His Humble Servant

 I am reminded of King Nebuchadnezzar in Daniel 4:30 when he gave himself glory for the building of Babylon instead of God. 

Leaders do not build anything, whether a church rises or falls is God’s doing. Any leader who claims “it’s my church, I built it” has a sin of pride. 

Because of pride, James M Boice says of King Nebuchadnezzer, “God caused him to be lowered from the pinnacle of human pride and glory to the baseless of insanity, it was God’s way of saying that this is what happens to all who …take the glory of God for themselves.” 

I find this a bit sobering. As a leader of a church, ministry, family or if you’ve written a blog, authored a book, or created anything really, it’s so important to remember that you and I haven’t built anything. God has given the abilities, the knowledge to do what we are doing. He has brought success or failure. 

There needs to be a humility within each of us that says, “all glory goes to God, I am but His humble servant.” 

How Well Do You Love?

Today love means so many different things. It’s thrown around so casually. How many times in a week do I hear, "love you"? If we really believed the words you would think everyone loves everyone. It would be like we all live in one big love fest! Yet our actions often show something so different. 

As a society, and a church and as individuals I believe we have lost the ability to love as we ought. Maybe not lost, but forgotten. We lost the meaning of what it truly means to love. One simple question helps us to see this.  Do our actions back up the love we say we have for our brother’s and sister’s in Christ? Our enemies? Those who believe differently than us?

So what is love? When I go to the Word of God I am reminded of what love looks like. It is selfless. Putting others before my own desires. Love is being kind, patience and giving grace. Love forgives, is loyal and always expects the best of the other. (1 Cor 13)

Do these words describe the way I treat my brothers and sisters in the Lord? All of them? Even the ones who I might not agree with? Even the ones who have hurt me? Am I kind to those I disagree with? What about those who are different than me? Those that look different? Talk differently? Live differently? What about those who are outside the faith? Do I show them love? Do I speak in kindness? Do accept them for where they are and just show the love of Christ to them?

What of the other verses on love? Can I truly love as Christ calls me to? The answer is no. In fact as I read the below list on how I am to treat others I quickly realize just how impossible it is. I can not love like this. At least on my own. It is only through Christ that I am able.

God says that

• I am to be devoted to my brothers and sisters in Christ. He says that we are to honor others above ourselves.
• Be willing to teach and admonish one another.
• Love one another, deeply from the heart.
• We are to live in harmony with all regardless of their social status.
• We should stop passing judgment on one another.
• We are to bring praise to God by accepting one another.
• We should be united in mind and thought.
• We should be willing to serve one another.
• We need to be humble, gentle, and patient with one another.
• Be kind, compassionate and forgiving toward our brothers and sisters.
• We should have a willingness to submit to one another.
• We are to live in harmony with one another; be sympathetic, love as family, be compassionate and humble.
• We are to offer hospitality to one another without complaining.
• Love one another....
  

(Rom 12:10,12:16,14:13; 1Co 1:10; Ga 5:13; Eph 4:2,4:32,5:21; Col 3:13,16; 1Th 5:11; Heb 10:25; 1Pe 1:22,3:8,4:9; 1John 3:11,4:12; 2John 1:5)

My love would be is selfish apart from His Holy Spirit living in me. My love is not only selfish but can be needy and demanding. I (we) often demand others to think, behave and belief as we do in order for us to love. But this is not love. In fact when I read what God says about love I realize it has NOTHING to do with me.

His kind of love is all about others. His kind of love sacrifices self.

Love is a willingness to serve, not be served. Love is about dying to my wants, needs and expectations. Love is not only saying I love you but showing it. Love is putting my plans aside to be with a friend who needs a shoulder. Love is inviting someone to dinner who may need a friend, whether or not they ever invite you to their home. Love is giving of your time and your resources to help those outside your circle of friends. Love is giving a smile, a hug, a simple touch on the arm and letting someone know you care.

Let’s stop just saying “I love you” and start showing it. And by showing it I mean showing it to the point that our gift of love is a sacrifice. After all it is the example Christ gave us of love.

Oh Jesus help me to die to self. To my expectations, my selfish desires. Help me to die to ME! I want to love deeply, sacrificially, without prejudice. I want to show love like Jesus shows life, but laying down my life for others. Oh Spirit help me to be truly willing and obedient.

Living at the Cross of Jesus

I want to awaken each morning and fall at the cross of Jesus. At the cross is the only place that I can remember what a great sinner I am and what a great Savior I have. To begin each day at the cross is where truly humility is evidenced by Jesus coming down to earth in the form of man so that He could take my sins upon Himself and pay the penalty of death that should be mine to pay.

The cross is a beautiful picture of humility, suffering and grace. I want to embrace it anew each morning so that I will be reminded of the gospel, what it means, what it cost and that I need to walk in it. But I don’t want to stay there, I want to then look to the empty tomb where there is grace.

You see, if I begin each day at the cross how can I possibly think more highly of myself than I ought? How can I not be humbled? But even more so, how can I not walk in a humble gracefulness that then preaches the gospel to myself and to others?

The truth is though, I will fail every single day. I will sin against God and against others. My pride, selfishness, insecurities, fear and so many other sins of my flesh will cause hurt toward God and others. But if I am living at the foot of the cross, remembering I am a sinner and then looking to the empty tomb and beyond to the One who already paid the price, I will walk in grace and not shame.

And this is where I want to live. I want to live at the cross so that I might look beyond it toward the resurrection and walk in the freedom of grace.

