Yesterday I was involved in a conversation that started with someone asking about a young woman who seems to lack direction on a career choice. They wondered "so is she just waiting around to get married and have kids?" I could not keep silent! So I asked "Is there something wrong with wanting to be just a wife and mom?" Their answer, "well, no. But what does she have to fall back on if she doesn't have a career?" "Fall back on? What do you mean," I asked (I already knew what they were going to say...I've had the discussion before with others). "What if her husband would die or leave her, how would she care for her children?"
There are at least two problems I see here. One, by having this kind of attitude we are telling our young women that they need a career to have value.
Being a wife and mother is a very worthy goal. Several years ago I had a young women come to me in tears. She wanted to get married and have babies. She did not want to pursue a career, but her parents and almost everyone seemed to be saying she needed to go to college. As I talked to her she told me that she really did want kids and she wanted to homeschool them. So my advice to her was this. At this point there were no "prospects" in sight for marriage, so I encouraged her to go to college and get a degree in early education. Not that you need a degree to homeschool, but if God calls you to teach your children then you'll feel more confident. In the meantime I encouraged her to seek God and place Him first in her life, to seek His will. God might be calling her to marriage, but He might be calling her to singleness. Six years later, with an education degree, she got married. She is a very godly young woman who hungers after God. Today she is awaiting the arrival of her triplets!
God does call some women to singleness, and there is nothing wrong with a young woman going to college to pursue a career - if that is God's will for her life. I just think we need to be careful about what value we place on pursuing the career. Our young woman need to be encouraged to seek their value in God and God alone. Not being a wife, mom or career woman. If she feels God calling her to be "just" a wife and mom then we need to praise God! For that is one of the most difficult yet rewarding jobs!
The second problem I see is the lack of trust in God providing for the widows and orphans. To say you need a career to "fall back on" is in essence saying that maybe God won't provide the needs of His children.
We need to be so careful as we speak to the younger generation of women. Their relationship to God is first and foremost, thier "calling" needs to be from godly wisdom not the worlds. As an older woman I need to be pointing the younger women to God and His truth, not what the world (or I) think is truth.
Sharon, I think you gave beautiful advice to the is young lady :) - She now is prepared to teach her children at home :)ReplyDelete
Thank you for sharing.
Blessings to your day and always.
Thank you for your advice!! I also only wanted to be a wife and mommy...it almost sounds lke you gave me the same advice. I had no prospects for marriage, so I went to college...education/early childhood major. I met a wonderful Christian man, and I taught to pay the bills while he attended the seminary. Now, he is a pastor, and I am a mom! We have 3 blessings ages 3,5, &7. I do not homeschool, but am looking forward to teaching in the classroom again when my kiddos are all in school full time.ReplyDelete
What a blessing to have a mentor in her life!