Learning to Live With Reality

Over the past 3 months I’ve gone to two weddings. The brides of each wedding are sisters and as each of them gave the bridal toast there was a stirring in my heart. They talked of being best friends, and how hard it was going to be to be separated. One of the couples will be moving away. These two brides are not only sisters, but they are best friends. They have always been very close, and no other relationship has ever come between them. As I sat and listened to each of them share in tears, by heart longed for what they have.

My sister and I have a different relationship. We are not enemies, but we are not friends. I have reached out many times, called, prayed and longed to share what we could of our lives. But for reasons that I do not know or understand I am left with unanswered phone calls and questions. I’ve had to stop reaching out to her because my hopes would grow when she would promise to return a shortened phone conversation only to be let down. It’s painful because not only have I lost out on a relationship with her, but I’ve lost out on relationships with nieces and a nephew. I have not seen them in years.

I know I am not alone. Many of you have similar experiences; many of you understand the pain that is caused by relationship left unfulfilled. We know that our God heals ALL wounds and fills every longing, but I think we often by into the lie that it is not enough. We, or at least I, have created a reality that does not exist. I’ve conjured up in my mind this picture of what it is like to have a sister and friend all rolled up into one. I’ve imagined what it would look like and FEEL like if I had this with MY sister.

But the reality is my sister is more of a stranger than friend.

The reality is God has allowed me to have relationships with several friends that have become sisters.

The reality is I will always mourn the relationship that could be with my sister, and that is ok.

The reality is God can and does give us sisters of the heart. They are ‘soul or kindred’ sisters. These are precious and they are a gift.

The reality is I will always have my ‘birth’ sister and I can continue to pray for her. Now I can also reach out to her without having any expectations, being content, and leaving it with Jesus when there is yet another rejection.

I can do this because the reality is that I am far more knitted together with my spiritual sisters than I will ever be with my birth sister.

And the reality is, on top of those I consider “kindred/knitted” God has given me many, many sisters in the Lord. It is such a marvelous and precious gift. Even you my bloggy sisters know me better and have more contact with me than my birth sister.

So I am learning to embrace the gifts God has given me. Yes, there will still be days/moments when I will mourn the “loss” of what might have been, but God in His sovereign goodness has given me more than I could ever want or need or ask.

The reality is I do not even deserve this gift but it is another way He is showing me just how much He loves me.

Oh Father, how I thank you for your goodness. Thank you for helping me see the gifts that you’ve given and to understand that they are enough and I can be content.


  1. Sharon - this is a very touching post. I have been blessed with 2 sisters who are also my best friends so this makes me appreciate them even more. I'm so glad that God has placed other "sisters" in your life. I know you are such a blessing to me, and I'm sure you are even more of a blessing to women you know in person. Thanks for your honesty and sharing.

  2. I have to agree with Mari, You have been such a Blessing to me also, and Your sister is the one who is missing out my friend, I pray for you both. I love your true heart, Have a Blessed and Happy New Year:)

  3. Sharon
    I can relate with you... I have never had a very close relationship with my sister, but we have had a relationship until this past year.

    She has decided to go down a pathway of sin, saying that it is not sin, and even going so far as to say that it is God's will for her life, when it is clear cut in the scriptures that it is sin and not His will for anyone. So for now our relationship has been severed, according to 1 Cor. 5:11, and it has been and is so very hard...

    But I like you am so thankful for my sisters in the Lord, what a blessing they are!

    Happy New Year and Blessings to you!


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