Living as Light

“for you were formerly darkness, but now you are Light in the Lord ; walk as children of Light (for the fruit of the Light consists in all goodness and righteousness and truth), trying to learn what is pleasing to the Lord.” Eph 5:8-9

Do you live in such a way that exposes the darkness around you? Does the life you live expose sin?  Are your thoughts and actions too often that of the dark?

I love to make lists. It makes life easier to handle. It helps me see clearer. It’s no different in the word of God. I like to list things, not in a dogmatic, legalistic way, but in a way that helps me consider how I am living. It helps me see those area’s I need to work on. It helps me to understand.

Ephesians Chapter 5:1-21 is one of those passages I like to look at to see how I am doing in my spiritual walk. This passage helps me to discern the differences of one who lives in the Light compared to the one who lives in darkness.

A person who lives in the Light of Jesus Christ will be imitators of God. They will walk in love.  Their actions will show goodness, righteousness and truth. They will want to know what pleases the Lord. They will expose the darkness by the life they live.

A person of Light will be wise. They will make the most of there time. They will understand  the Lord’s will. They will not be drunk with wine, but be filled with the Spirit. Their heart will be filled with hymns, songs and singing for the Lord. They will always give thanks to God for all things.

Children of the Light (those who are follower’s of Christ) will not walk in darkness. They will not do the things those in the darkness do. Those in darkness are immoral, impure, and greedy. Their speech is filthy and they tell dirty jokes. Their words are empty and filled with lies. They are unwise and disobedient.

Those living in darkness will face the wrath of God. Those living in the Light will be a fragrant aroma just as Christ was to the Father when He gave Himself up for us as an offering and sacrifice.

Light and darkness. Black and white. There is no gray in the above. We are told to walk as children of the Light. We are not to even speak of those things of the darkness.

We want there to be gray in the above but there isn’t, although there is grace…

God’s grace living through us as Children of the Light.

In my own heart there are too many times I see darkness. I forget that I have The Light of Christ in me which overpowers all the dark. This day I pray that my Lord will help me walk in the Light. A Light that others see and in which darkness must flee.

To Rest in His Love

I pray that from his glorious, unlimited resources he will give you mighty inner strength through his Holy Spirit. And I pray that Christ will be more and more at home in your hearts as you trust in him. May your roots go down deep into the soil of God's marvelous love. And may you have the power to understand, as all God's people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love really is. May you experience the love of Christ, though it is so great you will never fully understand it. Then you will be filled with the fullness of life and power that comes from God. (Eph 3:16-19, NLT)

I said to a friend yesterday that “I think it’s finally sinking in, that the gospel is truly free. (At least free to me, the cost to God was great.) The problem is now I don’t know what to DO.” She said to me, very slowly, “N O T H I N G!!! Just rest in the knowledge that Christ did it all for you.”

I laughed. I know this truth, I have known it and yet it’s so hard for me to truly believe I am loved and there is nothing I have to do. I can not gain anymore love or lose His love. All the love God has he gives to me.

What I am speaking of is unconditional love. A love that is freely given because the person chooses to give it, not because I’ve done anything to deserve it. It’s a hard concept for me to live out. Even in the moments I think I get it somewhere in the back of my mind I think “so what does this person want from me?” Or “is this the ‘last straw’ and they are going to leave me?”

In the first 19 years of my life I knew very little of unconditional love. Looking back I know there was love, but at times it mostly felt like I needed to DO something in order to be loved. This feeling isn’t uncommon, especially in young girls who have been abused. Often abusers will say to you “if you love me you’ll….” and if they are people in your life that should love unconditionally then in the mind of a child it gets confusing.

Unfortunately this is one of those areas that even when healing has come and forgiveness given it can be a deep fear. A fear that says, “if you do not perform you will lose my love.” This fear is carried into my relationship with God. I know truth, I read it in His word to me. God can not lie. He says He loves me. He sent His Son to die because of His great love. I know this and yet too often I feel I must do something to gain His love and His approval.