If I live preaching the gospel to myself on a daily basis then when I sin against others and God I will seek forgiveness. I will remember when others hurt me that I need to freely forgive them whether they ask for it or not. By living at the cross I will remember to walk in grace.

Oh Jesus, I do not want to ever forget of my great sinfulness. My sins before you are great and I deserve hell. I deserve to be separated from you eternally. There is nothing in me that I can do or say to make myself righteous in Your eyes. Not one thing. So I come before you and cry out for mercy, forgiveness and grace which is so freely given to me. Thank you Jesus. Thank you. Amen.

Make Me Humble Lord…

Humility. It is the word that keeps popping up lately. We all struggle to be humble. We all struggle with the sin of pride. I once was talking with a woman, sharing with her about a recent struggle in the area of pride and she said, “That’s one sin I never struggle with.” It shut me up. It seems it’s the sin I struggle most with. Perhaps I was really as bad as I thought. Perhaps I wasn’t even a Christian!

It’s been five years since that conversation and what I have realized since then is that everyone struggles with pride. EVERYONE. In fact my pastor said in a recent sermon that “every sin is rooted in pride.”

It’s pride that says my way of doing things or my idea is better than yours.

It’s pride that says I deserve this (whatever this is) and I am going to have it even if it might not be good for me or sinful.

It’s pride that says my time is more important than yours so I will make you wait.

It’s pride that keeps people at arms length because you’ve been hurt.

It’s pride that says I don’t have to obey that rule or that law because I don’t like it.

It’s pride that says you aren’t like me, you don’t “fit” into my culture so I will not attempt to know who you really are.

Tim Keller says in his book, The Freedom of Self Forgetfulness, “Spiritual pride is the illusion that we are competent to run our own lives, achieve our own sense of self-worth and find a purpose big enough to give us meaning in life without God.” So basically anytime I try to live my life without seeking God first I am being prideful. Anytime I try to find my worth in anything apart from God I am being prideful.

Pride. It’s bigger than we think. It’s deeper than we see. And unless we begin to call it was it is it will become a stronghold in our heart and life. It is sin. It is a deep sin that has been ingrained in the human heart since the first sin of pride in the garden of Eden.

So what is the answer? What can a prideful heart do? Go to the cross and confess. Run to the cross of Christ and surrender your pride. The cross is where we find humility. Humility is a holy God who chooses to become man so that He could pay the blood price for sin.

Jesus calls us to be humble. He came to show us what true humility looks like. True humility puts the other persons needs before your own.

True humility says that you and your happiness is more important than my own.

True humility doesn’t spend all day thinking of self or what self needs, wants or desires.

True humility shows compassion, forgiveness and grace toward those who they have been hurt by.

True humility says I am not deserving that God would use me but so grateful He does.

Again a quote from Tim Keller that says, “This is gospel-humility, blessed self-forgetfulness. Not thinking less of myself as in modern cultures, or less of myself as in traditional cultures. Simply thinking of myself less.” Oh to be humble enough that I simply forget to think about myself!

So, what I have learned is that to think one does not struggle with pride is in itself pride. We all struggle with it in some form or fashion. I have learned that, yes I struggle with pride, but knowing this should send me to the cross admitting that I am a sinner.

Oh to be humble! To be completely overwhelmed with my utter depravity, not to cause shame, but so that I might fall prostrate before a Holy God and confess my sin. Yes this is my prayer, that God might make me humble. That He might show me the areas of my heart where pride has taken root and has manifested itself in wrong behaviors and attitudes.

Oh Make me humble Lord. This is what I pray!

Irresistible Grace

 

We declare, upon Scriptural authority, that the human will is so desperately set on mischief, so depraved, and so inclined to everything that is evil, and so disinclined to everything that is good, that without the powerful, supernatural, irresistible influence of the Holy Spirit, no human will ever be constrained towards Christ. C.H. Spurgeon

I don’t know about you but I see evidence of irresistible grace daily in my life. I see my propensity toward sin. I see my natural inclinations to do whatever my flesh desires. Therefore if there is any good in me, if I desire to do anything at all that would be considered righteous then it must be God, through Jesus, that wills it.

Today, once again, I am reminded of the gift of irresistible grace. I am reminded of my need to humble myself before the cross of Jesus and pray for the continued work of the Holy Spirit’s work in my life, heart and will.

Thank you Father for Your grace that draws me toward Jesus for my salvation…

 

Join me for 31 Days of Seeking Grace

 

Also joining my friends over here today…..

If You Love Me…

Sometimes when I sit and read the word of God it speaks so simply and I wonder how can the reader not understand? It’s so straight forward, the truth so obvious.   This morning was one of those times.

I sat down to read John 14, taking a break from Acts. This weekend we had a special speaker, one of our missionaries. He spoke on John 15 and as he brought forth the truth my heart was deeply pricked. It wasn’t a new truth, but I heard the Father ask a simple question of my heart. “Do you love me? Do you love me enough to allow me to prune you? Do you love me enough to allow me to lift up those parts of your life that are lying in the mud? Do you love me enough to allow me to reattach those places that no longer bear fruit?” (John15:1-6)

These are not easy questions. They trouble my heart. I am troubled because I am aware that if I truly loved Him the answer would be a whole hearted, “yes!”. Instead I think of how tired I am, how discouraged I have been and I think to my self, “maybe the pain, the surrender, the dying to self isn’t worth it”.

The Spirit speaks to my spirit and reminds me, “You have a Helper. You are not alone. “Do not let your heart be troubled; believe in God, believe also in Me.” (John 14:1)

I realize my thinking isn’t truth so I open the book of Truth and read John chapter 14.

