Let all who seek You rejoice and be glad in You; and let those who love Your salvation say continually, “Let God be magnified.” But I am afflicted and needy; Hasten to me, O God! You are my help and my deliverer; O Lord, do not delay. (Psalm 70:4-5)
Some may say it’s my pride, and perhaps it is, but somewhere along the line I got the message that needing the help of others was a bad thing. It shows weakness and I didn’t want to appear weak. I don’t want to “have” to need anyone. Most of my life has been lived with an attitude of “ I can do this, I don’t need your help”. Unfortunately this attitude carries over into my relationship with God. I’ve made choices without God because I “can do it” on my own. Yes, I know, pride with a capitol P!
But God, don’t you just love that phrase! BUT GOD! He is unwilling to just let me go. He knows what is best and while I may fight against Him at times He is patiently and lovingly teaching me of my absolute dependency on Him. He is showing me I do need His help and the way He helps us is by sometimes using others.
Since my accident I have lived with chronic pain and today I can rejoice for it. This pain has taught me of my need to rely on God. It has taught me humility. I am afflicted. I am needy. Neither of those are a sign of weakness. In fact they are quite the opposite. I have learned it takes strength to admit that we indeed are weak and in need of help.
Today I still struggle, at times, with asking others for help, but I am learning. However, I can freely admit before God that I am needy. I can not do this thing called life apart from His help. I need Him in every single moment of every single day. As I learn to rely on Him in the moments of life I am able to see in a greater way just how marvelous and wonderful His grace is poured out to me. In fact because I am relying on Him more and more each day I am able to see just how He uses our affliction and neediness to bring glory to Him.
You see, if I get up in the morning, barely able to walk and in great pain, yet do what I am suppose to do and serve those God places in front of me it is because He has given me the grace to do it. He is the one who gets the glory, not me. So while I have not yet arrived in full knowledge I have learned to say along with Paul, “… "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.” 2 Cor 12:9
It is a continued journey of learning, growing and walking in His grace. A grace that gives me what I need in each moment. A grace that strengthens me, His beloved daughter who is afflicted and needy.
Linking up with Grace & Truth and Counting My Blessings