An Unusual Mentoring Relationship?



Well this is my first week in joining the Internet cafe meme, but I've often thought about it. Though it was time to stop thinking and start writing. So here is my answer to this weeks question


THE QUESTION:

Do you have a godly (woman) mentor in your life? If so, describe your relationship with her… If you don’t have a mentor, would you like one and what would you hope to gain from the relationship?



I remember shortly after having my second child and having so many questions with no where to go for answers. So I began to pray for a mentor. I had several godly women in my life, but not a spiritual mother or mentor.

As a young woman desiring to know God I had questions that normally I might have gone to my mother for insight and wisdom, but that was not possible. So I read books about parenting, marriage, being godly etc... And with every book I read I thought I had the answer. When that didn't seem to work I would find another book. I read some excellent authors and I soon learned the authors to stay away from. It became evident in my life that there was so much I did not know and it seemed no older woman to ask. I felt as if I learned everything late or the hard way. I longed to have a mentor. I thought she would give me the answers.

So I began to pray, to weep before God for a spiritual mother. Around that same time I began to do the Kay Arthur Lord series on my own. I did them all and learned so much about God, about what He wanted from me. Doing those studies caused a burning to know more, to understand more about God. Miss Kay taught me to go to God's word for answers. She taught me how to study better than I had before. I began to see then that in many ways she was mentoring me in the area of studying God's Word. For that I was so thankful, I could see then that only God had the answers and I needed to seek Him and His word. But my heart still longed for a spiritual mother. Would God answer?

About six years ago I got the opportunity to go to NYC to see Kay Arthur in person. I had just begun a new church and didn't know anyone, but I wanted to go, so I invited a friend to go with me. I sat there in the audience and listened to this woman share her testimony and love for God. She shared her hunger for His word, her passion to study, to dig deeper into the heart of God. I sat there in tears praying "God bring me a woman like her" "a spiritual mother who may not know all the answers or has done everything right but loves God's word." I wanted to know the Word of God the way she did." I wanted to know the God she knew and I wanted God to love me the way He seemed to love her."

Shortly after that conference I stopped praying for a mentor. I had prayed for 10+ years and assumed at this point that for whatever reason God did not mean for me to have a flesh and blood spiritual mother. So I went on to read other women and learn from them. Godly women who would challenge me in my growth and healing process. I began to read and study God's Word.

I did a Bible Study called "Beloved of God" that spoke so deeply to my heart that it began crumble my walls of protection. I learned that God loves me. He calls me His Beloved, I am precious, I am important to Him, and He wants an intimate, personal relationship with ME! Just like Miss Kay had with God! Could it be possible?

This study was written by a woman in our church and I began to watch her from a distance. I did other studies she led and wrote. I would talk with her and ask her questions. She was very encouraging to me, and it was through her and others that I found myself in Women's Ministry. I began to look at her as a mentor of sort for ministry. Our relationship existed that way for several yrs.

Just this past year or so, we began to get closer. We are both very busy women so we don't often get to be together, but we are always available by email and phone. It wasn't until just this week that I realized that she was God's answer to that prayer I had prayed sitting at the Kay Arthur conference. She is my spiritual mother/sister/friend. She speaks truth to me and most importantly she will always send me to God and His word. She desires me to seek God and not her for answers. She helps me understand, grow and love God deeply.

What I find most interesting is if you asked her about me? She would say the same thing. That I mother her at times, am a sister and friend. So I don't know if it's a typical mentoring relationship in that one is the 'older' and one the 'younger' I think we take turns mothering. There is a sense of true Christian sisterhood, a bond made through Christ and our mutual love for our Father in heaven that draws us to each other.

Oh and just a side note: As I sat in that conference praying for a spiritual mother like Miss Kay God answered me with someone who I truly would liken to her and she was at that same conference. And my mentor has been mentored by Miss Kay and they are personal friends. I don't say that to make much of it but it didn't hit me until just yesterday that not only did God answer that prayer, but He answered it in a very personal way. My friend would disagree with me, likening her to Miss Kay, but that just makes me admire her even more.

9 comments:

  1. Awesome story. I love Kay Arthur, too. I'm slowly working through her study on the book of John... I've been giving these colored pencils a real work out! Thanks for sharing... I'm blessed by your story and hopeful that at some point, should He choose to do so, God will send a spiritual mom into my life. God bless you, Sharon.

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  2. I think that those times we "didn't have anyone" were those times that God just wanted to draw us to Himself and He wanted to be our only teacher...don't you? As I look back over the years and see the times there didn't seem to be an older woman around, I wonder if I had had someone during those times...if I might have started focusing on the older woman rather than on God! I am still tempted to do that now, but now as often.

    I am so thankful that He has provided for you in His timing. Never late. Always on time!

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  3. Gina I think you are so right. God wants us to go to Him, rely on Him and if we always had a mentor to look to we all would be less likely to look to God.

    I am thankful that God has allowed me this relationship during this season of me life and with a woman who consistently points me to God and the Word.

    My encouragement to anyone who doesn't have a mentor but desires one would be to pray and while you wait for God's perfect timing seek HIS face - get into HIS Word - learn to rely upon HIM alone.

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  4. So I don't know if it's a typical mentoring relationship in that one is the 'older' and one the 'younger' I think we take turns mothering.

    This is so true. I used to think I was so needy and just took from my relationship with Lori (mentor), which caused me to think I had absolutely nothing to offer. It was't the case. I was there for her and her family countless times when she needed me. We do take turns mothering each other. That's what relationships are all about.

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  5. This truly shows that God knows the perfect time to answer our prayers. Glad to hear you found your mentor and that she found you.

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  6. Thank you Sharon...for leading us thru your journey and prayer not being answered til you noticed perhaps it was being answered, even through your reading of Kay Arthur's Lord series, etc. I truly feel that the end of the 80s, it was this great author, Kay Arthur, that blessed me and also taught me much along with Stormie Omartian. How awesome is God to send you a woman like her, in Women's Ministry and even through a Beloved Bible Study. Your post is inspiring! God bless you and mentor

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  7. Thank you Sharon...for leading us thru your journey and prayer not being answered til you noticed perhaps it was being answered, even through your reading of Kay Arthur's Lord series, etc. I truly feel that the end of the 80s, it was this great author, Kay Arthur, that blessed me and also taught me much along with Stormie Omartian. How awesome is God to send you a woman like her, in Women's Ministry and even through a Beloved Bible Study. Your post is inspiring! God bless you and mentor

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  8. what an awesome story. i find the best mentoring relationships are where both people are mentored and benefiting from the partnership. thanks for sharing.

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  9. Hi Sharon-
    My first reading your blog - found it from Mel's world blog and clicked on yours because I liked the name (silly). I kept on reading...I am actually a huge fan of Kay Arthur. Like you, I have done all the 'Lord Series' and I never thought of her in terms of a mentor but come to think of it she has been one.

    I got to see her yesterday in New York. Were you in NYC last December at Calvary Baptist Church? Just wondering - I was there as well. I have always hoped to find a mentor but haven't found one yet. Still hoping. And I think you are so right about God being the One to look up to.

    I will stop by in the future to read some reflections.

    Myriam

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