Unconditional love. What is it? What does is look like? God, this amazing God who loves me gave me an amazing husband and children who love unconditionally. It’s taken a long time to get to the point that I can just accept it. To rest in the knowledge that I am truly, and deeply loved by them and always will be no matter what my attitude might be on any given day. :)But it’s not just family. God has also given me some dear sisters in the Lord who choose to love me deeply – no matter what.

What I have seen through the years is that when you KNOW you are deeply loved you willingly serve them. You want to DO for them. You want to make them happy.

This is where I need to be with God. Doing/serving out of the knowledge that I am loved, not doing in order to be loved.

I do believe it, at least in my head and I will choose to walk in it whether I FEEL it or not, knowing that in obedience the feelings will come.

WAIT! is that me trying to DO something?

Oh Father help this beloved daughter of Yours get it and live it out in her daily life! Help me to just rest in the knowledge of Your great love. Forgive me for my lack of faith and trust in Your love. Forgive me for the fear that still rises up in me that says I might lose Your love. With a love that never fail Father continue to draw me to Yourself. Amen

Long ago the LORD said to Israel: "I have loved you, my people, with an everlasting love. With unfailing love I have drawn you to myself. (Jeremiah 31:3 NLT)

30 Days of Blessings: The Cross

Today I feel very bit of the words from Jeremiah 17:9 “the heart is more deceitful than all else and is desperately sick, who can understand it?”

There are moments I can feel overwhelmed by the sinfulness that my flesh can desire. Sin and the flesh rises up strong demanding it’s own way. I cry out to God, it’s not who I want to be! I want to be a follower after YOUR heart, YOUR ways, Your truth.

Oh that which I desire I do not do! And that very thing I do not want to do is what I do!! O wretched woman that I am!! What possible hope is there? How can I even think I can change and be obedient to my God?

Thanks be to GOD who provided a way through Jesus Christ!! (Romans 7:19-25)

The cross. A thing of torment, pain and suffering becomes beautiful because my Jesus carried it and was nailed upon it for my sin. He died in my place, was raised in three day so that I might be resurrected with Him on the last day, living forever with Him.

And because of the cross …

Ephesians 2:1-6
Once you were dead, doomed forever because of your many sins. You used to live just like the rest of the world, full of sin, obeying Satan, the mighty prince of the power of the air. He is the spirit at work in the hearts of those who refuse to obey God. All of us used to live that way, following the passions and desires of our evil nature. We were born with an evil nature, and we were under God's anger just like everyone else. But God is so rich in mercy, and he loved us so very much, that even while we were dead because of our sins, he gave us life when he raised Christ from the dead. (It is only by God's special favor that you have been saved!) For he raised us from the dead along with Christ, and we are seated with him in the heavenly realms -- all because we are one with Christ Jesus. NLT

While I was unlovely and sick in my sinfulness God called me BELOVED!

Romans 9:25
As He says also in Hosea,
“I will call those who were not my people, ‘My people,’
and her who was not Beloved, ‘Beloved.’”
And then this song kept playing in my head.

Because of the cross God calls me beloved!

 

Once Again by Matt Redman
Jesus Christ, I think upon Your sacrifice
You became nothing
Poured out to death
Many times, I've wondered at your gift of life
I'm in that place once again
I'm in that place once again
And once again I look upon the cross where You died
I'm humbled by Your mercy and I'm broken inside
Once again I thank You,
Once again I pour out my life
Now You are exalted to the highest place
King of the Heavens, where one day I'll bow
But for now, I'll marvel at Your saving grace
I'm full of praise once again
Oh I'm full of praise once again
And once again I look upon the cross where You died
I'm humbled by Your mercy and I'm broken inside
Once again I thank You
Once again I pour out my life
Thank you for the cross
Thank you for the cross
Thank you for the cross, my friend
And once again I look upon the cross where You died
I'm humbled by Your mercy and I'm broken inside
Once again I thank You
Once again I pour out my life

Jesus I am humbled and broken and I thank you for bringing me to this place, again. You have shown me just how unlovely I was and am- apart from you. You have reminded me that even in that unlovely place, even though my heart is vile and wicked you came to earth to die for me. I am your BELOVED (agapao-to love, finding ones joy in.)

