do need community. I find it interesting that Asa only gathered the people after he removed the idol and restored the altar. Knowing God was with him he did what God required, then  he went to the people. When the people saw Asa they could tell that the Lord was with with him.(15:9b)

Does my community see God in me? A good question to ponder.

Finally, together with the community, they gave sacrifices to the Lord and entered into a covenant. Once Asa heard from the Lord and worked out that which needed to be done he entered a covenant. We do need those around us to help remind us of that which God has done and is doing. We need the community around us in order to rejoice together in what God is doing.

Asa had a prophet give him a message from the Lord. I have his word. I need to remember that God has already told me how I am to live and what I am to be. I do not need to go to others first, I need to go to God. I need to pursue the life God has for me. I am to SEEK Him, no one else.

Community comes after we have heard from God, and we’ve walked in obedience. We can not “gather the people” before we’ve allowed God to work in our own hearts. God does the work in our hearts not people.

What happens when we seek God with our whole heart? We find Him. What happens when we are obedient and removed the idols from our hearts? We have peace? Peace in this world? No, but we have peace in our soul and with God.

I love and get much encouragement from 2 Chron 15:17,

“But the high places (cultic platform, places of worship) were not removed from Israel; nevertheless Asa's heart was blameless all his days.” 2 Chron 15:17

There is so much more to learn about Asa, why not read it for yourself? His story is found in 2 Chron 14-16.

Adonai - Lord, Master

This is the name of God that speaks of God’s total possession over all that is created. God’s possession of me. Adonai "signifies ownership or mastership and indicates "the truth that God is the owner of each member of the human family, and that He consequently claims the unrestricted obedience of all." ¹

The name Adonai speaks of God as Lord and Master over my life. When Isaiah  heard his Master’s voice he responded to His voice by saying "Here I am. Send me!"  (Is 6:8)

If God is Lord and Master over my life then I will understand that I am His servant. I am a servant worthy to serve my God, my Master.

If God is Lord then I will lay down my life to serve Him and whatever He calls me to do. I will count it a privilege, an honor to serve.
If God is Lord and Master over all my life then I can be confident that whatever He calls me to do he will equip me to carry it out.

“For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand so that we would walk in them.” Eph 2:10

Many find it difficult to surrender themselves to Adonai. To make Him Lord over our lives would require us to give up what control we think we might have. To give up a life of self-sufficiency.

Just this week as I have been studying what it means to be transformed by the gospel and looking at the elder son in Luke 15 I have been reminded of this – the need to give up trying to control my life.
I like rules. I like to follow them. I like to know where I stand. Even though I know I can never fulfill the law, I must admit I like having a list of do’s and don’ts. I so often find myself saying, “If you just tell me what to do, how to act, etc… I’ll obey” I just want the “list” so I can do what I am suppose to do.

But the root of all this is my idol. My idol of wanting to control. It’s a constant battle. What God is beginning to show me is that my desire for control, to be lord in my own life is sin. It really hit as I was listening to a sermon by Dr Tim Keller² when he said, “The default of every human heart is self justification. We try to be our own savior and lord, trying to control our own life.”  He was describing me. He was making me look deep inside to see the yuck in my heart.

Somehow it’s not so bad when we say “I have control issues”, but when we see it for what it really is we have no choice but recognize we want to be lord of our own lives. This my dear sisters is sin. It must be repented of. It’s an idol that must be destroyed.

My Adonai I have grieved you by making an idol of self and desiring control. Father shower me with Your grace. Continue to pull back the layers of my heart to reveal that which I still am trying to control. Show me those areas of my life I have not surrendered to You. Come Father and be Lord over all my life. Help me to say as Isaiah did, “Here I am!” Help me to die to all of self that You might live as Lord over all my life.

To know God and to know Christ as Lord (Adonai) means that I must relinquish my desires to want control over my life. I must give up my “rights” and allow Him to have complete reign over me. I must die and and allow Christ to live. (see Phil 1:21)


¹ Nathan Stone. Names of God. The Moody Bible Institute of Chicago, 1944, 2010, 62
² Dr.Tim Keller.Prodigal Sons. http://sermons2.redeemer.com/sermons/prodigal-sons

Undone by Your Grace

My heart is troubled as I look within and see the darkness that lurks there.

I want Jesus to empty me of my will, self-desires, self sufficiency and the idols that keep me from truly seeking my Fathers heart.

I long for the deepest part of God- to know His heart- to feel it beating inside me.

I long for it and yet it terrifies me.

His heart, His love, it will break me. I will be undone.

It is required in order to truly die to self. To give myself over completely. To be undone by His love. His grace.