This is Truth. Jesus is preparing a place for me with His Father. Jesus reminds me that He is THE way, THE truth and THE life and that no one comes to know the Father but through Him. (14:6) Jesus reminds me that if I truly believe in Him and the works that He does He will do even greater works in me and through me. All I need to do is ask in His name. And finally I am reminded that if I love Him I will keep His commandments. (14:15)

If I love Him? Of course I love Him! How could there even be a doubt in my mind?

“Do you love Me enough to allow Me to prune you?”

My heart is heavy and I see my sin, my weakness, my unwillingness to pay the cost of loving Him, of following Him.

I surrender. I confess. Again I am encouraged, by the words of Jesus. Through His word encouragement comes when He speaks to all and says that If you love Me not only will you keep my commandments but…

I will send a Helper to help you (14:16)

The Helper will abide with you and in you (14:17)

Jesus will not leave you (18)

Because He lives you live (19)

He is in His Father and you in Him and He is in you (20)

Jesus goes on to say that if we love Him we will -

Keep His commandments and will be loved by Him and the Father (21)

We will keep His word and the Father will love him (23)

We will come to Him and abide in Him (23)

Do I love Him? With great humility and honesty I must admit that at times my life and my thoughts testify against my love for Him. But I do love Him. I believe in Him, His words, His truth, His love for me. With all my life I choose to follow Him and count the cost, whatever it may be.

So yes, prune me, lift me up out of the mud, show me the areas of my life that have fallen from You. Teach me the things I still need to know, to see and to confess.

Oh Father I am forever in Your debt. These words that I have written seems so hollow in compared to all that I owe you. Help me. Remind me I am not alone in the pruning process. You have sent me Your Helper. He will teach me. He will remind me of all that You have said.  Father help me to live a life that shows I love You. Help me to do exactly what You command me to do. Help me to live like Jesus. Amen.

Choosing Spiritual Leaders

Yesterday I started a study of the book of Acts. I’ve read it before, but not studied it and recently I have come across a couple of verses that are very interesting and worthy of deeper studying. So I figured the only way to do that is to study the whole book! Beside Acts is part of the history of the Church, it’s important to know. Why? Because God included it and if He included it I need to know it. (For those who might be interested I am not using a Bible Study, just studying inductively on my own.)

As I read Acts one I was reminded of a few important principles of choosing spiritual leaders. I imagine that most ministries, churches and organizations are familiar with this and practice it, but it’s always good to go back and remind ourselves. On the other hand, unfortunately, I have been apart of ministries that have different criteria for choosing leaders. I have seen everything from choosing a best friend to and warm body will do. There is nothing more frustrating to me than trying to serve under some one who isn’t called by God. Even more frustrating is trying to lead when you haven’t been called to that particular ministries or position.

So then, how do we choose spiritual leaders?

As I looked at Acts chapter one verse fifteen I was curious why Peter took the leadership. Then I remembered Matthew 16:18 "I also say to you that you are Peter, and upon this rock I will build My church ; and the gates of Hades will not overpower it.” and John 21:15-17 in which Jesus tells Peter to “shepherd” (to feed, to tend a flock, keep sheep, to rule, govern) and “tend”(to feed, to promote in every way the spiritual welfare of the members of the church). Clearly Jesus had called Peter to lead.

So Peter stands before the group of followers and tells them that the time has come to replace Judas. Peter reminded them that it had been written in the book of Psalms that another man should take his office. 

But how would they choose? The first thing that Peter says is that  it must be one “who have accompanied us all the time that the Lord Jesus went in and out among us” (Acts 1:21) This wasn’t someone who had recently joined the group but someone who had been with them from the beginning to the end. (vs22)This man would be a witness of His resurrection and needed to know the teachings of Christ.

So the first thing we see is that this man needed to know Jesus. He needed to have a relationship with Him, not one that is recent but one that shows He has been with Jesus for awhile.

I have been in ministry where this has been done well and leaders are careful chosen and I have been in ministry where those who have only known the Lord for a very short time are chosen. I am sure we all have, but we must remember that if a leader is truly called by God then he will have a long, consistent (not perfect) relationship with Christ.

The second thing we see is that they chose two from among them, prayed and cast lots. They asked the Lord to show which of these two He has chosen. Only Jesus knows the hearts of all men. He alone knows who should serve in leadership, so why would we not go to Him and ask who He has called?

I have seen spiritual leaders chosen because a leader was needed and anyone who volunteered was used. I’ve seen leaders chosen by popularity. And I have seen leaders chosen after careful prayer, counsel and some kind of interview process. I believe we do a great disservice to the ministry and to the person when we put someone in leadership who is not called to be there. Oh they may be called to leadership but it’s important that God has chosen them for that particular ministry.

In Acts we see two men chosen. Two men qualified to fulfill the role. I am sure both men could have done the job, but God only chose one. Peter didn’t say, “we have two qualified leaders so lets just add them both”. He knew that God knew the hearts of these men and only by asking God would the right man be chosen.

The third thing I see, or I am reminded of, is my own responsibilities in regards to choosing leaders. If my church leaders have followed the above criteria in choosing a leader and have humbly vetted (1 Tim 3) the potential leader then I too must spend time praying. I can not vote according to who I might like better, or who I know better. A vote must be cast according to who I, through prayer, believe God has called.

In summary we choose leaders by

• choosing those who have a consistent relationship with Christ.  I would propose that also means they need to have a solid understanding of Christ through His word.
• praying and asking God about the possible leader. No leader should ever be added without seeking God. Not EVER.

