Honestly-my flesh wants to hurt back, to defend myself against false perceptions. I want to find every other person that has been influenced and help them to see the real me...to know my heart.
But God speaks to my heart...
humility!
Draw near to ME!
My readings this morning in 1 Samuel spoke to my heart...
David had the opportunity to kill Saul, but instead spares his life. Listen to what David says in Ch 24:5-12 " The Lord forbid that I should do such a thing to my master...or lift my hand against him; for he is the anointed...I have not wronged you, but you are hunting me down to take my life...may the Lord avenge the wrongs you have done to me, but my hand will not touch you." That took humility on the part of David. He understood God's rightful place to sit upon the throne!
My desire to hurt back comes from a prideful heart. I want to be judge! I want to be on the throne! Oh God FORGIVE me! My heart is grieved to think that even for a moment I might think that I know better than you! I willingly submit to your rightful place over me and those who conspire against me. Father I willingly lay down my prideful heart.
Romans 12:17-19 "Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody.If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: "It is mine to avenge; says the Lord"
Luke 6:35 "But love your enemies, do good to them..."
Over and over we are reminded to 'Love our neighbors'.In Romans 15:2 we are also told that "Each of us should please his neighbor for his good, to build him up."
I am reminded that I am to show love and forgiveness just as Christ has shown it for me. 1 John 4:21 says "And this commandment we have from Him, that the one who loves God should love his brother also."
Has someone hurt you today? Have they spoken against you? God calls us to walk in humility. Phil 2:3 "Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves;" and Col 3:12 "...put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.:"
Oh Father so often I crawl upon the throne and want to be judge a jury ...forgive me Father! You alone are worthy to rule over my life. Forgive me for thinking so highly of myself.
at the foot of the cross.
It is there that I realize
the sinfulness of my heart.
It is there I realize
why you had to die.
It is there,
bowed before the cross,
that I realize that YOU alone are worthy
to sit upon the throne!
Sharon, Just this morning at a mini staff retreat we discussed something similar to what you mentioned in your post. Psalms 7 was brought up. Just yesterday I posted Psalms 42 for something I was going through. Again the Psalms is a balm to our wound!
ReplyDeletesomeone told me once that there is a little bit of truth in everything that is said. Sometimes we just don't realize how we come across to others. It is so hard when we are so eager to do or say something, and then it is taken wrong! At times my zeal has "blown people away"...and not in a good way! I am learning to control the zeal for the sake of others. It can be hard! I pray you will be able to interact with these who have hurt you in humility, and remember that sometimes people just don't understand our hearts. It's a good time for self evaluation.
ReplyDeleteYou are so right about pride. It can rear it's ugly face so quickly and where you least expect it. I have been amazed in my own life how often it pops up.
ReplyDeletei'm sorry you're feeling hurt. most of us in ministry can relate to that. it comes with the territory. it sounds like your head and your heart are in the right place. i'm sure, like you said, God will use it all for good.
ReplyDeleteI am sitting here listening to the song you posted in the last post while thinking, pondering, stirring on the thoughts that you wrote today.
ReplyDeleteI unfortunately know what it is like to have mean and hurtful things said about me, to me, and they have been by people that I did ministry with. I want to scream and shout against the accusers, but God has a hold of my tongue and as much as I (key phrase is I) want to shout out about the injustices HE is holding me back saying, "Sweet Melissa, this is not a surprise to me. Have faith that I have everything under control."
He is the only one who can be judge to them, not I.
Great "reflective thoughts" Sharon...absolutely wonderful!
I hate that your precious spirit has been wounded but being in the ministry comes with it it's blessings and it's heartache. As we minister and grow in the Lord and move into the place that God called us to be He will teach us to toughen up the exterior while He softens our hearts........ It is tough lessons that teach us that we are not wrestling against flesh and blood, but against the powers that wants us stopped...... God changes our eyesight and we begin to look at things and people with different eyes and thus our hearts are softened........ With each task that the Father asks us to do comes with it its lessons of humility and the blessings.... I think you have shown that beautiful humble heart before the Lord.......
ReplyDeletehugsx0x0x0x0
Sharon,
ReplyDeleteRemember God's love and thoughts about you are the only thing that truely matters. Satan on the other hand doesn't want to see your ministry grow. The women ministry is growing and just lunched W2W. So he will try to bring you down. Remember to give it God to handle and give Him the praise and glory.
I'm praying for you.
This was just what my heart needed today,I'm glad you shared with us.
ReplyDeleteWonderful post!! Straight from your heart. I to being in Ministry get slandered, and hurt. I have learned to keep my armor on and GUARD my heart. I will change what our Lord tells me to if needed, and forgive. I deal with bikers and they can be cruel and hard at times, you learn to toughen up:) Bless you my dear.
ReplyDeleteSharon,
ReplyDeleteThose very scriptures were brought up in our women's Bible study yesterday. I need a whole lot of humility and hate the lessons to get me to that point. Boy they smart.
Thank you for these words today. Maybe I should memorize Philippians 2:3 for myself. Definitely a nugget from God's Word that I need to know by heart.
In Him, Joanne
*Hugs* I'm so sorry to hear that had happen and it is a blessing how you use that to turn to the Lord and seek His counsel.
ReplyDeleteMen of flesh don't realize sometimes that sometimes the sharpest weapon is our tongue and that if we are to speak, to speak with love so not to cause another to stumble and to speak wisely so we are not critical.
*HUGS* God is awesome and can lift you above all that...I'm just so sorry to though that you had that to deal with.