"Welcome, Prince," said Aslan. "Do you feel yourself sufficient to take up the Kingship of Narnia?"
" I-I don't think I do, Sir," said Caspian. "I'm only a kid."
"Good," said Aslan. "If you had felt yourself sufficient, it would have been proof that you were not."
There are so many times that I feel inadequate to be in ministry. To lead anyone anywhere seems a daunting task and I am not worthy to fulfill. I know God often chooses the weak, the broken, inexperienced and uneducated, I know because He has called me. But often I wonder why?
I struggle with discouragement much of the time. I have so many heart issues that God continually must bring to the surface, so I can see them and confess. Sometimes I wonder if I make a difference at all in the life of anyone. I do know the difference being in ministry has made in my life-it has been life changing and continues to be so. God continually uses ministry/leadership as a refining tool in my own heart.
When I am asked the question "do you feel qualified?" my only answer is "no, I don't think so, I am only a sinner saved by Grace, trying to become a woman after God's heart." There is so much I do not know. There is much I do not understand. I have many areas that God is requiring me to surrender. What I do know is that if God has called me, then He will have to do the work through me. I am not able to lead anyone anywhere in my own strength or because of anything I have done. I lead because of the Holy Spirit's leading in my life. I lead because I am a sinner, saved by grace, being obedient to God's call on my life.
I often think back to what Aslan said to Prince Caspian and wonder "maybe it's because I don't "feel" sufficient that God does use me." God uses me inspite of whether I feel qualified.