In my mind the questioned formed. It required a response. It wouldn’t be ignored.
He wouldn’t be ignored.
Is there something I have failed to obey? Has God directed me to a place that I have refused to go? Has He asked me to do something that I have not done?
This morning our pastor shared that “unless you obey the last thing God told you to do God will not give you the next step. Those who do big things for God’s kingdom must learn to obey Him at all times.”
For about 19 months I have felt like I have no real purpose. Nothing “to do” for God. Real or imagined I have felt as if God has stopped speaking to me. I’ve been stuck, struggling to try to figure out what God wants me to do. What is His purpose, His plan? I’ve heard nothing.
It’s been a hard place, but even so God has given me times of sweet manna. Women who have come to me and shared how much I have ministered to them, how much this blog ministers to them. God has also encouraged and strengthened me through His words as I have studied.
But there must be more…
More of me that He requires. A greater obedience to His call to “Love God and Love Others” a thought that He has had on my mind for some time now.
I don’t know. I have no answers. All I know for sure is that He is God, there is no other. I KNOW He has not and will not ever leave me or forsake me. Regardless of what my circumstance are or my emotions I can stand firm knowing His word is true and I can trust in His promises.
So again I must ask myself the question. Is there something God has asked me to do and I have failed to be obedient? Is God not allowing me to take the next step until I obey it?
I can not honestly answer. I don’t know if there an area of disobedience. But I am willing to ask God to show me. I am willing to ask Him to help me to be obedient at all times, in all things.
And while I am asking I want to ask God to help me learn total dependence on Him. For if God is going to use me, and there is no real doubt that He isn’t, I must learn that whatever He calls me to do I will not be able to do it apart from Him. I will need to learn complete and total dependence on Him for everything. I must learn to die to what I want or what I think needs to be done. I must die so that He can live.
I don’t want to think I have disobeyed in any area, but I won’t know until I ask God. So this is my prayer…
Dear Lord, My desire is to live a life of obedience and be in the center of Your will for my life. Reveal to me any disobedience in my life and in my heart. Show me those areas in my life I still have not surrendered completely to you so that You might live free through my life.
How about you? Will you join me in praying to God that He might reveal those areas that you have yet to obey Him completely?