We need to remember that

• if we have a vote, then spend time praying for God’s person. We must take into careful account the spiritual walk of this person through prayer. If we have not prayed we should not vote.

And…

• if I am the leader being considered then I need to be praying also. I need to ask God to search my heart to see if I am ready for leadership. I need to know, because I have heard from God, that this ministry is His purpose for me. I can not go by what I think, for our thinking (and/or feelings) are often wrong and no one ever feels qualified. I must pray and seek God as to what His will is.

May we all remember our full responsibilities in choosing a leader. May we choose with a sober heart and not lightly without wise counsel or prayer.

Teach What You Know

 

I was reminded of something recently. Too many times I can allow what I do not know to keep me from sharing what I do know. What I fail to remember is that I am simply as resource to be used by the hand of God’s Spirit. It is God who knows all things. He is the source of all truth, wisdom and knowledge. He doesn’t expect me to know everything about what I am teaching or speaking about. He only desires that I am obedient to share the truth I know. It is God who will then fill in the gaps. He will make sure my children, those I mentor, teach or lead.

Acts 18:24-28; 19:1-7
In Acts 18:24 and 25 we are introduced to Apollos. He is an eloquent man, which means that he is skilled in speech, a man skilled in literature and the arts, versed in history and the antiquities. We are also told that he is “mighty in the scriptures” which tells us that he is strong in soul, strong in Christian virtue and excels in what he does. Scripture also tells us that Apollos was taught in the way of the Lord and then taught what he knew with zeal and fervor. He taught carefully and thoroughly about the Lord. At the end of verse of 25 we read that while he was teaching accurately the things of Christ he was only acquainted with the baptism of John. He was only familiar with the baptism of repentance and not the return of Christ or the Holy Spirit.

God sent Priscilla and Aquila to him so that they could explain to him the way of God more accurately. I love His attitude. Instead of thinking he alread had sufficient knowledge he had a heart that was teachable. Due to Apollo’s teachable heart he gained greater knowledge of the things of God.

What I find helpful to remember is that God used Apollos mightily even though he didn’t have full knowledge, there were parts missing so to speak in what he taught. In God’s timing He showed Apollos what was lacking. Then continued using him to speak powerfully against the Jews and to those who had believed by grace.

In chapter 19 God has Paul pass through Ephesus and Paul is able to teach the disciples there about the Holy Spirit. Paul teaches them what Apollos lacked to teach.

Awesome Encouragement!

As a mom, mentor or leader I am encouraged that the things I don’t know or have failed to teach, due to lack of full understanding of truth, He will send those to teach what I did not know. One of my biggest regrets is seeing those I failed because I did not know how to parent in the most biblical way. But God will send those people into the lives of my children to build upon what I already accurately taught them.

God will also send those to speak into my life and heart the things I do not yet understand. It is important to always have a teachable spirit. If I do not have a teachable heart and think I know it all (pride) then my usefulness to God will decrease.

Don’t you find such freedom in this! You do not need to worry about making sure you do everything absolutely perfect. All you need to do is be obedient to what He calls you to. You can teach, lead, and train your children with the knowledge God has given you now. While leading and training remain open to the teaching of those older and wiser and be teachable by them. Then you need to trust in the sovereign God who will send others to “fill in” the spiritual gaps you have left.

Oh Father thank you for continuing to use me even though there are so many areas of inadequacies. I thank you for the knowledge you have already given me. Help me to keep a soften heart toward those you send to continue to teach me. Father help me to have a heart of humility that knows I still have so much to learn. Help me to see those areas where I may be sincere but don't understand the full truth of your Word.  Amen.

Thinking of Self Less

Currently I am reading a book called The Freedom of Self-Forgetfulness by Timothy Keller and came across this little gem that pricked my heart,

"...the essence of gospel-humility is not thinking more of myself or thinking less of myself, it is thinking of myself less...it means I stop connecting every experience, every conversation, with myself. In fact, I stop thinking about myself...and think of others more. "¹

I wondered “how often do I think of self in a single day”? How often do I think of others?

Can I honestly say that I think of ways to pray or encourage others more than I think of myself? To be perfectly honest I don’t like what I see. I definitely could do better.

I want a gospel-humility. I want to live my life thinking of myself less. Self often screams out to be heard, to be fed and I quickly realize how hard this will be. To live a life that does not think of self? 

I can NOT do this.  At least not on my own. It is only through Christ that I am able. But I so desperately want to change. I want to be more like Christ.

Keller says “The more we get to understand the gospel, the more we want to change.”¹ I find this to be true. Since the beginning of the year it seems that all the books I’ve read, all that God has showed me leads to one word, the Gospel. The gospel of Jesus Christ. A gospel that I need to preach to myself everyday.

I want to change. I want to allow God to go deeper into my heart in order to mold me and shape me. I pray for it and ask God to remove any pride or false humility from my life. I pray that He would lead me to a place where I think more of others and think of myself less. I want my life to be centered around the cross, Jesus and the gospel.

Oh Jesus help me to die to self. If there is any pride, false pride or false humility in my heart Jesus I ask that You remove it. Show me how to live filled up with You so that I can live with a gospel-humility attitude. Help me to die to ME!

 

 

¹ Keller, Timothy'; The Freedom of Self Forgetfulness pages 32,34

To Finish Well

In my last blog post I shared how King Asa was a king that sought the Lord. He removed idols from the kingdom and He restored the things in house of God.

