Have you ever had one of those days when you just want to stay in bed, you're not motivated to do anything. Well that was my day today. At first there was guilt, as always, for there is so much I need to do-so much I should do. Then I thought, "you know it's OK to take a day off from the world." To rest, relax, read a book, pray, call a friend and encourage her.
Well- I didn't stay in bed, but my "list" of stuff was put on hold for another day, and you know it's fine. Why don't we give ourselves permission to "unplug" for a day? The trouble comes when "a day" becomes two and two become three and so on.
This morning instead of running out the door and doing what I needed to do I grabbed my Bible study, Bible, cup of coffee and headed to the back deck to sit, read and study. It was beautiful, the birds singing to me, the breeze blowing, and I could hear the creek just a few yards away. What a wonderful time to reflect. Half way through my time my youngest son comes out and we begin to talk-for well over an hour. It was a precious time to sit with him, hear his heart, give advice, listen to his heart, share my heart, share God's word, hear his heart. :-)
My youngest just turned 21 yesterday, and as we sat and talked, I realized that the relationship we have is not normal in today's standard. Recently I was asked how we have such a relationship (especially since he's a boy). He is very open with me, and shares everything-even if I don't really want to hear it-even the bad things. I honestly didn't have an answer for my friend. So I asked my son why. His response was "because you take the time to listen without prejudging. Which is also why I am willing to take the advice you share. And when you disagree with me, it's not just your opinion of why I am wrong, but you share God's opinion. And if there isn't a scripture to back up what you believe your willing to listen to me, pray and study and come back to talk about it." (I don't know everything...and I find my son can sometimes teach me)
I think as our children grow into their older teens and early twenties we forget to let go. We can't parent them as we did when they were two. We want to remain in control over the lives and decisions, but we have to begin to let go at some point and trust God. We need to pray that we have taught them what all they need in order to continue their journey with God without us. Where we have failed to teach - God's grace is sufficient.
By establishing a relationship with them where they know you will listen, they will always come back and ask for your input-your advice. But we can't make them follow it, they have a free will and just as God does not force me to do his will I can not force my young adult son to do mine.
It's hard letting go. Every mother, including me wants to hold on to her baby.