My flesh rises up and wants to overpower my longing to die!! I must, once again, lay it all at the cross.

My focus should always be the cross and what happened there.

Christ dying for my sin. Conquering death, He lives.

My soul is weary. Weary of the battle. Fighting the flesh.

But weariness comes when I take my eyes off of Jesus, the cross and what was accomplished there.

Why does my flesh, my will, try to fight a battle that has already been won.

There is victory.

Victory has been won through Christ.

Father help me to surrender, to be completely undone by Your grace.

Help me rest.

Lost Passion

I sat there listening intently to our pastor bring forth truth from God’s word. It was a continuation of the week before. I was eager to hear more of how the Word of God works in our lives. In my life.

He asked a question. Do you love the word of God? Are you passionate about God’s word? Do you seek to uncover the treasures hidden within as if it were the purest of gold?

Yes, YES! My heart cried.

But since then I have heard God whisper ever so gently in my heart. “Do you really? Are you still passionate about being in my word like you once were?” The question haunted me. It cut deep within as it exposed truth. The truth of a lost passion.

I had not stopped being in the word. I was and am doing my daily readings as I go through in a year, but little beyond that. I’d pick up my Bible to study only to find myself distracted and seemingly without a purpose.

What was wrong? Was there sin? Am I just being lazy? Have I just lost my desire? But why would I loose desire for that which I loved so passionately before?

My heart was grieved. I looked to God for an answer. One of the first thoughts that came to my mind was, I am not in a Bible Study. I am not studying with other like-minded women. Studying the word together with others is such an encouragement. It keeps me accountable.

Studying deep, honestly, with vulnerability was what was missing. It has been a very long time since I have had that. That must be it. It had to be it. My spirit wouldn’t let it go. You see for some time now I have “whined” before God that there are no like-minded women to study with. Not that like to study the way I do. I’ve tried leading a study, but hardly anyone comes. So I get discouraged. I am discouraged.

I’m discouraged because I am looking at me. Somewhere along the line it became about me, AGAIN! It’s so frustrating to be here again. It’s not about me and what I think or want.  I KNOW THIS!!

It’s about what God wants to do in me and through me. It’s about God’s glory and how He chooses to reveal Himself to me. It is all about God. Why do I seem to need to learn this lesson over and over again?

I can not “blame” my loss of passion on the lack of having others studying with me. My lack of passion is due to a wrong attitude in my own heart. In my heart I had begun to slip back to old patterns of thinking. I desired intimacy with others instead of God. I want heart friends, sisters that would be there for me. I wanted it to be about meeting my needs.

In the beginning it sounded good since I wanted to do it through studying His word. But the lies of our idols can sound like truth and we begin to walk into their trap before we realize the danger we are in. It started out being about God and desiring to have other’s in my life that would walk with me, but it ended up being a desire to fulfill my feelings of discouragement, loneliness and being forgotten.

So here I am today, faced with a choice. Well that’s not really true, for there is only one choice and that is returning to my Jesus. I lost passion because I began to look to others instead of Him. I began to think in my mind that I needed more than just Him and His word. It’s not true. It’s not Jesus and ______, it’s Jesus. Period. Nothing more, nothing less.

You see what I had forgotten is that I need to go Jesus first. He wants me to run to Him and His word for all that my heart desires. Yes He wants us to be in community, but only after we’ve gone to Him.

When I am filled with Jesus and the truth of His word then…

• I have the right attitude in the midst of community.
• I come in order to serve and be “Jesus with skin on”.
• I do not look to be served and it’s not about me.
• I am better equipped to discern lies from truth.
• I am able to see the idols I am turning to instead of turning to God.

So what do I need to do today? Or as our Pastor asked at the end of his sermon “What do I need to apply immediately?”

It’s simple. First, I must pray. I need to confess. Confess that I have being running after other things instead of running to Him. I need to tell God the truth of my idols and wrong attitudes.

Second, I must choose to return to God and His promises. When I begin to turn to idols I have turned away from God and have begun the walk back to Egypt and slavery, just as the Israelites did in the Old Testament. I have chosen bondage over freedom. It needs to be a daily, moment by moment choice of turning my heart to God. My heart is so easily deceived. I must never think I can just run on auto pilot.

Third, I need to be diligent and on guard constantly. The enemy does not want to see God’s children enter into the fulfillment of God’s promises. He will deceive, lie and use words that seem like to truth to keep us from a passionate pursuit of God. The enemy is good at what he does, but those who are constantly before the face of God will not be so easily led back to Egypt.

Oh dear sisters, it’s a battle isn’t it? We can not let our guards down for even a second. Our enemy is just waiting to keep us from living a life lived in the freedom of God’s Spirit.