I shared “…the LORD is with you when you are with Him. And if you seek Him, He will let you find Him; but if you forsake Him, He will forsake you.” (2 Chron 15:2) God was with the King. God gives Asa a reign of peace, without war. We are even told that King “…Asa's heart was blameless...” (2 Chron 15:7)

At this point you could say that King Asa was off to a good start. A life that pleases God. A life that seeks God in all he does. He was running his race and he was winning, so to speak. He was living a life of peace in the land. But if you read verse 19 of chapter 15 you see that things change in the 35th year of his reign.

Beginning in 2 Chron 16 we see that war breaks out. Now you would think that King Asa would remember that in the past God helped them defeat an army of a million men. (16:8-9) King Asa had prayed to God (16:11) for help and God answered. (16:12-15) But this time when war comes King Asa takes matters into his own hands. He doesn’t seek God’s counsel. He makes a treaty with the king of Aram.

Was he over confident in his own abilities? Had he became complacent during those 30 plus years of peace? Scripture doesn’t tell us why this change in Asa. All we know for sure is that when he was in trouble this time he relied on man (King Aram) for help. So we know something in the heart of Asa had changed. King Asa did not win this battle. God was displeased.

2 Chron 16:7 tells us “…Hanani the seer came to Asa king of Judah and said to him, "Because you have relied on the king of Aram and have not relied on the LORD your God, therefore the army of the king of Aram has escaped out of your hand.” Hanani goes on to remind Asa of the time he has sought the Lord in war and God has answered." and then says “For the eyes of the LORD move to and fro throughout the earth that He may strongly support those whose heart is completely His. You have acted foolishly in this. Indeed, from now on you will surely have wars” (16:9)

I don’t know about you but I like happy endings. Unfortunately King Asa didn’t finish well. He did not have a happy ending to his life. At this point King Asa could have fallen before the Lord in humility and confessed that he had sinned against God. But King Asa did not. Instead he became angry and put the seer in prison. Scripture says he was “Enraged”. He was so upset that not only did he take his anger out on the seer but he also oppressed some of the people. (16:10-11)

Because of King Asa’s actions God choose to give him a disease of his feet. 2 Chronicles says in 16:12 that the disease was severe but even in this King Asa did not seek the Lord. Instead he choose to put his trust in the physicians. Two years later King Asa would die. 

As I look at King Asa’s life I wonder about my own walk on this earth. Do I seek God’s council or man’s? Who do I most often put my trust in? My dear sisters I don’t know about you but I want to finish well. I want to come to the end of my life and know that I have finished my race. I want to know that I have ran it with endurance. (Heb 12:1) I do not want to be one that shrinks back but one that has faith to preserve. (Heb:35-39)

How can I persevere to the end? I am sure my list is NOT exhaustive but this is what came to my mind as I was reflecting on Asa’s poor finish.

God wants a heart that is completely His. 2Chron16:9 God doesn’t want bits and pieces of our lives that we are willing to give Him, He wants access to all of our life. God wants someone who seeks Him and Him alone. Our whole life belongs to Him.

Our confidence must be in God. Hebrews chapter 10:35 says Therefore don’t throw your confidence away. But then what should we place our confidence in? Hebrew 10:1-34 tells us to place our confidence in Jesus Christ whose sacrifice is sufficient for us all. Our confidence is in the power of a living God who was raised from the dead.

We need endurance. We must understand that times in this life will be hard. We WILL have struggles, trials and temptations. When we face circumstances that seem impossible we need to persevere through it in the strength of Christ. We can not run to man (or woman) but we must run to God. (Heb. 10)

Remember past victories.  Hebrews 11 gives us a long list of those who persevered in their faith. We see men and women who faced unbelievable circumstances and yet they kept there faith in the God who would deliver them. Then in Heb. 12:1a we are told “Therefore, since we have so great a cloud of witnesses surrounding us…” Remember the pass victories of others and in your own life. Believe that if God worked things out before He is working things out now.

Lay aside this life. Hebrews 12:1b says “let us also lay aside every encumbrance and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us.” I think it’s fairly self explanatory and yet not always so easily done. But we must pursue a life that lives separated from things in this world. WE must stay away from those things or people that easily distract us and ends up getting us entangled in to sin. We must lay aside our selfish desires and press on toward a life that finishes well.

Oh Father help me to run my race with endurance. Help me to lay aside those things that keep me from running a good race. Show me those places in my heart that I have held from you. Father I desire to to run a race that is pleasing to You. I want a heart that is wholly yours, a heart that seeks you and you alone. And yet I am so weak. I give in so easily to my flesh!

“O LORD, there is no one besides You to help in the battle between the powerful and those who have no strength ; so help me, O LORD my God, for I trust in You” 2 Chron 14:11

Adonai - Lord, Master

This is the name of God that speaks of God’s total possession over all that is created. God’s possession of me. Adonai "signifies ownership or mastership and indicates "the truth that God is the owner of each member of the human family, and that He consequently claims the unrestricted obedience of all." ¹

The name Adonai speaks of God as Lord and Master over my life. When Isaiah  heard his Master’s voice he responded to His voice by saying "Here I am. Send me!"  (Is 6:8)

If God is Lord and Master over my life then I will understand that I am His servant. I am a servant worthy to serve my God, my Master.

If God is Lord then I will lay down my life to serve Him and whatever He calls me to do. I will count it a privilege, an honor to serve.
If God is Lord and Master over all my life then I can be confident that whatever He calls me to do he will equip me to carry it out.

“For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand so that we would walk in them.” Eph 2:10

Many find it difficult to surrender themselves to Adonai. To make Him Lord over our lives would require us to give up what control we think we might have. To give up a life of self-sufficiency.

