It seems impossible that I have been married for 28 years. If I am really honest I never imagined that I would stay married and be absolutely happy about it. Growing up I had no real role model of how a healthy marriage was suppose to be. Society often says that those coming from broken homes are less likely to have a healthy marriage.
Good thing I don’t listen to society! I listen to God and He has had a lot to say to me about marriage over the last 28 years. I am fully aware that apart from God working in me and my husband we could be just another statistic.
But God has shown us…
Marriage is a covenant. A covenant not to be broken except by death. It’s choosing to be committed to one another no matter what life may throw at you.
Love is a choice. You only fall out of love because you choose to. It gets too hard, we stop trying, but love choose to stay and work through the hard places.
You have to laugh. God gave me my husband because God knew I would need to laugh. Keith is the only one who can make me laugh even when I am upset with him.
Neither of us are perfect. We each have areas of our heart and life that God needs to expose and work through in order to mold us into the image of Christ.
Marriage is about growing. It’s a process of growth and maturity. A process that requires grace, patience and a willingness to walk in forgiveness. It’s growing in our relationship with God, with each other and within ourselves.
Marriage is about friendship. Be willing to work at the friendship. Spend time together.Talk about everything, share your hopes, dreams, joys and sorrow. Be life long friends.
There is so much we’ve learned after 28 years this is only a small list. How can one possibly list everything?
I stand amazed as I look over the last 28 years and see all God has done. Our marriage is a result of two people surrendering our wills to God and one another. Not perfectly, but it is a process.
I don’t want to sound as if it’s been easy, it hasn’t been. Anyone who has been married for any length of time knows it takes work, prayer and God. There is a book on my shelf that I have never read, it’s called Sacred Marriage by Gary Thomas. I am sure it’s an excellent book. When I first got it I opened it and read this sentence, “What if marriage is not to make you happy, but to make you holy?” I closed the book and put it on the shelf. It’s the best book I never read.
That sentence in many ways has totally changed my thoughts on marriage. What if God intended marriage to make us holy? What better way to life a life of “iron sharpens iron” than within the marriage relationship? Maybe we come into marriage with the wrong expectations? Maybe it’s more about learning to know God together. It’s just a thought.
We still have many more years ahead of us so I am sure there is so much more to learn. More to love and to grow. I have loved being married and I can’t wait for the next however many years God blesses us with.
I think we have an amazing story of how we met. If you haven’t read it you can read it here Thankful for my marriage. It’s a story of redeeming Love.