I had a recent conversation with my brother where he shared with me that when I became a Christian I made it look so easy to live the Christian life. He knew I wasn’t perfect. I still sinned, still made wrong choices but I never walked away completely.
To him I made the Christian walk appear easy. I think often, as believers, we all tend to make it appear easy. But the Christian walk is far from being easy.
My mind has been reflecting on what my brother said to me. What I have seen is not so pretty. Far too often in the past I believed I needed to act a certain way, according to certain rules and laws. So I modified my behavior.
I behaved as a Christian. Of course this didn’t work so well most of the time. In my own strength good behavior can only last for so long.
You see I wanted to believe that there was an easy button to the Christian life. I looked around at the lives of others they too seemed to make it look easy. I thought I could just clean up my act, do the right things, say the right things and I was “in”.
But it’s far from easy. To truly have a changed life, a life lived for Christ, there is the matter of dying. We don’t like to think about it, but the Christian life is about dying to my desires and following the desires of Christ.
I am not to seek my glory, but to seek His glory. I can no longer live as I please but must live as my Father in heaven pleases.
It wasn’t until about 10 years after “accepting Christ” that I truly realized that it’s not about my outward behavior. The Christian life is about a changed heart, a new heart.
From that moment on I have been on a journey of dying to self. I wish it was a once and done thing, but it’s not. Everyday I wake up I must remind myself that while I am “a freed people I am NOT free.” I am not free to live as I please.
Jesus DID free me from the bondage of sin.
I am free from the power of death.
I have been called into obedience to the will of my Father.
I have been called to die. Daily.
I will be refined as with fire.
I will suffer hardships of all kinds.
I am to surrender my will for that of the FATHER.
I am still learning. Learning how to live the life my Father has called me to live. I am trying to learn how to live without it “looking” like it’s easy.
I don’t have it all together. I have not “arrived”. Some days it’s so hard my flesh wants to give up. To give in to my own selfish desires. But I am reminded that I am no longer who I was, my Father in Heaven is creating in me something new.
So daily I choose to listen to His voice and be obedient to His calling. It’s not easy…but it is a daily choice.