Just this week as I have been studying what it means to be transformed by the gospel and looking at the elder son in Luke 15 I have been reminded of this – the need to give up trying to control my life.
I like rules. I like to follow them. I like to know where I stand. Even though I know I can never fulfill the law, I must admit I like having a list of do’s and don’ts. I so often find myself saying, “If you just tell me what to do, how to act, etc… I’ll obey” I just want the “list” so I can do what I am suppose to do.

But the root of all this is my idol. My idol of wanting to control. It’s a constant battle. What God is beginning to show me is that my desire for control, to be lord in my own life is sin. It really hit as I was listening to a sermon by Dr Tim Keller² when he said, “The default of every human heart is self justification. We try to be our own savior and lord, trying to control our own life.”  He was describing me. He was making me look deep inside to see the yuck in my heart.

Somehow it’s not so bad when we say “I have control issues”, but when we see it for what it really is we have no choice but recognize we want to be lord of our own lives. This my dear sisters is sin. It must be repented of. It’s an idol that must be destroyed.

My Adonai I have grieved you by making an idol of self and desiring control. Father shower me with Your grace. Continue to pull back the layers of my heart to reveal that which I still am trying to control. Show me those areas of my life I have not surrendered to You. Come Father and be Lord over all my life. Help me to say as Isaiah did, “Here I am!” Help me to die to all of self that You might live as Lord over all my life.

To know God and to know Christ as Lord (Adonai) means that I must relinquish my desires to want control over my life. I must give up my “rights” and allow Him to have complete reign over me. I must die and and allow Christ to live. (see Phil 1:21)


¹ Nathan Stone. Names of God. The Moody Bible Institute of Chicago, 1944, 2010, 62
² Dr.Tim Keller.Prodigal Sons. http://sermons2.redeemer.com/sermons/prodigal-sons

A Heart Ready to Hear

Sometime early in our marriage I realized that if I want to encourage my husband to take a certain vacation, buy a large item for the house or really anything that requires a major amount of money that it is best to be prepared before I ask.

I’ve learned that he will ask questions. Questions like “is it a need or a want?” “can we afford it?” “where is the money coming from?” “have you compared prices, options, places etc…?” “do you have a plan?” My husband is a logistics guy and he wants all the information up front before making a decision. I could just go to him and ask without being prepared, but he will not make a decision without all the facts. So I have found it easier to be prepared before I suggest or ask him to consider something.

As a side note, this used to really bug me about him. Why couldn’t he just make a snap decision? Why is all this information necessary before deciding? And then once he has the information it often takes days for him to consider it and pray about it.

What I have learned from him is that as I prepared for the questions I knew he would ask there were often times I would see what I thought was a NEED really wasn’t. By praying and preparing there were also times I would see wrong motives or selfishness. But by having a plan and marking out everything before hand we often saved money or ended up with something better than what I would have “settled” for.

So I learned that before going to my husband I needed to prepare not only for the questions he would have but I also needed to prepare my own heart. In all the years we’ve been married I must admit that my husband rarely denies anything I ask of him, but when he does I find that it is most often those times I haven’t first really prayed and prepared my own heart.

I don’t think God is any different. Before going to His word to hear from Him or ask anything of Him I need to prepare my heart. Sure the preparation is different than that for my husband but they both still require a preparedness of my own heart.

I am not going to be able to hear from God if there is sin in my heart. It will be impossible for me to hear Him if my motives or attitudes are wrong. So there are a few things I need to do BEFORE I go to God so that I can hear clearly His word to me.

• First I must cleanse my heart. It needs to be cleansed of sin, wrong motives, and other distractions.
• Pray for a heart that is hungry. A heart that is ready to receive His word, His instructions.
• Pray for a heart that is disciplined. I need to be willing to follow through and persevere no matter what may come my way. How can I ever expect to hear from God if my heart hasn’t been disciplined to listen?
• Pray for a heart that is obedient. We need to have a heart that is ready to obey whatever it is that we receive from God. We don’t want to be a hearer only of His word. We want to be doers of the Word we receive from God.

The ways that I must prepare for my husband and for God are different and yet both require preparation and prayer. Both require that I seek my own heart with eyes ready to see what is right, ready to see what is best.

How blessed are those whose way is blameless, who walk in the law of the LORD. How blessed are those who observe His testimonies, who seek Him with all their heart; they also do no unrighteousness; they walk in His ways. (Ps 119:1-3)

My soul is crushed with longing after Your ordinances at all times. (Ps 119:20)

Verse are taken from NASB. Bolded words are mine.

What Is It Like To Be Married To You?

“Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting” (Psalm 139:23-24

Have you ever thought about what it might be like to be married to you? So often we don’t really stop and think about what our actions and attitudes are toward our spouse. We tend to think in terms of “this is the way I am, they have to love me” or “If they would treat me better I might treat them better.” Both of these thoughts are wrong. As discussed in How Should I Treat My Husband we learned that Scripture has a lot to say about how we are to treat one another, and those “one another’s” include our husband.

So in truth how I treat my spouse should have nothing to do with him. I am to be obedient to God and treat my spouse as God tells me. I think today we should ask ourselves a few questions about our actions and attitudes.

We should ask ourselves, “What is it like being married to me?” I challenge you to sit alone before the Lord as you pray through the following questions. Ask God to reveal those things in your life that aren’t honoring to your spouse or to your God. Confess whatever sinful ways God points out to you.

I ask that the Lord would help you work on your own issues — your own “planks” that need to be removed. This is a time to consider the weaknesses you personally contribute to your marital relationship. DO NOT use this time to point out your mate’s weaknesses, but go humbly and honestly before God and ask if there is any hurtful way in YOU and ME!