Today I began again. I will stop and do an about face. I will go to God’s word in obedience and know that He will meet me there. I will be patient, knowing that God does indeed have a plan for me, but for now I must seek Him whole heartedly.

My passion for His word will return as I return in obedience to the pursuing of His word.

I want to close using Psalm 119:169-176 as my prayer. As you read this take note exactly what the Psalmist is asking for. May our hearts desire the same as we seek Him with greater intimacy and passion.

“May my cry come before you, O LORD; give me understanding according to your word. May my supplication come before you; deliver me according to your promise. May my lips overflow with praise, for you teach me your decrees. May my tongue sing of your word, for all your commands are righteous.  May your hand be ready to help me, for I have chosen your precepts. I long for your salvation, O LORD, and your law is my delight. Let me live that I may praise you, and may your laws sustain me. I have strayed like a lost sheep. Seek your servant, for I have not forgotten your commands.”

 

It’s been awhile since I’ve linked up to the below but I know you will be blessed as you read what other’s are learning…

Destroying Idols

Dear children, keep yourselves from idols. 1 Jn 5:21 (NIV)

More than anything my heart desires greater intimacy with my Father in heaven. My heart cries out for it, longs for it.

My theme, my verse for last year was Hebrews 12:1-2 and can I just say honestly that I struggled mightily with what I needed to strip off or what sin was hindering my intimacy with God. I prayed, cried out to God to show me. I wanted to know. I longed to know. There was nothing. Silence.

I would do what Hebrews said and fix my eyes on Jesus, but it wasn’t working. It wasn’t enough. Can I be honest? Can I say what many often feel but are afraid to speak? He wasn’t enough. There it’s said, it’s in black and white and as I write it I know the truth behind it. It’s a lie. A sinful lie, an idol lie.

He is enough. That is truth. I know it. I do. At least in my head and most times in my heart. And this is the crux of the issue. This is the sin that hinders. It took all year to see it, but these last couple  of weeks have been huge in opening my eyes thanks to a friend who sent me the book Idol Lies: Facing the Truth about our Deepest Desires by Dee Brestin. I am only half way through but as I’ve been reading it God has been speaking to my heart. LOUDLY. The blinders are coming off and I am seeing the truth of my idols.

God spoke loudly when I read “Every believer needs to be set free, and it begins with getting past our denial, with seeing what we really idolize, and admitting this to God and to others. We may think, for example, that our deepest desire is for God, but in reality we are running to food, friendship, or Facebook to fill up our souls. We may think that our identity is in Christ, but in reality it may be in the success of our ministry, mothering, or marriage.”(1)

My idol will not be a surprise to those who know me well. In fact as I shared with my husband he smiled with a knowing smile and confirmed what I have been feeling. Too often I look to others and other things to fill that which only God can. Instead of running to God I run to others.

I long to be loved, accepted, wanted and no person can fill those needs. Only God can. But instead of running to God I turn to anything but Him.

“God knows that the stones in our hearts are painful. They destroy relationships and ministries and keep us from experiencing Him. When He sees the stones in our hearts, He is grieved. He wants to remove them so that life can flow.” (2)

This is where I am headed. I need to allow God to destroy the idols. To expose and remove them. Therefore I will be taking a break from all social media including my blog for the month of January. It could be longer I do not know. I do know I will wait upon the Lord to show me when to return. I am giving up all these things not so much because I believe ALL of social media is an idol in my life, but I don’t want anything to tempt me or keep me from hearing from God.

I do not want my heart to be divided. I want my heart to be pure before God. This leads me to my verses for 2013.

"The earth is the Lord’s, and everything in it. The world and all its people belong to him. For he laid the earth’s foundation on the seas and built it on the ocean depths. Who may climb the mountain of the Lord? Who may stand in his holy place? Only those whose hands and hearts are pure, who do not worship idols and never tell lies. They will receive the Lord ’s blessing and have a right relationship with God their savior. Such people may seek you and worship in your presence, O God of Jacob. Psalms 24:1-6 NLT

Even as I write this my heart wonders what you will think. Will lose “followers”? Friends? Those that I have come to know and love? But God reminds me I only need to trust Him. Trust. Why does it always come back to that. To trust Him with all my life, my relationships.

I would appreciate and welcome your prayers. And those who are friends with me around the web feel free to keep me accountable if you “see” me before February. I will still answer email, so if you need to you can contact me there.

I am so thankful for each of you and wish you a Happy New Year. See you in February.

 

(1)Brestin, Dee (2012-09-11). Idol Lies: Facing the Truth About Our Deepest Desires (p. 6). Ingram Distribution. Kindle Edition

(2)Ibid., (p. 13)