Being An Only Child

When my boys were younger they loved to crawl up into my lap and cuddle. Those were such precious times. We would read books; talk about what ever they were thinking regardless how silly or serious, we would laugh, or sometimes just sit in silence enjoying the closeness. I imagine to a child it gave the sense of safety, love, security. To a mother it brought such joy to know how her child desired those intimate moments that would soon pass.

I remember during one of those moments my son looking at me and saying “Mommy I wish I was an only child cause then I wouldn’t have to share you.” How precious to my heart, the love of a child. We talked about how my love was big enough for both my boys. That each of them had as much of my love as the other. Neither of them had any more or any less of my love than the other. It seemed to satisfy him, even though I’m sure he didn’t fully understand at that moment in time.

I had totally forgotten that particular conversation until recently it was brought to my mind. I know there are many that might have looked at that as the selfishness of a child wanting his mother to himself. I did not see it as a seed of selfishness but as a desire for that child to know he was absolutely loved. We often feel the same. We want to know that we are absolutely loved.

There are times in my life that I have wanted to be the only child, the only friend, the only person in my husband’s life desiring all his attention. I believe they are normal emotions, and feelings we all experience. These emotions only turn wrong when our desires turn to needs and our needs turn to “I must have it”. We all have those moments in our life when we want that feeling of safety, and unconditional love with at least one other person. It’s not a sign of weakness, or sin. It is a normal emotion. These people in our lives will not always be available, they will be busy, and they will fail us. But there is One who never will.

As I thought through this even more I realized how precious those moments must be for God when we want to crawl up into His lap and be His “only child”. How that must please Him. How He must long for those moments with us, just as I loved those moments with my own children. I miss those moments of tenderness with my children just as God must miss those moments of intimacy with us when we forget Him or feel we don’t need Him.

Unlike my children who have grown and no longer need that “cuddle” time, I have not out grown my need for intimate times with my Father. He longs to spend that time with me, to take me in His arms. For that moment it is just Him and me. For that moment I am His only child. I am the apple of His eye.

When was the last time you “cuddled” with God and allowed Him to love on you as if you were His only child?

Keep me as the apple of the eye; Hide me in the shadow of Your wings. Ps 17:8
Jerusalem, Jerusalem, who kills the prophets and stones those who are sent to her! How often I wanted to gather your children together, the way a hen gathers her chicks under her wings, and you were unwilling. Matt 23:37