• Do I speak to my spouse in a dishonoring way so they feel belittled? (You may feel justified in speaking this way to them but the result could be that your spouse will eventually avoid being with you and instead seek to be with others who don’t belittle them the way you do.)
•Do I give them my full attention when they’re trying to communicate with me? Do they feel that what they have to say is important to me? Or am I trying to multi-task?
•Do I have a tendency to lecture or berate them making them feel like a child?
•Do I lose my temper easily? When I am angry do my words tend to be words that could make them feel assaulted? (This could cause them to shut down mentally and emotionally from hearing what you’re trying to communicate.)
•Do I treat “outsiders” with more love and respect than I do my own spouse?
•Do I use cutting humor with my spouse, saying, “I’m just kidding…” and yet my spouse has shown they don’t think what I’ve said is funny? And do I do this in front of others so that my spouse feels humiliated?
•Am I patient with my spouse, bearing with his weaknesses?
•Does my marriage partner ever complain that I act like I am better than them (and deep down I think it’s true)?
•Do I often act irritable or are you hyper-sensitive in your thoughts and actions with them?
•Do I keep bringing up things from the past — things they’ve already asked forgiveness for? (This can result in their feeling that they’ll never be able to escape their past actions with you no matter what they do.)
•Am I living a trustworthy life so my spouse doesn’t need to be concerned that I will violate their trust in me? And do I find ways to show them my trustworthiness? Do I participate in anything that Christ would see as “deeds of darkness” which could bring unhealthiness into my marital partnership? (See: Ephesians 5:11)
•Do I try to be a peacemaker in my home? (See: Ephesians 4:3; Romans 12:18)
•Do I protect my spouse’s feelings and their dignity, in how I speak and interact with them, both when I am alone and when I’m with others? Do I say things about my spouse to others that could hurt their feelings and integrity?(See: 1 Corinthians 13:7)
•Have I become such a serious person that I rarely laugh or try to have fun times in our relationship – times like we used to have before we married?
•Do I make an effort to show that I value being married to them above anyone else?
•Am I a negative person to live with? Do I need to make more of an effort to be more positive in how I interact with my spouse so I don’t drag down their spirits also?
•Do I look for ways to compliment and encourage my spouse when I am alone as well as when I’m with others?
•Am I gracious to my spouse so that when they make mistakes they still feel accepted and loved by me?
•Do I actively participate in making me marriage a better one? Do I show by my actions as well as by my words that I am in partnership with them?

Some of these questions are very difficult because my heart is convicted and I see that being married to me isn’t always a bed of sweet smelling roses. I have a lot of areas where I know that I need to treat my husband better.

There are days it seems too difficult. I must remember that the Lord walks with me and strengthens me. Why is it so hard anyway? It would be nice if I could blame my husband. But I can’t, not because he is perfect, but because I recognize that at all times my actions and attitudes are to bring glory to God regardless of how others might treat me.

If my husband isn’t treating me the way he should it doesn’t give me the right to treat him in a bad way. Yes, that can be hard. I battle my flesh that says I want to give it right back to him. But God’s Spirit is at work in me and I truly desire to be the wife God is creating me to be.
So those times I fail, I  MUST go to my husband to ask for his forgiveness…
 
You might also enjoy

Learning to Love in Marriage

Who is my husband anyway?

Marriage is a covenant

In Covenant we are one

How should I treat my Husband?

What if He Doesn't Deserve My Respect?

At the Foot of the Cross

I have come to the cross Lord Jesus so many times. Humbled. Broken.

For confession. Cleansing. Healing.

It's not a beautiful cross, ragged and worn.

The comes because You died here. You died for me.

So that I might be free.

Jesus I often find myself here looking at the cross, not wanting to forgot the sacrifice you gave so that I could live.

But as I sit at the foot of the cross I often forget to look beyond to the grave.

You know longer hand on the cross. In your death you took upon my sin, pain, suffering and shame. Then three days later you came out of the grave!

You were victorious over death! Victorious over sin! My sin is gone! I am free!

Jesus you set me free!

So while I need to remember the cross and Your sacrifice there I must also remember to look to the grave.

Because of You I can live in victory over sin and death.

Oh Lord Jesus help me to battle the enemy that would love to see me stay in bondage to sin. Help me to take captive every thought and expose the lies. Show me those areas that I am still in bondage to, those lies I still believe. Strip away all that is not from you. My desire is to be soft clay, molded into the image you created for me. Do with me Jesus as you will...

Do We Really Surrender it All?

In worship today we sang I Surrender All and before I even got to the first word I wondered,

“Do I really surrender it all?

Do I freely give Him everything? Do I trust Him with my daily provisions? My health? My life?

Do I surrender to Him and bow at His feet in worship as He leads me into the desert or down into a dark valley?

Do I surrender to Him and live humbly before Him trusting that He knows my every need?

Do I surrender to His will when my life seems bereft of friends, family or love? Do I surrender to His will as He leads me to the shadows of death?”

This particular song has always caused me to pause and ask how am I in the area of surrendering my life. I mean, how can I stand and sing “I surrender all” and not ask the question, “DO I surrender it all?”

It was the last song sung before the sermon and I must admit my heart missed much of what was spoken. (good thing I can go on line and listen again!)