I AM YOUR BELOVED! Thank Jesus, thank your for the cross my friend.

I am a GREAT sinner
I have a GREAT SAVIOR

What a blessing!!

When I am Weak, He is Strong

Have you ever had those days when you are just tired? Tired of fighting the flesh? Tired of trying to be who you are suppose to be? Tired of fighting the lies of the enemy? Tired of fighting wrong emotions and feelings?

It’s where I have been for a couple days now. My emotions have been all over the place. Sometimes it feels like my feelings, thoughts and life are a tangled mess.

I try as hard as I can but just can’t seem to untangle the mess of emotions. It’s exhausting trying to sort out what I am suppose to feel, what is normal, and what is not.

I am suppose to be a big girl and have all this figured out. Right? Or is that another lie? Am I suppose to ask for help? But who do I ask? Who would understand? Who would really be available to sit and listen? And NOT think I was totally losing it! Who could I talk to that would know it’s just a moment. Who would give me grace and allow me a few minutes to talk out loud and then I’ll be fine? Because most of the time I just need to talk out loud.

Currently, the lies in my head say I have no one. No one that is but Jesus. (I do KNOW deep in my heart that this is another lie. Our emotions often DO lie to us!) But still I wonder, shouldn’t Jesus be enough? I mean, He IS enough. He IS all I need. He’s the only one I am suppose to really need. Right?

If that is true then why does this place feel like a place of such loneliness? Is this yet another lie? Another attempt of the enemy to try and wedge discontent between me and my God? To create a distance between me and those God has placed in my life to journey with?

It all makes me tired and it’s exhausting….and I just want to go home. To my Father. I am tired of my enemy's constant knocking on the door of my mind. Seriously, I believe my mind is the enemy's most powerful weapon against me.

Then it hits me…

The selfishness of the flesh that cries out to be noticed, to be fed. Yes I am weary of the constant onslaught of what seems like the constant battles of my mind. Wrong thinking. Emotions that want to be given into. Emotions that cry out to be felt. But they are lies that FEEL like truth.

I am weary because for this moment I have forgotten. I have forgotten truth. The truth that I know, believe and trust in.

The truth is I do not fight alone.

I have forgotten to be diligent about putting on the armor of God so that I can fight against the powers of this dark world. The evil forces of this world do not let up, they desire to destroy me. 

 I have forgotten that I need to stand firm with the belt of truth buckled tightly around my waist. Never should I be without it. 

I have forgotten that I am to take my shield of faith up daily against the flaming arrows of the evil one. 

I have forgotten that I do not fight alone but with the Lord and in His mighty power. 

I have forgotten that when I am weak HE IS strong. I can run to Him and find rest, even in the midst of my struggles.

Paul reminds the Ephesians in chapter 6 that they are in a battle. They are to be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. He tells them that in order to take a stand against the devils schemes they need the armor of God. They need to stand firm, be alert, and always praying.

I need the armor of God. I need to pray. I need to stand strong in His mighty power.

And then in Paul’s final sentences he tells the Ephesians that he is going to send Tychicus so that they might be encouraged. Don’t you love it?

Paul reminds them that yes, they ARE to stand firm, they ARE to wear the armor of God, they ARE to be alert and pray BUT he knows they also need the encouragement of others.

We need our brothers and sisters who can come along and encourage us when we become battle weary. To strengthen us and pray with and for us.

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. 2 Cor 12:9-10

Oh precious Father, thank you for these words of reminder. Thank you for helping me through this moment. Father forgive me for my forgetfulness and selfishness. Help me to lean on You and allow You to bring other’s into my life to encourage me. Help me to remember I don’t always have to be strong, have it all together or be perfect. For in my weaknesses You can show Your strength, Your power and Your grace.