Currently I am reading a book called The Freedom of Self-Forgetfulness by Timothy Keller and came across this little gem that pricked my heart,
"...the essence of gospel-humility is not thinking more of myself or thinking less of myself, it is thinking of myself less...it means I stop connecting every experience, every conversation, with myself. In fact, I stop thinking about myself...and think of others more. "1
Can I honestly say that I think of ways to pray or encourage others more than I think of myself? To be perfectly honest I don’t like what I see. I definitely could do better.
I want a gospel-humility. I want to live my life thinking of myself less. Self often screams out to be heard, to be fed and I quickly realize how hard this will be. To live a life that does not think of self?
I can NOT do this. At least not on my own. It is only through Christ that I am able. But I so desperately want to change. I want to be more like Christ.
Keller says “The more we get to understand the gospel, the more we want to change.”1 I find this to be true. Since the beginning of the year it seems that all the books I’ve read, all that God has showed me leads to one word, the Gospel. The gospel of Jesus Christ. A gospel that I need to preach to myself everyday.
I want to change. I want to allow God to go deeper into my heart in order to mold me and shape me. I pray for it and ask God to remove any pride or false humility from my life. I pray that He would lead me to a place where I think more of others and think of myself less. I want my life to be centered around the cross, Jesus and the gospel.
Oh Jesus help me to die to self. If there is any pride, false pride or false humility in my heart Jesus I ask that You remove it. Show me how to live filled up with You so that I can live with a gospel-humility attitude. Help me to die to ME!
1 Keller, Timothy'; The Freedom of Self Forgetfulness pages 32,34