Why am I hiding?

The last few days I have been wondering why do we as women (and even men) hide from one another. I realize we've been hiding since Eve tasted the forbidden fruit. And maybe we will always revert back to hiding. But didn't Christ come to set us free from guilt and shame, which is so often the source of why we hide? We hide because we are afraid. We have been wounded by others. People have sinned against us and we have sinned as well. We think that if we hide we will be safe, that somehow we will be protected. But protected from what? Maybe another rejection from a loved one? The betrayal of a friend or family member?
We are so afraid of others finding out who we really are. We fear that they will see that at times we can be weak and frail. That we struggle and that sometimes we are even "needy". Why do we feel that we must wear this mask of perfection? Maybe we think people don't care or are afraid they will think we aren't good christians. We feel so judged at times...so we hide.
"We become good a hiding. We hide behind our makeup. We hide behind our humor. We hide with angry silences and punishing withdrawls. We hide our truest selves and offer only what we believe is wanted, what is safe.We act in self-protected ways and refuse to offer what we truly see, believe, and know. We have spoken in the past and been met with blank stares and mocking guffaws. We will not do it again." (Eldredge)

I have to ask myself, what I have done to further this need of covering up? I too have a real tendency to hide, to try and protect myself against more hurt or possible judgement. But God has been calling me to be more transparent. God wants me to be honest, open and real. He wants me to be sensitive to the needs of others, to be available, trustworthy and most of all- to be a grace giver.
If I would become a grace giver to all those I meet would that not make others feel that they could be real with me? If I began to openly share my heart with those around me, regardless of what others thought, wouldn't those around me do the same?
Recently God keeps speaking the same message to me "be real and share your joy and struggles". "Tell them what great things I have done in your life".

One generation shall praise your works to another, and shall declare your mighty acts. They shall eagerly utter the memory of your abundant goodness, and will shout joyfully of your righteousness.
PS 145:4, 7 NASB

Father, help me to be a grace giver. Help me to willingly open up my heart and my life so that you alone might be glorified.



2 comments:

  1. I so understand what you are say. I feel the same way too.

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  2. It is nice to meet you Sharon. You have such a lovely blog. Thank you for visiting and for your very encouraging comments.
    This is a really insightful post. I think it is so true - particularly of us Christians. We sometimes feel we must present a perfect "front" to the world.
    I wonder too if there isn't a balance between hiding and revealing too much. I've been thinking about that in recent months. Sometimes people aren't comfortable with our "confessions". I think we need to be careful how much we reveal and to whom. I do think we should always just try to be real - to be honestly who we are.
    You did a great job with this. Food for thought.

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Leave me some joy...