You see, God had my attention and He needed to speak to me.  To my heart. For a year and a half I have been in a place of waiting. I don’t understand what God might be preparing me for during this time. I DO KNOW what He has been breaking my heart over. (another blog for another day)

I have often likened this time as a desert place, a place of isolation. I do feel deprived of human connections, but I know God is with me. I feel alone, not because I am without friends or those who love me. But because I hear God speaking a message to my heart that others don’t understand or want to hear. ( At least it seems that way) I don’t blame them – I am not sure I fully understand.

So I stood there this morning asking, “Sharon, do you surrender all of your life?  Material wealth? Comfort? Health? Grandchildren? Sisters? Family? Friends? All your relationships? Will you surrender ALL to me?”

“If I asked you to give it all to me would you willingly surrender it?”

It’s a hard question. My immediate response is of course I would! It’s all to you I owe, so why wouldn’t I give it to you freely! But in the back of my mind I heard the question “Do you live a life that is surrendered?”

Oh Jesus all I can do it cry out to you! I want to live a life that is totally surrendered to You and Your will! I want to be able to say that I would freely give up all I have or desire and follow wherever You go.

And most days it is the cry of my heart, it does “seem” easy, but not today. Today I was struggling…

But God would not leave me to struggle there. He ended our time of worship today with Lead me to the Cross.

The cross where His blood was spilled…where everything I once held dear, everything I do hold dear…I must now count as lost.

As the song played I prayed…

Lord, Lead me to the cross where Your love poured out, bring me to my knees. Lord I lay ME down. Rid me of MYSELF, I belong to You…

Lord, Lead me to the cross… Lead me to Your Heart and help me to live a life that surrenders it ALL.

At His Feet

I started the month in prayer.
     I had moments of being so lost and confused.
         I wondered if God was even listening. 
             Would He answer?
                  I began  praying  
                      fasting
                         searching
                            seeking
                            crying out
                          listening.
                      I heard only silence. And then came…
                  distractions
                discouragement
            doubt
        confusion.   
 God reminded me to seek Him with my whole heart.  
      He was to have all of me.
          Self had gotten in the way.
              Idols in my heart.
                  Sin hidden.
                       Then came…
                            heartache
                                mourning
                                 brokenness
                            surrender
                       forgiveness
                 Jesus.
           I began the month in prayer.                               
      I end the month at His feet.
 This is where I want to stay…..   

Called to be a Servant

While beginning my study in Philippians I became fascinated by the way Paul describes himself. He calls himself a bond-servant to Christ. In the Greek bond-servant is Doulos and means a slave or one devoted to another to the disregard of one’s own interest. I began to wonder if any of the other followers of Christ considered themselves bond servants. In my search God began to speak to my heart. Here is what I found.

Paul refers to himself as a bond –servant of Christ many times. (Rom 1:1; Gal 1:10; Phil 1:1; Titus 1:1; Rev 1:1) In the book of James he also calls himself a bond-servant (1:1) along with Peter (2 Peter 1:1) and Jude (1:1). In Revelations 15:3 Paul refers to Moses as “the bond-servant of God”. And in Phil 2:7 Christ is said to have taken on “the form of a bond – servant”.

Its interesting that the slaves would choose to become bondservant. Which means they would remain a servant, but this time it is forever. In other words, he is released from bondage by his lord, but for love of his lord, he gives up his freedom to become a servant of his master all the days of his life. This servant is no longer a slave, but definitely not a hired, but a willing bondservant, like Paul and the other New Testament Apostles. In the Old Testament these bondservants often became heirs in families who had no heir. So in some ways they became like sons.

What does this say to us? The servant was willing to give up his freedom out of love for his master. That was a decision based not on fear, not on intellectual assent, but upon the condition and attitude of his heart. This seems to be the message that the Father conveys in this principle and that tells me that God isn't focused primarily on what my hands do as much as what is in my heart to do. In other words, he may have my hands and even my mind, but if He doesn't have my heart, then He doesn't have me. Many ‘serve’ God, but not really, because they are not doing His Will or His desire, but their own with a religious covering they have made for themselves. It is what they choose to do for God and not what He has asked them do in, as a servant of His master.

So, I have to ask myself:
Am I a servant?
Am I a servant of my fellow Christians?
Am I a bondservant of Christ?
Am I prepared to say, “I’ll do whatever where-ever whenever you want me to, Lord”?
Am I prepared to hand over my will to the Lord and let Him take care of me?
Am I prepared to obey my Lord regardless of what He asks?
Am I willing to trust the Lord - no matter what happens?

Remaining in the Vine....

Today as I was reading John 15:1-11 I realized that I need to remain in Jesus, the vine, for I, the branch, can not bear fruit without the vine. Yet so often I try to bear my own fruit. So often I try to do my own thing, control my own circumstances. Everytime I do it fails. I fall flat on my face.

When I do remain in Christ and allow Him to bear fruit He produces the fruit of JOY. In verse 11 Jesus says, "My joy may be in you, and that your joy may be made full."
Jesus says His JOY may be in me
And that my JOY may be made full
This is the fruit that is produces when I ABIDE in Him

So I must remain in Christ. Remain in the Word. Remain absorbed in His love.

When I remain in Christ there will be fruit. That fruit is JOY. I need to remember that without remaining in Christ I can not produce any kind of fruit. For it is NOT me who can produce anything at all but rotten fruit, only Christ can produce good fruit. I am the branch, Jesus is the vine, my life, my fruit and all that is good comes from the vine who gets life from the vinedresser, God.

Jesus thank you for this wonderful reminder today of how much I need you. You are my life source. Without you I would wither up and become a dry branch. Jesus help me to remain in You, to produce the fruit that you have planned in my life. I pray that your joy would remain in me and fill me up to overflowing. Amen.